The shock of it made me unable to pull my hand back, and while still frozen, Nanami winked at me, as if to say, Mission accomplished! or something. I thought I heard someone whistle nearby.
“They’re so close, they even feed each other,” someone remarked.
“Now I really feel like I’ve returned to Japan,” someone else said.
“Were those two like that even in Hawaii?” another asked.
“I’m surprised the locals didn’t shoot them,” someone else muttered.
What a flurry of comments. It seemed the people around us totally saw us feeding each other, though they seemed not to have caught Nanami, um...licking my fingers. Maybe she did it just for a moment, precisely so that others wouldn’t see. She had such a smug expression on her face that I had to believe that was precisely her intention.
She really got me.
Both my cheeks were hot. For a moment, I toyed with the idea of sucking on the fingers she had just licked, but given that we were in public, I couldn’t even do that.
“Dammit, I’m so gonna get you back for this,” I murmured bitterly—though that only made Nanami grin more broadly, her eyes filled with glee.
It was almost as though she was asking, without uttering a single word, Gosh, I sure do wonder what pervy things you’ll do to me. At least, that was what I heard her saying in my mind.
“Anyway, getting back on topic: Is there a reason you forgot your birthday? Like, you have a bad memory of it or something?” Nanami asked.
That’s right, we were talking about birthdays just now.
Contrary to her demeanor from just a moment ago, Nanami was now looking at me with concern in her eyes. To forget something because we had bad associations with it was an idea that Nanami and I could both relate to.
I had forgotten an unfortunate incident that happened in elementary school, while Nanami couldn’t recall the incident that made her feel uncomfortable around men.
While I had managed to remember what happened to me, it wasn’t really a memory I wanted to revisit. It was a minor incident in my life as an elementary school student, but it was traumatic nonetheless.
And since I had such an experience, it wasn’t unreasonable for Nanami to think I had a similarly negative association with my birthday as well.
Except this time, I didn’t have any particularly bad or unhappy memory that I could remember. Though I didn’t actually remember much from my elementary school days anyway.
This was probably just a case of me not remembering my birthday, just like the way I might be sensitive toward things having to do with other people, but not toward things related to myself. There were no emotional underlayers to reveal, or some key formative recollection to unearth. I had just forgotten it, simple as that.
“Did you usually celebrate your birthday and Christmas together, since they’re both in December?” Nanami asked.
“No, fortunately my parents celebrated my birthday and Christmas separately. I’m sure it was a pricey decision, since the dates are so close together, so I’m really grateful to them for that,” I replied.
“Yeah, your parents kind of do seem the type to do something like that,” Nanami remarked. “But if that’s the case, then wouldn’t you remember your birthday even more?”
“I told them once that we could celebrate my birthday and Christmas together since I felt bad, but then they scolded me and told me that kids shouldn’t worry about such things,” I shared.
“Then that’s more reason you should remember...”
Whoops, Nanami’s getting even more exasperated.
Still, that was easier said than done. I really couldn’t help that I had forgotten about it. After all, we had tests, and then we went to Hawaii for our class trip, and then I got sick as soon as I got back to Japan. So I just didn’t have time to think about my birthday. Honestly, my brain’s capacity for what it could handle at any given time was relatively small, so Nanami even managing to remember my birthday at all seemed astonishing to me.
For Nanami, birthdays were probably exciting occasions. I had a feeling she was the type to plan for them days in advance to make them extra special. One more way in which we were so different. But was that really the case here?
“I mean, the last time I think I celebrated my birthday with friends was before middle school,” I explained. “And it never became much of a topic at school to begin with.”
In other words, a birthday wasn’t a terribly big deal for a loner like me. Yeah, this theory makes the most sense.
But now Nanami looks like she’s going to cry any minute. Wait, why is she so sad all of a sudden?
“Yoshin, let’s go all out to celebrate your birthday this year, okay?!” Nanami said, powerfully, her hands gripped into fists.
Uh, you don’t have to get all worked up about it. It’s just my birthday. And since Christmas and New Year’s are coming up soon after, wouldn’t it be too crazy to have so many events in a row? Let’s not push ourselves so much.
Oh, but maybe that’s the reason my parents never combined my birthday with Christmas: Since I couldn’t spend it with my friends, at least they would be around to celebrate it with me. I’ve really made them worry, haven’t I. I should’ve thought about it long before this. Maybe I should spend my birthday with Nanami, so that my parents can see they don’t have to worry about me as much anymore.
“Speaking of, what did you talk about with my parents? You asked them when my birthday was?” I asked Nanami.
“Yeah, your parents came home after you fell asleep, so when they came back I asked about your birthday. We chatted about a bunch of different stuff too,” she replied.
I guess it’s the “bunch of different stuff” part that scares me...
It was precisely because I didn’t really remember things myself that hearing Nanami ask about my past birthdays was a little embarrassing. But given that it was Nanami, I didn’t much mind her finding out about that kind of thing. Since my parents didn’t mention anything to me, though, I wanted to believe that they didn’t tell her anything weird.
“What did you hear, exactly?” I inquired, with some hesitation.
“Hm? Oh, I asked them what kinds of gifts you liked, or what kinds of food they cooked for you. And how old you were when you stopped believing in Santa Claus.”
I see, research about my birthday...wait, that last bit has nothing to do with my birthday?
“It was so cute of you to believe in Santa Claus all the way through elementary school,” Nanami commented.
Now that, I remembered—which made me feel even more embarrassed. In fact, I remembered thinking even in seventh grade that maybe, just maybe, Santa was real.
“But yeah, I get it too. I mean, there’s a part of me that still believes that maybe Santa really is real,” Nanami remarked, unexpectedly, when she saw how my brows furrowed in embarrassment. Her shy laugh in response made it seem like she was unsure how I would take her statement.
That was why I decided to speak honestly about what was on my mind.
“I think a part of me still believes that Santa is real,” I said.
People might think that it was silly for a high schooler to feel that way, but when it came to Santa Claus, I wanted to be able to dream—and believe that somewhere, somehow, he actually existed. I didn’t necessarily need him to pass out presents to all the different households in the world; I just wanted him to exist as Santa Claus. That was what I wanted to believe.
Maybe it seemed too much like a fairy tale, but thinking that seemed like more fun.
“Hee hee, then I guess we feel the same way,” Nanami said.
And with that simple remark, I felt glad that I had shared my thoughts with her, even if I felt embarrassed. Seeing Nanami’s smile made me feel almost shy, but more than anything I wanted to be able to protect her smile somehow.
“So, what kind of things did you do for your birthdays?” Nanami asked.
“Huh? I thought you heard about it from my parents,” I replied, confused.
“I mean, they told me how they remembered you on your birthdays, but we didn’t talk specifics about what you did.”
“I guess I mostly just played games. And then at night my mom would make us a nice dinner, and then we’d have cake and stuff,” I answered.
I felt bad giving such a boring response, but since most birthdays fell on weekdays and weren’t days off, without anything special happening at school, they were no different from regular weekdays.
That was why I mostly just played games on those days. The only special things that happened were birthday events and special greetings from characters in my games.
I supposed in that sense, aside from my family, the only people who wished me happy birthday were game characters and my online teammates. Now that I thought about it, maybe I would’ve eventually realized that it was my birthday at some point because of the notifications from my game.
“I guess Baron-san and everyone wished me happy birthday,” I finally said.
“Does that include Peach-chan too?” Nanami asked.
“Yeah. We weren’t doing voice chats back then, so it was only text, but I guess they did celebrate it with me.”
As I sat there, nostalgic over past birthday greetings, Nanami’s face suddenly folded into a dissatisfied pout. Huh? Now she’s pouting? Why?
I was slightly shocked by how quickly her smile had disappeared, but Nanami continued expressing her displeasure by saying, “So you’ve gotten birthday wishes from other girls before, huh.”
Whoa, whoa, whoa. What is with that adorable jealousy?
Through her pout Nanami was casting small glances at me, her lips still pursed, and something about that sight made me smile, my heart brimming with inexplicable warmth. I was about ready to get up and start asking people if they could see just how cute my girlfriend was, but then I saw that Nanami’s pout was getting pretty serious, so I decided it was better to try to placate her.