: okay, calculating distance based on stroke number is actually insane
: something moves: Awa-chan: "ohmigod, that thing moved X number shakes of a StroZero can!" ￥220
: And this, boys and girls, is Live-On. This is where the hermits and recluses of society end up
: least cynical childcare worker
: I didn't end up here, I chose to be here. Rise up, hermits and recluses!
: boy am I glad the Ken Shimizu number's different than the StroZero number. If they'd been the same, that would mean Ken Shimizu is StroZero, and Shuwa-chan having StroZero inside of her would've taken on a whole different meaning.
: Tadasu-chan, is that you?
: god I miss Tadasu-chan. come back, we miss you!
I lost, but it didn’t matter. As a wise man once said, we go agane!
“You know,” I said. “Watching fruit shaboink each other, turning into bigger and better fruit—it’s like watching Darwin’s theory of evolution unfold in real time.”
“That’s what you’re getting from this game?”
“And the way it all ends, with everyone fighting until only scraps remain, is like a reflection of human history, isn’t it? Oh my God, I’ll never take the humdrum of daily life for granted anymore. The message of this game is so deep, I’m going to cry.”
“My mommy might actually be a genius. Now there’s a terrifying thought.”
“You’ll understand when you’re older.”
“Then I don’t wanna get older!”
“Whew, Sharin no Kuni? Killer reference.”
“Kaeru loved that quote so much.”
“A little too much, clearly...”
: please, no more sudden transitions into philosophy
: where my retro VN heads at
: No matter how profound it sounds, the fact that Awa-chan started out saying things like shaboinking tells you everything you need to know
Of course, I wasn’t just talking. I was making good progress in the video game too. This round, things were going particularly well.
“Look at that! My first watermelon! I am not beating the genius allegations!”
“Nice job. Congrats.”
“Woo! Praise me more!”
“Mommy, you’re a genius.”
I laughed smugly. “Yes, I am. Yes, I am!”
“The government should consider naming you a Living National Treasure.”
“Yep, yep, yep! Yep, yep, yep!”
“You should allow Kaeru to suck on your titties.”
“Sure thi— Wait. What?”
“She said yes!”
Then I heard the sound of a door opening, slamming shut, muted footsteps trailing away...
“H-Hey! No. Stop! Do not come over here right now. Do you know how late it is?!”
“Okay,” Kaeru-chan said, suddenly reappearing. “Then we’ll reschedule?”
“No! You tricked me, it doesn’t count!”
“What? You’re going back on your word! What a terrible mother!”
“And the baby has lectured her mother. That’s a first. Fine, we’ll reschedule.”
“Wait, really?!”
“My first opening’s in...ten thousand days. Does that work for you?”
“...Mommy, Kaeru knows you said ten thousand days as a way to suggest a far-off future, but doing the math, that’s not even twenty-eight years away, well within both our lifetimes.”
“Wait.”
“I’ll pencil it in, then. See you in twenty-eight years, mommy!”
“No, no, no, no, pause, pause, pause, pause, pause!!!”
: Great success ￥50,000
: hahaha poor Shuwa-chan
: you know what they say, the days are long but the years are short
: Just when you thought Kaeru-chan had been defeated, she hits back with the magnificent counter. Mwah, chefs kiss
: Kaeru-chan, you have all of us here as witnesses to the verbal contract exchanged
: RemindMe! 10,000 days
: It's weird how can I be so excited for something that my brain is terrified for
: Just do it now. You're gonna do it in 28 years anyway. What difference does it make?
: 28 years is how long it takes for a Gagabriel to mature
: It seems we were mistaken
: lol
“Not again, you stupid cherry!”
What a night. By the end of it, I had signed myself up for something outrageous and was no closer to clearing the game for it. It was getting late, though, so I decided to call it and continue another day.
Good luck, future me...
Another day of dropping fruit into a box. After playing countless rounds, I had gotten the hang of the game and could consistently earn high scores. But that elusive double watermelon still seemed impossibly out of reach. It felt close—just a few more fruits, and I’d be there—but every time I got to that point, it was as if I hit an invisible wall, stopping any further progress.
Still, I couldn’t give up now. This was a test of patience. I’d recognized from the very beginning I’d need to stick with it, so stick with it I would!
Once again, Kaeru-chan came to cheer me on.
“How’ve you been recently, Kaeru-chan?” I asked during a dead period where no progress was to be made.
Thankfully, she was always more than willing to fill these voids with random conversation. “Kaeru’s been all right,” she replied. “Kaeru gains more and more viewer-mommies by the day, and she’s having a blast streaming.”
“That’s good, that’s good. What sort of streams have you been up to?”
“Kaeru just finished a collab with Dagger-chan. We were playing the new Mario game.”
“Dagger-chan, eh? How’s her memory?”
“Same as always.”
I chuckled. “I bet.”
Wait. Something felt off, but what? The conversation had been as innocuous as could be. Ah. But then it came to me.
“Dagger-chan? Didn’t she use to be Dagger-mama?” I asked.
“Things change,” Kaeru deflected somewhat awkwardly.
“Don’t tell me you’ve finally come to realize you’re a senpai?”
“How rude of you to even suggest the possibility. A baby knows not such responsibilities.”
“Is that so? Hey, chat, can I get a second opinion?”
“H-Hey.”
: Dagger-chan is so derpy that Kaeru-chan naturally becomes a senpai in her presence
: more like her mom than her senpai if you ask me
: yes, her new "baby mom" duality has attracted quite the viewership
: the mother has become the mothee...
: yeah she slipped into the -chan just like that
: she constantly stands just slightly behind Dagger-chan looking out for her like a real mother would
“Chat begs to differ,” I said.
“It’s not Kaeru’s fault that girl is so thoughtless. What Kaeru expects from her mothers is the ability to accept everything about Kaeru. Which Dagger-chan currently lacks, so Kaeru’s simply educating her into that role. Nothing more, nothing less.”
“‘Nothing more, nothing less,’ she says.”
“Fine, be that way. Kaeru’s sulking now. Whatever you say, Kaeru’s going to respond with ‘iya’ (no).”
“Aw, come on, I was just joking around.”
“Iya!”
“I’m sorry. Keep talking with me?”
“Iya!”
“Listen, you’re almost thirty. I promise this is more painful for you than it is for me.”
“Iya!”
“Suck on a titty?”
“<Ee-yeah!>”
“Oh my God, the baby’s gone international. Okay, you’ll get your turn in *checks watch* 9,999 days.”
: The baby character suddenly showing a motherly side really is quite unfair in its potency
: my favorite part of the stream was when she (figuratively) put her hands on her hips, shook her head and with a resigned smile on her face said "Goodness, what is Kaeru going to do with you?"
: Terrible Twos or menopause. You decide.
: Shuwa-chan really said turnabout is fair play
: So wait. Do all those in the anglosphere just think Japanese toddlers are saying "yeah" to everything?
: The Terrific Twos
: love me some happy babies
: Dagger-chan has already managed to cleanse one of the most rotten personalities in all of Live-On? Just canonize her already.
“Don’t worry, mommy. In front of you, at least, Kaeru will remain a baby forever.”
“If only that wasn’t the one part that actually worried me. I really don’t get your fixation with me. I’m like the least ‘motherly’ person ever.”
“That’s what you think? Then Kaeru’s sorry to inform you that most people would agree: You are the most motherly character in all of Live-On.”
“Are you kidding me? There’s no way.”
“It’s a rare and charming trait, being oblivious to your own qualities. Here’s hoping you remain that way forever, mommy.”
“Yeah, yeah, whatever, let’s talk about something else.” I could sense the conversation going down a weird path, so I forcefully changed the topic. “How are things with your genmates, Kaeru-chan? Everything going well?”
“We are not quite as lovestruck with each other as you all in gen three, but gen four’s doing just fine. Just the other day, in fact, Kaeru went for a bite with her ane-san after a recording session.”
“Ah, Ehrai-chan? What’d you eat?”
“Fugu sashimi.”
“Actually? Not shying away from stereotypes, are we?”
“It was Kaeru’s idea. She certainly didn’t look happy taking me to her favorite fugu spot, but she did.”
“That’s nice. Oh, but speaking of Ehrai-chan—she doesn’t have a motherly vibe?”
“The vibe of a juvenile teenage delinquent mother, but sure.”
“Hey, mom’s a mom, right? Be they teenage, delinquent, or part of the Family...”
“She’s quite strict with Kaeru for some reason, though.”
“Aha ha. Well, who would she be strict with if not you?”
: So we're just not even going to pretend she's a zookeeper anymore?
: Behind the wholesomeness of this conversation lurks a malevolent presence ￥2,440
: there's just something delightfully absurd about ane-san being used to refer to an innocent zookeeper
: if she's a zookeeper where are the animals?
: fugu's an animal
: not when its thinly sliced and served on a cold platter raw
: Of course Ehrai-chan would have a favorite fugu spot lol
: she probably slurps it down twenty pieces at a time like Shimano
“I almost feel bad for Ehrai-chan,” I said. “She wanted to be the gentle girly girl so bad, but blew it almost immediately on her first stream.”
“Mommy, you say that like Live-On would’ve let a normal girly girl zookeeper join them in the first place.”
“Well, if you put it like that... But you know, you gotta respect her. She’s willing to say what most people won’t as long as it helps people learn about animals.”
“Yes, Kaeru won’t doubt her love for animals. Though Kaeru’s an animal too, so I wonder why she won’t love me.”
“You want her to love you? Like an animal? I’m sure that could be arranged.”
“Kaeru senses malice from your tone, so she’s going to have to ask you to stop.”
It seemed everything was going swimmingly between Kaeru and her genmates.
“What about your senpai? Everything good with them?” I asked.
“Yes, I’m proud to call you, among many others, my friends,” she replied.