“You can cross the mountains and dales, but you can always return here. Welcome to Kaeru Yamatani’s stream. Today, we’ll be answering a few Castellas.”
: oy
: You okay? Baby want a super? ￥500
: now that's a big girl! ￥200
: sus greeting
: cross the mountains and dales known as adulthood, this uber has returned to force her viewers to baby her
: she didn't cross jack
: but at least she's home
“Good to see that Kaeru’s chat is still as split between two extremes as ever. Kaeru only did her official greeting because she received the following Castella: Q: My only wish is to see Gagabriel use her official greeting, even once. (The MonSlay one doesn’t count.) Now that’s done, it’s back to your regularly scheduled programming.”
Q: Gagabriel, you often say you are a baby. But are you a baby forever à la Sazae-san or will you eventually grow up someday?
“Kaeru is a baby for as long as she says she is a baby. Even when she is decrepit and old, as long as she says she is a baby, a baby is what she is. Her retirement home is not a retirement home, it is a kindergarten.”
: yup, she crazy
: I tried to understand you. I really tried.
: I wonder how she gets the confidence to say such things
: She has the confidence to say such things because she is a baby. A baby has yet to have their imagination beaten out of them by society
: hear hear! ￥8,888
: society didn't beat anything out of her. society simply wants nothing to do with her.
: Retirement home: "I'm...a kindergarten?"
: "goo-goo... ga-ga..." the baby rasped
: nope, we're keeping you in the weird-folks home (Live-On) forever.
Q: Hi Gagabriel. If Shuwa-chan is your mommy, and Shuwa-chan’s mother is Mashiron, then does that make Mashiron your grandmother???
“Careful, that kind of talk will earn you a scolding from Mashiro-senpai. Kaeru’s advice is to not think too deeply about the Live-On family tree. It’s looking more and more like the Sefirot these days.”
Q: Dear Gagabriel. I couldn’t decide whether to send you a baby bottle or pacifier so have this shitpost instead. Enjoy.
“I’d rather you send Kaeru a mommy instead. Also, is it just Kaeru or has the name Gagabriel caught on way too fast? The other day, a staff member referred to Kaeru as Gagabriel-san and only corrected themselves after Kaeru gaga’d in reply.”
: cease this disparagement of the Kabbalah
: cuz Gagabriel just rolls off the tongue
: Just what is going over there at Live-On HQ?
Q: Word on the street is that your manager is friends, or should I say “buddies by way of shared common interest,” with Shion-mama. Is there anything you would like to say to her?
“Your chat messages are getting too hard to understand.”
: LOL
: rude!
: you should be grateful she's even humoring you!
“Don’t misunderstand. Kaeru’s grateful to be treated like a baby, but the baby talk has gotten so advanced that even she has to really look at it to understand sometimes. For example, ‘Time to go down-down!’ means ‘Please download the following file.’ It’s amazing Kaeru even managed to figure that out, wouldn’t you agree?”
: I have no idea what my expectations even were and they were still blown out of the water
: even a baby could decipher that (literally)
: Your mother's glad to see you and your manager getting along
Q: My name is MC Mommy and I’m here to say, this is how you raise a child, the real Kaeru way. Neverland vibes like Peter Pan. If you wearin’ diapers, yeah, Huggies’s the brand!
“Kaeru would die in Neverland.”
: true
: not the serious response all of a sudden
: so *that* you admit to...
“I do not fear Neverland, however, for Kaeru is a baby. The next Castella will be the last.”
Q: What were your first impressions upon meeting Awayuki-san?
“Top-mommy. Top-mommy then, top-mommy now.”