I wanted to make her happy. I wanted her to be free. If I couldn’t do that, then at least I wanted to be the reliable older brother that she could always count on.
I had a vague memory of a time when Yuki and I were really young. She had always been a curious and mischievous child, full of life. She loved the outdoors and was fascinated by everything around her, always wanting to try out everything at least once.
“What’s that?” “How does this work?” “I want to try that.” “That looks so fun.” That was the kind of girl she was. Though her frame was small, she was always packed full of energy and curiosity with a sparkle in her eyes.
In contrast, as the eldest son of the Suou family, I was raised with strict discipline, so I felt that I was a far quieter, more obedient child—nothing like my sister. However, I never envied or resented her for her carefree nature.
Everyone had their own role. Some were meant for certain tasks, while others for different ones. As I studied in my room, I would often catch sight of Yuki dragging Ayano around the garden, and somehow, it felt like this was where I was meant to be, and that was where she was meant to be.
But that all changed without warning. One day, Yuki began coughing uncontrollably, her breath heavy and labored. At first, we thought it was just a common cold—something that would pass. But as the days went by, Yuki’s condition only worsened. I could still remember how quiet it felt to be home with her no longer in the garden or the hallways of the mansion.
Even though she could no longer play outdoors, Yuki’s curiosity remained as bright as ever. Lying in bed, her eyes sparkled as she read books, imagining far-off lands while gazing at pictures of deserts and icebergs, dreaming of being a pilot when she saw cool planes and imagining herself as a florist when she admired beautiful flowers. But after seeing her like that day after day, I eventually said something completely absurd to her.
“I’m going to be a doctor when I grow up and find a way to make you feel better!”
“What? But I thought you were gonna be a diplomat?”
“I am, but I’m going to be a doctor, too! I’m a genius, so I can be both!”
“Wow! You’re amazing!”
…It was nothing more than a thoughtless remark from a naive child, but Yuki’s genuine praise made me think I could really do it. I wanted to be that dependable, incredible older brother she saw in me. And one day, I wanted to return her to the world where she truly belonged.
I wanted to see my sister, whose spirit shone brighter and soared freer than anyone else’s, set off toward a world brimming with endless possibilities where she could chase any dream and become anything she desired. That, I believed, was my role. As someone without a destination of his own, I was meant to guide her toward hers.
…At least, that’s what I told myself. But in the end, I was the one who shattered that dream. I betrayed myself.
“I’m sorry. I’m…going to stay here with Mom.”
It took me far too long to realize what truly mattered. Back then, it wasn’t my parents, the family name, or even myself that I should have been thinking about—it was my little sister, the kindest person I knew. But I’d failed her. And without ever making things right, I simply drifted through life, while she found the strength to recover all on her own. Yet, the sister who once spoke so eagerly of her dreams…never mentioned them again.
“It is a pleasure to meet you all. My name is Yuki Suou, and it is an honor to represent all of the new students this year.”
Her polite, well-behaved demeanor, dedicated to serving the family, mirrored my old self. I finally realized who I had sacrificed to gain this meaningless freedom.
My sister, who was freer than anyone, had to give up on her dreams because I wasn’t strong enough to be there for her.