As auditions drew closer, the office was bustling with activity. Everyone wanted to record demos for self-tape auditions. Usually, you could just walk in and wait for a bit to get a chance to use the recording studio, but not so during this time of year. The reservation sheet was always jam-packed, to the point where managers sometimes even got into fights about scheduling sessions. Not that they would do this in front of their talents, of course. In self-tape auditions, you had to demonstrate your ability to act as the designated character with just a few short sample lines. The only way to pull it off was to fully immerse yourself and internalize the role. If it was an adaptation of a preexisting work, you could just read that to prepare. In the case of an original story, however, your only option was to imagine the character from the limited information you were given. Suzune always did this at the end of her day. That was also when she checked recorded footage and looked over scripts. She tried to relax as much as possible, turned her phone off, and sank into herself completely. A major selling point of Suzune’s apartment building was that the walls blocked all sound, even that of instruments and such. As long as she closed the doors and windows, she could speak or shout as loudly as she wanted, and she also wouldn’t have to worry about outside noise. The rent was that much higher because of it, but it was a necessary expense. She wasn’t messaging with Karin quite as often these days, either. Although they still never missed a day, she couldn’t spend hours just chatting back and forth anymore during this busy audition period. Despite being a rookie voice actress, Karin herself had received no fewer than twenty offers. She had been requested by name for five guest roles, and she was auditioning for fifteen main roles. Those numbers weren’t that far off from Suzune’s own. It was very clear that the agency and production studios alike had high expectations for Karin. At Earpo, three or four people typically auditioned for a single role. Acting chops weren’t the only thing that determined who passed the audition. There were plenty of other factors taken into account, such as a voice actor’s ability to strike a balance with the rest of the cast, their understanding of the role, their popularity, and more. So it was entirely possible that Karin would get chosen for a main role right out of the gate. And Suzune’s honest thoughts on this were simply… Good luck, Karin-sama! Perhaps some people might say Suzune could only think this way because she was bound to receive plenty of roles herself, but that wasn’t the case. Any true fan always put their oshi’s happiness above their own. And in Suzune’s heart, Karin was still her number one oshi, now and forever. Even if she couldn’t watch her put on new performances as an idol anymore, Suzune instead got to see Karin up close and personal. It gave her access to all-new content she never could have dreamed of experiencing in Karin’s idol days, from what Karin looked like without makeup to what she wore outside work. Thanks to this constant supply, she was forming a more perfect picture of her beloved Karin. Suzune felt blessed, as if she were getting to bear witness to the process of a goddess being reborn into human form. Besides, she might still get to see Karin perform in an idol-like capacity, even if it wouldn’t be quite the same. Karin hadn’t ruled out roles that involved musical performances, and she wasn’t refusing to appear on camera in interviews and such. In this day and age, the line between voice actresses and general entertainers was becoming increasingly blurred, and new idol units formed out of anime projects one after another. Maybe Karin could even end up being the center of a new unit one day. Since Suzune didn’t do musical performances herself, she wouldn’t be in a unit with Karin. And that was fine. It only seemed proper for an oshi and her fan. Plus, Suzune wanted to watch Karin’s performances from the audience anyway. “I passed!” Suzune was walking to her next recording session when she received an excited phone call from Karin. The breeze was beginning to take on a colder bite, and yellowing ginkgo leaves whirled around at her feet, dancing in the air. “Congratulations!” That being said, Karin had only passed the self-tape audition stage. There was still the final round to get through: studio auditions. At the studio, you had to read the script in front of the directors, producers, and in the case of an adaptation, the creator of the original work. They would even give you directions during the audition. The degree of tension was on an entirely different level. Still, Karin must have made it through plenty of nerve-wracking situations in her time as an idol. Surely she wouldn’t get stage fright. Otherwise, how would she have performed in front of thousands of people? “Which ones did you pass?” “Let’s see, um…” Karin listed off seven titles, two of which Suzune had also passed for different roles. “We’ll be together for those studio auditions, then.” “That’s right!” Karin’s voice was bursting with joy. Suzune’s eyes crinkled fondly as she looked back on the early days of her career. The first time she’d gotten word she passed an audition, she’d felt like she was walking on air. Her future had seemed to spread out in front of her, bright and shining with possibilities, and she’d felt as if she could land any role in the world. But in the end, she’d wound up flunking the studio auditions for that first role. When Miama told her she didn’t make it, she’d spent the day cursing the cruelty of the world while busying herself at her part-time job. “Erm…would you be willing to come with me to those auditions, by any chance?” Karin’s timid voice tickled Suzune’s ears. It was like her own personal binaural ASMR session. She always enjoyed talking on the phone with Karin, of course. There were hardly any silences, to the point where it was hard to find the right time to end the call. Usually, Suzune was the one to finally hang up. She didn’t want to take up too much of her oshi’s time, after all. “Hmm, I’m not sure… I think Miama-san will probably go with you.” Their manager wouldn’t send a total newbie to an audition all alone. Even though the studio always gave their address, it was easy to get lost since they tended not to stand out much. “Oh, right, of course…” The anxiety in Karin’s voice made Suzune’s fangirl heart twinge. As much as she wished she could take Karin by the hand and bring her to the studio personally, it wouldn’t be good to overstep. “Let’s go out to eat afterward, then!” “Sure, as long as I’m free—I’ll have to check my schedule.” “No problem!” After her cheerful response, they chatted about nothing in particular for a while, only hanging up shortly before Suzune reached the studio. She put her phone in her bag, took a deep breath, and exhaled slowly as she switched gears. “Good moooorning!” A proper greeting was a fundamental part of the job. It was how she switched into work mode. “Sengu, I’m so sorry!” While Suzune was checking the schedule board at the office, Miama suddenly emerged from the meeting room and clapped her hands together in apology. Wh-what’s going on?! A dozen different worst-case scenarios popped into her mind at once, vying for her attention. Had an audition offer got retracted? Had a live event she was supposed to appear in been called off? Had she somehow been canceled on social media even though she never used it? Or maybe…had they found out she was secretly a huge Karin stan?! “It’s about tomorrow’s audition. I hate to do this to you, but is there any way you could go with Shotsuki?” “Huh? What?” This was so far from anything she’d imagined that her mind briefly went blank. “The problem is, an unscheduled meeting suddenly came up that I absolutely can’t miss. I asked Kuruma to greet the studio on my behalf, but this is Shotsuki’s first audition ever, you know? You and Karin are the only two of my talents who are going to this audition, so you’re the only person I can ask to do this. Please!” She clapped her hands together again, raising them in supplication. Kuruma was another manager at the agency. Since a few of her talents were going to this audition, too, it worked out well enough for her to go along to the studio. Maybe she didn’t also want to be held responsible for a newbie who was under another manager, though. “I’ve already given her a rundown of the basics, so all you have to do is go with her, really. And maybe look out for her in the unlikely event that anything goes wrong?” “All right. I don’t mind.” Suzune was more than happy to lend a hand to her oshi. “Oh, thank you! I’ll treat you to a meal or something soon, I swear!” …And so, on the day of the audition, Suzune found herself meeting up with Karin at the station closest to the studio. The auditions weren’t until the evening. While Suzune would normally just walk, she figured it was better to get a ride since she wasn’t alone this time. This was Karin’s first audition, after all. It would be best to avoid using too much of her stamina before the time came. Since the company didn’t cover travel expenses, Suzune normally took a bus instead of a taxi if she needed to get a ride somewhere without a nearby train station. But again, Karin was with her today. Even if the former idol wore a mask, someone might recognize her. Since they both had distinct voices that carried well, the risk would be even higher if they were talking. Suzune was waiting just outside the ticket barrier when someone suddenly smacked her shoulder. As she turned around with a start, she found Karin wearing a mask, her eyes twinkling. “Good morning.” Karin was wearing a boat neck long-sleeved sweater with tight-fitting jeans. She had small studs in both ears that looked like diamonds. It didn’t look like her clothes would make any noise, which was good. When recording, it was important to choose clothes that wouldn’t rustle or clink in the booth. Karin seemed to have grasped this point already. “G’morning.” Suzune was wearing a khaki T-shirt dress with a belt and slip-on shoes. “Well…it looks like you’re not nervous at all, hmm?” “It’s the strangest thing. I thought I would be more on edge, but I surprised myself with how normal I feel. Maybe I’m just used to this.” “Did you do this kind of thing a lot before? Auditions and stuff, I mean.” They made conversation as they walked toward the taxi stand. “Yes, quite a bit. We had auditions to choose the center for every song.” “Ooh, I see.” Truthfully, Suzune already knew this. The process was included in a DIAGONAL documentary, and one time, the fans had even gotten to decide the center by vote. Obviously, Suzune had participated, and obviously, Karin had won by a landslide. Out of the several taxis available, Suzune picked one with a female driver, and they got inside. “If you could please take us to…” She gave the name of the studio. The driver thanked her, punched the address into the navigator with practiced ease, and started driving. The revving and lurching when the car first started always bothered Suzune a little. “Miama-san must be a very busy woman,” Karin commented, placing a large quilted bag in her lap. “Do managers not normally come to things with you in the voice acting business?” “Hmm…they’ll show up for radio shows and events and the like, but not usually for recording sessions, I suppose.” That was how it was at Earpo, at least, though it might vary depending on the agency. “Miama-san always comes to auditions, though. But apparently, she had a meeting today that she couldn’t get out of.” “Yes, I heard. It actually feels like a stroke of good luck to me.” “Why’s that? Does Miama-san still make you nervous? I know she’s intimidating.” “No, not at all. But since she can’t make it, I get to tag along with you, Sengu-san. I feel much better having you at my side.” MY HEAAART! Those words nearly sent Suzune floating off to heaven. Her cheeks ached with the effort of keeping a delighted grin off her face. Clearing her throat, she changed the subject for the sake of her emotional stability. “Um, so, you’re trying out for a young boy role, right?” “That’s right.” There was confidence in Karin’s answer. Having heard her record that voice in her demo reel, Suzune thought Karin had good reason to be sure of herself. Even though she hadn’t heard Karin act in this specific role yet, the character described didn’t seem so different from the boy she imagined from Karin’s sample. She might just land a regular role in her very first audition. “You’re trying out for the heroine, right, Sengu-san? If we both pass the auditions, I bet we’ll have a lot of screen time together. I’m so excited.” “Yes, it would certainly be great if things worked out so nicely…” Karin looked at Suzune’s awkward smile curiously. “What’s the matter? You don’t feel confident about it?” “Mm, I wouldn’t say that exactly, but…” As Suzune racked her brain for the best way to put it, the car took a bit of a hard turn, and Karin’s upper arm bumped lightly against Suzune’s. Instead of pulling away immediately as Suzune expected, Karin kept leaning against Suzune. Wh-wh-wh-what’s happening? It seemed rude for Suzune to be the one to pull away, as though rejecting Karin. And since she certainly had no problem with the contact, she didn’t move. Even through the fabric of their clothes, she could feel Karin’s body temperature, her slight warmth. “Since my character is buddies with yours, maybe we could do a radio show together if we both get the parts. Wouldn’t that be wonderful? Anime radio shows seem like a lot of fun.” Uh-oh. Suzune didn’t dare turn her head. If she did, she would see her oshi’s face practically right in front of her own. For that matter, what if Suzune was sweaty? Or smelly? She didn’t think she was sweating, but now that she’d started worrying about it, she was starting to feel strangely hot. What should she do? “Y-you’ve done radio shows before, right…?” “Yes, DIAGONAL had a show with different members every week.” Suzune knew this, too, of course. It was usually a two-person radio show, rotating between combinations of the five members. She remembered noticing Karin’s vocal quality and control stood head and shoulders above the rest. “It doesn’t feel like I did it that often, since I only appeared on it about once a month. So I’d really like to try doing an anime radio show with you, Sengu-san.” Suzune stole a glance at Karin’s face in profile. Facing straight ahead, Karin was truly beautiful, even this close. Her cheeks looked smooth and free of pores, although she probably had some makeup on to help with that. So this is what it means to have “skin like porcelain,” Suzune thought absently. Karin’s flawless face was definitely part of why Suzune was such a big fan. This was such a feast for the eyes, it was almost too sumptuous to bear. She felt like her heart might get sick from all the indulgence. An unfamiliar scent wafted from Karin’s hair. Conditioner, maybe? Or was she wearing perfume on the nape of her neck? The faintly spicy undertones summoned up an image of camels crossing the desert. Not that it literally smelled like camels, of course. That would be gross. Suzune mentally shook herself, trying to chase off these increasingly irrelevant thoughts and get back to…what was it again? A radio show. Right. Certainly, if they both passed their auditions, the dream Karin described could easily become reality. Every season, most new anime also produced a radio show with their cast members, mostly for promotional purposes. The boy Karin was auditioning for was an electronic lifeform (whatever that was supposed to mean) who rescued the heroine Suzune was auditioning to play. He was an important character who appeared every few episodes. Surely that would at least justify a guest appearance on a radio show, if not necessarily a regular role. “Y-yes, that would be fun, wouldn’t it?” Suzune managed to give a measured reply in spite of the delusional scenarios her mind was producing. The car turned again, shifting Karin’s body back to the other side. She didn’t move back toward Suzune. Suzune couldn’t help feel like her response had displeased Karin, even though she knew that probably wasn’t the case. Still, she felt a little disappointed, especially as the warmth faded from her arm. “You have reached your destination.” Just then, an announcement came from the navigation system, rescuing Suzune from her own thoughts. The voice sounded faintly familiar. Since voice actresses sometimes did jobs like these, it could very well be someone she knew. Normally that might get her all excited or embarrassed but not today. The taxi pulled up next to the guard rail and stopped, and Suzune checked the fare. “With card, please,” she said. “And could I have a receipt?” “Oh, wait, let me help, too…” As Karin moved to produce her wallet, Suzune stopped her. “Don’t worry about it. This way is faster anyway.” It would probably be a long process to split the transaction and get two receipts. “I can pay on the way home, then.” With that, Karin tucked her wallet back into her quilted bag. Apparently, she’d already decided that they were going back together, too. Not that Suzune was complaining, naturally. Suzune paid the fare, got a receipt, and the two of them exited the taxi. Outside, the breeze was a bit cooler than before. In the middle of a quiet residential area, the studio looked like it could easily be just another home. Suzune and Karin walked inside. “Good moooornig!” “Okay, that should do it. Good work.” “Thank you very much.” As she responded to the voice from the control booth, Suzune gathered her things and left the recording booth. Immediately, a sigh escaped her lips. Even after all this time, auditions were still nerve-wracking. She never got used to them. There was no telling what directions you might be given on the spot, and if you didn’t have the experience and instincts to react accordingly, it was all over. “Sengu-san! Here you go.” Karin trotted up to her and handed her a bottle of water. “Thank you.” Just as Suzune took the bottle, a voice from within the recording booth played over a speaker. “We will now begin auditions for Kadoa Brook. Number one, please come in.” Karin glanced at Kuruma, the manager. Two Earpo talents had been chosen for the studio auditions for Kadoa Brook. “You go first, Shotsuki-san.” “Okay!” Her voice was brimming with eagerness. Frankly, the eyes of the people watching Karin stride proudly into the booth weren’t exactly filled with warmth. But everyone seemed interested, at least, because they all turned to watch the monitor on the wall of the waiting room. The monitor was set up to relay sounds from within the recording booth. It didn’t include the control booth, since they probably had conversations they wouldn’t want the actors to hear. “I’m Karin Shotsuki from Earpo. Thank you for having me!” Karin spoke clearly and ducked her head in greeting. “All right, please begin.” Even though this was just what Karin was hearing in the booth coming through the monitor, not Suzune’s own audition, she automatically straightened up. The anime director, sound director, producer, and the creator and editor of the original work were all in the control room. They didn’t crack a smile, not even in front of a former idol. The cue light in the recording booth blinked on. “…‘How did you link up with me like that, huh?’” Karin’s first audition had begun. At the sound of her voice, which was almost more convincing than that of an actual young boy, a stir ran through the waiting room. I know, right? Isn’t she amazing? Inwardly, Suzune was nodding smugly. Kuruma must have heard the sample already; she didn’t seem surprised. But the others in the room couldn’t have heard it before, even if they were curious about Karin. Her acting prowess was impressive, and she understood the character just as well as Suzune understood hers. But for some reason… “Sorry, could we get that line again with a different read?” The request came from the sound director. “Ah, sure.” Karin was clearly confused for a moment. Suzune was, too. But it wasn’t that unusual for an actor’s interpretation to differ from that of a director. Karin quickly changed gears and began again. “…‘How did you link up with me like that, huh?’” Since you couldn’t change the line itself, you had to change other things to give a different interpretation of the character: the pitch of your voice, the speed of your delivery, your volume, the feelings behind the words, and so on. Karin’s acting this time was excellent, too. Even with a different read of the line, her voice still sounded exactly like that of a young boy. But still…it was the strangest thing. Suzune felt something amiss, although she couldn’t quite put her finger on it. A certain roughness to the read that she didn’t know how to put into words. “‘Yeah, I’ve got this.’” “Great, thank you. Just a moment, please.” There was another long silence. The directors and the others in the control booth were talking about something. Though about what, no one in the waiting room had any way of knowing. And neither did Karin in the recording booth. Times like these were truly stomachache-inducing. It didn’t necessarily mean you’d failed yet, but you couldn’t help wondering what they were saying about you on the other side. More than likely, you would never find out, not even after the fact. A few minutes later, the sound director spoke into the talkback mic. “…All right, that should do it. Thanks for coming in.” “Thank you very much!” Karin responded as brightly as ever, but the confidence was gone from her voice. When she emerged from the recording booth, she headed straight for Suzune. Behind her, the other Earpo candidate entered the booth. “Good work,” Suzune said. Karin’s shoulders slumped. “That was so stressful…” She let out a sigh, loosening her grip on the creased script. “…Yuu Aoyama, from Earpo. Thank you very much.” Hearing the fresh voice from the monitor, Karin turned around to watch. Suzune raised her head and focused on it as well. She was hoping that this other voice actress’s performance might explain the odd roughness she felt from Karin’s. In the end, though, all she knew was that this girl’s acting somehow sounded more like the anime voice acting she was used to hearing. “Aaargh, I was so nervous!” In a private room at a pub, Karin took a long drink from a stein of draft beer, then set it down on the table with a heavy thud. “Were you?” Suzune smiled as she sprinkled some salt on the ginkgo nuts set out as an appetizer. Karin hadn’t looked even remotely nervous, with that bold attitude of hers. “I was, I swear. I’m just used to hiding it well and putting on a brave face.” She licked away the foam forming a moustache above her lips. Suzune had an umeshu on the rocks, as usual. At this particular place, it was made with a sake base, giving it an unusual flavor. Normally plum brandy was made with a shochu base. The sake version seemed smoother, though it might just be that it was made with less sugar than usual. At any rate, they ordered a few of the chef’s recommended dishes, and each of them requested their own preferred dish as well. Suzune ordered fried oysters, which had just come into season, while Karin requested karaage. After the audition, the plan was to report to Miama-san and make their way back. However, after speaking with Kuruma, leaving the studio, and catching a taxi, Karin had said she didn’t want to go straight home. So they’d gone to one of Suzune’s favorite izakaya. While it was a little early for dinner, that meant they were able to get the biggest room to themselves. Glancing at her phone, Suzune saw a message from Miama: If you can, please take Karin out for a meal and make sure she’s doing okay! I promise I’ll reimburse you later! They hadn’t planned on parting ways immediately anyway, so this was a perfect opportunity. Now they could drink on the company’s dime. What a luxury! Maybe I’ll order something fancy for a change. “But I don’t know… I had a pretty good feeling about it.” Karin had moved on from beer to a lemon highball and was now swaying very slightly as she spoke. “Did you?” “I think so. Why? Didn’t you, Sengu-san?” “Hmm… I’m not sure.” Suzune thought back on all her past auditions. “I think I always have a good feeling, and at the same time, I never do.” “What does that even mean…?” Karin laughed shrilly. “Maybe it’s because this was your first audition, Shotsuki-san. When you’ve been doing this as long as I have, it’s perfectly common to think you nailed an audition and not get the role, or to think you bombed only to land the role after all. So I do my best not to be too optimistic or pessimistic about it.” “Can you really control that?” “I try, at least. But it’s not like I don’t get excited or disappointed anyway.” “Huh…” Karin took another long drink of her highball. Still, Suzune did think there was a decent chance that Karin had passed the audition. Her young boy voice was practically unparalleled, and she’d taken direction well, too. Of course, the decision was ultimately up to production. But considering Karin’s name recognition and other factors, it wouldn’t be surprising if she got the role. “I need to use the bathroom… Be right baaack!” Once they’d had a fair amount of food and drink, Karin got up from her cushion at the low table with a giggle. She seemed to be a bit tipsy again; her footsteps were unsteady, and there was a mischievous shade to her smile. Left alone in the private room, Suzune took a deep, long breath. Aaah, I can hardly stand it… Even now that they’d had meals or tea together several times already, it still felt new and exhilarating every time. It wasn’t just the meal that felt like a luxury. She almost pitied her past self, who had bought CDs to get handshake tickets worth mere seconds of her oshi’s time. But she had to keep this enjoyment a secret. At this point, it was far too late to confess she was a fan of Karin’s. If she did, it would seem like she’d tricked Karin somehow. At least, that was how it felt to Suzune now that she’d seen so much of Karin’s real self, as opposed to the woman’s idol persona. Sometimes Suzune wondered if she should have just come out with it at the start, but if she’d done that, they might not have gotten as close as they were now. Watching Karin up close like this, Suzune had noticed that Karin still acted differently around her fans. Even in the industry, there were people who said they followed her as an idol—and when they did, Karin always switched modes. While voice actors always treated their fans with respect, just like any working adult would deal with customers, they were still always more or less their real selves. Suzune didn’t know many people who acted completely differently when they were on stage together at an event or the like, versus when they met outside of work. It wasn’t that Karin’s approach was wrong. If anything, Suzune was impressed at what a professional she was. It really drove home how carefully polished her idol persona as Karin Shotsuki of DIAGONAL had been. And since Suzune loved that side of her just as much, her current position was like getting to have her cake and eat it, too. It was just a bit of a shame that she couldn’t tell Karin herself exactly how wonderful she was. But that would probably just make her uncomfortable anyway. “I’m baaaack!” Karin’s bouncy voice heralded her return. Instead of heading back to her seat on the other side of the table, for some reason, she sat down diagonally to Suzune’s side. She even moved her drink and chopsticks. “Tee-hee…” She was beaming, dazzlingly bright. And so close all of a sudden. Close enough that Suzune could probably reach out and touch her…which made her a little nervous. “S-so, Shotsuki-san—” Suzune tried to introduce a new topic to distract herself somehow. “Karin.” Karin interrupted suddenly by saying her own name. “Pardon?” “You can just call me Karin. I’m younger and all, you know? In fact, I would prefer if you called me that. If you keep using my last name, it feels like we’re still not very close friends, and that makes me sad. All the close friend groups at Earpo call each other by their first names or even nicknames, don’t they?” “I suppose so, but…” “I mean, if you don’t think you and I are close like that, then I’ll drop it…” “No, of course I do!” Suzune blurted. Much louder than she intended. But now what was she supposed to do? Suzune still thought of the idol version of her colleague as “Karin-sama,” but she couldn’t very well call her that out loud. Still, calling her by her first name alone was just too much. “Um… Can I at least use -chan?” “Absolutely.” Karin grinned, as if to say I dare you. “Go ahead, try it.” “What?!” “Come on, hurryyy.” Was she teasing Suzune? If so, that was fine, since it was utterly adorable. “K-Karin-chan…?” “Yes?” “Karin-chan.” “Yes!” Karin smiled broadly. At this close a distance, her mischievous grin was practically lethal. Suzune’s heart was about to stop. Or possibly explode. “Can I call you by your first name, too, then?” “Um…sure?” “All right…Suzune?” “Y-yes?” “Yay! Now we’re even closer friends. I’m sooo happy.” As Karin smiled, there was no hint she was saying it just for show. She seemed sincerely happy to be close with Suzune. Even if that was just a fangirlish delusion, Suzune didn’t care. It was an honor either way. “Hey, Suzune.” Karin beckoned, flapping her hand. “Come closer.” “What?” Suzune slid over obediently, though she had no idea what for. Then Karin moved closer, too, until they were almost touching at the corner of the table—in fact, their upper arms actually did touch. Huh?! WHA?! Suzune’s breath hitched. When this had happened in the taxi, it was clearly just happenstance from the car taking a sharp turn, but there was no such excuse this time. It was fully intentional. Maybe Karin was one of those girls who didn’t worry much about personal space? Suzune was thrilled, of course, but she also stiffened with surprise.
Chapter 7
27 min read