“Hehe,” she giggled. “But I’m happy you said that I had talent, and was good at singing.” Utena smiled and bowed, which was unlike her. “Thanks, Hitomi. You’re kind. Utena was losing her confidence, so I’m happy. Utena’s looks are plain, after all... It’s not the face of an idol, right?”
She’s right, Utena’s face was pretty average. But I don’t think all idols have to be beautiful. This is especially true recently— on TV, the idols I remember are all girls that have that close kind of feel, like the kind I would pass by in town. I’m not an expert, though, so I might be wrong.
“I’ve started hearing some awful rumors, too,” she sad sadly, “bad enough to crumble Utena’s identity. When I confessed to Kousuke and told him I liked him, I was completely rejected, too.”
“......what?” I couldn’t let that go, so I latched onto Utena’s words. “You uhh, confessed to Kousuke?” The princess of the Kagamimoris? To a normal guy, now that I think about it?
“Yeah. It looks like Utena falls in love easily. Kousuke, you know, has his parents’ situation and stuff, so it was probably inevitable. But he’s been by Utena’s side, and is nice. He’s kind and reliable, too. He’s pretty good-looking, too, don’t you think?”
Is that so... Well, I do think he’s above average. My chest is all aflutter, and I can’t think straight. Panicking, I kind of took it out on Kousuke by insulting him. “Actually, Kousuke, that guy... Who does he think he is, to reject the daughter of the Kagamimoris? There’s no way. Sorry, he’s still a child at heart.”
“Ufufu. You talk like you know, Hitomi.” Utena gave a bitter smile, looking somewhat lonely. “How do you say it, maybe the order was wrong. Utena’s an honest person so when I feel like I like someone I tell them. Kousuke, he panicked a lot when he rejected me. Like ‘sorry, I can’t,’ and stuff. He clearly denied what Utena said, that was probably the first and last time.” With affection, Utena talked about a side of Kousuke I didn’t know. “That’s why I got obsessed over him— Utena doesn’t get said no to a lot. I end up getting everything I want. Utena started caring about him the day he wouldn’t become mine even though Utena said she liked him.” So at first she confessed because she wanted to, but when she got rejected, it conversely lit a fire in her. What a troublesome, or rather, complicated, maiden’s heart this lady has.
I kind of get where she’s coming from though. You want something because you can’t have it. That might just be natural human mentality.
“That’s why Kousuke was Utena’s favorite from then on, and we were together even more. Utena even told him all her most important secrets. Like Utena’s dream of becoming an idol... He’s my best friend, although it may just be Utena who thinks that.”
“Why did Kousuke reject Kagamimori-san’s confession, I wonder?” It was a real question, I was curious. Utena’s cute, in a normal way. It’s not like it would be impossible for him physically, I think. But if that was the reason he rejected her, I was ready to abuse and slander him verbally, as a woman myself.
“It wasn’t anything unusual. He had someone else he liked.” Utena looked at me straight on, with a smile that was, somehow, very mature. “Probably, that person would be you, Hitomi. Kousuke likes Hitomi. You guys are precious childhood friends, aren’t you? He’s loved you for a long time, now. It’s like a girl’s manga, Utena was convinced when she thought of it like that.”
“No— no way, there’s no possibility of that.” For some reason, I denied that desperately. My heart was ringing like an alarm. “There’s no way... We were really small children when we got along. Until the both of us got trapped in this alternate dimension, we hadn’t even talked for years.”
“Stuff like love and dreams, they don’t just go away with time, right? That’s what Utena wants to believe. Well, all of it is Utena’s own deduction.” It probably wasn’t a fun subject for Utena, from how quickly she cut it off. Well, even if she did it lightheartedly at first, he was someone she confessed her love to... She probably didn’t want to have to say, ‘He likes you,’ to someone he might like.
No, but it’s not like... I don’t think the one Kousuke likes is me, though. I mean, he didn’t act like that at all; we’re just childhood friends. I’m absolutely shaken. I completely forgot the fact that I was in a bizarre alternate dimension, my thoughts whirling around in circles.
“Once we get out of here safely, let’s interrogate Kousuke about it,” Utena said. “They say first loves never work out, but it’s the love life of someone Utena confessed her love to, even if it was just once. Utena will cheer you on. Kousuke, and Hitomi, too, while Utena’s at it. No, no, it’s the love between both of you.” Playfully, Utena gave me a charming wink. “Hitomi, too— if possible, Utena would be happy if you cheered her on, too.” Utena was still saying something, but I couldn’t react.
“Don’t you get the feeling that we could be friends?” Flashing an incredibly charming smile, Utena suddenly stood up, and then she started talking while looking somewhere far away. “Now then, this was fun, but let’s end the talking here.”
Startled, I looked up at her. The gondola was shaking heavily, and I couldn’t remain calm. I started scratching at the surface of the seat, with nowhere to grab onto. Shelving my thoughts momentarily, I looked up at Utena. “W-what’s wrong?” I asked.
“This height should be enough.” Utena looked around at her surroundings in a circle: at the window panes, which made up a large part of the gondola, in order to let people enjoy the scenery. She glared hatefully at the bizarre scenery on the other side. While we were busy talking, the gondola had reached the top of the Ferris wheel. It was tall enough to give me vertigo; I could see the whole park from here. The park must have opened, because I could see the customers with unrecognizable faces wriggling around below, like a swarm of bugs. “I’m so sick of it... I can’t endure it anymore, this amusement park,” Utena spat, as if it was natural; suddenly, and in the blink of an eye.
“I’ll be going back first, Hitomi. Come right after, so we can talk again?” Saying those last words, Utena quickly stepped out of the entrance of the gondola. And, just like that, fell without any resistance.
“Utena-sa—” I had no idea what was going on, and could only sit there, dumbfounded. Huh, she fell? Why? An accident? But it looked like she fell out of the gondola of her own accord— what’s this? What’s going on? Panicking, I stuck my face as close to the window as I could. I looked down at the ground. Utena fell as she picked up speed. It must have been scary; she was holding her head with eyes closed. She hit the ground with a lot of momentum. It was too far away, so I heard almost no sound, but it was probable that she died instantly.