“I’m talking about a picture. I wanted to surprise people with it. The world might be aiming a little high, but every painter has that desire secretly lurking deep within, telling them they’re an artist.”
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"............" I was stunned.
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“The girl is just a model. She’s nothing more than that to me, personally, but I wonder if Kotoe-chan didn’t mistake her for my girlfriend. That might have caused her to act out like she has. So I plan to find Kotoe, and talk to her, clear things up.”
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He smiled softly as he spoke.
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“I. . .see,” I managed to nod.
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I felt like a decisive moment has just passed me by.
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“I apologize for being so harsh earlier, but, you see, I was embarrassed. I didn’t really doubt your friendship with Kotoe-chan,” Asukai Jin said, and bowed his head.
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"............" I couldn’t answer.
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There was nothing left for me to say.
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No matter how much I asked, he wasn’t going to give me any more than this.
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There was nothing else for me to do.
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“Thank you,” I said, weakly rising to my feet.
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As I was about to leave, I turned back. “Oh, one more thing...
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what did you mean by ‘sacrifice?”’ I asked. “You said, ‘I have to sacrifice the girl.’ That’s not exactly a pleasant image.”
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“Well, she’s a model. She has to remain in the exactly the same position for eight hours, and I always feel a little guilty asking that of people. But what else can I do?” he said, without hesitation.
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I bowed awkwardly, and left the room.
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And then I ran.
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I’m not sure where to, but I couldn’t stand being there a second longer.
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(Damn it......!)
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I knew something was horribly twisted.
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But I had no idea what it was. This was the second time in my life I had ever bitterly regretted being nothing more than some boring and ordinary girl.
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(Damn it! I’m an idiot! Such a shithead! Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid stupid. . . !!!)
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I raged internally, cursing myself.
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“There was nothing about that girl to make her special.”
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Asukai looked at the door she’d left through. “So. . .why did she know?”
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"It is an awfully lonely picture."
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"No matter how you look at that picture, there's no trace of the painter is intentions."
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"How did she...?"
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She said she wanted to save Kinukawa Kotoe, and she meant it. She was serious.
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That seriousness had left Asukai feeling utterly defeated.
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“Yes, Suema Kazuko-san. Exactly as you say,” he murmured.
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His face looked like that of a badly hurt boy. Like he was about to cry, struggling furiously to stop himself.
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At that moment, his phone rang.
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His face snapped up, and he answered quickly.
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He listened for a moment, then nodded. “Okay.”
✦ ✦ ✦
The person on the other end said something else, and he shook his head. “No, it seems we have to move quickly,” he said. “Yeah.
✦ ✦ ✦
At this point, we can’t avoid a fight. Yes, I’ll take Spooky E out personally.”
✦ ✦ ✦
When I could sleep, I would go into a movie theater, and sit on the side in the very front row, where nobody would ever come. The times were always different; sometimes in the morning, sometimes at night. I doubt I ever snored. Nobody ever woke me up.
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At night, I would find a 24-hour family restaurant, and wait for sunrise. I’d sit there, reading manga or something, to keep from being noticed. I was hardly the only one doing this, so I didn’t stand out too much.
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I wondered if my sister had filed a missing person’s report with the police, so I started wearing glasses as a disguise, but I never met anyone who seemed to be looking for me.
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And when I wasn’t resting. . .I was Boogiepop.
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Kids my age would attack drunken businessmen in groups to steal their money and prove their strength.
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Suddenly, their attack would be interrupted by a dark, cloaked figure, who would spout haughty bullshit like, “How sad you are,” and then beat the crap out of them before fleeing like the wind.
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Obviously, I did this because I didn’t want the people I saved to get a good look at my face.
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Half the time, though, I didn’t know which side was to blame, but I always took the side of the underdog.
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But if the people I saved seemed like they were going to exact revenge, I’d put them down too. Then I’d blow a whistle, like the kind police use, and vanish before anyone arrived.
✦ ✦ ✦
...As soon as I was safely away, I’d slip into the shadows, whip off my costume, and stuff it into my bag before walking away with as innocent an expression as I could muster, always thinking:
✦ ✦ ✦
‘What am I doing?’
✦ ✦ ✦
‘Man, I’m certainly getting good at running away...’
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And the like.
✦ ✦ ✦
I’d given up the makeup. It was dark, and no one would be able to recognize me anyway.
✦ ✦ ✦
Besides...it was always Orihata who was putting on the makeup. Without her here, I could never get it right.
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"Ow..."
✦ ✦ ✦
I glanced at my fist, and found I’d hurt it again.
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My movements were becoming wild. My shishou always said there were no moves in karate that would allow you to injure yourself, and if there were, that was a sign you had not yet trained enough, or you were losing control. Both were true for me now.
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I put some cold spray on the bruise, and put a pair of gloves over it, the sort of first aid Orihata had once done for me. Damn, I was thinking about her again.
✦ ✦ ✦
"Argh..."
✦ ✦ ✦
My opponents were nothing much, so I was narrowly scraping by, but if I actually ran into anyone dangerous, I’d be in serious trouble.
✦ ✦ ✦
Most weapons, like knives, all I have to do is dodge, but if someone had a gun, I’d be a goner.
✦ ✦ ✦
And then what would happen to me? Would this be what Orihata needed?
✦ ✦ ✦
Absently munching on spaghetti carbonara (plus salad), pondering things, a thought struck me.
✦ ✦ ✦
‘Was this a roundabout way of killing myself.
✦ ✦ ✦
I knew I was pretty desperate, but did I really want to die?
✦ ✦ ✦
"........."
✦ ✦ ✦
Carbonara sauce is made from soft-boiled eggs, and tastes terrible cold, so my mouth never stopped moving the whole time I was thinking.
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I even asked a waiter for a refill on my coffee.
✦ ✦ ✦
"........."
✦ ✦ ✦
I added a lot of cream and sugar, and took a sip.
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Even I was amazed at how low my sense of danger was.
✦ ✦ ✦
I was ultra calm.
✦ ✦ ✦
I didn’t know what the hell I was trying to do, and nobody would ever praise me for it. I was gradually forgetting the correct movements for karate, flailing wildly and becoming a menace to myself.
✦ ✦ ✦
(Hunh. . .)
✦ ✦ ✦
I knew all of this, but I didn’t seem to care.
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Why not? Was something wrong with me? Well, that much was obvious, but exactly what was wrong?
✦ ✦ ✦
(Hmmm...)
✦ ✦ ✦
I thought about Orihata. I felt no anger towards her. I wasn’t playing Boogiepop to get attention. I was actually hoping that she’d forgotten all about me.
✦ ✦ ✦
When I remembered how I’d fawned over her, I was embarrassed. I couldn’t forget how pathetic I was with my head in the clouds.
✦ ✦ ✦
(Okay...)
✦ ✦ ✦
I think I’m playing Boogiepop to apologize to her. If what I was doing was in any way useful to her...this thought was driving me.
✦ ✦ ✦
(Man, what self-centered logic.)
✦ ✦ ✦
I was unable to suppress a self-deprecating giggle.
✦ ✦ ✦
Here I was, fully aware that the girl I’d been going out with had never really been in love with me at all. Yet, I couldn’t stop letting her memory dictate my every move. God, I’m a loser.
✦ ✦ ✦
(So stupid...)
✦ ✦ ✦
I giggled again, but by this point I was pretending to read a manga anthology so that nobody would look at me suspiciously.
✦ ✦ ✦
Damn, but I’m getting too good at this. i The waiter passed by, and I ordered another cup of coffee.
✦ ✦ ✦
She and six others were standing on the other side of a four-lane road, across from the restaurant.
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From the side, they looked like they just happened to all be waiting for the light to change so they could cross.
✦ ✦ ✦
The other six were all thin men. Their ages varied, as did their clothes, from suits to school uniforms, leather jackets and jeans.
✦ ✦ ✦
The only thing linking them together was their singular lack of expression. This was the only thing, yet this distinguishing feature made it plain to see. . .they were all Spooky E’s ‘terminals.’
✦ ✦ ✦
“Heh...” Kotoe grinned, seeing Masaki’s glasses. “What a crappy disguise. Still, he was pretty good at running and hiding.
✦ ✦ ✦
Took some doing to track him down.”
✦ ✦ ✦
"..............."
✦ ✦ ✦
"..............."
✦ ✦ ✦
The men behind her made no response.
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The light changed, and a motorcycle pulled to a stop in front of. them.
✦ ✦ ✦
They stepped forward to cross the street, but Kotoe said softly,
✦ ✦ ✦
“No, wait...”
✦ ✦ ✦
Masaki was about to leave the restaurant. It looked like he was going to prowl a little more tonight.