But as he watched the two of them high-five, Masachika rose to his feet, forcing a smile that was as apologetic as he could manage, and bowed.
“Sorry. I need to start heading home now…”
“What? Really?”
“We were just getting started…”
“Oh, my. That’s too bad.”
“Then let me walk you—”
“No, it’s fine.”
Masachika quickly collected his belongings, putting his hand up as Alisa was about to get out of her chair. Sensing Nonoa’s intense gaze, he deliberately avoided eye contact with her while walking over to Alisa with a smile.
“Anyway, happy birthday, Alya. Have a wonderful rest of the night.”
“Yeah…”
“Don’t forget to lock the door after I leave. Sorry for making you get out of your seat.”
After leaving Alisa with a few parting words, Masachika bid farewell to Akemi and Mikhail, who were tidying up in the kitchen, and swiftly made his way to the entrance. A chilly November breeze swept in as he opened the door and stepped outside, heading toward the elevator while checking the time on his phone.
“I will wait for you outside. You have ten minutes to decide.”
Fifteen minutes had passed since Ayano left. Normally, she would have already left, but if she stayed just a little longer for his sake, then maybe…
Uncertain about whether he hoped she would be waiting or had already left, Masachika stepped into the elevator, his heart racing with a mixture of nervousness and fear. Trying to push his emotions down, he hopped off the elevator, stepped outside—and was relieved to see that Ayano was already gone.
“…You pathetic coward!”
Masachika cursed himself for the way he felt before aimlessly drifting down the empty street, his footsteps echoing in the silence.
I ran away again.
The voice in the back of his mind was filled with scorn, but without even the energy to argue, he simply wandered aimlessly until he noticed a small park nearby. With heavy steps, he made his way over and plopped down on a bench.
“…”
He had run away again. He couldn’t deny that, but he could still turn things around. He knew their address. He could hail a taxi and go after Ayano right now if he wanted to. And if he didn’t want to do that, Kyoutarou was home, so if he hurried back and explained the situation, then they could go to the Suou residence together, and that would be the end of it. He knew that, yet…he was sitting on a park bench all alone like this.
I could still make it if I go now. Do I really want to become an even bigger scumbag than I already am? I’m going to regret it if I don’t go see her!
What could I even do if I went now? I already wasted the chance that Ayano gave me. It would be arrogant of me to go now.
It doesn’t matter what I can do! Yuki is in pain! I don’t need a better reason to be there for her!
Stop being so dramatic. The doctor’s already there taking care of her. They have good flu medicine nowadays. She’ll be better in no time.
That’s not what’s important right now! A brother has to be there for his little sister when she’s hurt, no matter what! Plus, people with asthma can apparently develop severe complications from the flu!
Two conflicting voices clashed violently within his head, but he knew which one he should listen to. He knew, yet his body remained frozen, unresponsive, and as time dragged on, every passing second made it harder to act. Despite his awareness, he continued to waste time, letting the cold bench and the biting wind drain the warmth from his body.
I’m doing it again…
He was back to drowning in regret and self-loathing, finding a twisted satisfaction in sinking deeper into it. He knew he was at fault, and because of that, he convinced himself it was okay. He felt that he had punished himself, so that should be good enough. He chose to escape by using self-punishment as a get-out-of-jail-free card.
Masachika understood that he had to confront the mistake from his past someday and that he couldn’t keep running from it forever. His gut was telling him that he wasn’t going to be able to avoid it much longer, either. He’d even promised Maria that he would face his regret, yet when that time came, he simply tried to escape again…
“Mmmnnng!”
He dug his fingers into his scalp, scratching furiously as if he could claw his way out of his problems. The sharp pain bloomed where his nails sank into his skin, and heat radiated from the pressure. Still, he didn’t stop, biting his lip as he fought against the urge to break. He knew it was pointless, but it was the only thing he could think to do. A fleeting thought crossed his mind—maybe he should just stay here all night, let the cold do its bidding. Maybe if he got gravely sick, then that would make up for all this. But just as this destructive thought crossed his mind…
“Masachika…?”
Masachika froze at the unexpected voice, unsure if his mind was playing tricks on him. But when he began to lift his chin, the sight of a boot’s toe in his peripheral vision confirmed his doubt. Slowly, he lifted his gaze, his heart skipping a beat as he met Alisa’s wide, surprised eyes as she stood there while holding his jacket.
“When I went to lock the door, I noticed you forgot your jacket…and you were acting weird, so…”
“…Oh.”
“Did something happen?”
But Masachika hung his head in silence. There was nothing he could say. After all, Alisa didn’t know the truth about his relationship with Yuki, and even if he revealed everything, what would it change? It would only add to the humiliation.
“…Could you just pretend you didn’t see me?” Masachika muttered under his breath.
“What?”
He covered his eyes with both hands and continued with a harsh, stiff tone:
“I don’t want to ruin your birthday…so please, could you just pretend you didn’t see me?”
“Wh-what?! There’s no way I can do that!”
Without warning, she seized him by both shoulders, jerking him upright so he was forced to face her. Then, with a firm grip on his collar, Alisa held his head steady, glaring at him from point-blank range.
“Tell me what happened!”
“…”
Masachika felt a touch of astonishment as he gazed into Alisa’s fiery blue eyes. Clearly frustrated, she clenched her teeth at his dull reaction, then briefly dropped her gaze with a sigh.
“…Do you remember the bet we made before finals last semester?” she asked in a forcibly suppressed voice.
“…?”
“We made a bet before finals on whether you’d make it into the top thirty.”
Masachika suddenly remembered what she was talking about. During the first semester’s final exams, they had made a bet on whether Masachika could score within the top thirty in his grade. The loser would then be forced to do whatever the winner asked.
“…Oh, right. We did make a bet like that,” he muttered, as if it wasn’t important. Alisa, however, raised her lowered gaze and glared sharply back at him.
“Well, I’m going to use my right as the winner right now. Tell me what happened.”
Masachika was at a loss for words, since there was no way that he could have predicted that she would bring up a promise they made months ago out of the blue like this. Yet, as he met Alisa’s sincere gaze…he found himself confessing it all.
“Yuki got the flu…and she’s really sick right now.” Once he started talking, he couldn’t stop as he continued to pour out everything. “She didn’t want to ruin the party…so she made Ayano tell everyone that she had an urgent matter come up…but she’s actually sick. She’s in pain right now, but I—! I just—! I’m not there for her when she needs me…!”
As he spoke, waves of pity and self-doubt surged within him. Masachika bit his lip once more and lowered his gaze. Alisa’s hands slid softly from his shoulders as she stood, moving away from him as her quiet voice brushed against his ear.
“…That’s why?”
Her voice quivered, prompting Masachika to look up at her and notice the tears in her eyes as his own opened wide.
“It’s strange… I wanted to know, and yet, I wish I didn’t ask.” She smiled weakly.
“<It hurts…>” she murmured softly in Russian, her voice trembling.
It instantly became clear to him why she was on the verge of tears.
Oh… That’s why…
It would have been easy to say “This is all just a misunderstanding. I’m not neglecting you or prioritizing Yuki over you,” but that probably wouldn’t have been good enough for Alisa. Masachika did love Yuki…but as his sister. Yet, he had to keep that a secret which meant…
Actually…why don’t I tell her?
That was when it hit him. What was the value of his promise to Gensei if it meant seeing the girl in front of him on the brink of tears? What mattered more: Alisa’s feelings or his commitment to Gensei? The answer was clear.
“…Alya, I told you that my parents were divorced, right?”
“Huh? Yeah…”
Alisa tilted her head in confusion as Masachika changed the conversation abruptly, a bittersweet smile on his lips as he met her gaze and continued.
“My mother’s name…is Yumi Suou. My name used to be Masachika Suou.”
“…!”
He looked up at his speechless partner and confessed:
“Yuki…is my little sister.”