I held my breath. I knew this was coming. After all, there was no such thing as a free lunch in this society. While there were both efficient and inefficient methods to get what you wanted, there was no getting away from having to pay a suitable price.
This was a world-famous enterprise I was dealing with. I couldn’t imagine how expensive the toll must be.
“Now, for the first condition... You don’t have a girlfriend, right, Akiteru-kun?”
A pause.
“Huh?!” was all I managed in the end.
“Why did you hesitate? Don’t tell me... I bet you get more action than a visual novel protagonist!”
“N-No, I don’t! I don’t even talk to girls!”
It was at that moment that I saw a lightbulb go off in Iroha’s head in the mirror. This wasn’t good. I glared at her, telepathically sending her a message to get lost immediately. It only seemed to encourage her, though. Her lips curled and she began to giggle.
“Senpai!”
“L-Let go of me!”
“Is someone with you?” came my uncle’s voice through the phone. “I think I’m sensing the sickening scent of a young couple and their icky-wicky love!”
“I... I got a cat!”
“A cat! Great! What kind?”
“Er... Um...”
Dammit. I didn’t know anything about cats. Judging from my uncle’s question though, he did. It didn’t look like I could bluff my way out of this one, and if I kept quiet, he’d know something was up. Should I tell him about Iroha?
No. Anything but that!
If anyone looked in and saw Iroha speaking so sweetly while pressing up against my back, they’d probably think she was my girlfriend. Sometimes in life, the most likely explanation isn’t the correct one, but even then I didn’t think my uncle would believe me if I insisted we weren’t an item.
“Hey, Senpai,” Iroha whispered into my ear. “If this guy finds out you’re with a girl, you’re gonna be in trouble, right?”
“Yes!” I breathed back. “So shut the hell up!”
Her lip curled like the mischievous cat I was pretending she was. She was clearly enjoying this.
“This super-naughty feeling... reminds me of NTR.” She giggled.
“You’re too young to know what that is.”
“But I do! It was in your search history.”
“You mean you’ve been through my phone?!”
“Akiteru-kun?”
My rage was cut short by my uncle’s voice. I screamed.
“The cat is scratching up my phone!” I wailed. “Quit it! C’mon!”
“S-Sounds like you got a pretty violent kitty. You gotta discipline them, you know!”
“Trust me, I would love to discipline this... cat-bitch!”
What was a female cat called anyway?
Iroha’s soft breasts and arms pushed up against me. Her sweet scent tickled my nose. Annoyingly, she was just as calm as ever; I couldn’t say the same about me.
“Ooh?” she purred. “Who exactly do you think is going to be disciplining who? Oh, you’re so cute when you get all flustered from my teasing. It gets me so excited, like I’m touching you on a jam-packed train.”
“Well I’m not excited, so stop touching me and get off! My future depends on this—”
“Excited? Touching?” Tsukinomori-san said. “Don’t tell me you’re—”
“I’m not! I said, uh... excited munchkin! Munchkin is... It’s a munchkin cat!”
Thank God I remembered that a munchkin was a kind of cat, and not just one of those tiny people from The Wizard of Oz.
“Oh, a munchkin! Those are very curious and playful! Man, I could just stare at them for days.”
“This one’s a pain in the butt.”
“Hahaha! I’m sure it’s not; it just ended up with a tsundere as its owner! Make sure you look after it, okay?”
“I, uhh... I’ll take good care of it.” I let out an awkward laugh.
“Oh, I’ve just been called to a meeting! But I’m glad to hear you don’t have a girlfriend.”
I did it! He totally bought my cat story! Not that Iroha is my girlfriend.
“Although I’m not convinced just yet. That was only the first condition, after all. I’ll tell you the others when I next get a chance, so bear with me for a bit.”
“Okay. Thanks for calling, by the way. I know you’re busy.”
“Don’t mention it! Anything for my dear nephew and daughter! This is nothing.”
“Th... Wait, who?!”
“Adios!”
There was a beep.
“He hung up...”
That last thing he said to me was definitely out of place.
Well, whatever. At this rate, I’d be making my debut at Honeyplace Works soon!
No, wait. It’s too early to be getting ahead of myself.
The moment Iroha realized the phone call was over, she flopped down on the bed and was at my manga again. It didn’t surprise me in the least. Her flirtatious attitude just now had nothing to do with any interest in me. She just wanted to mess with me, but since she was my friend’s sister, she probably felt she could get away with it. According to Ozuma, he hadn’t seen her like this with anyone else...
With the key to my place, she came and went as she pleased. My friend’s sister, Kohinata Iroha, who for some reason had it in for only me. She was also the greatest threat to me getting a place at my uncle’s company. I couldn’t let her walk all over me anymore. It was time to set some boundaries.
“Senpai!” Iroha whined. “I’m thirsty!”
“There’s tomato juice on the second shelf in the fridge. It’s rich and has no calories.”
“Yes! You’re kind as always, Senpai! I love you so much!”
Iroha hopped off the bed and out of the room. I sighed as I watched her leave. I supposed setting boundaries could always wait until tomorrow...
I really could be too careless sometimes. I hadn’t noticed the smirk on Iroha’s lips as she left me behind in the bedroom.
✦ ✦ ✦
“...And that’s what happened.”
“You really do like Iroha, right? I mean, you had juice ready for her.”
“I have it because I like it! Just ’cause it happens to be her favorite too...”
“Nah, you know what it is? It’s ’cause you’re like the main character.”
“The heck does that mean?”
“If I told you, things wouldn’t nearly be as fun.”
“Ugh. Whatever. Just please can you tell her not to barge into my place anymore? You’re her brother!”
“Sure... I’ll tell her.”