Chapter 80

CHAPTER 1 The Returner Loses His Memories “…ver for…get… The pain…and…the oath you swore…” I heard a distant voice. A voice like that of a demon crawling up out of a deep, dark swamp. Only it was unclear, and I couldn’t quite make out what it was trying to say. All I could sense was the blinding rage that propelled it. An emotion that, against my better judgment, roused me from my slumber. “Mmm… Mmh…” When I opened my eyes, I found myself staring at a cream-colored ceiling. “Where…am I? Argh…my head…it hurts…” My head was throbbing, as if I’d slept for a thousand years. The only bed in the room was mine, and there wasn’t anyone else around, but I heard a persistent beep-beep-beep. It was a hospital room. Yet try as I might, I couldn’t recall how I’d ended up here. “Let’s see… I remember I was on class duty yesterday, so I went to school early… Kenta and Suehiko were there. I was chatting with them. Yuuto went upstairs to see his girlfriend, and we gave him crap for it. Then…” Then what happened? I couldn’t remember a thing. “Pardon me… Oh my god, the patient’s awake?! Doctor! Come quickly!!” A young nurse noticed me the moment she entered the room, then turned around and went running down the hallway screaming. Left to my own devices, I wondered if what the nurse did was standard procedure. Then I got the distinct feeling I was on some sort of soap opera and looked around for any hidden cameras. I wasn’t sure what to do, so I just waited for someone to come back. Before long, an impressive-looking doctor entered the room. “Oh, good morning, my friend,” he said. “You mind if we do a few checkups before we proceed?” “N-no, go ahead.” The doctor proceeded to pepper me with questions, which I answered, still wondering just what had happened. After opening my smock to let the doctor examine my chest, I was surprised to find it covered in scars. H-huh? What on earth happened to me? I tried not to let it show, but I’m sure I would have screamed out in shock at the terrible sight had the doctor not been present. My one saving grace was that the scars didn’t hurt at all. The doctor shone a light into my pupils, asked me to move my arms, and checked my heartbeat with a stethoscope. “…Well, physically speaking, everything looks good,” he said at last. “I was worried about the shoulder wound, but it seems to have healed up nicely, and it doesn’t look infected. We’ll do a scan and keep you here for two or three days. Then you’ll be free to go.” “Er… Doctor? What happened? Some kind of car accident, was it?” It was the only explanation I could come up with for my injuries and memory loss. It happened all the time on TV. At least I was in a better state than those coma-prone main characters. However, the room fell completely silent when I asked. …Huh? What is it? Is it something serious? The doctors and nurses in the room shared a concerned glance with one another and nodded before turning back to me. “Uh…Mr. Ukei, a question, if I may… Exactly how much do you remember?” “W-well, I was at school, talking to my friends before first period…” “And what was the date, if I may ask?” “It was June 8, 2015,” I replied, recalling the sight of my calendar that morning. My answer caused the medical workers to glance among one another again. “…Mr. Ukei. I want you to calm down. This may come as a shock, but today’s date is October 13, 2016.” “…What? Y-you… What?” “It may be hard to believe, but it’s true,” the doctor said. “S-so what, you’re saying I lost over a year’s worth of memories? That’s impossible. Or…are you implying I’ve been in a coma for all that time?” Both ideas sounded ludicrous when I said them out loud. What on earth was the meaning of this? The doctor shook his head gravely. “You were first brought to this hospital ten days ago.” “Oh…I guess that makes sense. If I’d been asleep for a year, I’d barely be able to move… I don’t suppose I just mistook the date, so I guess you’re saying that I lost all my memories of the past year?” “In my professional opinion, it seems highly likely, yes.” “I don’t believe it… A whole year…?” Could this really be happening? Being bedridden for a year sounded crazy enough, but losing a year’s worth of memories was, in some ways, even more unbelievable. I mean, if a year had really passed, that meant I was a third-year student now. I’d have university entrance exams coming up. The National Center Test was only three months away, wasn’t it? How the hell was I going to cope? “I suspect the amnesia will only be temporary,” said the doctor. “We’ll take you in for an MRI at once. Come with me.” “O-okay.” I slipped off the bed, unable to hide my utter shock at these revelations. “Kaito!! Wh-what’s happened?!” Just then, a girl threw open the door with such force that it bounced right off the rubber stopper and pinned her in the doorway. A doctor went over to check on her. “Hey, are you all right—? Whoa!” The girl, however, pushed past him, clutching her bruised shoulder and staggering over to me. “…Kaito. Dear brother. You’re awake. I’m not dreaming, am I? You’re here. You’re back. You’re alive.” “H-hey, whoa, calm down, you. H-hey, that tickles, cut it out! Ah-ha-ha!” It was my little sister, Mai. She ran over and threw her arms around me. Then, as if to confirm it was really me, she started running her hands all over my chest, tears in her eyes that seemed on the verge of spilling over at any moment. I couldn’t remember the last time I had seen her so upset. …Wh…? What’s going on? As soon as I set my gaze on her, I felt a gut-wrenching pain out of nowhere. “Kaito…oh, Kaito… Sob…” It really had been over a year since I’d seen her last. It couldn’t have been last night at all. Her hair had grown and her face had matured, but she cried like the same old kid sister I had always known. “Mai… Ha-ha. I’m sorry. I guess you’ve been worried about me.” I tried to suppress whatever emotion was forcing its way out of me. It had always been my job as the older brother to comfort Mai when she was sad. I gave her a gentle pat on the head until she calmed down. “I’ll have to go for a bit,” I said. “They want to do some scans.” “If you’d like to come with us to the next room, please, Miss Ukei,” said one of the nurses to her. “There’s something we need to tell you…” “…Okay.” I parted with Mai, and the nurses led me down the linoleum halls of the hospital. “Your sister has been worried sick about you,” one of them said. “She’s been coming every day after school to check up on you… Mr. Ukei?! Is something the matter?” I was crying. I assumed it was because I’d let my sister see me at my weakest. “N-no, it’s nothing,” I said. “I don’t know why. I just felt so…” The nurse tittered softly. “I think it’s nice. You don’t often see siblings getting on so well these days.” “Yeah…you’re right. That’s it. That’s all it is…” I didn’t think I’d ever wept so hard in my life. Don’t get me wrong, I was happy that my sister cared so much about me, but to cry because of it? If Kenta found out, I’d never hear the end of it. He always said I was obsessed with her. I wiped my tears and proceeded to the scanning room. Little did I know at the time that Kenta would never make fun of me again. After the scan, I headed back to my hospital room to find Mai there, along with two unfamiliar men. One, a plump, middle-aged fellow in an old tan suit, and the other a taller, more sharply dressed gentleman in a striking black suit. I assumed they must have been hospital staff. “…Doctor, please tell me,” asked Mai, standing up from her chair. “Did you find anything wrong with Kaito?” “The MRI turned up no abnormalities. He’s fine.” “Don’t worry about me, Mai. In fact, I feel great.” “…Really? You’re sure you’re feeling okay? You’re not lying to me, are you, dear brother? Did they find out you’ve become even more of an imbecile than you already were?” Mai held my sleeve and refused to let go. She’d been clingy like that ever since she was a kid. The insults were an old habit, too, and knowing why she did it, it was hard to tell her to stop. Anyway, I found it endearing, so I didn’t complain. To be honest, I sort of enjoyed it. Come to think of it, isn’t it a weekday? Shouldn’t you be at school, Mai? It’s the middle of the day. She didn’t have to skip school just to come and see me. I was glad she cared, though. Besides, I knew she’d only get mad if I said anything. “Listen, son. You mind if we have a word?” asked the plump fellow, tactlessly inserting himself into the conversation. “Name’s Miyagawa, and I’m with the Iizuka precinct.” “My name’s Onishi,” said the other gentleman. “Pleased to meet you.” Both of them showed me their badges. “Y-you’re with the police?” I asked. “That’s right. We’ve got a couple of questions for you, young man. You see…” “Miyagawa. Remember, this boy is still in the hospital. I know the case is important, but I would ask you to refrain from being so heavy-handed.” “You got me there. I suppose I was a little overeager. All right, Onishi, there’s no need to look so glum. Did I upset you?” “Your behavior upsets me.” Miyagawa chuckled while the man in the black suit, Onishi, sighed. “Er…what’s this about?” I ventured. “Mr. Ukei, please take a seat. There’s something we need to tell you.” “O-okay.” We all sat down around a table, and the nurse left to fetch some tea. After a short while, the doctor began speaking. “As far as we can tell, your injuries should be no impediment to your day-to-day life. Your deepest wounds were those in your shoulders, which have both fully healed. There’s no numbness or paralysis, either, but we’d like to keep you under observation here at the hospital for a couple of days, just in case.” “I see. And what about my amnesia?” That was what I was most concerned about right now. “We’ve done two MRI scans, but we can’t find anything in your brain to suggest a cause,” the doctor explained. “Your amnesia seems to be purely psychosomatic in nature.” “So…how long will it take to remember, do you think? I have entrance exams coming up, you see…” I wasn’t looking forward to cramming in a year’s worth of material in only a few months. Worst-case scenario, I’d fail the exams, and then where would I be? “Entrance exams? Ah-ha-ha! That’s the least of your worries, son!” “Mr. Miyagawa, I’m afraid if you don’t treat this poor boy with a little more tact, I’ll have to ask you to leave the room,” said the doctor. “…You are a handful at times, Miyagawa,” added the other policeman. “Oh, I do apologize. Me and my big mouth.” “…Er…what did you mean by that?” I asked, feeling a little apprehensive. Mai clutched my sleeve even tighter. “Mr. Ukei,” said the doctor. “I want you to stay very calm as I tell you this. First, as I said, you were brought here to the hospital ten days ago. We received a call from your school, where you were found with severe cuts and blood loss, as if you’d been attacked. You had two large stab wounds when you were brought here, one on each shoulder.” “At school? How did that happen? So…it wasn’t a car accident, then?” It was starting to dawn on me why these two detectives were here. Something truly sinister must have happened to me. “I’ll take over the explanation from here, if you don’t mind,” said Miyagawa, raising a cup of freshly poured tea to his lips. “Doubt a doctor will be able to explain anyway. I’ll get the ending out of the way first: Mr. Ukei, you’ve been missing for over sixteen months. The reason you don’t need to worry about entrance exams is because you never made it to third year. Heh, guess you still got finals, though.” “…What?” The detective had told me something very unsettling indeed. There was only one question in my mind. “…You mean…I have to retake second year?” “’Fraid so, son! Ha-ha-ha!” Miyagawa burst into uproarious laughter, bereft of compassion for my plight. After he finished guffawing, he continued his explanation. “On June 8, 2015, there was a mass disappearance at Fujinomiya Institute for Secondary Education. Nearly two hundred students and teachers up and vanished into thin air just before classes were due to start.” “A mass disappearance?” I replied, astounded. “At our school?” “You heard me right. In fact, it’s being treated as the largest mass disappearance event in history. But the weirdest part is what the witnesses claim to have seen. You know, the other four hundred students, teachers, and staff who were there when shit went down. All of ’em insist they saw some kind of magic circle of light appear around the ones who went missing, about a meter across.” “…You mean, like, from a game?” “Something like that, yeah. I tell you, when I saw the video one of ’em took on their phone, I thought it was an ad for a new fantasy movie.” Miyagawa sat back theatrically in his seat and sighed. “However,” he continued, “we just can’t seem to get to the bottom of what really happened. How did so many people go missing without a trace? And now you show up. I guess you know what I’m going to say next, don’t you? You were one of the students who went missing that day. The only one we’ve found after more than a year of chasing dead ends. What’s more, you suddenly appeared in the middle of that classroom in a ring of light, just like how you disappeared. Think you can explain all that to me, son? This old man just can’t keep up.” “…” “So you really don’t remember anything, do you? You’re our last clue, son. If you don’t give us something, we’ll have to pull the plug on the whole investigation.” I disappeared over a year ago? Right in the middle of school, along with nearly two hundred other people? Inside some sort of…what, magic pentagram? I’d never heard anything so absurd. I could barely process what he was saying. “What on earth are you talking about?” I asked, the words spilling out before I could stop them. However, my flippant disregard only seemed to anger the detective, Miyagawa. “You gotta give us somethin’. Your best friends Kenta Kida and Suehiko Ito disappeared that day as well!” “Th-they did?!” I could only really half follow the conversation, but hearing the names of my two friends was like a stab to the gut. “Why are you the only one who’s come back?! And how did you return at all?! Where are the others who disappeared with you?!” “Please, calm yourself, Mr. Miyagawa,” said the doctor, but the detective’s outburst could not be stopped. “Shut it! A hundred and eighty-six people went missing, and we’ll never know anything unless this boy speaks up! Where have you been the last year and four months?! What do you—?!” Clatter! “…Get out. Don’t you dare speak to my dear brother that way. Your fat belly is ugly enough without you sticking your snout in the dirt for truffles, pig.” Mai’s chair toppled to the floor as she stood, a dark shadow crossing her stern face. Oh, shit. She’s really about to lose it. The women of our household all hid a deadly poison beneath their gentle facades. Their words were laced with venom at the best of times, but rage only exacerbated it. And Mai was especially protective of her friends and family. “Settle down, Mai. It’s okay, really…” “If you can’t stand up for yourself, dear brother, then keep quiet. Otherwise, you’re just wasting oxygen.” “Oof…” My little sister chopped me to pieces. It felt more hurtful than usual today for some reason. But this reminder of my usual life came as a welcome reprieve from the otherwise highly unusual events of the day. “Mr. Miyagawa, I understand how you must feel, but I must insist you leave the boy alone. He’s had enough excitement for one day, I fear,” the doctor added. “Come on, Miyagawa, listen to the doctor. We’ll come back another time,” Onishi said. Miyagawa closed his eyes in thought, then spoke. “…You’re right. Sorry about that. But let me just say one last thing, son. Somewhere in your head is a clue that’ll lead us to the truth. Something that’ll help us bring those hundred and eighty-six people back home. If you remember anything, anything at all, please tell us.” “…I understand. If I do, you’ll be the first to know.” “Thank you, son.” Then the two detectives, Miyagawa and Onishi, stood, bowed deeply, and left the room. “…Miyagawa, you really must exercise discretion. I know you’re desperate for new leads, but don’t forget what happened last month. If you’re not careful, the public could turn against us at the drop of a hat.” “Yes, I know. I just wanted to make sure the kid was telling the truth, that’s all. Did he really forget everything?” Miyagawa shrugged and sighed. “We’ve been on this case for over a year, Onishi, and what have we got to show for it? Still, I knew there was something special about the Ukei family. Kaito’s parents fell to their deaths on the same day he disappeared, and his aunt and grandmother went missing, too. Those magic circles even came after the sister, and she wasn’t anywhere near the school. You really think all that’s just a coincidence?” “I couldn’t say,” I replied. “Kaito is the only one who’s returned, that’s true. But don’t forget that there were no witnesses around to verify the sister’s claim… Still, it’s too early to do anything rash. The police have already lost the public’s trust once over this case. We have to tread carefully.” I sighed, but Miyagawa only laughed. “Ha-ha-ha. I don’t blame the public, Onishi. We’ve been on this case for sixteen months without turning up a damn thing.” I was still concerned about the Ukei siblings, though. They were the victims of this case, and I pitied them. I felt we ought to leave them in peace. “Well, we still have to focus on cleaning up this mess,” Miyagawa said. “If the boy can’t tell us anything, perhaps he can still act as the bait.” “…Sometimes, Miyagawa, you should keep your thoughts to yourself. Besides, we have officers from every department out pulling weeds these days.” Trust in the police force was at an all-time low, owing to a recent blunder in the handling of this high-profile case. People had gotten killed because of it, and it wasn’t something the police could simply cover up. We would be treading on dangerously thin ice for the time being. “Ha-ha-ha. Good luck to ’em, I say. As long as the roots survive, it doesn’t matter how many weeds you pull. They’ll always grow right back.” “Just try not to attract public outrage, Miyagawa. Do keep in mind I’m supposed to be monitoring your behavior.” “Sorry ’bout that. But you don’t need to worry, Onishi. Anything happens, I’ll be the fall guy.” “Miyagawa!” “Ha-ha-ha!” I couldn’t believe this man. “Still, Onishi. What do you make of it all? Where’s the boy been all this time, huh? You really think he could have…?” “I presume you’re referring to…” The public had come up with a theory to explain the events they’d witnessed on video, but it was absurd. Laughable. The disappeared people, they said, had been transported to another world. “It’s hard to believe, I must say,” I replied. “And unfortunately, there was no video of Kaito coming back. However, he was wearing some rather strange clothes when he reappeared…” “Onishi, I’m an old dog, you know. I musta watched that video dozens of times. I never believed it for a second…until I saw that boy today.” For once, I saw an honest side to Miyagawa, stripped of the bluff and bluster. He was being vulnerable with me. “I can’t for the life of me think what he’s been up to these past sixteen months. Let me ask you a question, Onishi: When was the last time you felt threatened by an unarmed man?” “…” In defiance of his supposed abstinence from smoking, Miyagawa put a cigarette to his mouth and lit it. I wanted to say, “Don’t be silly, he’s just a kid,” but something held me back. Because I had felt it, too. …A fear like the time my father and I had gone hunting in the mountains and had stared down a wounded bear. After the detectives left, the doctor introduced himself as Koichi Maeno. We talked a little about what treatments were to follow, and then he sent me to a hospital room. A nurse guided me there, then quickly departed, leaving Mai and me to ourselves. “…I can’t believe I have to repeat a year,” I said. I couldn’t think of where else to begin. I’d lost over a year’s worth of memories, all my friends had been turned to light and spirited away by magic, and I was the only person to have come back. “A year… A whole year… It’s a long time.” It hadn’t really felt like I’d been gone all that long, but now the reality of the situation was starting to sink in. “…Mai. Is what that detective said true? Are Kenta and Suehiko really gone?” I was still expecting her to come clean at any moment and explain how the whole thing was some elaborate prank. But Mai’s eyes drooped—so imperceptibly that only someone in the family could have noticed—and she shook her head. “…Out of all your friends, dear brother, the only one who didn’t go missing is Yuuto.” “H-he’s still around?!” “The police were conducting an open investigation, and they showed me the list of names of the people who disappeared.” Mai reached into her bag and pulled out her phone, swiping across the screen with a slender forefinger. “Look at this,” she said, handing it to me. She’d pulled up the front page of the police website. Beneath a banner asking for witnesses was a list of names that scrolled across the bottom of the screen, and on it I found the names of my two friends, Suehiko Ito and Kenta Kido. In fact, most of my classmates were there as well. “How…? This can’t…” A meaningless, instinctive refusal issued from my lips. I had never expected that text on a screen could make me feel such dread. The detective’s words sounded once more in my head. The key to finding them was hidden somewhere in the void of my memories. What happened? And why don’t I remember any of it? Dammit, what do I do? Whenever I tried to remember anything, it was as though I were trapped in a deep swamp. The loss and impatience fanned the flames of my fear and caused my blood to race. “…You should sleep, dear brother. I can’t stand you looking as downtrodden as a filthy sewer rat any longer.” While turning on the waterworks, my clever little sister shrewdly slipped her phone out of my hand. She’d acted the same way I remembered her, out of concern for me, yet I couldn’t help realizing just how much she’d grown. Time had marched on without me. My forgetting it didn’t mean it hadn’t happened. Somewhere inside me, within the deepest recesses of my heart… “…Rgh!” It hurt. A pounding headache, like a fire trying to burn its way through my skin and bones. “Just get some sleep, dear brother. I wouldn’t want your unappealing face to grow any wearier, or else nobody will be able to love you except me.” “You’re right, Mai. Thanks. Sorry for worrying you.” As soon as she mentioned fatigue, I felt tiredness assail me. It was still early evening, but I couldn’t stave off sleep any longer. I could think about my predicament later. So I lay down in bed, and Mai gently pulled the covers over me. You know, it wasn’t all bad being sick every once in a while. At least I had my sister to look after me. I’d tell her I could feel the love, except she might twist my ear off. “…It’s my job to fix you, useless brother. You just rest easy now…” “Huh? Mai…?” My sister closed her lips again without explaining what she meant. It preyed on my mind, but I was powerless against the warm blankets, so I quickly closed my eyes. “It’s my fault…sob. It’s all my fault.” In a corner of the room, there was a crying child. No, not just any child. It was me. “I’m sorry. I’m so, so, sorry…” An old dream. A bitter memory of events long ago, now scorched into my mind. Mom and Dad were out of the house and had left me, a new elementary-schooler, alone with Mai. She was often sick and rarely left the house, and she had been confined to bed with a fever that morning. “Can I do anything for you, Mai? I know, I’ll read you a book if you like.” “I don’t want book. I want to hold hands.” “Well, okay. I can do that.” As I took her clammy palms, I remember she looked lost in the clouds. “Your hands… So warm…” “Do you need anything else?” “Nu-uh… Just stay with me… I don’t wanna be alone…” “Okay, sure. Then I’ll stay right here.” Rendered weak by her cold, Mai seemed much meeker than usual. I held her hand, and she gradually drifted off to sleep. I always found it cute the way she couldn’t stand being alone. Mom and Dad would usually take care of her when she fell ill, but they weren’t here right now. There was only me. I felt proud, grown-up. My bratty little sister was being nice to me for the first time in my life. It felt good. Right now, I was the only person she could rely on. I didn’t want anyone to take my newfound strength away from me. And that was where my mistakes began. I immediately forgot the most important thing. Because I stood up and left my sister alone. I went down the street, coins in hand, to buy my sister a tub of her favorite apple jelly from the convenience store. She’ll love to have some when she wakes up, I thought. But in doing so, I broke my promise. I’d decided that was what Mai wanted without asking her and left her all alone by herself. No sooner had I spoken the words “I’ll stay right here” than I went back on them. When Mai woke up, she left the house to go looking for me and was hit by a car. “Oh God, please. Please don’t let her die…” I watched the ambulance take her away, as if into a dark crevasse from which she would never return. The house I returned to alone had never felt so cold. I was her big brother. How could I ever have made her feel that way? I was pathetic. I tucked in my knees and shivered, as though packing myself away into a tiny little box. “Mmh… Mmm… Ah…” I awoke feeling worse than I had before I’d gone to sleep. I wasn’t tired, but the bad aftertaste of the dream clung to me. “It’s nighttime already… Damn, my sleep schedule is so messed up.” I must have been even more exhausted than I thought. According to the illuminated clockface, it was already past eight PM. The only thing I could hear was the regular beeping of the hospital equipment. It felt like I was the last man on the planet. The cold stillness reminded me of my childhood home, where I’d waited alone for Mai to come back. Come to think of it, it was this very hospital that she’d been taken to. Perhaps that was why I’d had that dream. On my bedside table, I found a note that read, “See you tomorrow, dear brother. I’ll bring a fresh change of clothes. Make sure to chew slowly when you eat and wait quietly in your bed like a dead fish.” It was full of my sister’s characteristic bitterness. “…I’m thirsty.” Upon realizing this, I also noticed just how hungry I was. Do they not bring patients meals in places like this? I wondered. Mai had mentioned food in her note, but perhaps they’d already taken my dinner away, since I was asleep. “…I don’t think it’s important enough to ring the bell for a nurse,” I thought aloud. “I’ll live. I’ll just go and see if they have a snack bar or something.” It was then that I realized I had no money. I searched the desk nearby, but my phone and wallet were nowhere to be found. “Urgh… Well, I have to eat something.” Somehow, the realization that I couldn’t procure any food made me feel even hungrier. I stayed there worrying about what to do for a while before heaving a deep sigh and exiting the room. All I could do was track down a nurse and see if they would bring me anything to eat. The only people in the hall outside seemed to be other patients. The layout was exactly the same as when Mai had been hospitalized here. Following a vague recollection from a lifetime ago, I went down the halls in search of some kind of floor plan. But then, just as I was rounding a corner, I heard a voice. “Oh, but isn’t it awful about that boy on the third floor? He was involved in that disappearance last year, I heard.” “Oh, him. It’s such a shame what happened to him, but I can’t help feeling scared, too, you know? They say it wasn’t his fault, but still…” Disappearance? Are they talking about me? I thought. “But this’ll be good for his sister as well. She’s had no one to rely on ever since it happened, you know.” Hmm? No one to rely on…? A discomforting chill ran down my spine, as though I knew what was coming. A terrible emotion crept into my heart. I knew I was going to regret hearing whatever came next, but I couldn’t bring myself to run away. “She’s so mature for her age, but at the end of the day she’s still a sixteen-year-old.” “Yes, and even though she got that insurance payout, money can’t buy back her family, can it?” “It must have been so hard for her after her parents passed. And with her aunt and grandmother missing, too…” I felt a click, like I’d just been locked in that cold room, waiting for Mai. Mom and Dad…were dead? Auntie and Grandma…were missing? What…the hell? What the hell what the hell what the hell? “N…no. It can’t be…” But now that I thought about it, some things just didn’t add up otherwise. The first person who came to my room was Mai. Mom and Dad hadn’t shown up, even when people had started explaining things later. I’m not being bigheaded or anything, but I knew Mom and Dad, and they would have come running as soon as they heard the news, just like Mai had. And if they couldn’t, they’d have tried calling me, at the very least. But…what if they were…? “…Dead? Mom and Dad are really dead…?” The moment those words left my mouth, it was like I was already completely convinced. “Auntie and Grandma are gone, too?” Mom’s mother was the last grandparent I had. She lived in a retirement home somewhere. The only other living relative who could possibly support us would have been my aunt. If both of them had disappeared, then… …What about Mai? Who was taking care of her? Who had been looking after her all this time? “That’s… I can’t…” My eyes started to spin. My chest grew tight, and I found it difficult to breathe. My pulse hastened, and my ears began to ring. “I have to go… I have to go see her right now!” I had to see Mai while I still could. I had to speak to her as soon as possible! “Grh!!” Gripped by an uncertain fear, I took one step back, then another, and bolted down the hallway, silently searching for a way out. The front entrance was already locked. Attempting to steady my runaway heart, I looked around for a back door. The security guard there let out a huge yawn, but it was simple enough to conceal my presence from him as I gently slipped into the night. However, the sight that greeted me at the main road was that of an unfamiliar part of town. The lights of the shops and houses blotted out the night, and the streets were filled with people. As the cool night air went to my head, I realized I didn’t know the way home. “Dammit…!” Still, the hospital couldn’t be far from where I lived, and I knew the general area. If I just walked down the main road, I’d soon come across something I recognized. As I was contemplating this, I heard someone call out to me. “…H-hey!! Wait up!!” I turned in the direction of the voice to find a bespectacled woman running up to me. “Phew, you’re a fast one, I’ll give you that. Let me catch my breath.” She wore a coat, had a square black bag slung over her shoulder, and looked to be in her late twenties. As she huffed, her breath came out white in the cold. “Haah… That’s better. Now, you must be Kaito, right? Kaito Ukei?” “Yes? What of it?” “I knew it! I knew it was worth waiting here for you!!” The woman fist-pumped with a pleasant, sociable smile. I didn’t have the faintest idea who she was. How did she know my name? In any case, she either ignored or failed to notice my suspicious gaze. “My name’s Kumiko Kawakami, and I’m a reporter for a magazine called Utopia Monthly,” she explained. “I was wondering if you might have some time to chat?” “Sorry, I’m in a hurry. See you.” “That’s great, then how about that restaurant over—? Huh?” I turned and walked away from the reporter without another word, but she ran around in front of me. “H-hey, wait!! Please! Just ten minutes of your time! No, five!” “There’s somewhere I have to be,” I replied. “Leave me alone.” “I’m not giving up that easily! From the look of you, I’d say you just escaped from the hospital, right? I bet I could call them up and get them to take you back into custody. You wouldn’t want that, would you?” You’d call the hospital? Stop me from seeing Mai? As soon as the words sank in, I was overcome by an indescribable darkness that oozed from the very depths of my heart. “Get out of my way get out of my way get out of my way! I have something to do, so make yourself scarce!” “Fine,” I said. “If you won’t get out of my way, then…” I’ll kill you. “Eep?!” “Ah…” Her frightened squeal immediately quenched the pitch-black flame. A darkness I had never felt before. What was that just now? That was no joke, no empty threat. It was like all the blood in my veins had been replaced with something else. For a brief moment, I had genuinely wanted to kill her. To put my hands around her throat. To smash her head into the concrete. What was I thinking? How could I even have contemplated something so…barbaric? I never said it aloud, but I felt the weight of the words nonetheless. I knew through and through that I wasn’t capable of murder. And yet at that moment, I was overcome by an urge to take her life. Like it was the most natural thing in the world. “I-I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to threaten you,” she said. “It’s just…well, I’ve been waiting here all week, you see. I guess I just got a little overenthusiastic…” For better or worse, my confusion over the emotions that had suddenly burst from me had cooled my head a little. “N-no, it’s my fault. But I’m sorry, I need to go.” “Er…sorry to pry, but is it somewhere nearby you’re after? I just worry that if you run around the city like that, you’ll get arrested.” “Well…” Now that she mentioned it, the passersby were staring at me and my white hospital gown, especially now that I was arguing with another pedestrian. For the first time, I realized how reckless it had been to break out of the hospital without a plan. “…Hmm. Seems like you’re not going to talk. Well, I don’t want to make any more of a fuss, and besides, you’re a little scary right now…” Muttering something under her breath, the woman heaved a resigned sigh. “Fine, I’ll call a cab if there’s somewhere you need to go. Don’t worry, I’ll cover the fare. I doubt you have any money on you anyway.” “What? But why?” I was taken aback by her abrupt cooperativeness. But Ms. Kawakami simply reached out and hailed a taxi. Then she handed me a business card with her number scrawled on the back. “In exchange, I’d like you to get in touch with me whenever you feel up for it. We’ll have a nice chat then, okay?” There was an aura behind her pleasant smile that made it surprisingly difficult to argue against. “Here’s the money. You’d better pay me back, you hear? I collect my debts. You can be sure of that. Now go on. Didn’t you say you were in a hurry?” Then she ushered me into the taxi and placed some bills into my hand. “…Thank…thank you.” “No need. I’m hoping your story will make all that back and then some.” Giving me a wave, she slammed the door shut. “Where to, sir?” I gave the driver my home address, and the cab pulled out into the road. I looked out the window. If memory served me correctly, it wasn’t far to my house by car. As I watched the strange streets go by, they gradually gave way to more familiar ones. It was my old neighborhood, and yet something was different. The churning in my stomach refused to back down. Mai was all alone in that house again. I can’t leave her alone… I just can’t… Being alone is awful. It makes everything seem so dark that you can’t tell what’s what anymore. It starts to feel like you’re at the bottom of a deep ocean, surrounded by foes on all sides. That’s why I kept running and running, trying not to look at it, trying to find somewhere I could breathe free of that dark water… “…Hmm? What…what am I talking about?” My head ached. Now that I had calmed down, I started to notice the inconsistency in my emotions. Something wasn’t right. Something about it just didn’t make sense. I was worried about Mai, that much was true. But why was I so…? “Sir, we’re nearly there now.” “Oh, ah. This is close enough, thank you.” I still wasn’t thinking straight by the time I arrived at my front door. A small house on the side of a hill. In its modest yard were the beautiful potted herbs my mother had tended. And in the garage, without a speck of dust, was the motorbike my father had painstakingly cared for. I felt nostalgic, even though I had been here only yesterday, from my point of view. Perhaps even though the memories were gone, the yearslong distance still remained. I never thought I would be moved to tears by the sight of my own home. Still, right now the important thing was Mai. “…” I slipped the spare key out from underneath the garden plant pot and entered through the front door. As soon as I stepped into the entryway and removed my shoes, I felt calmer. At the far end of the hallway, light was leaking out from a door that was slightly ajar. Mai must be in there. I didn’t know what I was going to say to her, but I began walking softly down the hall. “…That’s what I think. He’s been gone so long, after all.” I noticed a shrine to our parents, accompanied by a photograph of them smiling blankly, along with the cloying scent of incense. “He says he’s forgotten everything that happened. I know he’s always been a birdbrain, but this is ridiculous. Still…I’m glad he hasn’t changed. He’s the same old big brother I remember, and I hope he always stays that way.” Mai kneeled before the shrine with her back to me, hands pressed together, talking to the air without noticing my presence. “He was hurt so badly that he was unconscious for ten days. I finally got to see my family again, but I was still alone… You’re all so mean. Where did you go off to without me? Why did you leave your precious Mai behind?” I heard her voice quaver. Was she crying? “I’ve been so lonely…all this time. Please come back…Mom, Dad…” I couldn’t just stand there any longer. “Mai!!” “What?! Who’s—?!” “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I left you by yourself, and I don’t even remember why…” I walked over to Mai and hugged her from behind. Right now, I didn’t care about how strange I was acting. I didn’t care about the dark emotions whose origins I couldn’t trace. At this moment, none of that mattered. “K-Kaito?! How did you…?! Ah, wait, you’ve got it all wrong, Mom and Dad are, um…” “It’s okay. It’s okay…” I held her tightly, so tightly, as if making up for everything I’d lost. So that nobody could take her away from me as well. “I’m sorry. I wasn’t there for you. Some brother I am.” “…But you came back. You came back, dear brother. Once you get out of the hospital, I’ll take care of you, and you can help around the house. It’ll be just like before…” “Yes,” I said. “I’ll be with you. I’ll always be with you… No matter what happens, I’m never going to leave you behind again.” I wasn’t going to lose her again. I couldn’t afford to lose her again. Yes, that was all I wished for. All I needed… “…Grh. Not this again…” “Kaito…?” My head started pounding. An emotion wormed its way out of the deepest recesses of my mind. From a fathomless dark hole, to bind me. Something I didn’t understand.