Eventually, I was the one who broke the grip of the ensuing silence.
“Okay, so what does that mean? Tsuruya and T teamed up to send us a trio of original compositions? A three-part novel with multiple narrative tricks embedded and a final request to guess the culprit’s name?”
“Not quite right,” Haruhi said, miming a pistol with her hand and aiming it at T. “Remember what club T actually belongs to. If someone’s gonna trap us in a mystery game, is Tsuruya really the most likely candidate?”
I could think of any number of organizations that stood against the SOS Brigade. But Nagato’s foes, Koizumi’s opposition, and Asahina’s enemies also seemed like they’d be unable to get to Tsuruya. The student council certainly stood no chance.
“Oh. The mystery research club?”
Haruhi shot me an approving grin, like a math teacher to a student who’d just written a particularly elegant proof on the board.
“Yup,” she said. “Same place that snuck a tall tale about the anatomical model into the reference data on the seven wonders. T, who exactly thought up that spooky mystery?”
“The club boss, of course,” T said, throwing her hands up in surrender. “Haru, they whipped that up on the spot the moment they heard you were interested in the idea of seven wonders.”
“And they were the secret director behind the dying message this time, too?”
T put her hands down but didn’t deny a thing. She took a sip of Asahina tea.
“All this time, I thought Tsuruya was behind this, and T was her accomplice! But it was the other way around! T was one of the ringleaders. It was the mystery research club that talked Tsuruya into helping their ruse. While pretending it was all her doing!”
“That explains it.” Koizumi nodded. “I thought the deductions involved were a little far-fetched. This mystery game is incomplete!”
“Well, if you’ve figured that out, no use hiding it,” T said, setting her mug down for another banzai. “I think there’s something you’re supposed to doff at times like this, but I’m afraid I don’t have one. I’ll have to bring a hat with me next time.”
She dropped one hand but kept the other raised.
“I do have a few corrections, if I may?”
“Go on, T. Best if we’re on the same page.”
“First up, Episode One is completely true. The picture I showed you earlier was taken then. Next, Episode Two is mostly true. There are a few embellishments mixed in. The festival we went to is actually pretty famous, so if we wrote it as is, it might have given away which country we were in. That’s how it ended up being a little on the weird side.”
T looked up, meeting Haruhi’s gaze.
“And just to be clear, Shouko really exists. So does my brother, and Takenao Nottobe. But as you correctly surmised, no assault took place. The two of them have known each other as long as Tsuruya and I have. The story itself might give you a bad impression of Takenao, but I’d like to make it very clear the real one isn’t like that. He doesn’t even use his business cards for a dumb joke or do any stand-up comedy routines about his name. Well, maybe if someone notices it and outright asks.”
“Okay,” said Koizumi. “So the fictional parts of Episode Three are…at least some of the conversation Shouko and Tsuruya have, everything about Takenao’s behavior, and everything after Tsuruya hears a scream. Correct?”
“I think that’s right,” T said. “And before you ask, the planning and development were all done by the president. Tsuruya and myself supplied ideas, but it was the mystery research club that put everything together. The boss personally came up with the outline for Episode Three, and then Tsuruya did a rewrite on it. Tsuruya wrote Episode Two, then the boss did a few edits. And we got permission from Shouko and Takenao to use their names.”
Who in the hell was this president? I didn’t need any more people bringing complications into my life.
“Well, I enjoyed it,” Haruhi said, heedless of my concerns. “But you were aware you were handing us something pretty far from polished? Why have us take a run at something unfinished?”
“This story is an embellished version of actual events. We’re thinking about using it as part of an attraction at the next culture festival. Assuming Tsuruya is available to help. The way you solved it and the flaws you pointed out have shown us several ways to improve on it. On behalf of the entire mystery club, I thank you for your assistance.”
So we were basically play-testing their mystery room. Crafty.
“It was Tsuruya’s suggestion that we try it on you, but this is partly your fault, Kyam.”
I had not been expecting this attack.
“Kyam, we based this whole concept on the I-novel you wrote for your club magazine. The president said we were honor bound to let you have the first shot at it.”
I just felt used.
“But just between you and me, the two of us were definitely hoping to pull the wool over your eyes.”
I could picture the smirks on their faces.
“Haru, lemme ask, what would you say is the biggest problem?”
“That’d be you. In other words, the identity of ‘the girl,’” Haruhi said, not hesitating at all. “An attraction that can’t be solved unless you’re sitting right there fails whether it’s finished or not. You’ve gotta fix that!”
“The actual wording of the challenge provides no way to ascertain ‘the girl’ in the first two episodes isn’t Shouko, but someone else entirely. We spent a lot of time thinking about how to work clues and hints into the text proper. After all, we wanted to hide the fact that she was me as much as possible. Thanks to you, I think we’ve seen the light at the end of the tunnel.”
T flipped the booklet over, writing something in English.
“I imagined Haru, Koizumi, or Nagato would find their way to the answer there. That said, Nagato! Why did you suspect something was up with my hairpin?”
“I was wondering that myself!” Haruhi said, vaulting out of her seat. She headed my way, hand out, palm up. The hairpin had been in my possession since T surrendered it to me, but I handed it off, and Haruhi inspected it carefully. “Where’s the mic switch?”
“I flipped it off before handing it to Kyam.”
I couldn’t even tell there was a switch.
Haruhi held it up to the light.
“How’d you figure it out, Yuki? What gave it away?”
“…………”
Nagato slowly looked up, spent a moment with her head tilted, seemingly searching for the right words, and then said, “Hunch.”
This was clearly a lie, but she was already back to her book.
And for some reason, both Haruhi and T bought it.
“Well done, Nagato! You are a modern Hitokotonushi.”
T was out here comparing Nagato to the god on Mount Katsuragi, but like, how did she even know about that god? I guess the kanji did mean “master of the monosyllable,” so maybe it was just a coincidence?
“If it was a hunch, then say no more,” Haruhi said, very on-brand. “By the way, Mikuru, is it actually true Tsuruya’s out of school for family business?”
Startled, Asahina looked up from the postcard she was taping to the tea caddy. (It read Sugar MANDATORY)
“Oh yes,” she said. “She said she’d be out a few days and asked if she could see my notes when she got back.”
I doubted even Tsuruya would play hooky for several days to just to pull a fast one on us… Probably.
“Do you know where she is, T?”
“I can confirm it’s definitely family business,” T said cheerily. Seemingly glad she didn’t have to lie anymore. “We actually timed this whole plan around her schedule. The other way around would have been a bit much.”
Haruhi humphed at this. “Well, now I’m the one with a hunch,” she said.
She grabbed Episode Three and pointed to the first page.
“I bet this is a hint! The first line of the narration!”
Koizumi and I leaned in to see. It said…
Where am I?
“T, call Tsuruya for us.”
Wasn’t she going somewhere?
“If I’m right, she’ll pick up.”
T let out what sounded like a sigh but tapped on her phone’s screen.
Before the third ring even happened— “Heya! Faster than I thought! You work out a question for me, then?”
Tsuruya’s voice sounded a little muffled, like she had to keep her voice down. She was probably riding on or in something.
Haruhi put T’s phone to her ear, listened in silence for a moment, then grinned and put the phone back down. Hands on her hips, she said, “Where are you, Tsuruya?”
“Ha! Ha-ha. Oh, you’re already that far, huh? Did Lie blab?”
Ottilie, Ti, Lie. This girl had a lotta names.
“I did not! Haru guessed.”
“Oh! Then say no more.”
Koizumi and I glanced at each other. Haruhi and Tsuruya seemed to be communicating, but all I was getting out of it was these two were on the same wavelength.
I opened my mouth to butt my oar in, but before I could…
…there was a noise like someone popping a balloon, the clubroom door slammed open, and a voice like a banshee screamed “Booyah!” in my ears.
“Eep!” Asahina shrieked, lifting a good five centimeters off her seat.
“…………” Even the ever immobile Nagato actually turned and looked.
“Mikuru! I’m back, baby!” the banshee said.
Tsuruya was standing there with a paper bag in each hand.
✦ ✦ ✦
She’d brought us soba boro cookies.
T quickly got Tsuruya caught up to speed.
“I was planning on making you think I was abroad and then popping out to surprise you!” Tsuruya said, settling down on a guest chair. She popped one of her own cookies into her mouth. “But you worked that part out, too?! Man, you can’t fool the SOS Brigade. I give up!”
✦ ✦ ✦
