Nadeko can tell that her pupils are dilating.
And that her face is getting stiff.
She feels the edges of her lips twitching, too—it's not something i can stop, even if i try. It's a physiological reaction.
The wheezing—the motions.
Tsukihi sits there observing all of it.
Something like an eternity seems to pass, but in reality, it must have been a single moment, less than a blink of an eye—in fact, Tsukihi really does blink once before her eyes narrow.
"Huh," she says. "I see. You did know."
“…”
"That's your reaction, clearly. Not surprised, but 'caught out'—well, people like to gossip about Koyomi. It's hard to live normally in this town and not hear about it. Plus, he must have not been hiding it from you unlike with me and Karen.
With that, Tsukihi moves away from her spot below Nadeko and stands up. It looks for a second like she's getting ready to punch Nadeko, but no, Tsukihi opens the door,
i wonder if she's leaving because she feels disgusted by Nadeko, but she just wants to check the hallway.
Glancing back and forth—probably to make sure that Koyomi and Karen aren't anywhere nearby—she closes the door and returns to where she was.
No, not where she was.
Now she's on top of the bed—rising to be eye-to-eye with Nadeko, Tsukihi sits down.
It's a springy bed, so it feels like the ground shakes—or more like everything, including the ground, wobbles back and forth.
She's close.
And, i'm, scared.
If you're thinking that i'm being too afraid of a friend, try sitting there in Nadeko's place.
"All right then, Nadeko," Tsukihi says. Looking straight at Nadeko. "Let's be honest with each other. Woman to woman."
“…”
Is this situation still going to continue?
Isn't it about time for Nadeko to go search for Mister Serpent’s object of worship in a new chapter?
i feel like Tsukihi's favorability rating is plummeting, but...no. She probably doesn't care one bit about her favorability—right, unlike Nadeko.
"When did you find out?" she asks.
"Wh-When? Well, um, i.. .i did hear rumors...b-but before that, beyond that, i see Big Brother Koyomi walking with girls all the time.
What're you doing getting seen like that all the time, Koyomi? i hear Tsukihi mumble.
i sense a little sister's rage at her big brother's carelessness.
"And it's a different girl every time, so i thought they probably weren't his girlfriends…"
"Koyomi is way too careless…”
"Now that i think about it, i might have also seen him riding on Karen's shoulders a number of times..."
"A number of times?!"
"S-So i thought maybe they were all like little sisters to him..."
"A guy with that many girls who're like little sisters to him is somehow way worse than a guy with several girlfriends..."
"But."
But.
Out of all of them, one—was clearly different.
One of them was different.
Not like a little sister, and of course not like a big sister—
"She matched him and just looked like his lover."
"Matched him, huh? You're right—she does," Tsukihi expresses her agreement. "She's a good match for him. To the point where she comes across like the only one for him. Everyone might think Koyomi is the only one for her, but it's actually the other way around."
"i guess that was around last month... Oh, uh, it's already November, so...two months ago."
"Hm. So after we started second term... It took you longer than I expected."
“…”
"Really? Are you sure you're not lying to me?"
Tsukihi turns her eyes to glare at Nadeko.
Her sleepy eyes are wide open, and it's pretty scary.
i' i can feel the force behind them.
"I'm gonna punch you if you're lying, okay?"
1-1 m not..
"In the lower abdomen."
"You're getting even more specific…"
"Hmph. Well, not like it'd mean anything if you lied about it—because my issue with you right now is why you still have a crush on Koyomi knowing he has a girlfriend."
"Y-You have an issue with Nadeko..
i scoot back a little.
It feels like she might punch Nadeko if we're too close.
But Nadeko's back is up against the wall after scooting, and there's nowhere to run...
"What, are you saying it's not an issue?"
"W-Well...it's not like Nadeko—"
This is a tense conversation. Like one wrong answer could instantly send a fist flying... How did i end up in this situation?
It's partly because Nadeko's Mom and Dad found out that she left home, but the biggest reason must be Mister Serpent malfunctioning.
The Serpent continues to stay enwrapped around Nadeko's right wrist. i almost want to call him Mister Scrunchy instead of Mister Serpent at this point.
"It's not like Nadeko is 'skeeming' to steal him away...and i can't win him over...and it's not like i'm hoping that Koyomi and his girlfriend break up, either... i do have feelings of, well...wanting to go out with Koyomi...or i had them, but...if he has a girlfriend, i don't mean to get in his way... i just want to be near him...that's all i need to be satisfied..
"And I have an issue with that!"
Tsukihi smacks Nadeko—or actually doesn't.
i receive the shouted words like a punch in the head—and flinch.
If Nadeko were a snake, she'd turn tail.
"It's so obvious that you like him, but it's not like you want to go out with him? You don't want to be his lover? It doesn't make any sense.
“…”
"You just need to be near him? You're content just liking him? That sounds great, sure, so chaste and modest and nice, but don't you feel like you aren't making any sense at all?"
Tsukihi doesn't try to keep her tone from getting rough. It looks like she's seriously mad at Nadeko—but.
Nadeko doesn't get it.
Why is Tsukihi mad?
And—for Nadeko's sake?
"In other words, is my brother like an idol in a VCR to you? Is he no different from a manga hero you just admire?"
The term VCR is really close to being outdated...
"You like him in a sexual.. .sorry, as a member of the opposite sex, but that's all you mean?"
"E-Even if you're right..." Nadeko hesitantly replies to Tsukihi.
Eyes cast down, as always. Mounting a rebuttal as best i can.
"Feelings for idols and heroes don't have to be weak. You can't say 'that's all' about them... T-TO Nadeko, Big Brother Koyomi is like—
“That's not what I mean," Tsukihi interrupts Nadeko. "I'm saying you're being ambiguous. You claim to have liked him ever since second grade, but you sound so unnaturally sensible about it, until i think about how you invite him over, or wear revealing clothes to seduce him, or sleep in his bed—how assertive you are, pretending he doesn't have a girlfriend, and still not giving up, instead getting a kick out of making him worry."
"G-Getting a kick out of…"
True. i totally am.
"If you'll let me tell you exactly how I feel, then yeah," Tsukihi ads off, asking if she can.
If i have a choice in the matter, i don't want her to, but she doesn't seem eager to "infur" Nadeko's opinion.
"Nadeko," Tsukihi just goes ahead. "Are you playing it safe, with a love that will never be requited?"
"Because if you're in love with someone, you don't have to fall in love with anyone else."
Ideals that are too lofty can ruin people, didn't Miss Hanekawa say? Tsukihi mutters like it's not really her problem.
Well, it really isn't. It's Nadeko's problem.