I looked down and realized the lower half of my body was transparent.
Aqua continued to sob. Eris held her and patted her head, then said to me, “You’ve done well, Kazuma. The others were able to defeat the Demon King’s bodyguards, and then they simply waited and prayed for your success. And the instant you defeated the Demon King, Aqua showed up here. That was how everyone knew you’d succeeded.”
That brought me a rush of relief.
“Now, with the battle over, they’re tending to their wounds…although with my senior goddess disappearing so suddenly, it’s been somewhat chaotic…”
Oh yeah… This meant I wouldn’t have the chance to tell everyone I’d died down in that dungeon. Shoot. What if Megumin and Darkness went on a journey to try to find me? For that matter, what if everyone I knew in Axel joined them? This could turn into a whole thing.
✦ ✦ ✦
✦ ✦ ✦
Uh… Everyone would want to look for me, right? It wasn’t just, you know, wishful thinking on my part, was it?
Shoot! It really sucked to be torn away from everyone else without getting to say a word to them. Still, I was glad I was just a spirit here, without a proper body. Otherwise, I might have been crying as sloppily as Aqua.
✦ ✦ ✦
I guess maybe my thoughts showed on my face, because Eris gave me a sweet smile.
✦ ✦ ✦
“Ahem. Kazuma Satou. As you died in the process of defeating the Demon King…I’ve been instructed to offer you something else, above and beyond the usual postmortem options.”
✦ ✦ ✦
Aqua looked up suddenly at that.
Eris held up a finger, smiling pleasantly. “First: You can choose to live a life of ease in Heaven, as already described to you.” She held up another finger. “Second: You can be given a physical body and return to Japan. In that case, you would be provided with an endless supply of money for the duration of your life, an ideal spouse, and— H-hey, Aqua! Y-you’re very close…! Your face is very close to mine! Please don’t get so excited!”
Aqua rubbed her tears away vigorously and listened intently to what Eris was saying. Eris, meanwhile, cleared her throat and continued.
✦ ✦ ✦
“And the third option: You can be given a physical body and return once more to this world.”
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Aqua’s face absolutely lit up.
✦ ✦ ✦
…Geez, what was she looking so happy for? What a jerk, acting like she already knew what I would pick.
Okay, so maybe it was a little soon to be going to Heaven still. But that thing about going back to Japan, that was tempting. Eris had said I would have enough money to spend the rest of my days living it up. And what was that about an ideal spouse? She seemed to mean that if I went to Japan, I could spend my entire life with no constraints, no work, no ridiculous problems, an adorable wife…
“So. What would you like to do?” Eris asked me with a little smile.
How could I even hesitate about that question now? How I had suffered in that other world! Outrageous creatures, half-baked inhabitants. A bonkers place in which decent, sensible people weren’t just rare, they were practically nonexistent.
If I went back there, I was pretty much guaranteed to continue suffering. It hardly took a moment’s thought to know that. Without a second’s hesitation, I replied:
✦ ✦ ✦
“Send me back. Back to that awful, stupid world that I hate.”
✦ ✦ ✦
Eris grinned.
“Okay! Now that that’s decided, we’ve got to get back to everyone posthaste! Eris, use that power of yours to do that thing and send us back to the Demon King’s castle! I’m sure everyone is worried about me, what with how I disappeared so suddenly. We’ve got to get back right away!”
Eris, though, knit her brow. “Um, Aqua… I don’t quite know how to tell you this, but now that you’ve come back safely to the heavenly realm…well, we need you to run things for Japan. I don’t think you can afford to play around in this world anymore…”
Aqua grabbed Eris by the shoulders. She shook her head hard, her eyes filling with tears again.
“I’m s-sorry, Aqua, but I can’t help you, even if you cry at me…! Oh! Stop that, please! Please stop trying to pull my pads out! Look, I’m sorry, but even that won’t get you anywhere!”
I watched them struggle for a moment, then said, “Hey, you two. Uh, I’ve got a question.” I scratched my cheek with a semitranslucent finger. “I think I remember being told that if I beat the Demon King, I could have any one wish I wanted, right?” (I was really directing the question at my precious, precious Eris.)
That stopped the two of them in mid-scuffle.
“Eris,” Aqua whispered, “what do we do? I figured there was no way he’d ever defeat the Demon King, so I told him he could have one wish, just to give him a little push. I know his kind. He might ask to become a god or say, I want the entire universe or something…”
“G-gosh,” Eris whispered back. “I don’t know if even Kazuma would… But I could imagine him asking to spend the rest of his life surrounded by a harem consisting of every imaginable type of woman…”
Did they think I couldn’t hear them? And anyway, what was going on here? Had it been a BS offer all along? You really couldn’t trust these deities!
A harem with every imaginable type of woman was a tempting idea, but I already knew what I wanted.
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“I want my cheat. The one I didn’t get when I came to this world the first time.”
✦ ✦ ✦
Eris giggled at that. “That wish, we can grant. You’re right. The Demon King may be defeated, but there are still plenty of dangerous foes in this world. You’ll need a boon of your own…” She was grinning mischievously. I suspected she already knew what “cheat” I was going to ask for.
“Oh…” Aqua reached out toward me anxiously but then drew back. I guess after everything she’d put me through, even she couldn’t bring herself to actually ask me to take her instead of some OP gimmick. Did that mean she realized how much trouble she’d caused? Maybe she’d matured more than I’d realized.
“What ability do you wish for, then? Or what powerful item? Perhaps incredible strength? Or inexhaustible intelligence?” Eris listed the options, sounding more and more excited. Beside her, Aqua was unusually quiet and downcast. It was funny; she normally didn’t hesitate to demand exactly what she wanted. If she’d always acted this demure, my life would have been a lot easier.
To Eris, I said: