Dammit. This is the mistake of a lifetime. It’d all happened so fast that I was taken off guard and had stared for a lot longer than I’d meant to. Outside of my vision, I heard her wet footsteps as she left the bathroom. Then she put on a loose bathrobe and came out. Her hair that was usually tied up into a ponytail was completely down.
“Wanna take a bath?” she asked.
“Like hell am I taking one in there!”
“I won’t peek, okay? You should take one—you’re kinda sweaty.”
I am? I guess I have to take a shower, then... I switched with Minami and went into the bathroom, and took off my clothes. As I peeked into the bath area, I looked out through the glass into the bedroom and saw Minami sitting with her back turned, drying her hair.
Okay... I made up my mind and walked into the bath area and began showering inside the wet bathtub. I can’t calm down... We’re not even taking a shower together, but the thought that someone might be able to see me while I’m showering is nerve-racking. Plus, I was still recovering from the shock of seeing her naked body and I could feel it in every last part of my body. I couldn’t help but feel restless.
A quick wash later, I pushed my wet hair out of my face and opened my eyes. I felt a little better now. The urges that had bubbled up inside me not too long ago had gone away with the water down the drain. But when I turned around, I saw Minami ogling me through the glass.
“Hey!”
I turned around, quickly thinking to at least cover my front half. Minami was sitting slovenly cross-legged in the robe and was observing my naked body on top of that.
“You’ve grown...”
“I don’t need your commentary!”
“You’ve got some good muscles, kid. Ten out of ten.”
“Don’t score me!”
This damn dirty girl... I can’t let my guard down around her at all. Right now we were in a space where nobody could see us. It was just me and her. I had no doubt that within the confines of this small room, we could live the way we wanted to.
After that, the two of us ate the food we’d bought from the convenience store before coming here and then lay on the bed while watching videos on our phones. Ultimately, after changing our positions a lot, I ended up with Minami’s head on my shoulder.
“So, I heard from a friend, but...” she started.
“Yeah?”
“Girls with big boobs can use them to prop up their phone.”
“Sounds convenient.”
“I know, right?”
It seemed that the fatigue from walking around all day had finally caught up with me. It was so strong that it felt like my head was trapped in a spider’s web. I couldn’t work up the motivation to move even a single finger. Eventually I left my phone on my chest and stopped looking at it, letting it autoplay because it was too annoying to look at in this position. At a certain point, a video of a VTuber giving commentary on a game I hadn’t heard about started. This was a comfortable lethargy. When was the last time that I was able to just relax like this and give into my fatigue? I couldn’t even remember the last time I simply felt tired.
Oh, I see. I haven’t been sleeping. All this time, I’ve just been fainting as if I were disconnecting from the world, letting go of my consciousness. But none of that was sleep. I didn’t rest. I just couldn’t stand the world anymore.
I didn’t have to be afraid here. I was free here. I didn’t have to pay attention to anyone. I didn’t have to be disappointed in myself. I didn’t have to hate my past. I didn’t have to feel like there was no future for me. I could just live on impulse.
“Hey, Ko-kun?” Suddenly, I heard Minami’s nostalgic voice in my ear. Her porcelain hand was on my shoulder. “Have...you already noticed?”
“Noticed what?”
Immediately as I said this, Minami moved her head and softly pressed her lips against mine, but I didn’t burst into hives. This soft, warm feeling was so nostalgic.
“You’re...already cured,” she whispered quietly. “You don’t have to be scared about people showing you affection anymore. You don’t have to be scared of facing your own emotions. You’ve been free for a while now.”
“Yeah, sure I am...” Even with the truth thrust in my face, I couldn’t accept this. “But what about Makoto? The pain I felt from her was real. It was like the world turned upside down. I couldn’t see straight and my insides turned out...”
“You just haven’t realized it yourself yet. You still think you haven’t been healed yet.”
“There’s no way that’s...”
But then her lips pressed on mine again as if to override anything further I was going to say.
“I’ll keep doing this until you realize it yourself,” Minami said, her face close to mine. Then she hugged me. “I love you.”
She whispered it right into my ear as if to make it go directly to my brain. “I love you. I love you so, so much. I’m so sorry for all the horrible things I did back then. I regret what I did, and I’ve learned from it... I know sometimes I can have an awkward or sharp attitude around you, but it’s just because I’ve never stopped loving you...”
Each time I heard her profess her love, for some reason, tears beaded up in my eyes and started sliding down my cheeks. I didn’t know why. I really didn’t. Most likely, I was sad. Sad that A-chan had done this to me, and that I’d become allergic to affection. When we were just childhood friends, I never thought that things would turn out like this between the two of us.
“I love you, Ko-kun... That’s really it. You may not believe me, but—”
I couldn’t withstand the sadness. I embraced her small body and got on top of her. Her hair spread across the pillow and in the midst of it, her moist eyes were looking right at me. Her bathrobe got messed up and her breasts peeked out from underneath the loosened collar. From underneath the gap in the robe, I could see her sky blue panties with a small ribbon at the waistband.
“You can do whatever you want to me.” A-chan giggled softly. “Back then, I did whatever I wanted to you, so... This time, you can do whatever you want to me. I won’t feel better unless you do that...”
I was scared, but even so, her gentle eyes and her accepting lips melted my fear away just a little bit. I nervously brought my lips close to hers until they pressed together. Then I did it again, and again, and again. Each time I kissed her, I could feel the twisted knots inside of me unravel one by one. My thoughts disappeared, my emotions disappeared, my rational thought disappeared, until all I had left were my instincts.
“Mm... Nn... Ha...”