"Is it all bony? Or is it like a mummy?"
"Dunno.
"About how old is it?"
"Dunno.
"Okay!" Nadeko slapped her knee and said with a big smile.
"With all of that to go by, i've practically found it alrea—hold on a gosh dern second!!"
Nadeko found herself playing the straight man.
Going along with it for a while and then interrupting herself, at that. Even Big Brother Koyomi doesn't do that one much.
The fake accent was downright cringeworthy, too.
"H-How am i supposed to find it. .. So basically, you don't know anything."
"I suppose you could put it that way."
It was the only way i could put it.
Language isn't that expressive.
In fact, it might be easier to find a needle in a haystack—because at least in that case, you know there's a needle somewhere in the haystack.
Not that i don't have a hard time understanding why you would ever need to find a needle in a haystack...
"There's no way.. .no way i could do that, even if Nadeko spent her whole life trying. Even if i kept on trying after being reborn as a princess.
"Why are you assuming that you'd be reborn as a princess? Well, no, don't worry. That's why I've merged with you, Nadeko—as far as channels go, there are none I have a stronger connection to than my own corpse—that object of worship. You should be able to find it in no time at all if the two of us are one."
"No time at all…"
"If you give it your best."
"i don't want to give it Nadeko's best..."
"Could you please for once?"
So the scrunchy enwrapping Nadeko's wrist was going to act as a dowsing rod? Then it really might be easier than finding a needle in a haystack.
But still.
"...ls there a possibility it doesn't exist anymore?" i asked. "Because it's been destroyed or burnt?" "There is...and in that case, we'll just have to give up.
Mister Serpent said this like he was being gallant.
If he really was, though, maybe he should have forgotten about getting Nadeko's help to begin with.
i'd have given up, if i were Mister Serpent, upon realizing that Nadeko was the only person who could help.
“..How much time do we have? By when does Nadeko need to...find Mister Serpent's object of worship?"
"Not a clue—I'm like a candle in the wind, ready to go out at any moment. I'm relying on your energy now to continue being in this world—but again, you're like a backup battery. Our standards don't line up, unfortunately..."
"Standards?"
"It's like keeping something plugged in for too long to a foreign power outlet—don't worry, I don't plan on taking over your body or anything, and I'm not going to stay merged with you until you die. If you don't want to do this, dear, you can just wait it out and I'll eventually disappear."
“…”
"You've got two choices. Give it your best or bear it.
“…”
It seemed like he was set on giving Nadeko a choice—but from Nadeko’s perspective, i didn't have any.
At least, that's what i thought.
i didn't want to have to keep wearing the tacky scrunchy, and anyway, giving it her best and bearing it are the same to Nadeko.
“I’ll help you look... But Mister Serpent," Nadeko said.
"i can still go to school, right?"
"Hmmmm?
"E-Er...i mean, can i still lead a normal life? N-Nadeko... d-doesn't want people to be suspicious of her."
"People? Who do you mean?”
“…Big Brother Koyomi," Nadeko gave a straight answer to the Serpent's question. "Because i told him it was nothing...that it was just Nadeko's imagination."
“...? In that case, dear, shouldn't you be saying that you don't want him to worry, rather than be suspicious of you? Isn't that why you lied to him?"
"W-Well…”
i messed up. i slipped up.
"I thought," the Serpent pressed, "you lied to him despite wanting him to save you because you didn't want him to worry—was I wrong?"
"N-No, you're not... Yes, that's it. i don't want him to worry. To worry…”
Mister Serpent gave a questioning look at the way Nadeko sounded like she was taking it back, but maybe he decided it wasn't important. "Whatever," he dismissed. "That's what we'll do, then— you're right, I can't ask you to spend all your time, day or night, for my sake. That'd be too brazen. And anyway, if you're going to be searching for my corpse, that's to say, object of worship, it's better if you're doing it at night."
“…”
"Okay, so it's decided. Days are yours, and nights are mine. As a show of gratitude for your self-sacrifice, I vow not to infringe on your private time—”
…
That was what happened last night.
It might be a little confusing because of how long it was, but all of that was a flashback. Now, i'm arguing with the Serpent on the landing of the stairs leading up to the school's off-limits roof. Wait, no—now.
i'm in the middle of fighting Koyomi to the death now.
All of this is what's flashing before Nadeko's eyes, a kalaidoscope of revolving memories.
Regrets flying through her mind.
This whole time i've been thinking how Nadeko Sengoku could have gotten off what seems like her single-tracked fate—so.
Let's get back to this turning kalaidoscope.
Spin spin spin spin.
"—Liar. And you're a god, too."
"Hold on... Sure, it was a lie when I said I'm taciturn, and I did vow not to infringe on your private time, but I never claimed that I wouldn't talk. The mortal world is a novel thing to a god—well, actually, scratch that. It's the same as it ever was."
"They say that the heavens don't talk, they make men talk instead—but I'm a talkative god. I don't mean to make any trouble for you, though. I don't mean to turn you into a 'pitiful girl'...there's no point in doing that. All right, all right, so I just need to stay quiet."
"Fine, I won't just stay quiet, I'll get some shut-eye. Happy?"
I'm not the type to talk in my sleep, either, the Serpent promises.
"This is hibernating season, anyway...
"Yeah. But please don't actually hibernate. Be sure to wake up at night, because Nadeko can't do anything on her own—
And.
Just as Nadeko is making herself clear to Mister Serpent.
"Hey, Nadeko? What're you doing over there?"
i hear a voice coming from behind.
To be precise, it's coming from down the stairs—from Nadeko's teacher, Mister Sasayabu, who is looking up toward her.
Mister Sasayabu's nickname is Panda-sensei. Not because he looks like a panda (in fact, he's skinny) but only because of his name, which means "bamboo grass"—though Year 2, Class 2 is no longer the kind of place that calls its homeroom teacher by a nickname.
Nadeko replies as she turns around, a little concerned about the hem of her skirt given the angle between us on the stairs.
"i'm nothing."
A slip of the tongue.
i mix together "i'm fine" with "It's nothing" and end up sounding like a girl who's up for anything.
Mister Sasayabu tilts his head.
Of course he does.
"i'm fine," Nadeko simply restates. She lacks the wit to turn a misstep into a joke and land on her feet.. .and just feels embarrassed.
It will be enough to make Nadeko feel depressed for about three days.
"i-i just tried to go up to the roof for a breath of fresh air, but then, it, the door, was locked.. .and Nadeko found herself at an im, im, im—
i try to say "impass," but the word seems so hollow in its formality that i stutter.
“…”
From there, Nadeko falls silent.
i don't like lying.
No, it's not that i don't like it, i'm just bad at it...
Even now, having lied reflexively, i can't stop looking at the floor.
"C'mon, Sengoku. You ought to know that the roof is off-limits. Haven't I always told you guys?"
Nadeko can't reply to Mister Sasayabu's completely accurate statement.
i go quiet when things get difficult.
That's who Nadeko is, glad to make your acquaintance.
It's true that Nadeko knew that the roof was off-limits, and it's because people don't come this way that i chose it for a "confedential " talk with Mister Serpent...
Mister Sasayabu probably passed by after supervising a club's morning practice—i believe he's the advisor for the wind instruments club, which meets in the music room.
“...i m sorry.”
In the end, Nadeko apologizes out loud because it's just as hard staying quiet in front of her homeroom teacher.
Between the Silence and Apology commands, i picked Apology.
Nadeko doesn't need to lower her head.
She is looking at the floor, so it's like her head is already bowing—though maybe it doesn't look that way because Nadeko is on these stairs, as i said earlier, and higher up than Mister Sasayabu.
"It's almost first bell," he tells me.
He seems to have put Nadeko's suspicious behavior aside—he's looking at her the way adults often do, in other words, maybe not at a "pitiful girl" but at a "vexing girl."
If you were to put it into words, it says, "There seems to be some kind of problem here, but dealing with it would be tiresome."
i wish they knew how much it hurts when they look at a child that way.. .but i don't have the courage to say so.
Plus it's tiresome for Nadeko, too.