As I looked around, I noticed something strange.
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At the end of a dead-end hallway was a piece of paper that said Don’t Push. It hung right by some kind of magic circle, and there was a button beside it.
What was going on? If this was a trap, it was a little too obvious. I activated my Detect Trap skill just to be sure, and lo and behold, the skill alerted me that yes, it was a trap. That didn’t tell me exactly what kind of trap it was, however. I happened to possess the Disarm Trap ability, but I’d never used it since Chris had taught it to me on my very first dungeon dive, so I wasn’t confident I could make it work.
But, hey. If it was a trap, all I had to do was not touch it.
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That was when a light bulb flickered to life in my brain.
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Was it really a trap? I mean, what kind of idiot would make it so blatantly obvious?
So was it some kind of camouflage, then, to hide something? Maybe it was a teleporter that took you straight to the Demon King’s chamber. Having a teleporter right by the gate would be a great plan just in case the king ever needed to make a hasty escape…
The Detect Trap skill activated, meaning there was definitely a real trap at work here. But maybe that only meant they’d set another, very small trap on it. Something to keep the teleporter hidden. After all, it wasn’t only deadly traps that set off the detection ability. Like, maybe you went through the teleporter and a blackboard eraser immediately fell on your head. That would set off the Detect Trap skill.
The Demon King might be a demon, but he was also a king. Of course he would have an escape route ready in a pinch. And anyway, it wasn’t like he spent every minute cooped up in this castle. Think about what a pain it would be to work your way through this maze, all the way to the top floor, every time you came home and just wanted to kick back in your own room. No, this was definitely a secret passageway (or teleporter or whatever).
The Demon King was supposed to be getting up there in years, right? I could say with confidence that this was no trap!
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“Heh! You might fool those other idiots, but I know what I’m really seeing here…”
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With that, I stepped into the magic circle and pressed the button that the paper said not to press.
Oh, crap. I’d been so pumped up about my own discovery that I’d forgotten I probably should’ve called to the others first.
Oh well. If my guess was right, it wouldn’t matter anyway. Once I was sure where this thing went, I would just pop right back…!
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In the blink of an eye, the scenery around me changed. Now I was in a small, dark, funny-smelling room. There was hardly any light in there; it felt like a ghost might pop out at any moment. And I thought I could hear a woman weeping nearby…!
“Shoot! It was a trap!” I exclaimed.
“Waaaaahhh!” My exclamation was met with a very familiar yell from a corner of the dim chamber.
Hold on…
“Aqua?”
“Wha…? Kazuma…?”
There in the corner of the room, with tears in her eyes, hugging her knees, and making herself as small as possible, was Aqua. For a second, she looked bewildered, but then her face screwed up, and she said, “K-Kazuma! Waaaahhh! Kazuma, Kazuma, oh, Kazuma!” She jumped up, obviously deeply moved. She must have been frightened just about out of her skull here, because she flung herself at my chest, tears and all.
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With my inborn Luck and my Auto-evade skill, I neatly dodged Aqua’s would-be hug.
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“Waaaahhh! Bwaaahhh! Aaahhhhhh!”
“I’m sorry, okay?! It’s not my fault! That skill has a chance of activating on its own! Come on—I said I was sorry, so stop crying!”
Thanks to my dodge, Aqua had gone headfirst into the wall, and she still hadn’t stopped bawling about it. She got hurt way worse than this most of the time, so why was she crying now?
Well… To be fair, I guess if the same thing happened to me, I would cry, too.
“Hey, pipe down already. This is the Demon King’s castle! If you cry too loud, we’ll end up with his minions all over us!”
“But! But! I finally see you again, Kazuma, and you… You…!”
Oh, for God’s sake!
“Here, show me where you got hurt. I’ll fix it up. Heal!” I put my hand to the bump on Aqua’s head and cast my healing magic. It must have worked, because she instantly stopped crying. In fact, her eyes were open wide…
“Y-you healed me… Kazuma, you used Heal…! Ah… Ahhhh…! Waaaaah! You stupid NEET! You’ve finally come to steal my very identity, haven’t you?! It wasn’t enough for you to make fun of me and call me the goddess of toilets; now you want to take away my one defining trait?! Fine, come at me, you thieving NEET! It turns out my real enemy wasn’t the Demon King at all—it was you! Well, let’s settle this right now!”
“Give it a rest!” I exclaimed. Aqua had her dukes up, but I was ready to give her a piece of my mind. “While you were having a nice little walk, I was working my ass off! You left your dumb little letter just begging us to come after you, and then you disappeared—I’ve never known a woman who caused as much trouble as you!”
“Dumb little letter? A woman who causes trouble? Ooh, you’re angling for some real divine punishment, mister…! You’re going to regret provoking the wrath of the goddess of water! I’ll punish you by causing the shower to stop working when and only when you’re trying to wash your hair!”
“You always come up with the stupidest punishments! That’s why— Hey, hold on!” When I heard footsteps in the distance, I activated a certain skill.
“I swear I heard a woman’s voice.”
“You’re making that up. This is the upper level. The intruders are supposed to be bumbling around on the first floor, remember?”
A conversation accompanied the footsteps, and by using the Eavesdrop skill (which belonged to a unique class called the Darkstalker), I could hear what they were saying. The person who’d taught me the skill had informed me (really, boasted to me) that despite the name “-stalker,” the class was basically an assassin, which, I was assured, was much cooler.
Aqua, who had no idea that I’d learned this skill, said, “What’s going on? What’s with the weird look all of a sudden? Are you saying you want to have a face-making contest with me? I may be a dedicated performer, but I admit I’m hesitant to do anything that would impugn my image as a beautiful goddess…”
“Nobody’s suggesting a stupid contest like that! And I’m not making a weird face; I’m trying to be serious! A couple of the Demon King’s lackeys are coming this way! C’mon—we’ve gotta hide!”
In a moderate panic, Aqua and I looked for somewhere to conceal ourselves in the dark room.
“That reminds me. What are you even doing here? Did you press that button, too?” I said.
“Of course I did! Who wouldn’t want to press a button that says Don’t Push? It was impossible to resist such a devious trap! Which means I’m sure that enchanted-sword guy and everyone else will be right behind us.”
“You’re right. It’s frightening how that trap plays on human psychology. I’m sure the others will fall for it the same way we did. But that means we just have to buy time until they get here… We just need someplace to…hide… Ooh!”