Chapter 88

“Yes. And the big brother I know would never abandon his little sister after he spoils her for life. No matter what happens, no matter what you remember, you’ll never stop thinking about me, will you? If you leave me again, after all that, then… Hee-hee. Hee-hee-hee-hee! ” She smiled like a delighted child. What would come next if I left her, she didn’t say. “You can’t be serious…” “It’s okay, dear brother. I trust you. It won’t come to that. I know you’ll make the right choice. Whatever happens, you’ll choose me in the end. A little gratification to go with your feelings of guilt… Hee-hee-hee-hee-hee! ” There was no trace of a lie in Mai’s eyes. Whatever fucked-up things she was saying, she believed them. She’d gone off the deep end. How had I not noticed it before? “This is ridiculous! Dammit! I’ll break these toy cuffs and—! Rgh!” “Ah, you mustn’t struggle, dear brother. Those aren’t cheap, you know. I had to make sure you couldn’t damage them. If you insist on trying to leave me, then I’m afraid I’ll just have to teach you a lesson, won’t I? So why don’t you just lie still?” “Rgh.” The sound of her voice made me break into a cold sweat. Her eyes were dim and lifeless, and I didn’t want to know what she would do if I fought back. “Now, dear brother. Let’s take off your clothes.” Mai reached toward me and began unbuttoning my pajamas. “Stop it. Stop it, Mai!” “Nope! ” I tried to twist myself away, but I couldn’t accomplish much cuffed to the bed, so my resistance didn’t prevent Mai from undoing my buttons. Soon, my upper torso lay bare. “Calm down, Mai! Think about what you’re doing!! This won’t make anybody happy! …Grh!” “That just isn’t true. I’ll be very happy with you by my side, staring at nobody else, loving nobody else. I’ll look after you, care for you, do everything for you. Won’t that make you happy, too, dear brother? Nothing needs to come between us ever again.” “Think about what Mom and Dad would say.” “They’d be happy, I think. I still remember Dad’s smile when I told him I’d marry you one day. He said it was okay.” It was no use. She’d lost the plot. She wasn’t listening to me anymore. She heard the words, and she said things back, but she wasn’t listening. “Dear brother, which would you like first? A boy, or a girl? I always hoped for twin girls, myself.” Mai dropped her pajama top, revealing her black lingerie. I quickly looked away. What now? What now, what now, what now? If I couldn’t stop her, she’d traumatize herself!! And if that happens, I’ll never get her back! I was out of time. I needed to make her stop, and fast! “Don’t look away, dear brother. Take it in. Everything. I kept myself slim and pretty for you. I never slipped in my routine, not even for a day. All so that I could be who you wanted when this time came. Ever since I was a little girl, I’ve tried to make myself grow into the kind of woman you enjoy.” “S-stop it, Mai.” “Come on, you big silly. Open your eyes. There’s a long night ahead of us, and I don’t want you to miss a second of it. Hee-hee-hee. Come on, open your eyes.” Mai wrapped her fingers around my cheeks. Her innocent, childlike laughter rattled in my ears. “You’re hopeless, dear brother. Just looking isn’t enough for you, is it? You want to move on to the next part as soon as possible…” “M-Mai. Stop it! Mai!” I felt her hands slide down my torso, and when I felt her fingers reach my navel, my eyes shot open. Mai’s face was right there. She was so close, I could almost feel her breath. I stared into her eyes. There, I could hear her screaming. Even though we were almost touching. “You don’t have to do this, Mai,” I said. “I’ll always be with you, no matter what happens. You know that. I’m your big brother, for crying out loud!” My cheap words fell on deaf ears. They didn’t even persuade myself, but I had to try something. “Yes, that’s right. You’re my dear big brother, Kaito. That’s all you need to think about.” All I had left was my trump card. But even I didn’t know what would happen if I played it. “…Hey, Mai. If you really want me to forget about everything else, then can you answer me about just one thing? That’ll really put my mind to rest.” “Of course, dear brother. Anything. What would you like to know? My measurements?” “What’s with that bloodied knife I found in your desk drawer?” “Ghh.” It was like I’d truly cut through to her heart for the first time that night. If I couldn’t bring her back, then I had to push her off. I wasn’t gambling for a lucky outcome; I was giving her the lesser of two evils. “Ah…no… No…it’s not… How…? How do you know…huh? Why, why, why? D-don’t…don’t hate me, dear brother! I’m…I’m your little sister! Nooo!!” “M-Mai…” She tore at her long dark hair, spilling a stream of nonsense from her lips. Her breathing grew shallow and labored, and her eyes lost their focus. She shivered uncontrollably, pressing her hands over her ears and sobbing. “B-but but but! I couldn’t help it! The blood…the blood… Aaaaagh?! I’m not dirty, I’m not dirty. Stay out of my way. Why? How? It’s his fault. All of them! Aaaaaaagh!!” “M-Mai! Calm down!” As I watched her erratic behavior, I started to wonder if I’d made the right decision. Perhaps bringing up the knife had been a grave mistake. No. I won’t get anywhere being timid. I have to talk to her. Make her change her mind! “Mai. Calm down. Mai, listen to me. Let’s talk. I’m not running. Not from myself, and not from you, either! So let’s—!” However, that brief moment of hesitation was all it took for me to lose my fingerhold completely. “…Ah, I get it. They’re still in my way. Even now, they seek to take you away from me. I have to make sure they’re all gone before I go any further, don’t I?” Just then, Mai stopped shaking. “Someone’s leading you astray, aren’t they? That’s okay. Tomorrow, I’ll make sure they get what’s coming to them.” She laughed. Another innocent, childlike giggle that seemed liable to shatter at any time. “It’s okay. I suppose that’s just what I get for trying to leave things half-finished. Hee-hee-hee. My mistake. You’ll just have to wait there until later, dear brother.” “Mai… Listen to me. Stop this. You’re tired. A lot’s happened, I get it. We’ll go to the hospital together tomorrow, it’ll be okay. I won’t tell anybody about the knife. We can—” “The knife? What knife, dear brother? I’m going to make everything go away. You shouldn’t have any idea about that.” “Hrh!” It seemed Mai was wholly ignorant of the nonsense spilling from her lips. She spoke as though what she said was common sense, then gave me a kiss on the cheek, just like she’d done when she was younger. “Hee-hee-hee. I haven’t done that in a while,” she said. “Wait here until tomorrow night, won’t you? After I’ve killed everyone, we can pretend it never happened.” With that, she pulled her top over her shoulders and stood up. “K-killed?! M-Mai, no! Who are you going to…? Stop!! Please, you can leave me tied up, just…let’s talk about this! You’re making a big mistake!” Mai didn’t answer. She just turned out the lights. “It’s time to sleep, dear brother. Tomorrow’s a very important day, and you’ll need your energy. Because by then, the only thing left in this world for you to care about…will be me.” “Mai…” She wasn’t listening to me again. She laughed, her cheeks red, and climbed back under the covers with me. “Goodnight, dear brother. I hope tomorrow will be a good day.” With that, she wrapped her arms around me and closed her eyes with a smile, quickly falling asleep. I said nothing. I had bought myself a day but hadn’t managed to get through to Mai. I’d avoided the worst outcome but had failed to snatch the one I wanted. It was then, in the dead of night, that the final thread supporting my little sister’s sanity snapped. I heard a clunk, like the sound of slipping gears.