For lack of any other option, I decided to fill Laika in on what had happened. Seeing my old-lady transformation would probably shock her, so I sent Falfa ahead to explain the situation, then met up with her after she’d been adequately forewarned.
Laika took a moment to study my new appearance, then paused, seemingly not quite sure how to express herself. “Lady Azusa, you look…dignified,” she finally said.
Well, that sure was a tactful way of saying I look old now…
“No need to worry, though. You may look elderly, but you look like an elderly person who appears quite young for her age!”
“I know you’re trying to make me feel better, but it’s not working!”
I really am young! I’m three hundred years old, sure, but my body’s still just seventeen!
✦ ✦ ✦
We ended up making our way to Beelzebub’s house after that. I really didn’t want to see her like this, honestly, but it would have looked unnatural for us to suddenly head back home without warning, and there was always a slight chance Beelzebub would have some relevant information about how to fix this. My hand was forced.
“Haaa-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! I see the Witch of the Highlands has become the Witch of the Nursing Home!”
✦ ✦ ✦
And then she laughed her head off about it.
✦ ✦ ✦
“Well, that’s just plain rude!” Laika’s tactfulness was pretty conflicting in its own sort of way, but there’s nothing quite as irritating as just getting laughed at!
“T’would seem you have shrunk since I last saw you! A walking stick would suit this new look of yours,” said Beelzebub.
“Look, I just want to know if you can do anything to fix this, okay?” I asked. I was planning on asking everyone I met if they knew how to put me back to normal, actually. I had no interest in giving up and resigning myself to a week of old age!
“Nay, I do not. It’s only due to last a week, isn’t it? Just grin and bear it. Perhaps spending some time in that form shall lead you to sympathize more keenly with the plight of the elderly in the future. Consider it a learning experience.”
“It feels kinda weird to hear that from someone who’s technically way more elderly than I am.” All the ‘t’woulds’ and ‘shalls’ certainly aren’t helping with that, either.
“Well, I guess if I’m stuck like this, I should just go home. I feel pretty stiff, but it’s not like I can’t move at all,” I said. If I were to compare my body to a bicycle, then it felt like my gears were in desperate need of a good oiling without being broken in any particular way.
“Very well, then… Ah, no, wait. Wait just a moment!” Beelzebub exclaimed.
Oh, did she think of some way to fix me after all? Now that I think about it, I climbed up the World Tree to buy medicine that one time I got turned into a kid. Maybe they’d have something that could take care of this as well?
✦ ✦ ✦
“Seeing as we have this opportunity, shall we spar? I have a feeling I’ll be able to defeat you soundly in your current state.”
“Well, I guess I know where your priorities are now!”
✦ ✦ ✦
I feel like an idiot for hoping she’d help for even a second.
“Look—you realize if we did fight and I managed to win, people would start talking about how you’re so weak you got beat up by an old lady? Do you really think trying to take me on when I look like I’m old and sickly’s a great idea?”
“You didn’t let me finish,” said Beelzebub. “What I meant was, it would be better—and safer—for you to know how capable you are of defending yourself in your current state. Are you able to muster eighty percent of your usual might? Or perhaps only fifty percent? Better to learn now than in the midst of a crisis.”
“Oh. Okay, you might have a point there, actually.” Being way weaker than usual and not realizing it sounds like a recipe for disaster.
✦ ✦ ✦
And so, Beelzebub and I ended up going out into her house’s garden to have a match. We squared off against each other.
“Okay, then—come at me any time,” I said.
“…”
“I’m ready whenever you are!”
“…”
Beelzebub, for some reason, just wasn’t attacking.
“’Tis incredibly hard to attack you right now!” she finally exclaimed. “It feels like an act of senseless brutality!”
“Well, what do you want me to do about it?!” It’s not like I wanted to end up an old lady!
“My apologies, but you’ll have to be the one to take the offensive,” Beelzebub said. “At least then I can claim I’m just defending myself.”
“Well, I don’t want to move that much right now! Feels like I might throw out my back.”
If at all possible, I was really hoping to win the match without moving much at all.
“Hell’s bells, this is a nuisance! Fine—here I come!”
In the end, Beelzebub came charging straight at me. That’s exactly what I wanted, and I prepared to receive her charge without taking so much as a single step…because, honestly, I just really didn’t want to! I was more motivated than I’d ever been to end this fight while expending as little energy as possible. Not to be melodramatic or anything, but my spirit really felt like it was taking a back seat to my body this time!
Beelzebub closed in on me, and the moment she was close enough, I threw a punch at her forehead.
✦ ✦ ✦
“Fumnaaah!”
✦ ✦ ✦
I’m sure I could’ve thrown a much stronger punch if I’d stepped into the blow, really putting my weight behind it…but at that particular moment, not moving was a higher priority to me. Still, my punch landed exactly as I was hoping it would.
Oh, hey! Guess that’s all it takes to hit her after all!
And, the next thing I knew…
“Agh, that really hurt!”
…the force of my attack had sent Beelzebub flying.
“That was amazing, Mommy!”
“It appears your raw strength hasn’t been reduced in the least.”
Always nice to hear my daughters cheering me on… Though somehow, it feels more like my granddaughters are cheering for me this time.
I looked over at Laika. “So what did you think?” I asked her.
“Frankly speaking, Lady Azusa, I’m currently feeling an impulse to call you my venerable master rather than my teacher.”
Now that’s a weird perspective to take!
“It’s clear to me that even as your body has withered, your spirit remains as hearty and focused as ever! You are truly worthy of the title of master, Lady Azusa!”
“No thanks! You can keep it!” I never asked for it in the first place!
Around that time, Beelzebub made her way back to us from wherever I’d punched her to. She looked less than happy.
“What was that?! ‘Fumnaaah’?! At least have the decency to shout ‘hiyah,’ or something to that effect! That nonsensical war cry made me put my guard down! And you’re just as powerful as you’ve ever been!”
“Now that you mention it, my voice did sound kinda feeble there, huh…?”
Shouting when you exert yourself was just a natural human instinct, and apparently, even those shouts had been affected by the current state of my body.
“Well, I’m just glad to know I’m not any weaker than I used to be. Guess the spell wasn’t powerful enough to do quite that much damage,” I said.
If I was still capable enough to beat Beelzebub, then it seemed safe to assume I wouldn’t be in any danger just living out my day-to-day life.
“So it would seem,” said Beelzebub. “However…losing to you in that state has dealt a terrible, humiliating blow to my self-esteem…”
“You’re the one who decided to ask for a fight, so that’s all on you.”