If only i had bangs, i could just cast down my eyes.
Now—with her back to Koyomi.
It's as if she's defying him.
It's as if she's opposing him.
"i...i had to, i had to, i had to."
"Yeah. I know. It's okay, 'Sengoku—
Big Brother Koyomi's voice is nothing if not kind.
It isn't the least bit combative and seems to envelope Nadeko— i just want to leave everything to him.
"—But that's something very dangerous. That item couldn't be any more dangerous. item is cursed. I was fine with keeping it, being entrusted with it, but I didn't know what to do with it and shut it in there. I wanted to forget about it, that's how bad it is—Shinobu can't even eat it. It's not something you could deal with. So—”
“…”
It's—probably true.
After all, it's a holy object of worship.
Something that was enshrined as a god—normally it wouldn't ever find its way into the hands of a middle schooler like Nadeko.
But—
"S-Still, Big Brother. Na...Nadeko does have to 'deal' with it...because that's how Nadeko is going to atone."
"Atone?"
Koyomi reacts to the word.
He seems suspicious, in fact.
Almost like he heard a word at odds with the situation—a reaction you'd have to seeing a sewing machine on top of an operating table.
"Y... Yeah. Atone," Nadeko still says.
As if doing everything i can to explain might improve the situation in some little way—like Nadeko mistakenly believes that she can do something about a situation that's already finished.
i...i'm not a victim... Nadeko isn't a victim... She's a victim, but she's also guilty..."
So.
i need to atone—wait.
Is something wrong here?
"I see. You've been carrying all kinds of burdens. I'm sorry I ever noticed."
I heard about what happened at school too, he adds—hold on, at school?
Does he mean when Nadeko became Naughtyko?
Why would Koyomi have heard—no, maybe it's not that mysterious. Nadeko's middle school is full of students who are friends with Tsukihi and Karen, so they hear about it whenever any kind of incident happens, and that was easily big enough to call an incident.
If word of it got to the Fire Sisters, then Koyomi would find out about it—especially after what happened this morning.
Is that why he came back home?
Because he found out that Nadeko left school early? No—that might have been part of it, but it can't be everything. He wouldn't have been able to guess that Nadeko was coming here.
So there has to be something.
Something Nadeko doesn't know but Big Brother does.
...But so what?
How does that matter?
It doesn't mean anything anymore.
Whatever Big Brother knows, whatever Nadeko doesn’t—now, it doesn't mean a thing.
Because—he already knows.
The one feeling Nadeko didn't want him to.
So nothing else matters to her anymore—it's all over.
If everything is going to come to an end—then let it.
"I never noticed, I'm sorry," Big Brother says—but i don't really know what he's talking about.
He never noticed for Nadeko—he says.
But Nadeko didn't want him to notice.
She wanted him to leave her alone—she didn't want it noticed.
Big Brother Koyomi was the one person i didn't want knowing what an awful girl Nadeko is.
i wanted to stay a girl who's just cute.
"I promise I'll apologize properly—so for now, Sengoku, I need you to give me that talisman."
“…”
"You—" Big Brother says, with the smallest bit of sadness in his tone. "You always—act annoyed when we talk."
“…!”
Wha?
Hold on a second.
That's not true.
That's not how it is. That isn't why Nadeko lowers her eyes when we talk, Nadeko—
"Are you that way with everyone? Do you find it annoying anytime anyone approaches you? Do you see everyone as an enemy? If you do, I think that's fine, too. If you hate me—then there's nothing I can do about it."
There's nothing he can do, he says.
Please don't.
Did you not hear Nadeko? Didn't i just say it?
Or were you not listening?
To the way that Nadeko feels about Big Brother—
"Even so, Sengoku, that talisman—“
"Have ye had enough of this dragged-out affair?"
Just then, Miss Shinobu, who's stayed silent the whole time until now, interrupts Koyomi. Her tone is terribly mean, without any trace of sympathy in contrast to Big Brother—she's being so combative toward Nadeko.
"There's no need to pay heed to the feelings of this clueless, spoilt child. Smack her and take it from her, that's all ye need to do. Give her all the reasoning and explanation ye want later. Nay—there's not even a need to bother with that then. What thou ought to do with this ignorant waif is to sell her off somewhere. Pitiful and cute. Twould be mercy to allow her to continue being a victim.
"Shinobu.. ." Koyomi reacts to her words, but Shinobu continues bluntly.
"There's no need for thee to give any consideration to some waif who can think only of herself even in a situation like this. As is thy custom, ye try to save anyone and everyone for any and every reason—but, while I'm at it, ye can't even answer this waif's selfish emotions in kind."
Her words are so cold—that i can't tell who she's being cold to.
An ironblooded, hotblooded, yet coldblooded vampire.
i think that was Miss Shinobu's catchphrase—but coldblooded is all she's being right now.
Like a snake.
Coldblooded.
"All this brat is, is cute—all that's cute to her is her, and thou ought to abandon such a brat. Enough with thy philanthropy—crimes deserve punishment. She ought to learn this—just as I did."
"W-Way to talk," Nadeko can't stop herself from retorting.
All Nadeko is, is cute?
All that's cute to her is Nadeko? There's no way i can stay quiet
after being treated to all of that.
i can't stay quiet.
"Th-That's not true. .. Y-You might be right, but. .. Nadeko's doing it for herself because she has to, but... She's atoning, papering it over, but, but—
Mister Serpent.
He lost his energy and was like a candle in the wind—and to save him.
A tiny little part of Nadeko might really feel that way—
"S...Say something, Mister Serpent," Nadeko addresses the aberration on her right wrist—the god there. "Don't be silent...please—help Nadeko. Cover for Nadeko."
You.
Aren't you a god?
"Enough, forelocked girl," Miss Shinobu says like she's fed up.
It's not a suitable name anymore, but Miss Shinobu probably couldn't care less.
Trivial differences in humans don't mean a thing to Miss Shinobu, an aberration. She's even a specialist at devouring aberrations—
"Rather than rely forever on this Mister Serpent, some god who hasn't even been resurrected—hurry up and give us that talisman.
That charmed talisman entrusted by Izuko Gaen to my master—
Wha?
Hearing this, Nadeko looks at the talisman with the snake drawn on it.
And at her own right wrist.
And enwrapped around it is—no.
Wrapped around it is.
A plain old white scrunchy—it'd do a very good job of holding together your hair.