The cyclops’s indefatigable spirit grew fatigued. Revival gave up the ghost. Sleeping Beauty cut circles around it, her halberd describing winding helices around the creature’s body. Every blow she landed only made her faster. The cyclops could do nothing but stand there, tears beading in its single beady eye, and get clobbered to a pulp.
“Hmm. I need to adjust her armor design in the arm area. The legs could also do with some touching-up for movability. Sleeping Beauty uses a lot of flowing, elegant movements for a brute-force barbarian character. She’s fast, too. She’s as quick on her feet to evade as she is to attack. So yup, her current loadout will work for now. Just gotta touch up the joints.”
Jiggle jiggle.
Her ever-shifting attacks would have turned a baton twirler green with envy. Her flexibility was unmatched, giving her incredible range. Her Premonition Skill lent her a god-like ability to dodge hits, and her countering was just vicious. And just like that, she defeated her first Cyclops! Yup, that final attack was the nail in its coffin.
“Nice job. You wanna head back up and have lunch? While we wait for the drop item to materialize, let’s check out the hidden room. Slimey’s already eaten. You just rest here, and I’ll pop on over to check out those treasure chests. It’ll be fine. There aren’t any monsters in the hidden room.”
“Not, tired. Will, go with you.”
Jiggle jiggle.
Jeez. The heat might have been turned up for the cyclops, but Sleeping Beauty hadn’t even broken a sweat.
“You’re still not ready for any big dungeons, but we should be fine on the lowest floors of smaller dungeons. Let’s get you a few more levels, equip you with better armor, and train your fighting skills a bit more. Your coordination…doesn’t matter, since everyone does their own thing regardless. Your battle tactics…also don’t matter, because no one listens to a thing I say. It’s first-come, first-served with this group.”
Honestly, between the two of us, my training was going to take longer than hers. Nothing less fun than endless Skill test runs… I needed to reoptimize and reconfigure everything again. What a pain.
“No traps or locks on this chest—as ever. I feel like I’ve never once used the Magic Key or the Trap Ring on the frontier. Let me ransack my memories… Nope, not once. Well, with that nice little trip down memory lane finished, let’s see what we got. “Sense-O-Feel Ring: Intelligence, Resistance, Dexterity +30%. Sensory Perception Amplification (large).”
For a moment there, I trembled with untold joy. Then I took a closer look, and a wave of despair rolled over me. I fell to my knees, curled into a ball, and sobbed to the familiar cadence of Slimey rubbing my back with an oozey appendage. Sleeping Beauty gave me a funny look before she, too, joined in the cheer-up fest.
“It totally looked like a sex appeal ring! I was so ready to accept it. I wanted it to be a sex appeal ring! I’ve trawled dungeons in the farthest corners of this realm, searched and searched for this object of my dreams, and thought I’d finally had it in my hands at last. I thought my quest—me, questing! This divine object had moved me to questing!—was complete! But no! It’s a Sense-O-Feel Ring. To add insult to injury, I can’t even chuck the wretched thing—it’s actually a good piece of equipment! Waaaaah!”
Pat pat pat.
I took a deep breath and forced myself to lift the ring in my shaking hands for a closer look. Yes, the Sensory Perception Amplification (large) Trait would do wonders for me. As much as it pained me to admit, keen senses were often the difference between life or death, and here I was struggling with my ability to control mine. I needed this ring.
“If only it didn’t have that stupid name… No, no, there’s nothing wrong with the name. It just…reminds me of the one who got away… Forgive me, I mistook you for something else… My poor, poor sex appeal… Waaaah!”
Today, I learned a valuable lesson. Oh yes, today I learned just how very cruel the universe could be. Stewing in my own despair, I slid the ring onto my finger. My Area Analyze and Presence Sensing Skills sharpened. Suddenly, I could sense at farther ranges and with greater detail. I think the boost even helped Jupiter Eye, as the ring compensated for some of the fine control Jupiter Eye usually demanded.
“Jupiter Eye is such a powerful Skill I can’t check if it’s actually working properly. My senses can’t keep up, y’know? But now I feel like my senses are stronger. Uh-oh. This bodes ominously for Sensitivity… Sleeping Beauty? Why did you just fist pump?! These Sensory Amplification Traits are dangerous things in the wrong hands… I might be wrong, as this theory is tested every night, but I’m pretty sure there’s no market demand for blissed-out, sex-broken teenage boys!”
My sense of magic was stronger now too. I used Heat and Lightning magic to heat up magi, then melted it together and spun it in a kind of centrifuge until it produced thin filaments I could manipulate. When I had enough ultrafine fibers, I spun them together into a mass not unlike a ball of cotton. And from there, the crafting was just beginning.
“With better senses, I now have tighter control over myself. With better control, I can challenge myself to reach new heights! Behold, the pinnacle of human technology and innovation: cotton candy! Enjoy? Yeah, it’s tastier than it looks. It’s not actual cotton, I promise. Stalker Girl swears by it.”
“Wow! So sweet! Soft! Melts in mouth! Thank you. I, love it.”
Wiggle wiggle.
Even Slimey, who only rated the taste a wiggle wiggle, was shocked at just how fluffy the cotton candy was. It was so airy, in fact, it lacked the usual sensation of biting into a bag of sugar. And that was just sad. No matter how much my control abilities improved, it didn’t matter if my senses couldn’t keep pace. Powerful senses were a lucky thing indeed—but I, personally, would’ve preferred powerful sex appeal.