Nanami: I’ll skip school and go take care of you!
She wasn’t asking about coming over; she was declaring that she was.
I’d never heard someone missing school for a reason like that. I mean, that wasn’t normal, was it? What kind of a high schooler missed school because she was going to go take care of her sick boyfriend? Anyway, that was what Nanami had tried to do, but...
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Nanami: My mom said I couldn’t...
As expected, she wasn’t allowed to do so.
Well, obviously. That was the normal decision. Sure, I felt mildly bummed out about it, but if you thought about it seriously, there was no way one could say yes to such a request.
After that, Nanami sent me messages pretty regularly, clearly worried. We were texting even while I was waiting at the hospital.
In the end, I’d gotten worried about her. I mean, my messages to her were getting marked as read even when it was clearly during class time. And she was even responding!
And sure enough, Nanami soon got scolded by the teacher, which was pretty rare for her. They didn’t take away her phone, but she did seem to get quite the talking-to.
Her messages became less frequent after that, and with less to distract me I got sleepy and took a nap.
“There can’t possibly be a ton more messages, right?” I said softly to myself after I awoke.
Feeling nervous, I picked up the phone from where I left it on my nightstand. Tapping the screen revealed an impressive number of unread messages that had come in while I was asleep. When I looked at the times they were sent, though, they seemed to have been sent between classes. That was a relief.
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Nanami: Yoshin, are you okay? I’ll come visit you after school. Don’t worry about replying right away, just get some rest.
Seeing Nanami’s message made me feel a bit lighter inside, though my reaction surprised me a little bit.
When I read through the other messages, I saw that they were from the others in the class.
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Otofuke: Heard you caught a cold. You doing all right? Nanami’s having withdrawals because you’re not here, so when you’re feeling better, be sure to send her a message.
Kamoenai: Are you okay?? Did being too naughty with Nanami get you sick? She’s sitting in your seat and talking about absorbing all your chemical compounds, so things are not looking good.
Hitoshi: You alive, man? We got a lot of fun stuff coming up this winter so don’t push it, all right? Also, Barato is being real scary, like, super scary, so please try to calm her down.
Shirishizu: Misumai-kun, Nanami-chan gets sad when you’re not here, and when Nanami-chan is sad I can’t make out with Taku-chan. So please take your time and get well real soon. Don’t overexert yourself.
Reading through all these thoughtful messages filled me with gratitude, but all the mentions of Nanami had me concerned.
Seriously, what are you doing, Nanami?!
Nanami seemed to be behaving more bizarrely than I thought. I figured she might be kind of lonely, but everyone was making her sound pretty unpredictable. What should I do?
Well, I guess I just had to let it be. Seeing everyone’s messages, though, helped me understand why my chest felt lighter earlier.
“Maybe I’m not okay being alone anymore,” I murmured.
In the past, when I’d been sick, I’d been left by myself. My parents would have work, and just like this time, I’d insist that they didn’t need to stay with me and that they should go to work instead. Of course, I wouldn’t have friends to check up on me. I would just sleep and keep sleeping, all by myself. I didn’t remember clearly, but even after I got better, I just went to school and didn’t talk to anybody anyway. I didn’t feel one way or the other about it, and if anything, while sick I would play games and think that it wouldn’t be so bad to stay sick for a bit longer.
I was alone no matter where I was, so what I did wouldn’t change anyway.
But seeing the messages from Nanami and everyone else, I found myself thinking something very uncharacteristic of me: that I wanted to get better soon so that I could go back to school.
I wasn’t sure if not being able to be alone meant that I had gotten stronger or weaker, but either way, I knew what I was feeling now wasn’t a bad thing.
Maybe because I’d gotten some sleep, I had managed to recover somewhat. I sat up a bit in bed, phone in hand.
“I’ll eat something and reply, and then maybe sleep some more.”
My mom had probably prepped food for me, so I should eat and then rest some more after. I should probably also refrain from playing games today.
All so that I could get better as soon as possible.
With those thoughts in mind, I slowly made my way out of my room.
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♢♢♢
Dreams you had when you were sick were almost impossible to describe in words.
They were a mix of nightmares and memories and sometimes neither of those things, but always chaotic. In other words, they had no consistency whatsoever.
The dream I was currently having was pretty chaotic indeed. I was there, as myself from around elementary school. And there was also Nanami, as her normal high schooler self. I wasn’t crying, but I looked kind of sad.
A dream where you knew you were dreaming...a lucid dream, was it called? The present me seemed to have a bird’s-eye view of the me from the past, looking on from above. This was an impossible scenario, but I was overcome by the feeling that this scene had actually taken place in real life.
Nanami said something to me, and I said something in return. Nanami then reached out toward me, and I took her hand. I couldn’t see the expression on her face, but with our hands in each other’s, the two of us began walking. Even though I couldn’t see her, I felt like Nanami was smiling.
What about my expression, then?
And that was when I woke up.
What was that dream just now? Did I just really, really want to see Nanami? Even then, why was I a kid?
I guess there was no use questioning dreams. If anything, that dream was probably easier to interpret than others. It was true that I wanted to see her.
“Nanami,” I mumbled without thinking. But I was alone even if I coughed, and I was still alone even if I called her name out loud. There was no way anyone was going to respond.
“What is it, Yoshin?”
There was no way, and yet...
Huh? Did someone just reply? Am I still dreaming? I feel like I just heard the voice I’ve been wanting to hear, and from super close to me, to boot.
I moved while still lying on the bed and turned my head toward the direction of the voice.
And there...was the person I most wanted to see.