I’ll be honest: I had no idea what was going on.
First the SOS Brigade suddenly found itself in a medieval European world, and some people might think this would count as an isekai, but it felt more like a budget RPG. Haruhi the Hero wasn’t one to follow designated paths, so she dragged us (her party) around at level one, skipping all the fetch quests that were meant to progress the story, and finally blew away the prince and princess we’d been hired to rescue along with the demon lord and his entire castle. As a result, our mission was deemed an abject failure, and as punishment we were flung into a new world—this one set in outer space. The change in setting was so dramatic it made my head spin.
And like always, I found myself wondering…
What was the point of all this?
What even was this world? Where were we, exactly?
Koizumi, always speculating, thought it might be some sort of game. Nagato, a fount of knowledge, suggested, “This is most likely a simulated space.” Asahina unsurprisingly didn’t seem particularly bothered by it and had convinced herself this was “a theme park attraction.” To my mind, Nagato’s idea felt the most on the money.
If someone had thrown us in to a half-assed world just to run through some simulation, then I was ready to nail them with an uppercut after getting a good a running start. At least clearing this mission might finally rectify things and send us back to normal life. Frankly, that was the only thing we could rely on at the moment.
Much like the RPG, this new world had mission parameters set in stone—and they again involved rescuing a kidnapped prince and princess. In other words, the only thing that had changed was the set dressing, exchanging medieval Europe for outer space, and the demon lord for space pirates. Likewise, we’d gone from being the legendary hero, warrior, bard, etc., to something more futuristic. Now we were members of the Ranging Galactic Observation Patrol, Haruhi Squad, an innately dubious title, but in accordance with our newfound jobs, we were crewing a spaceship.
I was sitting in the pilot’s seat with a rod in front of me that I could only assume was a flight stick.
The screen I was looking at was filled with stars that didn’t twinkle, making it crystal clear that I was very much in outer space. I’d dreamed about space odysseys as a little kid, but I never realized how easily dreams could come true.
Being sent to space with zero prep felt like an insult to the would-be astronauts who poured their blood, sweat, and tears into training.
That said, I had no clue if this was really outer space, and odds were high it was a dream by a different definition of the word, so I didn’t exactly gaze out at the stars with a sparkle in my eye. It wasn’t like I’d lost touch with my inner child or anything. I had simply accepted my fate, which made it hard to get overly excited.
“Kyon,” Haruhi said, smiling like a summer sun that banished the shadows. She slapped me on the back. “Let’s wipe out these space pirates and swipe their hostages! Full speed ahead! Mach speed!”
Looking back, it was impossible to avoid seeing the spaceship’s bridge (or CIC?)
This wasn’t especially large by spaceship standards; the control room itself was barely bigger than our clubroom. Haruhi was seated at the back, a level higher than I was, and there was a plate on the seat proclaiming her the captain.
She seemed to be having the time of her life, and her outfit was extremely colorful—with a shocking amount of skin on display. Let your eyes wander for even a second and you’d get a full reminder of what a good figure she had. Did she really not give that getup a second thought?
It was sort of a throwback to old-school sci-fi from overseas.
“Make a beeline to the space pirate den,” Haruhi said. “The rest’ll be easy! Just gotta kick in the boss’s door—”
She pulled a ray gun from the holster at her hip. It looked more like a toy than anything.
“—and pop off a few rounds with these bad boys. Then we grab all the loot they’ve got stashed and return it to the original owners! I bet they’ll be chuffed.”
Waving that ray gun around was fine and dandy as long as she didn’t accidentally pull the trigger. I don’t have the reflexes to dodge beams traveling at light speed.
“Don’t worry, I only shoot pirates.”
She jammed the gun back in her holster.
“Point is, Kyon, we’ve gotta find this lair! Is this ship even moving? The view hasn’t changed.”
Well, if the inexplicably analog speedometer was to be believed, we were traveling at maximum velocity. The unchanging view drives home how big space really is.
“That aside,” I said, shaking my head, “which way am I even supposed to be going? Where is this pirates’ lair?”
“Beats me!” Haruhi said. “Yuki, do you know?”
Suddenly in the line of fire, Nagato wordlessly tilted her head. She was seated to one side of the bridge, apparently in charge of the radar.
“…………”
Wearing a costume identical to Haruhi’s, Nagato began poking buttons on her console, choosing her words carefully.
“Beginning omnidirectional scan for hostiles. Gathering intel.”
“Make it snappy, please. I wanna wrap this job up and do some planet-side sightseeing!” Haruhi leaned back in the captain’s seat, then turned to face the opposite side of the craft. “Mikuru, can I get some tea?”
“Oh, of course.”
Asahina—wearing the same absurd getup—hopped to her feet and vanished through the automated doors to the rear, only to come back almost immediately with a tray bearing enough cups for all of us. I’d sort of expected it to come in tubes, but perhaps because this ship had artificial gravity, it was just normal teacups. I’d sure like to know how that worked.
“Here’s your tea. Um, the pack said it was green tea from the planet Dongara. Heh-heh… I took a sip, and it’s such an interesting flavor!”
She was delightedly passing out the cups, but Asahina was supposed to be our comms officer. Then again, tea officer seemed like a better fit and I found it comforting, so I let it be.
“Tea is always a delight,” Koizumi said, interrupting our moment of elegance. “But before we head to our destination, we should ascertain our current location. Outer space is rather vast.”
He was seated right next to me, but I preferred not to look his way. For the simple reason that he was wearing the same pilot suit I was, and seeing him in it raised grave concerns about why I was letting myself be seen in the outfit.