Chapter 4
LUCIANUS’S FEVER DIDN’T GO DOWN THE FOLLOWING day, and they had to stay another night. On the evening of their second day, while Lucianus was dozing off in bed, Dominatus returned to the room, looking grim.
“I’ve got a problem, and I’d like to hear your opinion,” Dominatus started. He began to report all the information that he’d gathered in the dining area. “The heavy rains have caused a massive landslide, closing off our route to the north. We won’t be able to use that road for quite a while.”
“Are there any other paths?” Lucianus asked.
“We can do a long detour and take the route by the ocean. Our other option is to go through Mount Toquila.” Dominatus frowned, clearly against both options.
“The route by the ocean will lengthen our trip considerably, won’t it?”
“Yeah, by at least two weeks. If we go through the mountain, our overall journey will actually be cut down.”
“Then let’s go through the mountain.”
Lucianus had only heard of Mount Toquila, but he’d been told that the mountain wasn’t too tall. The sooner they could make it to D’Aleppo, the better.
“If we start climbing early in the morning, we should be on the other side by sundown, no?” Lucianus asked.
“If all goes well, yes,” Dominatus replied. “The guests in the dining area knew quite a bit about Mount Toquila, and they told me all about it. There’s a bit of snowfall currently, but not too much. If the weather is good, it shouldn’t be a problem, but if we’re caught in a blizzard, it will take much longer than a day to cross.”
Even so, Lucianus insisted on crossing the mountain. He felt like Dominatus had wanted to do so, but was only hesitant to suggest it because the noble was sick. Lucianus didn’t want the gladiator to worry about such a thing.
“All right. Then we’ll head that way,” Dominatus said. “Let’s cross the mountain on foot to reach the town.” He stood up and ended the conversation. “I’ll go get you your dinner.”
“Dominatus,” Lucianus called out.
He stopped and turned back. “Yeah?”
“I’d like to apologize to you.”
Dominatus furrowed his brows. “Why?”
“I feel bad. It wasn’t supposed to be like this. I was naïve, and I feel pathetic for taking so long to realize my misunderstandings.”
Only after they embarked on this journey did Lucianus realize how frail and foolish he was. A child may know that fire is hot, but they won’t understand just how dangerous and hot it truly is until they burn themselves. Lucianus was experiencing something similar as he analyzed himself. Dominatus was silent, and Lucianus feared that he hadn’t explained himself well enough.
“I thought I knew myself better than anyone else,” he continued. “But I was horribly wrong. I’m frail and weak, and I wanted to apologize to you from the bottom of my heart.”
“Enough. Everyone has misunderstandings,” Dominatus replied with a scowl.
Why is he angry at me even though I’m apologizing? Did he not like the way I apologized?
Lucianus was at his wits’ end. “Are you angry?” he asked.
“No. I’m just disappointed in you,” Dominatus replied.
It was like a slap in the face. Lucianus forgot to breathe for a moment; he’d never felt such despair. He had offered his heartfelt apology, but all he received was rebuke. He’d expected Dominatus to laugh it off and forgive him, but perhaps Lucianus’s way of thinking had been naïve as well. Or is this just Dominatus’s true form? If so, then I should be the one who’s disappointed in him. I thought you were more forgiving, but here you are, reproaching a man who’s apologizing. You’re so narrow-minded. Besides, you’re always…
Lucianus gasped. Before he knew it, he was attacking his partner again. He shook his head, blaming himself for being unable to suppress these emotions that reflexively welled up inside of him. I must maintain my composure. He probably has his fair share of complaints with me. No doubt he decided to voice them now because Lucianus seemed more receptive to harsh criticism. If I truly feel remorse, I shouldn’t attack him but accept these words instead.
After a while, Dominatus returned with dinner. Lucianus smiled and offered his thanks for the food, hoping to convey that he wasn’t bothered by the gladiator’s earlier words.
“I’ll be eating downstairs,” Dominatus said.
With that, he promptly left. He clearly avoided Lucianus’s gaze. Dominatus must’ve been furious. Lucianus was completely heartbroken, but he thought that he deserved it all. He could only endure Dominatus’s cold attitude until that anger faded.