Before I knew it, our tongues were intertwining with one another. We were ravenously seeking out each other’s mouths. As she accepted my desires, A-chan moved her hand down, and I felt her cold hand slip under my bathrobe and touch my lower half.
“It’s gotten so big...” she said as she looked down, slightly smiling.
Internally, I was snapping back at her, saying that I bet her body was reacting just as eagerly as mine. As I did, I reached my hand down her robe too.
“Ah! Mmff...”
Her breathing became ragged. A-chan and I both stopped being humans capable of intelligent thought. We became two beasts entangled with each other on the creaking bed. But even so, I didn’t care. If living as a human meant living in a world where I could barely breathe, I’d much rather the easy life of a beast.
“Ah! Mmn! Ko-kun... Ko-kun... Ko-kun!”
Sweat gradually began to break out across her small body as I held her. As she called my name, she tightened her grip on my back as if trying to keep from falling away. Eventually, her back arched as she reached her climax, before dropping back to the bed. Her face was red as if she’d been drinking, and her eyes looked so unfocused, it was like she’d fainted. But even so, she kept them pointed at me.
“Is...that it?” The edges of her saliva-stained pink lips turned up invitingly. “Is that...all you want to do?”
I’d already gone past the point of self-control. Everything that had been held back these past few years, the things I’d diligently kept sealed in, the things I’d stayed away from because of fear... How good would it feel to get back at her for everything she did to me back then?
A desire that I’d long been rejecting grew until it crowded out all other thoughts. This time, I’d kill her with love. After all, she was cute. She had long eyelashes, she had doe-like eyes, and she had soft cheeks. She was very expressive, her every movement was adorable, and she was meek when she wanted to be spoiled.
If anyone had her as a girlfriend, they’d want to love her like a pet. So I could too, right? I could make her feel a lot of love. I could whisper in her ear all night about my love until it was the only thing that occupied her brain. I could ravage her petite body until she understood what she was born for. I could fill her head with joy, pleasure, satisfaction, and submission until it broke. I would do it every day, without listening to her pleas.
The desires and love that were boiling up inside me were things that I’d make her remember forever, and ever, and ever, and ever, and ever, and ever, and ever, and ever.
A-chan slightly raised her knees. Her panties were already down her legs. She offered her perfectly ready self to me. All I needed to do was move forward. The condoms on the side table weren’t even a thought in my head. Right now, all I could think about was if I just moved a little further forward, just a little more, and...
“Dammit...”
Suddenly tears began rolling down my cheeks like rain.
“Ko-kun?”
“I can’t... I can’t do it...”
I felt the strength being drained from me. I buried my head next to hers, staining the pillow with my tears.
“I wanna get back at you... I want to so bad, but...I can’t. Why... Why did it have to be someone like you that I... Dammit... Dammit!”
I loved her. I loved Akatsuki Minami. That was why this was wrong. This kind of future was wrong. I didn’t want this. This wasn’t what I dreamed of. I wanted to treasure her. I wanted to be by her side forever. My family was rarely ever home, but she was always there with me. That was why I... I... I don’t want to run. I didn’t want to run back then because I really...
“It’s okay.” A-chan once again gently embraced me despite how pathetic I was. “I’ll be waiting. I’ll always be waiting for you, no matter how long it takes.”
And then we simply lay in bed holding each other.
Mizuto Irido: The Identity of What Was Bugging Me
Each time a flower of fire bloomed in the sky, the sound echoed inside me, followed by silence and darkness. Yume and I were currently watching the fireworks show from the stairs of an abandoned shrine.
“It’s kinda nostalgic, isn’t it?” Yume said through a sigh as she watched the vibrant colors. “A year has passed since we watched fireworks here last year.”
“Yeah...”
Thinking back over that year made it feel like just a small moment in my life, but it was probably the longest year in my life. The more I thought about it, the more I realized since then, something had decisively changed. Ever since she’d kissed me here last year, it was like the world that’d been frozen for me had begun moving again.
“Hey, Mizuto?”
I felt Yume tugging on my sleeve, so I turned to look at her and I saw the expectant look in her eyes.
“Yeah.”
She closed her eyes and turned her head toward me. Oh, I see. While the fireworks thundered above us, I lay my lips over hers. After a few seconds, I moved back and she blinked a little, looking at me as if she were a little unsatisfied.
“You’re kinda unfocused.”
“Am I?”
“It’s like you’re lacking gentleness or love or something.” As she tried to explain her vague impressions, she let out a heavy sigh. “This is such an important place for us, and that’s the kind of kiss you give, huh?”
“S-Sorry... At the very least, I didn’t think I wasn’t focusing on you...”
“You’re still thinking about Kawanami, aren’t you?”
I clammed up. She was right. It was true that somewhere inside me, I was still hung up on something about how he’d cut off all communications, how weird he’d been acting, how he’d told me about an experience that only sounded like he was bragging. It was really bad timing. I realized something though about what had been bugging me about Kawanami’s story while I was going around the festival with Yume.
“He doesn’t matter, not when you’re the one in front of me.”
That’s right. He may be the one on my mind, but Yume’s the one right in front of me. So I need to try harder to focus on her. For some reason, Yume gently smiled.
“I’m happy that you want to prioritize me, but...” Then she began to talk to me like a mother would to her child. “A boyfriend who cares a lot about his friends just might make his girlfriend love him more, you know?”
I... I... After the fireworks ended, I began talking about the thing that’d been bugging me.
“So when eating takoyaki...” I started.
“Hm?”
“If someone’s feeding you one, isn’t it normal to react to how hot it is?”
“Yeah... Hm?” Yume tilted her head.
“But when Makoto Koyama fed him, Kawanami ate it without any problems.”