Being able to see the person you wanted to see, whenever you wanted to see them, was a very joyful thing indeed.
Unfortunately, though, being able to do so whenever somehow lessened that happiness. You started taking it for granted and feeling less grateful. You started assuming—mistakenly—that that was your everyday life.
Maybe calling it a mistaken assumption was a bit much, but I did think something like that in the past—that I shouldn’t take things like that for granted. But when did I think that?
Oh, I remember: It was when Nanami and I first started going out, and I thought to myself that I shouldn’t think that my time with her was going to be the norm. That it was definitely out of the ordinary.
I still felt that way, but even then, I could no longer imagine being separated from Nanami. We did all that stuff in Hawaii too, after all.
To suddenly be unable to see the person you were always with came with a strong sense of loss. That was how I was feeling now—because when I woke up from my nap, all I wanted was to see Nanami.
I did wonder whether it was okay that I felt this way, seeing as how we’d only been apart for half...maybe one day at most. Was I actually becoming too dependent on her?
Maybe I was just feeling lonesome right now because it was my first time in a long time that I was sick. Still, I didn’t expect to start having auditory hallucinations and conjuring up Nanami in my head.
“Hey, Yoshin? You seem spaced out. Are you okay?”
I saw Nanami, sitting next to me, waving her hand in front of my face. Wow, auditory hallucinations these days are pretty impressive. It’s like Nanami is actually here with me, like it’s VR. Modern times, huh? Though I’ve never used VR before.
Okay, let’s face it: Nanami is actually, really here. I’m overjoyed, but...
“Um, why...are you here, Nanami?” I managed to ask.
“Hee hee! I came to take care of you!” she declared.
“Wow, thanks,” I muttered, before breaking out in a cough.
“Oh, don’t force yourself to talk. Just keep resting. You want tea? Or a sports drink?” she asked.
“Um...a sports drink, please.”
Nanami flashed me a peace sign and then immediately rushed to stop me as I tried to get up. She seemed a little too excited, somehow, like something was making her giddy.
Is she worked up because I’m so weak right now? I didn’t want to believe that. This was bad—being ill was making me think weird thoughts.
Nanami poured a sports drink into a cup, put a straw in it, and brought the tip of the straw to my mouth. I sucked on it while still lying down, feeling the drink flow into my mouth. It was weird to drink something without holding the cup myself.
The cold and faintly sweet liquid traveled down my throat, its coolness spreading throughout my body all the way down to my stomach. I had eaten lunch, but maybe my stomach was still basically empty.
The drink had perhaps done too good of a job for my feverish body; I started to shiver. At once Nanami asked me if I was cold and pulled the covers up toward my chin. Maybe my fever was worse than I realized. My head was feeling cooler after a few more sips, though. Okay, let’s try this again...
“Why are you here, Nanami?” I asked.
Maybe it was because of the fever, but I could only speak in short sentences. My voice also sounded lower than usual, so a part of me worried that I might come off as sounding annoyed. I quickly tried to explain that that wasn’t the case, but Nanami just laughed softly, as if she already understood.
“I mean, I’m grateful you’re here,” I murmured.
“No worries, it’s rough having a fever, right? Here, just lie down. I bought a bunch of things. You want some jelly or something?” she asked, still smiling and tapping me softly on my chest. She was acting like she was putting a baby to bed, and a heat that wasn’t from the fever spread across my cheeks.
Nanami must have seen that I was growing calmer, though, because she kept patting my chest. It was embarrassing, but I also felt more at ease.
“I rushed over after school. I figured you would be feeling lonely being at home by yourself, especially with Shinobu-san out and stuff. Everyone else wanted to come too, but—”
“Everyone?” I asked softly.
“Hatsumi and Ayumi and Kenbuchi-kun and stuff. Kotoha-chan and Teshikaga-kun wanted to come too, and all the other kids were worried. But we figured it wasn’t good for all of us to show up, so I came by myself,” she explained.
Wow, everyone’s worried about me? I never thought they’d be concerned about me like that. Or maybe Nanami was super worried and it just spread to other people. I have got to be more careful with my health... Wait, huh? Something seems off.
I was so grateful Nanami had rushed over after school to see me. She even bought a bunch of food, which I was thankful for too. And the fact that others worried about me... I felt bad about that, but it also made me super happy. Yeah, there wasn’t anything weird about that either.
Plus I was by myself, and even though I was fine being alone before, right now I felt pretty lonesome, so the fact that Nanami came...
Ah, that’s what it is—how did Nanami know that my mom was out and that I was alone at home? Did my mom ask Nanami to look after me? Even though Nanami’s my girlfriend, I’m not sure why my mom would ask her to do something like that. I feel like there’s something...wrong about that. Though I can’t really say why.
“Did my mom get in touch with you?” I asked.
“No, I was the one that got in touch with Shinobu-san. I asked her if you were home alone,” Nanami explained.
“And that’s why you came?”
“Yeah, I told her that you were probably lonely being by yourself and asked if it was okay for me to take care of you. She said at first that that would be too much trouble for me, but I managed to convince her.”
Nanami then told me that my mom had asked her to take care of me because I probably was feeling lonesome, and to make up for the fact that she couldn’t be here for me herself. Nanami stuck her tongue out shyly as she said that.
Oh, I see. Rather than my mom contacting her, Nanami had contacted my mom instead. I guess that’s normal. It’s not that weird...right? But really, isn’t my mom treating me a bit too much like a kid? I mean, I guess I am a kid. But as a high schooler I can’t help but be a little embarrassed. But is this kind of situation normal? Not that I’m not grateful, but still.
“Am I bothering you?” Nanami asked, furrowing her brows and looking into my eyes with concern. Her expression seemed conflicted, torn between being glad that she had come and wondering if it was okay for her to have shown up like this.
On my end, I wanted to applaud my mother for giving Nanami permission to visit me. I missed Nanami desperately. A job well-done, indeed—though that made me sound like a pompous jerk.
“Not at all,” I answered. “Besides, my mom would’ve said no if she really thought it was a bad idea.”
That was why there was no problem with the fact that Nanami was here. Right. Nothing felt odd; it must have just been the fever preventing my brain from working properly.
“Huh? Nanami is here?” I said again suddenly.