Chapter 11

On the first night of summer vacation, for the first time since he’d entered high school, Kagiura spent the night alone. The two-person room felt so large when he was in it all by himself. Because Hirano always got back before Kagiura did—and because he was a bit of a type A—he always kept the place clean. So now, even getting back and opening the door felt different. The very smell of the room seemed different without Hirano hanging out there. Kagiura had heard it said that a house was a living thing, which was why it went to waste when its occupants were gone. He knew, too, how eagerly his grandfather anticipated those long holidays when the many empty rooms of his home would be filled with boisterous guests. Kagiura had never felt the truth of those things, not viscerally, but now that he’d left his family’s house and moved into a place of his own, he thought he understood. Someone needs to be there. And two were better than one. He talked to his parents and grandfather and had no trouble getting their permission to bring his friend from school home with him. That was all he’d told Hirano, but the conversation had taken something of a dramatic leap. He brought the subject up that night when he called Hirano while he had a chance to do so from the dorm. “By the way, Hirano,” he said, “my family said they figured my dorm roommate was probably used to me by now, and it would be fine with them even if you stayed for a week or two!” “That’s a long time. What am I supposed to be ‘used to’ anyway?” “I’m not sure, myself… We do have visitors who stay for a whole week.” “That’s really kind of them to offer, but it’s way too long.” Hirano chuckled. His voice sounded lower over the phone than it did in person. The higher tones were stripped away, and it sounded new to Kagiura. “Summer lectures keeping you busy?” he asked. “It’s not too bad. They wrap up by evening. What about you, Kagi? Everything going okay?” “The team is doing fantastic. Sure wish I could go swimming in this heat, though.” “Not that! I mean the supplementary lectures. You’re working on the problem sets before you go, right?” “Yeah, I am. I’d better. They tell you which ones you have to do every day, or else.” In a recent class, the teacher had told them that in his view, there wasn’t much of a fundamental difference in academic ability between the kids in the remedial lectures and anyone else—he believed that most students who claimed they couldn’t study simply weren’t in the habit of sitting down at their desks and doing it. Kagiura was inclined to agree with him. After all, he’d spent the entire term watching Hirano, who not only sat at his desk every day, but continued to study independently after finishing his homework. Otherwise, it might have been easy to write it off and say, “My brain’s just not built that way.” But thanks to Hirano, he’d seen how daily effort created and built a gap. “Probably better to face that in your first year. You’ll do better reviewing the first term’s material than just picking classes by feel.” Kagiura wasn’t entirely convinced pure effort was the primary determining factor for scores—there were too many differences from person to person—but Hirano, who studied much harder than he did, had taken the time and effort to help him. He had to do what he could. “Right,” he said after a moment. “I’ll do my best. But, uh…” He was already speaking quietly so he wouldn’t bother anyone in the hall, and now he dropped his voice even more. “But what?” “Without you here, Hirano, the room feels too big and quiet.” He heard a sort of hoo, and Kagiura couldn’t help closing his eyes at a tickle that felt as if Hirano’s breath were right on his ear. “You’ve gotta be sleepy, Kagi. Better turn in for the night.” He wanted to protest that he wasn’t a kid who needed to be babied at bedtime, but Hirano was right; he could feel sleepiness weighing on him. I don’t want to hang up the phone. I want to fall asleep just like this… He knew that wasn’t possible, but to his own chagrin, he almost found himself saying the words. He couldn’t wait to see Hirano again.