“C’mon, quit exaggerating. Didn’t you say you liked to live life efficiently? And now you’re wastin’ time getting all emotional?”
“I can’t help it! My heart can’t contain this much gratitude!”
“Weirdo. Though I guess I always knew you were kinda emotional. Reminds me you’re still human.”
“I am not emotional! Everything I do and feel is so that I can live my life at maximum efficiency!”
“Welp, it sure was kind of you to let me be part of your super efficient life, Mr. Roboto.”
“Whatever.” I decided to put an end to the conversation.
Ozu tactfully moved on to something else.
“I also wanna make up for how my sister’s been treating you. You said she was at your place yesterday, right?”
“Yeah.”
“I’m really sorry about her. I keep hiding the key in different places, but she always sniffs it out somehow.”
“Don’t worry about it. It’s not your fault.”
I still couldn’t wrap my head around how Ozu and Iroha were related. They were just so different.
Ozu was the kind of guy who always put others first. He was good at recognizing and not overstepping boundaries. You saw just now how he apologized for the stuff his sister did, right? He was an absolute saint.
In fact, he was the complete opposite of his terror of a sister. Whichever god was playing Create-A-Human that day either decided to mess around with her genes, or was just feeling particularly cruel, as though he were creating her just to trap her in a pool with no ladders later. Suddenly Ozu let out a laugh.
“Y’know, I think Iroha has a thing for you.”
“Huh?!”
“Oh, damn... You don’t look happy about that.”
“Duh. Jokes are s’posed to be funny.”
“O-Oh. Think you could forgive me, then?”
“I guess. Though my heart can’t contain all this disgust.”
“Right, right...”
“Anyway, there’s no way she likes me. She’s just messin’ with me.”
“To hide her true feelings, right?”
“Ugh! I knew you’d say that. Everyone does. But it’s not true. Why would anyone treat someone that way ’cause they were into ’em? You’d wanna be nice to the person you like, right? Otherwise, they’re just gonna end up hating you. It makes no sense!”
“You’re talking like girls make sense, dude.”
“It’s not about girls. It’s about universal common sense. Besides, no one would be interested in me in the first place.”
I wasn’t looking for the kind of idealized teenagehood that you see in anime and manga. Plus, every girl I’d met in my life so far invariably hated me. If they even showed any sign of acknowledging me at all, it was always a negative one.
And so I gave up on romance. I had no hope anyway.
“I’m as average as they come. There’s nothing about me that girls’d find attractive.”
“I think you’re pretty popular with them, though.”
“That’s rich, coming from a chad like you.”
“But you do have good parts. I mean, you’re nice...”
“Yeah, ‘nice.’ The most average of the positive adjectives...”
“Man, just take the compliment. You’re always so stubborn when it comes to this kinda thing.” Ozu sighed and shook his head.
I did appreciate that he was trying to cheer me up. He was kind, handsome, and smart. There was no way that little old “nice” me could compete.
I already knew that Ozu had a bright future ahead of him. It wouldn’t be long till the world saw just what a great person he was, like I did, and I was genuinely excited to see how far he’d go.
As a friend, I wanted to treasure him. It was a shame about his sister, but I supposed it was all in the name of making life a bit more exciting.
Just then, the classroom door swung open.
Immediately, the air seemed to freeze. Every voice in the room came to a sudden stop, whether it was one begging for notes, or one just cracking jokes. The only sound that remained was the clacking of heels as our young teacher made her way towards the desk.
Her hair was gathered neatly atop her head, and her eyes had a sharp, intelligent glint to them. Her body was as slender as any model’s, with an ample chest to compliment it, while her suit hugged her figure perfectly. As usual, everyone was in awe of the beauty of this perfect teacher; she was the kind of beauty everyone wished to be taught by. Without sitting down, she swept her gaze over the gaggle of students scattered around the room.
“The bell has rung. Why are you not in your seats? If you pigs don’t know how to read a clock, then I suggest you pack your bags and get out of here immediately.”
Silence.
“Sit, or be punished. Your choice.” The teacher slammed her heel down on the floor beneath her, leaving a dent and sending a crack through the room.
Every face drained of its color as the students shuffled back to their seats. Well, not every face. Some had gone red and were accompanied with a quiet panting. Best not to dwell on that too long.
“Every human starts as a worthless pig. Once you learn how to dance to society’s tune, you become a monkey. You lot are still far off from becoming full-fledged humans.”
It was hard to believe she was a teacher with all that disdain passing through her lips. Such a harsh teacher was rare nowadays, what with society being more vigilant against corporal punishment and abuse of power in schools. But here she was: our math and homeroom teacher, Kageishi Sumire.
At first, many of the boys in our class rejoiced at having such a quick-witted and beautiful teacher like her, but now it was only a handful of masochists who still felt that way.
She was now known as the Venomous Queen thanks to her sharp tongue, strict teaching, and the murderous reign of terror she commanded. Any student who put a single toe out of line was instantly brought back under her thumb.
“Let us begin.”