That’s the downside to picking on people who seem weak at a glance: You end up looking really pathetic if you somehow lose to them!
✦ ✦ ✦
I really, really didn’t want to go home like this, to be honest, but in the end, I found myself making my way back to the house in the highlands anyway.
“Hmm? You look like an elderly cedar,” Sandra observed, kicking things off by judging me by plant standards. Cedars did live for quite a long time, so it was a fair enough comparison.
“Oh, are you…my teacher’s grandmother? You look just like her,” said Halkara, who’d misunderstood what was going on at a basic level.
“Nah, you’ve got it all wrong. That’s my Big Sis herself! Look at her soul, see? It’s the same as ever,” said Rosalie. In her eyes, apparently, I’d barely changed at all.
Wait, does that mean she looks at my soul instead of my body sometimes? I’m not sure I’m totally comfortable with that!
“You’ve sort of aged, huh, Mistress? I wanna see how I measure up to an old version of you now!” said Flatorte.
“I know you didn’t mean it in a bad way, Flatorte, but calling me ‘old’ is banned,” I replied. It’s not that I’m actually old! My age has nothing to do with this!
✦ ✦ ✦
Three days had passed since my sudden transformation. Over the course of that time, a few other changes had occurred (or technically speaking, I noticed a few other consequences of the one big change, I guess).
“I have less of an appetite now. I still get hungry, but it takes less food to make me full, and I don’t have a taste for meat or fried foods anymore,” I muttered as I sat in the dining room one morning after breakfast. My body, apparently, was telling me I didn’t need all that many calories these days.
“Are you all right, Lady Azusa? You’ll wither away if you don’t eat more meat, you know?” said Laika, who was sitting across from me. The two of us had been chatting, and she looked rather concerned about my well-being.
“I think we can chalk that up to the spell for sure,” I said. “Seems like my metabolism’s slower now, and it just doesn’t feel like my body wants me eating very much.”
“The fact that you simply haven’t been exercising recently may also play a factor,” Laika noted. “You spent the bulk of yesterday sitting in the dining room.”
“Yeah, you might have a point…”
I just couldn’t work up the willpower to do anything physical. It wasn’t that I actively wanted to shut myself up inside—I just found myself wanting to be as economical with my movements as possible.
“Well, if anything feels unusual, please let me know right away.”
“I don’t think we need to worry that much, honestly. We know I’ve got just as strong of an offense as ever, thanks to Beelzebub, and I’m not in pain or anything. I’m not even sick! I’m as healthy as ever, basically, so I’ll be just fine.”
I did, however, agree that just sitting still all the time was bad for me, so I decided to stand up…
“Hruumph!”
…and, the moment I did so, I was hit with a shocking revelation. I’d just let out a sort of strained grunt as I stood up from a chair!
✦ ✦ ✦
That’s something a young person would never, ever do!
✦ ✦ ✦
“Are you truly certain your body isn’t failing you, Lady Azusa…?”
“It’s fine! Don’t worry about it! Actually, just forget you heard that, please!”
I didn’t exactly think of myself as a teenager anymore, considering I had daughters and all, but I certainly didn’t think of myself as elderly, either. As such, this transformation had me pretty on edge.
I’ll have to make sure I don’t start making even louder, more conspicuously elderly grunts in the future.
“All right, I think it’s my turn to make lunch today! Wonder what I should make?” I said.
“Are you certain it’s a good idea for you to be using a kitchen knife right now, Lady Azusa?” asked Laika.
“Yeah, it should be fine. My reflexes are as good as ever, so I don’t think I’ll have any nasty accidents.”
I wouldn’t have been able to take Beelzebub on if that weren’t the case, presumably. If I’d been too slow to react in time and actually hit her, then all the power in the world wouldn’t have helped me in that battle. If I could land a hit on a demon like her, then I figured it was safe to assume my limbs were just as dexterous as ever. And, in the end, I was right—I managed to make a meal, no problem.
✦ ✦ ✦
Well, one slight problem: how that meal was received.
✦ ✦ ✦
“Our lunch is really brown today, isn’t it, Mommy?”
✦ ✦ ✦
Falfa pointed the issue out first.
“Huh? I know I didn’t serve a salad this time, but it’s not that bad, is it…?”
“This stewed daikon, the stewed mushrooms, and the stewed mountain vegetables are all brown. Also, the ratio of stewed foods is disproportionate,” said Shalsha.
I hadn’t realized until it was pointed out to me, but she was right. I really had put together a meal full of plain, simple dishes!
“Your cooking doesn’t have any impact today, Mistress. This is the sort of food a priest would make! It’s barely even worth eating…,” said Flatorte, joining in on the complaints.
I guess I didn’t make any crowd-pleasing dishes at all, yeah. I probably should’ve fried some chicken or something.
“Well, um… If anyone’s still hungry, I’ll give you some pocket money and you can go get yourself something to eat in Flatta,” I said, only to be hit by another revelation mere moments after the words left my mouth: Giving kids pocket money was a super old lady thing to do, too!
Oh, rats! I’m turning more and more elderly by the minute! I just have to hold out for a few more days, though. Just a few more days! If only they’d hurry up and pass by, already!
✦ ✦ ✦
“Oh, right! Hey, Halkara?”
“Yes, Madame Teacher? Did you need something?”
“Does Halkara Pharmaceuticals make any hard candies? I’ve been feeling the weirdest craving for them.”
The fact that old ladies stereotypically carried bags of candy around with them only struck me after I’d already asked the question. My current body really was impacting my state of mind…
“O-on second thought, never mind! I don’t need any after all!” I sputtered.
“Oh, really? We do make cough drops, for what it’s worth,” said Halkara.
I do kinda want some, but I refuse to succumb to temptation! “No, I’m fine! I’m going to go out for a quick stroll!”
I stepped outside…and Sandra followed along with me.
“Do you need something?” I asked. “If you’re planning on joining me, you should know I’m not going all the way to Flatta today.”
“That’s fine,” said Sandra. “I just know sometimes humans leave the house and never come home again. I’m worried that might happen to you if you go out alone, so I’ll be keeping watch.”
My whole family’s worried about me now!
The one silver lining to the situation was that I now knew for a fact as long as I kept living here with everyone, I’d be well taken care of in old age.