Running away is a decision, an active one in a sense.
Nadeko can't do that.
And yet i ran straightaway that day—without even looking back once, and that's because—yes.
It was Miss Hanekawa.
Nadeko could feel it on her skin.
How do i explain it—a body heat—that changed the temperature of everything around us.
A person's warmth.
i could feel it in the air without even touching her—the amount of heat.
It was like i was looking at a fire.
...i later found out that Miss Hanekawa is a very good person.
i'm not as scared of her now as i was back then, but i'm still sure that there's something different about her—and now Koyomi just has to say her name to make Nadeko flinch.
What happened, i asked.
If anything i meant what did Miss Hanekawa do now—though that's rude.
"No, nothing happened. It's just that she's on a trip at the moment."
"A trip?" Nadeko tilts her head at the unexpected answer. A trip?
"But school's still in session.
"Yeah... But she took paid leave..."
"Paid leave?!"
i'm shocked.
Do high schools have that kind of a system in place?
Or rather, are those rumors about Miss Hanekawa getting paid to go to school actually true? How frightening.
"Sorry, not paid leave. She requested an absence and got approved.. .and she's taking a trip for a whole month. It's not like she has to worry about attendance since she's not planning on going to college or getting a job after graduation, but you know how serious my Hanekawa is. She wanted to do everything by the book..."
"Huh. So where did she go on this trip?"
"Around the world."
"Around the world?!"
i'm shocked again.
But this shock is different from last time—because Miss Hanekawa's plan after graduation was, yes, to "see the world" instead of going to college or getting a job.
The rumor is that she felt an affinity for the way Mister Oshino lives, but i don't know if that's true—still.
Around the world?
"S-So...she moved up her schedule?"
"Oh, no. She said that if she's going to see the world after graduating, she wants to do a run-through while she's still in school and can tell people she's a student when they ask who she is."
"A run-through..."
She really is extraordinary. Doing a location hunt before going to see the world. .. i guess Nadeko's assumptions were right.
"Apparently it's also like a rehearsal... I mean, it's not like we can't get in touch with her. She has her cell phone, but I just don't want to worry her while she's abroad."
It feels like Koyomi's consideration for Miss Hanekawa isn't the same as being mindful—he normally wants to call her even when there's no reason to.
Maybe it's specifically when he does have a reason that he doesn't want to call her?
It's a strange way of relating to someone.
"So...evening?" i ask.
"Yeah. Go home and wait—I'll call you. Uhh. Shinobu usually wakes up around ten at night... Assume I'll call you around then."
"Yes...okay," i nod to agree with Koyomi's plan.
Ten at night. i don't have any plans, of course.
There's a show on TV that is want to watch, but it's fine. The HDD is set to record it.
"Call me whenever if anything else happens before then—I don't think I'll be able to do anything, but I can at least be near you."
Near Nadeko.
Does that mean he'll be by Nadeko's side?
"Yes... Thanks. But i think i'll be okay."
No snake is going to scare Nadeko if Koyomi will be there to save her.
i just need to be careful around cracks and shadows, and even if something does happen, the worst of it is that i get surprised.
"So, ten tonight. i'm looking forward to it."
"Hunh?"
Koyomi's reply sounds like a low growl.
Hunh, Nadeko thinks too, though with a different meaning and intonation.
Uh oh, i misspoke.
"Hey, Sengoku—are you sure you're okay? What do you mean, you're looking forward to it... Aren't you in a fix?"
“...Um."
i fall silent.
It's hard for Nadeko to find the words.
It's hard—for Nadeko to find an excuse.
"Maybe I should get over there right now? You sound confused—what you just said worries me. Looking forward to anything that has to do with aberrations...”
"N-No, that's not it..."
i can tell through the receiver that Koyomi is concerned about Nadeko—and Nadeko feels very bad about that.
“...i'm sorry.”
But in the end, Nadeko can't explain herself and just apologizes.
Nadeko has a habit of apologizing when she doesn't know what to say—i fall silent or apologize.
That's all Nadeko knows to do when she's in trouble.
The only way she could make it through life.
Don't just be saying sorry whenever you're in trouble, you know—we wouldn't need the police if apologies made everything better, and that maxim is true on a much deeper level than most people think, the exceptional Miss Hanekawa once told Nadeko.
The words made Nadeko gasp.
i haven't been able to act on them at all, though.
i suppose being moved by someone's advice doesn't necessarily change your life.
"i'm sorry.. .Big Brother Koyomi."
"Er, it's nothing you need to apologize for..."
"It's okay. i'm okay, so.. .l-let's just meet this evening. U-Um... ten, right?"
"Wait, Sengoku—
"N-Nadeko's phone card is about to run out. Oh no, it's beeping, it's beeping a lot. It's going beeep, beeep."
Click.
i put the receiver back on the handle.
Nadeko's card comes out of the phone with about half of its balance (i got it as a bonus at Animate. You're actually using it?! Koyomi once teased Nadeko.)
Oh dear.
i barely got out of that one... No, that's an awful way to put it when Nadeko worried Big Brother by slipping up and saying something he had every right to be mad about. Not to mention, it was close to the worst possible way to get out of a bad situation.
Still, i really misspoke there.
i don't even have the words to describe how badly i misspoke.
i'm looking forward to it? Yes, the words that slipped out of Nadeko's mouth were her true feelings, but she should never have given voice to them.
Big Brother Koyomi.
Somewhere in Nadeko's heart—she was happy she was getting to go on another aberration "advencher" with him.
Getting to be saved by Big Brother Koyomi.
Nadeko let herself feel thrilled.
When i saw the white snake—after the first time, i wasn't surprised, probably because there was something i felt even more than fear or shock. Joy.
Now Nadeko gets to ask Big Brother for help.
was always on her mind. i must have been waiting for the opportunity.
.How embarrassing. But it was my honest feeling.
Nadeko Sengoku wanted to be saved by Big Brother Koyomi—just like that time.
Really embarrassed that i'm taking advantage of Koyomi's kindness, and gripped with anxiety that Big Brother might have noticed, Nadeko reaches out to grab her phone card.
Then, once again, a white snake appears, from underneath it—i'm not surprised by now, of course, but it's been a little while so it does catch Nadeko off guard and she instinctively pulls back her hand.
When i do, it hits the pay phone, and the receiver falls off the hook—the cord bounces up and down, stretching and shrinking like a snake.
The brief distraction is all that the white snake needs to vanish.
"Oh... i forgot to ask him about Miss Ogi. As the unrelated thought goes through her mind, Nadeko reaches to grab the receiver.
"Seriously, though.. .what's going on here?"
It's strange.
There's a reason for every aberration—but this time, too, Nadeko can't think of a single thread that ties her to any—
"Come on, my dear little Nadeko, isn't that a bit cold—hmmmm?"
A voice.
It comes—from the receiver, knocked off its hook.
No, impossible.
Nadeko took her phone card out of the machine, and already hung up anyway—what's more, the voice sounded nothing like Koyomi's. How might i put it? There isn't a shred of kindness or caring—it's rough, violent.
"You aren't aware of any reason—that's too much for me to take, you know. Ugh, brats like you with no self-awareness are the most annoying of all—you don't have the first clue who you're trampling on as you go about your life."
“...Wh-Who..."
Nadeko brings the receiver close to her face and calls to the voice.
Nadeko is so shaken that it probably comes out in her words, too, but i have to ask.
After hearing that tone—which sounded like it was attacking Nadeko.
i can't stay silent.
"Wh-Who—are you?"
But there's no answer.
Instead—what i get instead of an answer is the white snake.
And not just one.
Tons of them come out from the tiny holes on both ends of the receiver like pasta oozing out of an extruder—
"Ah, aaaahhh!!"
i do scream.
It's not about these being snakes as much as it's the grotesque imagery—visuals sure to be cut from the anime.
Naturally, they too are a hallucination.
By the time Nadeko steps away from the pay phone—they're gone.
"Come to Kita-Shirahebi Shrine, my dear," a voice beckons from the receiver, now free of any white snakes.
From that distance there's no way i should be able to hear—the voice.
What's going on?
Am i not just seeing things, but hearing them now?
What's wrong with Nadeko?
With Nadeko's head?
Ignoring her confusion, the voice continues, "I'll tell you there—who you've been trampling on as you go about your life."
“…”
"No one's a victim, okay? There are only victimizers in this world—how deluded every last one of you sons of bitches are."