Let Nadeko tell you just how cruel, how impossible, and how grave the current situation, which must be more or less the narrative's climax—is for your reference.
i doubt words can convey it, but Nadeko needs to try as hard as she can.
It's important to try.
i don't like having to work hard, but this is probably the last time in Nadeko's life that she's going to have to try—uhm. First off, Nadeko is in Big Brother Koyomi's home right now, in his room. i'm trespassing, by the way. Nadeko opened the locked front door without asking and even placed her shoes in a plastic bag she brought with her in order to cover up what she's dared to do, which is breaking and entering.
On top of all of that, i'm rummaging through Koyomi's room.
Something i wouldn't be allowed to do even if i were family.
i have a debt of gratitude to him so big i can't repay it—he, and i say this without exaggeration, saved Nadeko's life, but this is how i'm repaying his kindness.
Not only am i breaking and entering, i'm violating his privacy.
If that were all—though i shouldn't even be using that phrase—it would be one thing. To make matters worse, Nadeko has gone and found the dirty magazines Big Brother stores in his desk drawer, read the top two from cover to cover and tossed them to the floor, and has a third one open on her lap.
And then, after all of this.
After she's been witnessed doing this—she says it.
Dear Big Brother...
Nadeko wants him to love her back.
i've gone and said it—
“………………………………………..nkk!"
Between turning pale and blushing like her cheeks are on fire, Nadeko's face must look like a marble.
i can't move. i can't stand.
i can't even turn around—or blink.
A dream. This is a dream.
Nadeko is dreaming—tut.
Tut tut, Nadeko.
Remember what Tsukihi told you?
i should be looking at reality instead—
"Listen, Sengoku. Nadeko Sengoku."
Big Brother Koyomi's voice continues from behind like he's completely uninterested in Nadeko's attempt to escape reality—he's stifling any emotions, and i can't guess what his expression is like.
He won't let Nadeko run from reality.
i can't retreat into a dream.
"I'm not going to do anything to you...so just calm down. Okay?"
Calm down? What an unreasonable demand.
Big Brother is asking the impossible of Nadeko.
Calm down?
So in other words, die?
"I want you to slowly—put it on the floor."
i don't know what he's talking about.
None of his normally comforting words are making it to Nadeko's brain.
Why is Big Brother here?
What about school? Saving people?
What's going on—well, i don't know if he's been saving people.
But in that case, what's he up to?
"Can you hear me, Nadeko? Put that—on the floor. That's all you need to do, it's fine. Just do that, and it'll solve everything."
“…”
That?
Could he be talking about the pinup magazine on Nadeko's lap? Yes, he's right, i should let go of it asap. It's bad for Nadeko's education.
But please listen, Big Brother Koyomi, you have it wrong. Nadeko wasn't tearing up your room to look for these.
That isn't why she's committing a crime.
But i'm in no situation to be mouthing excuses—however you look at it, right now Nadeko is a precocious, curious early bloomer.
"Muh, muh, muh, muh, muh, muh, muh...
Nadeko's quivering voice, her quivering tongue, her quivering lips.
She's never had more trouble in her life rolling out words, even as her vision is spinning.
Still, summoning every bit of strength, i call out to him—to Mister Serpent, on Nadeko's right wrist—to ask for his help.
"I-It's okay now, Mister Serpent... I-It's okay if he finds out about everything…”
It's okay if he knows.
That Nadeko isn't a victim, and everything else. It's okay if Big Brother finds out—so please, just explain it all to him.
It's fine now. All of it—it's fine.
"Muh-Mister Serpent—
But the Serpent doesn't react.
He doesn't even budge there on Nadeko's right wrist—as if he's turned into nothing more than a plain accessory, the moment Koyomi shows up.
"Wh-Why—
Why won't you say anything?
There's no point anymore in our promise for Mister Serpent not to speak or move when other people are around—
"M-Mister Serpent..."
"Sengoku. Can you hear me?"
Koyomi's low voice continues as if he isn't even registering Nadeko's plea to the Serpent—
"Listen to me. Put it down," Big Brother says. "That talisman—put it on the floor."
So says.
Big Brother Koyomi.
“…………………”
…………………
The talisman?
That talisman?
It was inserted into this pinup magazine—a bookmark.
An image of the Ouroboros.
He's talking about... Mister Serpent's object of worship?
"B—"
Hm?
Is there something—wrong here? Am i mistaken?
Hold on a sec—in other words...Big Brother knows why Nadeko is searching through his room?
Even without an explanation from Mister Serpent—why is that?
i mean, Big Brother Koyomi shouldn't know anything—
"B..."
Nadeko—with the magazine still on her lap—just barely gets her neck to turn.
"Big Brother... Wh-Why?"
Then she asks him.
"Why—do you always.. .know everything?"
"I don't know everything, I just know what I know."
Now that i'm looking, it's not just Big Brother Koyomi in his school uniform—next to him is a little blond girl in a dress, Miss Shinobu Oshino.
She's by Big Brother's side—
Like she belongs there.
With a gruesome smile on her face—she's gazing at Nadeko.
Her fangs bared and her chin held high, as if she's looking down on Nadeko—scorning her.
girl who's supposed to be nocturnal is gazing at Nadeko in the middle of the day.
“…”
"Sengoku—”
In contrast, Koyomi looks serious as he stares right at Nadeko.
It's the definition of a piercing gaze.
While it does look like he might be angry, even more than that—he seems worried.
Worried?
No—Nadeko is worrying him.
She's making dear Big Brother—worry.
"That—" he points at the talisman.
The "that" in Nadeko's left hand—he calls it "that."
"That's a lot more dangerous than you think it is—but it's not too late. Yes, you made a small mistake—it's okay. Everyone makes mistakes—and this time, it just happened to be you."
“…”
A mistake? Not too late?
This, the talisman Nadeko is holding, isn't what she thinks it is—what does that mean?
If it's not what Nadeko thinks it is...then what is it that she doesn't?
Really, just how much—does Koyomi know?
And what doesn't he know?
“i-im not...mistaken," Nadeko asserts. Despite the situation, she says it straight to Koyomi's face—i'm timid, yes, but something very precious in Nadeko might fall apart otherwise.
How ridiculous.
Something very precious in Nadeko—already fell apart, a long time ago.
"N...Nadeko is doing...what she ought to do... It's tiresome, but she has to... She doesn't really want to...but she needs to..."
She's only forceful at the beginning—and even the beginning must not have sounded good to anyone else—before it gets more and more confused.
Incoherent.
Nadeko can't stand Big Brother's gaze.. .and turns her head back around to look straight in front of her again.