After I washed my face and tidied myself up, I returned to find Reinald chatting with the boys. Whateley was there with Martina, who looked decidedly awkward and on the verge of being entirely consumed by her nerves.
“Wendel, Emil, thank you for entertaining our guests,” I said.
“Are you kidding? We had a great time. The prince has so many great stories,” said Wendel.
My eyes were still red, and the boys had clearly been worried about me, but they looked relieved to see me smiling again.
“I know it’s not every day that you get to meet a prince, and I apologize, but would you mind leaving us to discuss a few things? Please accompany them, Martina. Oh, and Emil? Do you know where Jill is?”
“Jill? She should be in the garden with Ben.”
“I’ll be calling on the two of you a little later, so would you mind waiting with her somewhere not too far away?”
“Sure. I’ll grab her and be at the ready.”
My sudden request puzzled everyone, but nobody was going to raise any objections in front of our guests. Geoff returned to the room, and the boys and Martina politely took their leave at about the same time.
Oh, Wendel, are you really not going to take the cats with you...?
Blacky and Charlot had followed Wendel, then decided to stop and rub their heads and necks against Reinald’s legs, covering his pants in cat hair.
“I don’t mind,” commented Reinald. “It’s been so long since I’ve been able to spend any time with such pets.”
Nika simply rolled her eyes. The serious air drained from the room with the cats doing their thing, but Reinald seemed to enjoy their company, so I couldn’t quite bring myself to shoo them away. Instead, I simply straightened myself up and decided to get on with it.
“Let’s get to business, then,” I said. “I have a way to find what Ern left for us.”
If the air wasn’t serious before, it certainly was now. Reinald’s placid smile remained, but Nika’s eyes drew into a sharp, focused gaze.
“The way you bring it up gives me the sense that this is a negotiation,” said Reinald. “You have demands.”
He knew there was more to my words. Such was the nature of our relationship, and everything we’d been through since Falkrum.
“That I do,” I said. “You have been nothing but good to me and my family, Sir Reinald. As such, I have no complaints when it comes to the Conrad family loyally serving you, the imperial crown prince. We’ve nobody else we wish to put our support behind.”
“I’ve never suspected you of anything less. As for your conditions?”
“I’d like you to make me a part of your plans.”
It almost sounded like I was asking him to let me join his group of friends, but the true gravity of the matter couldn’t have been heavier. Conrad was under Reinald’s protection. As such, it was expected that we would aid him as necessary, and that was exactly what I intended to do. However, the greater half of everything he did in the imperial capital was hidden from me, and while that was partially due to the lack of authority our family had, I still wanted to be a part of it.
I had not discussed this matter with anybody in the household and had, in fact, only decided on this course of action quite suddenly. I was sure Geoff would have some words for me later, but I didn’t care—I wasn’t going to back down from this, no matter what anybody said.
“It was not my intent to neglect you,” replied Reinald, “but am I to understand you are dissatisfied with our arrangement?”
“That’s not what I’m saying. I’m well aware that there is much you cannot tell me due to my lack of any real power. However, I simply cannot stand the idea that giving you what Ern has left us means it all ends there.”
“While I do intend to handle matters with great care, I gather that a report on the results would not be enough for you?”
“If that’s how it will end, then I will not share what I already know of your plans, but I will not aid you in them any further.”
“That is indeed quite the bind. Tell me, why are you so intent on this?”
He did not look at all like a man in any sort of bind, but I couldn’t read his true intentions. However, I had done my best to help him where I could—limited and near nonexistent as my powers were—and I wanted to believe that this offered me a seat at the negotiating table.
“Regardless of how it happened, I killed her,” I said. “I was the one who pulled the trigger.”
“You don’t have to bring this up,” said Reinald.
“I blew her brains out. Even now, I can see it like it just happened. Her once beautiful head of hair all messed up, her cracked skull, the gaping hole in her head.”
“Karen.”
“No matter what I do, I can’t forget it. No matter how I struggle, I can’t escape it.”
That I could remain steadfast, I explained, was because everyone believed me to be Bertrando’s daughter. This helped secure ties with the lord of the Bahre family too. And while I didn’t like to think about it, exterminating the “evil mage” was considered a praiseworthy achievement. Now that the emperor had announced her death publicly, it was not a matter that would simply be left to fade away. He’d wanted Ern’s brains mined for intel following her death, but I’d repainted the floors and walls with the greater part of them. I had to assume he knew, at least in part, why.
I had thrown a spanner in the works and spoiled half of the emperor’s carefully laid plans. And while he was sure to wear the mask that was his usual confident smile, he was undoubtedly frustrated behind it. It was his own damned fault in this young woman’s opinion, but I wouldn’t put it past the man to pull something during the inevitable ceremony praising my achievements.
“In return for losing my friend, I received glory,” I said. “Ern entrusted that to me, and I want to be there to see, for myself, just what her last will and testament results in.”
I did not drop my gaze, not even for a second. Until now, I had always worked with the intent of returning Conrad to Wendel when he came of age. I was always hesitant to get the greater Conrad family wrapped up with my own feelings. But I could not simply accept Ern’s death as it was. Even if she’d brought it on herself, and even if she herself had thought it unavoidable, I myself couldn’t just stand there and say to myself, Well, that’s just how it goes, I guess. I didn’t want to. I never wanted to lose my friend. I wanted her here, alive and still with us. There was so much we still had to talk about, now and into the future.
I was angry about it. It was a grudge, through and through.
“I know I helped out before, but now that she’s gone, I have even more reason to help. I cannot see as far into the future as you, Sir Reinald, but I, too, wish to see the box destroyed.”
This was no longer simply because Reinald wanted it. Now it was what I wanted. I longed to see Ern’s wish come to fruition, and to see what the emperor clung to crumble before him. But to see that future, I needed Reinald’s help, and I needed to understand his plans in their entirety. It was why I now stood where I was.
“I know how you feel, and personally, I don’t take issue with it. That said, I can’t just lay everything out for you right this instant,” said Reinald. “I need you to understand that there are steps that have to be followed.”
“I’m not a child,” I replied. “I just need to know I’m part of it.”
And just like that, we’d agreed to terms. But with things in place, I had to keep my end of the bargain, and so I called Emil, who brought Jill, though the dog’s tail hung between her legs.
“Sorry for the wait, Emil,” I said. “Thanks for bringing Jill.”
“Well, you asked, so here we are...”
You might be wondering why I had Emil waiting, and with Jill no less. Well, that’s because they were the topic of my next request.