Chapter 10

Most of the basketball team’s practice took place in the gym, but they did their warm-up run outside. Listening to the wind orchestra tuning up and practicing marches, Kagiura almost felt like they were urging him on. He was covered in sweat, drinking constantly to stay hydrated. Squinting against the too-bright sunlight made him think of Hirano’s golden hair. It was ironic that a member of the Disciplinary Committee would have hair like that, and unfortunately all that bleaching and dyeing had damaged it. A real shame, given how good it looked on him. Then there were the small studs he wore in his earlobes, whereabouts still unknown. Even though it had been a whole week, Hirano showed no real concern; Kagiura seemed more worried than Hirano did. As long as it was stabilized, an ear piercing wasn’t likely to close up, but it was still a wound. Leave it for too long, and the hole would definitely get smaller. When Kagiura had asked him about it, Hirano had told him it was his first piercing, so Kagiura thought maybe he should put something in it to hold the shape. Hirano, however, simply said, “I took them both off together. I’m sure they’ll turn up eventually.” He was so nonchalant about it that you would never think it was his own possessions that had been lost. Wiping the sweat from his neck with a towel as he jogged into the gym, Kagiura pondered what color jewelry would look best on Hirano. Kagiura always saw Hirano wearing whatever he lounged around the room in; he didn’t have a firm sense of what Hirano wore when he went out on non-school days. One might think he would have seen that every weekend, but Kagiura, who gave every day off to the team, didn’t see much of Hirano on the weekends. Meanwhile, he only really saw Hirano in his school uniform whenever Kagiura contrived to pass by him in the hallway. Hirano was the first of them to wake up in the morning, but he obviously didn’t throw on his uniform before he woke Kagiura up. And he was the first to get back to the room after class, so by the time Kagiura got back, Hirano was already in his loungewear. So Kagiura had no idea what kind of accessory would look good with whatever Hirano liked to wear. No time to go out and buy something together before summer break, either. What should he do, then? He was still thinking about it when the team was called together to start doing drills. He’d had it pounded into him that divided attention was the best way to get hurt in a hurry, so he promptly switched his mind to focus entirely on basketball. Interestingly enough, it also helped him stop worrying about being sweaty. The gym was closed up tight, to take advantage of an indulgent amount of air-conditioning, and between the closed doors and the absolute focus, he could no longer hear the wind orchestra practicing. Kagiura and his helpers easily got through the paper application stage, and soon thereafter they passed the interview with flying colors. Niibashi did every bit as well, or even better, than Kagiura had expected. His presentation, which he delivered with a smile that oozed confidence, was tremendously effective, and he had done his research. The fact that he had already considered what would have to be done in terms of food safety only added to the appeal of their proposal. He made it look like a stall that could attract customers even in the school’s cutthroat inner courtyard space. In just a few days, Niibashi had conducted research among their second- and third-year peers. It was a truly sterling performance. Everyone had agreed it would be a real trick for a bunch of untested first-years to get one of the coveted spots in the central courtyard, but Niibashi delivered an audition so polished it was hard to believe he’d put it together in such a short, hectic time. Niibashi had a gift for networking and was already reaching out to other classes that would need similar materials. Kagiura and the other two committee representatives practically felt like his assistants instead of the other way around. Unlike the student applicants, who were bursting with enthusiasm for their projects and on the edge of their seats to find out the results, the students on the judging side of the Cultural Festival Committee were, to put it generously, calm. To put it less generously, they seemed a bit disengaged, and that surprised Kagiura. He’d assumed that at a school that prized individual initiative as much as this one did, the members of the student council would be people who loved planning and executing. Instead, the student council president, Touou, was fussy and particular. He was comfortable giving orders, as befitting someone who’d become student council president despite only being a second-year. And even the way he lobbed questions about the proposals, sparing no one from his condescending glare, was somehow striking—but he didn’t look like he was having much fun. There was one more surprising thing: the way Niibashi calmly and completely handled Touou’s interrogation, which sometimes approached the level of browbeating. It was enough to make Kagiura wonder if the two were friends, but he didn’t want to interrupt the fun Niibashi was obviously having, so he kept his questions to himself. Since it was almost summer break, they only had class in the morning that day. The basketball team would be taking a break from their workouts, too. The gym was unavailable because it was being used for inspections, plus the faculty adviser was away for teacher training and the coach was off, so there was no one to oversee practice. The team members decided to take advantage of the situation to go to a sporting goods store. Kagiura, who knew his way around the place, decided to get a new pair of shoes, meanwhile giving advice and recommendations to the others. The school used this shop all the time—it made the team’s uniforms—and it felt good to find out that the store owner knew him on sight, even though he was only a first-year, and to know that he was rooting for their team. He’d even come to some of their practice games. Kagiura went back to the dorm with his heart dancing, eager to ask Hirano to come to a practice game, too. Even after shopping and lunch, he was still back much earlier than usual; it wasn’t even three o’clock yet. He could do his homework and still have time to goof off. “I’m back!” he said as he came through the door, but there was no answer. “Huh…?” He didn’t see Hirano’s bag. He must have still been out. Maybe he has a committee meeting, Kagiura thought as he stretched out a sheet on the bed and started organizing his basketball stuff. Once he was cleaned up, he started his homework, approaching it just the way Hirano had taught him. Bet he’ll be surprised to find me like this, Kagiura thought. But he was disappointed—come evening, Hirano still wasn’t home. Starting to feel anxious, Kagiura left the door propped open, but Hanzawa came by and closed it, remarking, “Open doors are a hazard to other students!” Hanzawa was on the Disciplinary Committee with Hirano, which meant they weren’t at a late meeting. “Hanzawa,” Kagiura said, “I haven’t seen Hirano yet. Do you know where he is?” “Not a clue. But hey, he’s not a kid. He’ll be fine. I’m headed to dinner. You want to come?” He was right: Dinnertime had started, and although there was a fairly generous window of time to eat, it was best to go early so you wouldn’t overlap with bath time. “Yeah, sure…” Kagiura really hoped it was nothing, but his heart was still beating faster than usual as he followed Hanzawa down the hall. Hirano got back to the dorm just before dinner ended. Since he’d gone straight to the cafeteria without putting his stuff down, it was bath time for the first-years by the time he showed up at the room. Kagiura was just leaving and only had time for a quick hello, but he thought Hirano looked a bit angry. Hirano often talked a little rough, but it was rare for him to seem genuinely out of sorts. Kagiura wanted to ask him about it but wasn’t sure if he should. What if it was something too sensitive to discuss with him? Every day, he was self-conscious about the one-year age gap—and associated life experiences—between them. He felt anxious and wasn’t able to talk to Hirano the way he did with his friends. If this was something Hirano couldn’t deal with himself, then the chances of Kagiura being able to help seemed awfully slim. And what if he made things worse by sticking his nose in? At the same time, he decided he couldn’t just do nothing. He was still fretting about how to approach the subject as he left the bath and jogged back to their room. “I’m done washing up,” he called, knocking gently on the door, and was rewarded with “Nice, welcome back.” But Hirano sounded more subdued than usual. Kagiura found him sitting at his desk, and there was indeed a hard look in his eyes. “What’s happening with you today?” Kagiura ventured, feeling like the intensity of Hirano’s gaze might overwhelm him. “What do you mean?” “Well, you were pretty late getting back, but it didn’t seem to be a committee thing…” “Oh… Sorry, man. You were worried about me?” “Yeah. I was.” Worry. That’s what it was. When Hirano said it, Kagiura realized. The clinging unease he’d felt all afternoon and evening was painfully similar to the lonely isolation he’d felt as a child when he was alone in the house. A swirling anxiety that gnawed at him and made him wonder if something had happened to his parents to keep them from coming home for so long, or if some awful fate had befallen his older siblings or his little sister. “Oh… Well, it ain’t exactly a pretty story.” “Yeah?” “See, there was a fight at school today—really just a straight-up assault. One guy just attacked another. Totally outrageous.” One of the junior members of the Disciplinary Committee had nearly stepped in to stop the fight, and one of Hirano’s friends had tried to stop him, then jumped in instead and ended up getting hurt in the process of breaking things up. Hirano had gone with his friend to the committee room and gotten his story, after which he’d also talked to the first-year who’d been hit and the junior committee member and then finally consulted with the faculty adviser about what to do—and that was why he’d been late. Hanzawa hadn’t heard about any of this because, although he was vice president of the committee, the faculty adviser had hesitated to call back a student who’d already returned to the dorm. “Wow… But you know who did it, right? Won’t they be suspended for something like that?” Kagiura said. “The guy who jumped in to help isn’t much of a fighter, and the attacker got away. We know it’s a first-year who did it, but we’re coming up on summer break real soon, so I’m not sure there’s much we can do. The interloper wouldn’t say much anyway. Stupid time to worry about looking dumb.” As he talked, Hirano sounded more and more upset with his friend. Even more than that, he seemed annoyed. Something between regret and frustration. Thinking about how it must feel to know someone wouldn’t open up to you even though you were close, Kagiura reached out to Hirano, caressing his lovely golden hair. It was the reverse of their usual positions, but Kagiura thought it was what Hirano would do in his shoes: listen to him, comfort him, encourage him. Hirano would probably have been better at it, but for now, Kagiura lacked the words to hold Hirano’s anger. Hirano’s eyes widened a little when he felt Kagiura’s hand in his hair. “What are you doing?” “I thought maybe this would help you calm down…” There was a moment of silence, and then Hirano exhaled; Kagiura just caught the words “Hey, it really does…” Hirano’s face softened into a smile. It was Kagiura’s turn to be surprised. I never knew he could look so gentle. Hirano looked like a cat who had taken a shine to him. “So how long are you gonna be, uh, petting me?” Hirano asked. No sooner were the words out of his mouth than Kagiura’s hand snapped back to his side. Even after Hirano went to the bath, though, when Kagiura was snug in bed, he could still feel the sensation of that golden hair on his palm. When Hirano got back twenty minutes later, refreshed after washing the sweat off, he was no longer cheerless. He sat at his desk and pulled out what looked like a map of the school grounds, then suddenly he said, “I think we can clean this thing up before summer break comes around.” He sounded downright excited, not sullen or angry. This was the Hirano Kagiura knew. When Kagiura asked, it turned out that Hirano had talked to Hanzawa in the bath, and they had decided how they would proceed. Namely, they would trace the path the culprit had gone running off in, then talk to students whose clubs had been active in the area that afternoon in hopes of correlating eyewitness testimony that would allow them to pinpoint the guilty student. True, it wasn’t terribly likely that people busy with club activities had taken much notice of a random student dashing by, but the hope was that the odd way he might have been acting after the fight would have attracted some attention. With the concerted efforts of everyone on the Disciplinary Committee—including Hanzawa—and the support of the faculty adviser, they were indeed able to find the culprit before vacation started. Not only did the guy have a bad attitude, but this was his second violent outburst, so there would be no more slaps on the wrist; the school administration knew they had to deal with him. All before the start of summer break, exactly as Hirano had said. When Kagiura got back to the room after chatting with some of his teammates who also lived in the dorm, Hirano was already turning off his desk lamp and getting ready for bed. It was unusual for him to turn in without doing some studying or even reading a book, but Kagiura decided to follow his example and climbed into bed. Today had been the last day of regular classes, and in two days, the end-of-term ceremony would be held. The basketball team had a workout in preparation for the practice game that weekend, but Hirano was going home right away. Kagiura wouldn’t see him again until the new term started. The realization brought on a wave of loneliness. Applications for mock tests were behind him, but mornings all this week were occupied by supplementary lectures, so he wouldn’t have thought there was time to feel lonely. I can’t believe I’ve gotten to a point where I can feel like that about him. Kagiura had been startled by Hirano’s flamboyant appearance at first—but, really, only at first. From the way Hirano had slid his slippers aside to the way he’d eaten Kagiura’s green peppers, Kagiura had learned how kind Hirano could be before the day was out. He was more comfortable living with Hirano than he would ever have expected to feel around someone who wasn’t a member of his family. “Hey, Hirano?” “Hmm?” “You’re going home the day after the end-of-term ceremony, right?” “That’s the plan. You’re here till next week, right, Kagi? Got your practice game.” “Uh-huh. Plus, there are supplementary lectures this week.” “And you’re attending them? Good job.” Honestly, Kagiura had been a bit worried about that. His grades had hardly been the top of the class, but he’d rallied at the end of the term and done just well enough that he wasn’t required to attend the remedial lectures. He knew it would be best to attend them if he could, but he also had basketball to think about, and he could have justified being absent. That said, the reason he’d mentioned it was because he knew very well that, left to his own devices, he would happily take the path of least resistance and put it off. But after all the help Hirano had given him, he would never betray the other man’s expectations of him. At least…as much as possible. “They promised they’d show us how to do the problems in the summer homework. You’ve never had to attend this sort of thing, have you, Hirano?” “Nah. I’m a diligent student.” “Geez, humblebrag much…” “Ha-ha. You’re pretty serious yourself, Kagi. Keep it up next term.” “I will. Hey… Hirano?” He felt his heart start to race and clenched his fists as he lay on the bed. Why? It’s not like I’m going to say anything terrible. “Do you have plans for summer break already? I mean, maybe around the end of July or the beginning of August?” There was a note of tension in his voice as if he was confessing to a misdeed. “That’s awfully specific. What’s up?” “You want to go out to the countryside with me?” “Hmm? What, you mean, like, since I’m going home anyway?” His words were dubious and slow, weighed down by sleepiness. Kagiura just prayed fervently that he wouldn’t say no outright. “Yeah.” “You’re not exactly out in the sticks, are you, Kagi?” Hirano’s and Kagiura’s homes were both in the prefecture, even on the same train line. Ignoring the distance from the stations to their houses, they lived just thirty minutes apart by train. “No, I mean my parents’ family home… Will you think about it? It’s a big place, so there’s plenty of rooms. It wouldn’t get cramped. And my relatives bring all sorts of people there every year, so you wouldn’t stand out or anything…” He was just trying to make the most appealing case he could, but it was true. His cousin, a university student, would bring friends from his club, and relatives with small children were forever showing up with their whole clans to spend some time at a house they knew well. In short, Kagiura’s grandfather’s home was a busy place during summer vacation. “How long ya gonna be there, Kagi?” “I’ll catch the night bus on the thirtieth. Get there on the thirty-first. I was thinking, maybe stay two days and catch the night bus back on the third day.” Until the year before, he’d gone with his family, so he could stay a little longer—but he’d figured this would be an easier length of time to invite Hirano. It was exactly the schedule he wanted, if possible. He had a reason he needed to stick to this precise timing. Maybe Hirano saw that, but if he had prior commitments already, Kagiura would just have to give up… “If your folks are all right with it, then that’s cool. No summer lectures around then, either.” Kagiura sat up, taken aback by Hirano’s unfussy acceptance. His phone was on his desk, charging. “Hey, you’re not gonna ask them about it right this second, are you?” “Uh… I guess that’d be a bad thing, wouldn’t it?” “Of course it would! Do it tomorrow. Look at the clock. It’s lights-out already. Time for using cell phones or other devices is s’posed to be over.” Kagiura knew Hirano wasn’t usually this much of a stickler, so he understood that the other man was trying to stop him for his own good. Just another demonstration of what a decent person he was. “Sure, you’re right. Good night, Hirano.” “Yeah. G’night, Kagi.” There was the click of a light switch, and then the room was dark. When the lights went out, all the anxiety and tension Kagiura had felt moments before vanished like a dream, and he soon fell sound asleep.