“I realized I had sacrificed my little sister Yuki’s freedom for my own sake, yet I’ve refused to face that fact while squandering my days as the pathetic, self-absorbed failure that I’ve become. That’s who I am… That’s Masachika Kuze in his entirety.”
In a daze, Alisa listened as this confession, steeped in self-loathing and regret, poured out of the boy across from her as he hung his head like a sinner awaiting judgement. It was a confession that had started with the stunning truth that Yuki was actually his sister, and it was honestly…far too much for Alisa to process right now, but some things were finally starting to click.
Oh…
Masachika’s smile always bore a hint of a shadow, even in moments of success. He shied away from praise, seemed to resent recognition, and quietly avoided the spotlight. And now Alisa fully understood why. Beneath it all was a deep-rooted self-denial, and a belief that his current self only existed at the expense of his sister’s sacrifice.
“I have nothing… I have absolutely nothing to be proud of… I’m a worthless scumbag…”
It was impossible not to wonder what that must have felt like. Alisa, too, understood the pain of being unable to defend her own way of life, the ache of not knowing if it was truly right, yet being unable to live any other way.
Nevertheless, Alisa couldn’t even fathom how it would feel to outright reject her own way of life, and so she had no words to comfort him. All she had was sorrow.
“It was all just one big mistake…from the very beginning.”
Watching the boy drown in self-torment was heartbreaking. Alisa was frustrated by her own helplessness, unable to say or do anything to help him. However…
“Masachika Kuze was a mistake.”
Something inside her chest burst the instant she heard those words.
“…A mistake?” The words fell from her lips before she even realized it. “Do you really mean that? That everything was one big mistake?”
Her voice trembled as the words and tears spilled out. Without bothering to wipe the streams of sorrow cascading down her face, Alisa fixed Masachika with a piercing glare and seized his shoulders. And as he raised his chin, she cried out:
“You—! You met me, didn’t you?!”
Through blurred vision, she saw his eyes widen suddenly. Their gazes now undoubtedly met—though his had been off in a dark place—and that alone made Alisa’s heart flutter with joy.
Even if Masachika had stayed with the Suou family, they might still have met one another. But if the Masachika she met that day in class had been the polished, perfect gentleman he’d intended to become…then surely, she would never have been so drawn to him.
The one she had fallen for and truly loved was the Masachika Kuze right in front of her. He was far from perfect, and full of flaws she could list ad nauseam, yet now she adored everything about him, including those faults. Therefore, she absolutely could not allow that person to be called a mistake.
“You said earlier that you were grateful that we met. Was that—?! Was that…all just a lie…?” she muttered. Her head was lowered and she was still gripping his shoulders.
Her tears continued to rain upon the ground, and it dawned on her that she must look like a total mess. This wasn’t what she had intended. All she’d wanted to do was comfort him, but instead, she had spoken selfishly and emotionally, almost as if blaming him.
I’m… I’m a terrible person for doing this…
Once the storm of emotion had passed, regret settled in. She felt pathetic, crushed beyond words as she sank to the ground, curling inward as her tears silently fell. But immediately, a hand was gently placed on her shoulder.
“Thanks, Alya.”
Alisa lifted her head, taken aback by his gratitude. Their eyes met again. There was still pain in his eyes, but they narrowed as he smiled faintly. He chose his next words carefully, concerned about the tears streaming down her cheeks.
“You’re right. Meeting you…and becoming partners—all of that happened because of the mistake I made.”
Masachika closed his eyes, as if facing his inner self, then slowly nodded before opening them once more.
“Yeah, now that I think about it, it wasn’t all a mistake. I really feel that way now,” he exclaimed with sincerity, then lowered his head.
“And I’m sorry. That was insensitive of me. I didn’t mean to hurt you. I mean…”
He lifted his head again and looked Alisa straight in the eyes.
“Meeting you was one of the best things that ever happened to me. I mean it.”
Those words made Alisa’s heart pound wildly. The sadness and regret that had weighed her down only moments ago melted away and were replaced by joy and affection…yet she felt too shy to show those feelings openly.
“<…Me too.>”
She murmured softly with her head down and her lips pressed against one knee. But before Masachika could even ask what it was she had said, she wiped away her tears, stood up, and extended a hand to her partner, who was still sitting on the bench.
“Come on.”
“Huh?”
She stared straight into his bewildered gaze and simply replied:
“We’re going to see Yuki…so you can move past your regret.”
Fear flickered in Masachika’s eyes and his expression stiffened…but before he could look away again, she firmly declared:
“I’ll be there for you. It’s my turn to be right by your side and support you…so don’t say a word and just take my hand!”
Masachika’s shoulders twitched, but his eyes met Alisa’s once more. His distress melted away as he placed his hand in hers.
Gripping his hand tightly, Alisa tugged and pulled him up. Then, without letting go, she spun around and began to head toward the road.
“Huh? Uh. Hold on. Are we seriously going to do this? Now? Your birthday party isn’t even over yet. You can’t just leave in the middle of your own party!”
“My parents and Masha can handle the rest. I’ll make sure to apologize to the others later, too.”
“Come on, you can’t just—At least go grab a jacket. How do you plan on getting there, anyway?”
“Taxi, bus…we’ll find a way. Just get moving! Let’s go!”
“Taxi? Do you even have money for—”
“Let’s go already!”
Alisa pressed forward without giving Masachika a chance to refuse, tugging him along by the hand…as a lone figure watched them from the shadows.
Hmm… Looks like I’m too late.