It's an oddly discreet thing to do, given all her rough words and actions—almost all of her classmates are gathered there.
Is that what she's checking to see?
But what Nadeko does next is what really surprises Nadeko... i know this all sounds confusing, but please understand. i apologize, but Nadeko isn't in a psychological state where she can give a proper explanation. She's not in a physical state to, either—and Nadeko kicks the door.
Kicks it down. Kicks it down?
To describe the kick, it's similar to a technique Karen often uses, a bold, brash, and fearless rolling savate with her legs wide open—the single strike, carrying all her weight, blows the sliding door off its rails and into the class.
Nadeko's body should have close to zero athletic ability. i never imagined it held this much energy—the door slams straight into the teacher's desk and makes a loud noise.
All the students in class turn to look—first at the teacher's desk and the smashed door, then at Nadeko Sengoku as she swaggers in.
Nadeko feels like she's pale and mortified, but there must be rage on her face. The imbalance is confusing.
On the other hand, i've figured out something.
Why Nadeko peeked into the classroom before entering—well, before kicking down the door.
She was checking to see that no students were near the door—in other words, she was making sure no fragments from it would hit anyone when she kicked it down.
This, at the very least, is a relief.
Because while she might seem hotblooded and furious, her actions are calculated and coolheaded—therefore, she might not actually do anything too crazy.
Thank goodness.
Nadeko did just say some awful, abusive things to her homeroom teacher and her old classmate, but apparently she still has some consideration left for her fellow students.
Sure, her grand entry might have been excessive, but at this rate,
maybe she won't say anything too awful to everyone.
Nadeko strides toward the teacher's desk.
And then she faces her class.
"Listen up, you maggots!"
i expected wrong.
This isn't even verbal abuse. i don't want to have to categorize it as language. What kind of a greeting is that?
Everyone in class is staring.
The first thing their eyes ask is, "Who the hell is that?"... Of course, it doesn't take long for them to "dissern" that Nadeko is Nadeko. Really, it's just that her bangs are gone...so it can't be too hard to figure out after a close look.
Also, Nadeko's voice is still the same.
No matter how rough—it may sound now.
"C'mon, you maggots! Speak up!"
Please stop...
Stop... Free Nadeko...
If Nadeko could move her hands the way she wanted, the first thing she would do is put her head in them, not use them to cover her face—but what she does in reality is to slam them on the teacher's desk.
There's so much force that i think the desk might break too—it doesn't, of course, but i do feel like i took a few years off of its lifespan.
No one tries to speak up, of course.
They're staring blankly.
"Listen up, all of you. You need to face reality!"
Nadeko doesn't care—and screams at them.
Yes, it can only be described as a scream. Of anger, piercing—uncontrollable.
"Look at you, letting your precious youth rot away mired in what's already said and done—do you have any idea just how much of a waste that is?! It's totally normal that you can't trust anyone around you, so stop acting butt-hurt about it! You're way too sensitive—hmmmm?!"
i pile it on—beating the teacher's desk again and again as hard as i can.
Like it's Nadeko's sworn enemy.
Like it symbolizes everyone in the room now.
Nadeko beats the teacher's desk—the class.
"Are you only able to make friends with cute and pretty and beautiful people?! Are you only able to like people who already like you back?! If you only want to be around saints, you'd better be ready to be alone for your entire life! If someone you consider a friend gets jealous of you, are you gonna stop being their friend?! Are you gonna cut them out of your life if they lie to you?! Is it goodbye if they do something unforgivable to you?! People think all kinds of things all the time, it's what they do—but are all of you a bunch of massive idiots who don't have a single thought going through your heads?! This is going to go on forever unless you figure out how to cope with it! Are you really gonna be happy that you spent your second year of middle school this way?! Maybe you're thinking that if you ride this out until April you'll be in a new class then, but I'm sorry to tell you that memories are forever! You're going to remember it forever, when you're in high school, when you're in college, when you become adults, even when you start working! You're never gonna be able to forget this absolutely inconceivable middle school class! It'll probably be your most powerful memory! So you need to repaint it, you need to rewrite it, what you need to remember is that no one trusted each Other in class for a while because of some strange charms, but that everyone made up in the end!"
Everyone is stunned silent—as they inch backwards.
Part of it is obviously that they don't know how to respond to Nadeko's unusual behavior. They can't react consciously, but their bodies are moving on their own to distance themselves from Nadeko.
Of course they are.
Nadeko would be the same way.
If a girl i don't know very well in class who barely ever talks
suddenly showed up at school one day spouting all of this nonsense—nonsense?
Suddenly? Is that right?
It somehow feels wrong.
i mean—ever since Nadeko became class president—she's been thinking the things she just said the whole time.
Mister Sasayabu didn't have to tell her.
...She just never did anything.
She didn't do anything, even when he told her.
She didn't bother doing a thing.
Because—well.
It'd be such a pain.
And it would just be so tiring—
"I'd like to tell all of you to go off and die, but I don't even need to bother saying that since you're all as good as dead. Do you understand that, hmmmm? God, I can't believe it—especially the way you took advantage of how well-behaved I am to stick me with a role like class president. Talk about digging your own grave! It's times like this when one of you needs to step up and take charge! What the hell do you think I can do?!"
i can't believe just how defiant i'm acting.
You could say i'm letting it all hang out.
But i'm exactly right.
Making Nadeko class president could only make things worse—
Nadeko-like.
A girl who doesn't do a thing.
Who wants to stay a victim.
"You know what, you really are the worst! A bunch of two-faced hypocrites! You get jealous of your friends, turn on the people you like without a second thought, gossip about everyone you hate, and yet suck up and fawn over them, slap on a fake smile so you never have to confront anyone, and stab them in the back once they believe you! You are the scum of the world! The lowest, most base creatures on Earth! But—
But there was also something real somewhere in there!
Even those lies might have been real, right?!
Nadeko says—screaming.
No, maybe it's the one thing that she didn't scream.
It wasn't a scream. There was no anger.
It may have been a cry.
Nadeko crying out—from her heart.
It might have been a prayer.
"What's the big problem, just go ahead and forgive each other already! Sure, you all hurt each other, but it was only feelings that ended up getting hurt, right? It's not like anyone died! You'll actually end up looking pretty cool if you can forgive each other here!"
With that, like she can't take it any longer—Nadeko even kicks the teacher's desk.
This too, probably—she does after ensuring that everyone got away from it.
"All you liars, traitors, and frauds! Come on and grow hearts big enough to forgive hypocrisy—hmmmm?! Since when did any of you get so important that you're able to pick and choose the people around you? You think you can base your social circles on your likes and dislikes?!"
And then—Nadeko says one last thing.
She cries out, "I hate every single one of you! But goddammit, you're my classmates!"