Irido probably already realized the truth, but he knew that it was better to come from my mouth than his. I couldn’t help but be surprised that a guy like him, who used to shut everyone else out, had learned to be so considerate.
After a long silence, A-chan finally spoke. “I didn’t do anything to be thanked for,” she said as if trying to deny what she’d done. “I just couldn’t win against my desires... It wasn’t because I was worried about you. It wasn’t because I was hoping for your happiness... In the end, all I could think about was myself...”
And then A-chan slowly began talking about everything that happened.
Akatsuki Minami: You’re the Only Guy for Me
Let me preface this story with the fact that the walls are thin in our apartment building. Because of that I heard someone asking him out, someone whose voice sounded familiar. She sounded just like the girl that Kawanami had been good friends with in middle school. They’d been so close that I got jealous of them when he and I dated. They always acted like they were guy friends, though, so ultimately, I let my guard down with regard to her. But right now that very girl was asking out my ex.
I had no right to complain. Over the past year and a half, a lot of things had happened, and he and I still weren’t exactly back to where we used to be. There was absolutely nothing wrong about a single guy being asked out by a single girl. If anything, it made sense to me. Makoto Koyama had more in common with Kawanami than I did, knew him better than I did, was cuter than I was—not to mention more cheerful—and...she wouldn’t be as clingy as I would be.
If I had to compare the situation...it’d be like Irido-kun dating Higashira-san. They didn’t end up dating, though, so how would things play out for me? It wouldn’t have been weird if they started dating. If anything, it was weird that they didn’t end up dating. When a guy and a girl who were as thick as thieves reunited after a long time, it’d make sense for them to realize just how important they were to each other and make the decision to date.
Maybe that was okay. Maybe it was for the best. Oh. I’ve already come to accept it in my head. It made more sense for him to date Koyama-san than a mental case like me. He’d have a much easier time and a much healthier romance. I understood this even if I didn’t want to. My heart felt like it was cracking. But this was the punishment I deserved. If this could help him get back the years he missed out on, then working to cure him over this year and a half was good.
Then I heard him ask if she was serious. In the place where my love ended, I started feeling joy—or I should’ve...
When I heard her say that she was serious, there was a heavy sound like something had fallen. After a while, I heard the sound of someone frantically running away and a door opening and closing. What happened? Out of curiosity, I poked my head out of my front door and saw a familiar girl frantically running down the hall. After losing sight of her, I left my apartment and went to the one next door. It was unlocked. I guess Koyama-san ran away without locking the door.
“What happened...? Are you okay?” I asked in a hesitant voice as I opened his door.
When I went into the living room, I saw him passed out, curled up, with vomit on the carpet.
“A-Are you okay?!”
I panicked and ran over to him. As soon as I looked down on him, balled up, I realized what’d happened. His allergy... I thought it was already healed. He’s not even affected by anything I do anymore.
I’d started exposure therapy because I knew that one day his allergy would hurt someone’s feelings, and now he wasn’t breaking out into hives over a bit of flirting...or at least that’s what I’d thought. But why had the thing I feared most happened?! For the time being, I needed to do something about him. I squatted next to him.
“Are you okay? You conscious?” I asked while slowly reaching for him.
“Don’t...touch me.” After hearing his groaning voice, I stopped. “Your clothes’ll...get dirty.”
Kawanami’s clothes were dripping with vomit and even in his mostly unconscious state, he was worried about it getting on me.
“Ugh, you idiot!” I didn’t have time to try and convince him. I stood up and stripped down to just my bra and panties. “Look, now I won’t get my clothes dirty!”
I put my arm underneath his armpit and began to move his body slowly, taking him away from where he’d thrown up. By that point, he’d completely lost consciousness. His eyes were shut and he looked like he was hurting.
What do I do? What’s best for me to do here? Should I take him to his bed? But maybe it’s best to take off his clothes first. Otherwise his bed’ll get dirty. I laid him on the ground and pulled both of his arms up over his head so I could take off his shirt. Then I took off his shorts. For the time being, I left his clothes there and took him to his room.
I took a breath and then realized that it probably wasn’t the best to leave the living room in the dirty state that it was in. It’d be a whole thing to have to explain what happened here to his parents if they came home.
I found a cleaning rag and then wiped away most of the vomit. It sucked that there was still a stain, but it wasn’t any different from a stain from a juice spill or something. After that, I washed his clothes in the bathtub before throwing them into the washing machine. After turning it on, I went back to Kawanami’s room to check on him.
He was out cold on his bed, still practically naked. I put a blanket over him, but that probably wasn’t enough to keep him warm. I need to put clothes on him... I began searching through his drawers and found pajamas, but try as I might, it was much harder to put clothes on an unconscious person than it was to take them off.
I stood up, still holding his pajamas. What should I do now? I already had an answer. What should I do? Even so, I repeated this question in my head, not looking at reality. What should I do?
Why did it have to be you? Maybe because I wasn’t frantically rushing around anymore, I suddenly found I wasn’t panicking anymore. Now all that was left in my head were complaints and regrets.
No matter how much I thought about it, I couldn’t figure out why. There were all kinds of guys in that same middle school classroom. Takahara was good at any sport he tried, Tsukishima was really chill; even outside of our classroom, there were some cute underclassmen and reliable upperclassmen. And honestly, even outside of guys, there were a lot of girls that were just as great. For example, Takinaka-senpai was a star in track and Midori-chan looked up to me.
But out of all these people, for some reason, it still had to be Kogure Kawanami. We only became friends by pure chance. Sure, he was a funny guy, considerate, and sometimes a gentleman, but there were so many better options than him for me to fall for. But somehow, it was Kogure Kawanami.