Chapter 78

Then she scooped up a handful of seawater and splashed it all over Yuuko. “Are you actually angry?! That’s kinda unfair!” While watching the two of them playing together… ““““Hot!”””” …we four men spoke in unison. Nanase and Haru watched, rolling their eyes. “Well, then,” Kazuki said. “Isn’t it Saku’s turn next?” “Do you really think I’ll do it after watching that?” Nanase laughed. “Well, isn’t it the husband’s role to make up for his endgame wife’s failure?” Haru choked with laughter. “You don’t need to be so cautious. Never mind what happened with Yuuko, it’s too dangerous to yell at someone like you, when you’re wielding a wooden sword. I just want to eat watermelon normally.” Well, that’s true, too. “All right, I’ll do it.” When I said that, Yuuko came back from the ocean, dripping with water, and held out the sword. “Kill my enemy, Saku.” “Hmph, my secret sword, Swallow Cut, will cut him down with a single stroke.” “I thought it was two strokes?” Yua squeezed the water out of the soaked towel. “All right, Saku, crouch down a sec.” I did as she said, and my eyes were covered with the towel from behind. If I tilt my head a little now… No, no, never mind! Squeeze, squeeze… Yua seemed to be tying it more tightly than necessary. The wet towel adhered tightly to my face, leaving only the slightest gap. I could hear Kaito talking. “Ten seconds will be nothing to Saku, so let’s make him go thirty.” “Hey, that’s way too long!” But my protest was in vain, and the others began yelling. “Ready, set…” ““““““Go!”””””” Darn it, I was just going to have to do it. “Come get some!” I screamed and kicked off against the sand. One, two… I spun around at about twice the speed of Yuuko. This has always been a standard game in the baseball club, since I was little, so I’m used to it. Or at least, there was a time when I thought it was NBD. I managed to hold out for about twenty seconds, but after that, I couldn’t tell if I was spinning clockwise or counterclockwise. Even though everyone was raising their voices and shouting at me, I couldn’t understand a single thing. My inner ears were reeling. Twenty nine… Thirty… I thought that was what I heard, so I stopped. But no, I couldn’t stop at all. I’d underestimated this game. My body felt as floppy as liquified candy, and I collapsed with all the force of a mallet pounding mochi. My head was still spinning. Behind the blindfold, I couldn’t tell which way was up and which was down. Yikes, Saku Chitose couldn’t show weakness in public, now, could he? Dumb thought to have. With a thud, thick, muscular arms thrust beneath my armpits. Next, thin but firm hands grabbed both my knees. Then, finally, a limp hand supported my butt. “Hey, what’s happening?” No one answered. Instead, I got lifted up in the air. “Dammit! Kaito, Kazuki, Kenta!” I had a bad feeling about this and tried to struggle, but I was helpless. I was being transported somewhere. Snort. Snort. Giggle. I could hear Yuuko, Nanase, Yua, and Haru all spluttering with laughter. Then I was tossed, like an old futon mattress. The sand against my back was cold, so cold… Hard to believe it was summertime sand. Before I could speak, I… —Spatter. Spatter. Spatter. Something that I thought was probably sand started to pile up on my body, and… —Pat, pat. Slap, slap. Stamp. …the weight was building on me from above. Darn it, was that last one Haru stepping on me?! When I was completely stuck, the towel was removed. I opened my eyes bit by bit against the dazzling sun. “Does your back hurt, Saku?” With those kind words came a pair of bell-shaped D cups right in front of my eyes. Ah, I know how you feel now, Yuuko. I, too, was caught in a very crafty trap. “…You traitor!” “I’m sorry. I succumbed to peer pressure. Mizushino whispered the plan to me right beforehand.” “I’ve heard that one before! How mean, and after I helped you look for Chi’s mom and dad, too!” “Um, well, Saku, I thought you might like to try being the camel…” “Are you insane, Yua? Camels don’t get buried in the desert!” I had been buried alive with only my head sticking out. And what’s more… “You know, Kazuki, you were after me from the beginning, weren’t you?” This was why he’d suggested the spinning game, and why he’d nominated me to go second. Kazuki put his hands on his knees and looked down at me with a suspicious-looking grin. “Since you took your sweet time coming, we built a big hole for you.” “Oh, I thought the sand was weirdly cool.” Because it wasn’t exposed to direct sunlight, maybe? Before long, a shadow crouching beside Yua entered the edge of my vision. “Yuuko…” She’d been the first to volunteer. Maybe the others had kept her in the dark about everything? Yuuko slowly opened her mouth and said, “Ha-ha, the plan was a big success!” “You! You were an accomplice all along!” “Hee-hee.” “Well, then,” I said, “Why did you offer to go first in the first place?” “Huh? Because I wanted to do the watermelon game, too! Duh!” “…Are you crazy?” “A little bit!” Kenta, who was listening to the exchange, spoke then. “You know, we wondered, too. Like, what the heck for? Still, it worked to lower your defenses, so that was good.” Kaito spoke next. “That’s right. That’s why I quickly made up that whole wrong direction gag.” Right. He wasn’t just goofing around; he had a plan in play. “Anyway,” Nanase said, crouching down and grinning. “What cup size would you prefer, Chitose?” “Uh… Let’s say yours, Nanase.” “Oh, that’s your preference, is it?” “Uh, well…” I was screwed no matter what I said. Haru sat down opposite Nanase. Any direction I looked, it was a summertime treat for the eyes, but in my current position, I couldn’t really enjoy it. Haru grinned. “Chitose. We can use mine as a reference. ” “Can’t picture it, sorry.” “All right. Let’s give him a shell bra and make him a mermaid tail, take a ton of photos, and then send them out to everyone we know.” “Sorry!” Pat, pat, scrape, scrape, smooth, smooth. …And there went the last shreds of my purity. After everyone ate watermelon and played for a while, I lay down in the pop-up tent and took a rest. Before I knew it, the sky was already starting to show signs of twilight. I have to admit, the long-distance swimming showdown with Kaito and Haru was too much. Actually, it probably wasn’t just because it was a long-distance swim, but because swimming in the sea drains you way more than swimming in a pool. Also, we all hate to lose, so we were in a dead heat until the very end. Actually, Haru started off by grabbing my leg, so it was mostly just a mud fight. Pulling, being pulled, being embraced with arms pinned behind my back… Not that I returned the gesture, of course. Meanwhile, Yuuko and Yua were happily making a sandcastle together, and Nanase and Kazuki were standing side by side on the beach, drinking drinks in a cool kind of way. Kenta became the next victim of a sand burial. By the way, when I entered the shallow water last, I knocked Kaito down and snatched the victory, so the two losers were now going to buy shaved ice at the beach house. A feeling of exhaustion and freedom enveloped my entire body. It felt like we’d really made the most of this time, to a degree that seemed almost infeasible, and I felt a feeling of pure wellness. Yes, I was right here, in the moment, but I also felt like I was sitting on a chair set up in front of a white screen. —None of us are Peter Pan. I knew with near certainty that when I grew up, I wouldn’t be able to come back here anymore. I won’t be able to find the door to this summer again. The sea we might see from this spot five or ten years from now wouldn’t be the one we were seeing now. While I was thinking about that… “Let me join!” …Yuuko came rolling into the tent. “…” I glanced over at her, then sucked in a breath. Yuuko was lying down, with dripping droplets of seawater all over her body, the ends of her lustrous hair clinging to her supple skin. The bikini top I glanced down at was sagging, like bags of goldfish scooped up at a summer festival and left behind somewhere. “Hey, Saku?” I tried to answer in my usual nonchalant manner. “What’s up?” “…I want to take a picture.” She fiddled with her phone as she spoke. “Well, sure.” “Then would you lie on your back?” I did as I was told and gazed up at the tent ceiling. Slowly, slowly, Yuuko approached, and her shoulder touched mine. Her phone camera snapped a couple times. “Could you come outside, too? Unless you’re sleepy?” “I mean, I don’t mind,” I said, sitting up, “but why…?” “I just want to keep as many memories of this summer with you as possible, Saku. So that just looking at them will take me right back to today.” “You don’t have to be so dramatic. We’ll probably all do the summer study camp again next year.” Yuuko shook her head. “—I want to remember you as you are today. Once this day ends, I’ll never again be able to encounter this exact version of you.” That was unexpectedly deep. And when I gave it some real thought, she was right. After today, I’d never again be able to encounter this exact version of Yuuko. Even next year, on this same day, it’ll be different. I realized Yuuko’s thoughts were oddly congruent with my own thoughts from a few moments ago. I guess even Yuuko gets a little sentimental sometimes. When we got out of the tent, we took a ton of photos. Under the beach umbrella, on the beach, in the shallows, at the beach house. We got a selfie of us with Kenta, who’d been buried and then completely forgotten about, then with a sandcastle in the background, then with Yua, and Haru and Kaito, clutching shaved ice, side by side. Then with Nanase and Kazuki. It’s like Yuuko was really trying to preserve every part of the whole summer vacation. “Let’s take a group pic,” Yuuko suggested. Everyone laughed and agreed. Yua asked a woman walking nearby to take our photo, and Nanase hurriedly activated the camera on her phone, while Haru gobbled the last of her shaved ice and then rapped her knuckles against her forehead. Kaito and Kazuki joined us, shoulder to shoulder, and Kenta joined in next to them. The setting sun stained the night sky with dusk colors, the horizon as crisp as a line someone had drawn. Pink, crimson, violet, azure, ultramarine…like the fireworks we saw that day. The young woman took the phone from Yuuko, pointed the lens at us, and said, “Ready?” “Say cheese.” “““Cheese!””” With a snap, the summer vacation of our sophomore year of high school was cut out of time and preserved forever. —But someday, in a distant summer… …when we look back on this moment with hopeless nostalgia, I’m sure our memories will be far more vivid than what this photograph shows. Once we finished changing clothes and returned to the hotel on the bus, it was seven thirty PM. After putting our stuff in our rooms, we moved to the campsite on the premises. The barbecue was already underway. A number of tables, chairs, and grills were lined up, and the scene was aglow from lanterns hung all around. Kura noticed us and yelled over. “Hey, you guys can use the table and the grill over there. Miss Misaki’s got the meat and veggies, and I’ve got charcoal and lighters over here. Start the fire yourself.” After grabbing the necessary items and arriving at the designated table, we found paper plates, disposable chopsticks, and sauce for the meat already set out. The meat, seafood, and vegetables were already cut, too, so all we had to do was grill everything up. For a carb, we had omusubi. Pretty bland and standard, sure, but this was just to blow off some steam from the study camp, so nobody wanted to put in the effort for a big batch of curry or anything. “Hey, Saku, do you know how to start the fire?” Yuuko came over to where I was standing in front of the portable grill. “Yeah, I mean, we have fire starters. I think it’s pretty straightforward.” I took off the grill and lined up four fire starters in the tray, then filled the area around it with charcoal. Yuuko was watching me curiously. “Won’t the charcoal catch fire better if you put it directly on top?” “I think you need to make room for air to flow. I mean, that’s just what I’ve heard,” I said, touching the lighter to the fuel. “Wow, amazing!!!” “I mean, all I did was set a fire.” Smiling a little at Yuuko’s enthusiastic reaction, I used the tongs to pile some more charcoal on top. Immediately, I heard a dry crackling and popping sound. Should probably leave it alone for a bit. “Hey, guys, we brought drinks.” While I’d been distracted, Yua had returned with bottles of green tea and lemonade. She set up enough cups for everyone and poured based on our requests. After making sure everyone had a drink, I held up mine. “Well, here’s to our final night.” ““““““Cheers!”””””” Clunk, clunk, we brought our paper cups together. I gulped down my lemonade all at once. Maybe it’s because I’d been playing in the sea for half a day, but I felt like my whole body was salted. I’d drunk a lot of water, but for some reason, my thirst persisted. Yuuko chuckled and held up a plastic bottle. “Would you like another refill?” “Please.” With a phwoosh, she filled my cup. “Brim me up.” “All right, all right.” By the way, in the Fukui dialect, “brim me up” means to pour enough in that it’ll create surface tension. Technically, you’d say something like “fill it to the brim,” but we mean it so there’s only a few teensy millimeters left to fill. You want it to look like it’s going to overflow any second, except it won’t. Which, by the way, is kinda hard to pull off with carbonated drinks. “Hey, Saku! I think this charcoal’s looking good to go!” Yuuko called over while I was sipping my soda carefully, so it wouldn’t spill. When I returned to the stove, the charcoal I’d piled up had started to break down a little. The parts that had been in direct contact with the flames were white, and others were starting to glow red. I distributed the charcoal evenly with the tongs. Man, this kind of thing really is exciting for a guy, I thought. It looked like there was some wood for a bonfire, which I was keen to try later. When I set the grill lattice back on, Yua clicked the tongs excitedly. “Let’s grill the tongue meat first.” I burst out laughing when I heard that. I knew it. Yua’s the type to take over when it comes to communal cooking-style dining, like at yakiniku or hot pot restaurants. Yuuko and Haru were the type to specialize in just the eating part, while Nanase was the type to observe and order extra servings when needed. It’s weird how you can predict this kind of thing based on someone’s everyday personality. Shhh. The meat sizzled deliciously on the grill. As she grilled pieces of meat one by one, Yua started talking. “I made some chopped salted spring onion for the table, so when you eat this, guys, try it and see how it switches up the flavor.” Nanase was surprised. “Huh? When did you make that?” “Miss Misaki had a kitchen knife and simple seasonings on hand, so I borrowed them. It’s just chopped spring onion, sesame oil, lemon juice, and chicken stock mixed together.” “You know, I’m usually always the one that gets people saying I’m so thoughtful or whatever, but this is the first time there literally hasn’t been a thing left for me to do.” “Don’t exaggerate. Here, Saku, give me your plate.” I held it out obediently, and Yua put a nice, juicy piece of grilled tongue on there. Now Yuzuki, Yuuko, Haru, Mizushino, Asano, Yamazaki… She really didn’t leave anyone else a chance to help. “Shall we just sit and enjoy it, Nanase?” “Guess so.” We sat side by side on some outdoor chairs. Since she went through all the trouble, I put the chopped spring onion that Yua made on top of the tongue. Nanase followed suit. ““Let’s eat!”” I popped it into my mouth and chewed. The taste of green onion, lemon, and sesame oil combined well with the crisp, juicy tongue. ““So good!”” we both said at the same time. “Why is meat extra good when it’s charcoal grilled?” I mused. “It’s so nice, eating outside like this.” “Hey, Nanase,” I said. “You hanging out with Kazuki? That was kind of unusual.” Nanase grinned mysteriously. “Huh? Are you jealous, Chitose?” Agh, I didn’t know what to say to that. I’d just said it to make conversation, but I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t a little curious. It’s not just straightforward jealousy, though. “Just kidding,” Nanase continued. “It wasn’t like that. Look, we’re not the types who really like to swim long distances or build sandcastles, are we? We just banded together because of that.” “What did you two talk about?” I asked, out of pure curiosity. To be honest, I couldn’t imagine at all. “It was the first time I’d talked to Mizushino that much. We talked about normal stuff—the gang, studying, club. And if everything was okay after…you know.” After…oh. She must have been referring to the Yan High stalker case. I’d left the trouble of cleaning to Kazuki. “I’d thought Mizushino was just eternally aloof, but when it comes to soccer, he talks with this sudden passion, and his face lights up like a little kid. It was kinda cute. I was surprised.” Nanase chuckled, her expression softening. Like a girl talking about a boy she’s interested in. Looking at her side profile, something tugged at me. For a moment, my mind clouded over. Hold on, what was that just now? Did I just feel…displeasure? Simple jealousy? As soon as I identified how I felt, an indescribable sense of self-hatred suddenly swelled within me. The previous day, after what Kazuki said at the hot spring, I felt a little bad that I hadn’t noticed anything. But if this was what noticing meant… This isn’t cool. I think a part of me has been…self-indulgent. I’d thought I was the only one who could bring out Yuzuki Nanase’s genuine smile. The only one to share such a special experience with her. The only one to get a step closer to her. Maybe that’s why you feel like this? I pondered. But you… Not for Kazuki, not for Kaito… “Chitose…?” “Sorry, bathroom.” I got to my feet by pure reflex. What the hell is this? This is ridiculous. Prick. Prick. Prick. A sharp pain, stabbing at my heart. After washing my face in the bathroom, I finally felt calmer. I think I’d been faintly aware of it all along, but I think the time had come to face it. But not now. This wasn’t a distraction to mull over while we were supposed to be having fun. I locked my emotions up for now and shoved them in the pocket of my shorts. When this trip was over the following day, and I was home, I’d take them out again and examine them properly. There was still more than half of our long summer vacation left. When I returned to the group, Nanase looked uneasy as she spoke to me. “Hey, Chitose, did I—?” I cut her off. “You know what? When I was sitting next to you, I got a sudden flashback of that swimsuit.” Nanase rolled her eyes, then sighed and smiled provocatively. It was an obvious misdirection, but she was kind enough to roll with it. I’d probably only said it because I knew she’d play along. “Oh, really? Did that get your bat swinging, hmm?” I grinned, teasing right back. “Well, it was a conservative play. Incidentally, the pitcher lobbed the ball well within the strike zone.” “Wait! What’s that supposed to mean?” “You were trying to decide whether to go for cute or sexy, Nanase, and landed somewhere in between.” “…You figured that out?!” “Yeah, and that went for Yuuko, too.” “You saw right through our plans?!” “You chose a simple navy bra type, but the playful design showed off your sense of personal style. Instead of increasing skin exposure, you chose to conceal it to create an elegant sex appeal. As for the bottoms, you added cuteness with the bow detail. You avoided an outright sexy type of bikini in all black with gold embellishments, right?” “Hey, wait a minute?!” “And Yuuko went for a cute style with bright patterns and colors, while the lace-up design achieves the same sexy effect as what Yuzuki went for.” “We spent hours deliberating! Don’t just stand there explaining it all…” Then we both burst out laughing. I clutched my stomach, belly-laughing. “But don’t worry. You guys both hit a home run.” All right. Now the mood was back to its usual setting. “Saku, Yuzuki, come get it!” Yua called. ““Coming!”” We both called back amiably and wandered over to the grill. Yua dished out meat, seafood, and vegetables to one after another—Yuuko, Haru, Kazuki, Kaito, and Kenta. “You plan to have some, too, Yua?” I asked. “I’m fine. I’ll eat later, when I can relax.” Yua laughed. “Man…” I smiled and sighed. Yua never changes. Even when she cooks for me at home, she always says, “It’s most delicious when it’s freshly cooked,” and focuses on bringing the dishes to the table. Yet she always lingers in the kitchen. I guess that’s just her personality, but for me, sitting down and tucking in is always best. I sprinkled some chopped spring onion on the grilled tongue and folded it in half. “Here, tongue with spring onion.” When I brought it to Yua’s mouth, she ate it up like a chick. Next, I shook some yakiniku sauce on a kalbi cut of meat. “Here, kalbi.” After Yua was done with that, she requested, “Veggies, too.” “Is green pepper okay?” “Maybe something that’s easier to eat in one bite?” “How about carrot?” “Okay!” I did as she requested and shook some salt on a piece of carrot. “““Hey!!!””” Multiple voices overlapped. Yuuko spoke first, from the vanguard. “I thought I was supposed to be your endgame wife?! There’s no room for me!” Haru jumped in, too. “Feeding her by hand? What do I have to do to—?!” As for Nanase… “…Gah.” She didn’t say anything. The other three guys were also watching and grinning. Hey, don’t go giving me those looks. All you were doing was sitting around pigging out. Kazuki strolled over and spoke. “Hey, Saku, feed me, too.” “Shut up. You want a piece of shiitake to the face?” “Saku, Mizushino, no playing with the food!” ““Yes, ma’am!!!”” And so on and so forth with your fun barbecue shenanigans. Wandering around the campsite with a full belly, I noticed an unlikely couple sitting on chairs around the bonfire. “Ah, Chitose. You sit, too.” Beside Kura, who was beckoning me over, was Asuka. She gave me a slightly awkward wave. I sat down beside Asuka, and after gulping down a long can of happoshu, Kura spoke. “Man, I love a bonfire in summer! With beer! It’s almost too good!” “Are you allowed to drink in front of the students?” “It’s an annual event. Even Miss Misaki is drinking today.” “That might be enough for some people, but I guess it’s a difference of personality.” “So anyway,” Kura said, “how far have you guys gone?” ““Kura!!!”” Asuka and I both yelped at the same time. In this day and age, was he trying to get sued? Kura continued, utterly unconcerned. “What are you saying here? A high school boy and a girl stay overnight together and there’s no progress?” “Sir, if you don’t check yourself, we’ll toss you out at Tojinbo and go home without you.” “Nisshi was all worried about it, too.” Asuka reacted to that. “Wait! What exactly did you discuss with my father?!” “Just so you know, I’m the one who ended up getting roped into all that. Nisshi got all drunk and was like, ‘Kura, you think those two are going to get married?’” “…That’s so freaking embarrassing.” I was squirming with awkwardness, too. “So I told him, ‘If she goes to Tokyo, she’ll soon forget about the man she left behind in the countryside, right? She’ll be bringing a new boyfriend home with her soon enough.’” Crack, went the bonfire. Kura was grinning right at me. Asuka remained silent, not wanting to respond to the provocation. When she spoke, it was subdued. “—I won’t forget the town where I was born and raised. Or you.” Kura grinned. “Heh, you kids are wet behind the ears. And I’m an overly doting teacher.” Asuka stared at him. “Nisshi said, ‘My Asuka isn’t a capricious sort of girl. And that Chitose, he’s reckless, but he’s got a spine, which you don’t see a lot of these days.’” ““…”” It’s weird… The other day, when I was talking to Kotone, I had this same kind of thought. Is this what parents are like? Like, if Asuka and I did end up going out, would Mr. Nishino feel happy? Would he feel sadness if we ended up being separated? I mean, those two feelings are polar opposites, you might say. When I talked to Mr. Nishino and Kotone directly, and when I saw them interact with Asuka and Yuuko, I thought they all had such warm family bonds, and I wanted them all to be as happy as possible… Makes me seem like a busybody, maybe. But maybe, somewhere in my heart, I yearn for the warmth of family. Kura lit up a Lucky Strike. “…Well, everything comes with an expiry date. You should just remember that. And we’re not always the ones who get to decide when that date comes.” ““Expiry date…?”” The two of us repeated his metaphor in confused unison. But before an answer could come… “Oh, Saku. You’re drinking beer with Kura…” I heard Yuuko say my name. When I looked up, everyone from Team Chitose was walking this way. Kura chuckled. “’Sup. You wanna drink, too?” “I don’t drink.” Everyone took seats. Apparently, our three-way conversation was over now. Yuuko came to sit beside me, gazing at me. “It’s really hot, isn’t it?” “I mean, we’re sitting in front of a fire in summer.” “How come you’re sitting here to talk?” Pssht. Kura cracked open another beer and responded. “Hmph. Because it’s the manly ideal.” ““““Right!”””” The four guys all agreed at once. “Still,” Nanase said. “It’s nice to have a bonfire. It’s calming to watch.” “I love the smell,” Yua added. “Even though our clothes will probably stink later.” Haru grabbed the tongs. “Hey, Kura, can I add some more firewood?” “Yeah, go for it.” “I sure will!” Asuka suddenly stood up and approached the bonfire. “Aomi, can I try after you?” “Of course! Do you enjoy this stuff, too, Nishino?” “Yeah! I’ve always wanted to do it.” “Okay, hubby, bring me some firewood.” I chuckled and got to my feet. “All right. Yuuko, can you come help?” “Sure thing!” Crack, pop, went the bonfire. Sway, blaze, went the flames. Our shadows vibrated happily beyond the flickering fire. After cleaning up the campsite, I, Yuuko Hiiragi, tapped Saku on the shoulder as we were heading back to the hotel. “Hey, can we talk alone for a little bit?” He turned, his face showing surprise. “All right, but…why don’t we go see the ocean? If I remember correctly, there’s an observation spot nearby.” “Okay!” We left the hotel property, walking side by side. Since the day I ran for vice president in our first year, how many times have I gazed at him like this? Seen from the side, Saku’s lips were about level with my eyeline. Usually, he just tilts his head back a little when he’s amused, but sometimes, he grins like a child. I like both versions of him. I thought about that time I was accused of being a pushy wife. It really felt like that, at first. If he’d asked me for my LINE info, I wouldn’t have said no, but I didn’t feel like asking him for his… But I ended up being the one to ask. I knew he was too kind to say no, but thinking about it now, asking him to walk me home and things like that… It might have… It must have been a little annoying. Still, I like it when Saku sends me off pouting. After walking for a while, I spotted a small triangular roof up ahead. When we got closer, I saw that there were several benches lined up under the roof. Saku turned to me. “What do you want to do?” “Since we came to see the sea, I’d prefer to sit outdoors, not under a roof. As close to the ocean as possible!” “Right?” Saku smiled, walking again. Every time he smiles like that, my heart gives a little thump. Sitting down on a bench, I lifted my arms up and looked at the sky. There were no streetlights, and it was pitch-black, but the stars were shockingly beautiful. It was kind of a shame, though, that the moon was such a thin sliver. It looked as if it were about to disappear. Swoosh, swoosh. The waves rushed in and out. My clothes still smelled of the bonfire. …Oh, man. When this trip is over, when tomorrow comes, when I get home, I’ll have to clean up and do a big wash. “So…” Gazing at the sea, Saku spoke. “So what was it that you wanted to talk about?” For a moment, I didn’t understand what he meant. Then I chuckled. “Sorry, I didn’t actually have a topic in mind. I just wanted to spend some time chatting with you like this, finally.” “Oh, right. So that’s what you wanted.” Saku straightened up. His T-shirt slid up, and I could see his stomach. I quickly averted my eyes and tried to relax my expression. Hey, Saku? I might not get another chance to tell you this. My heart’s been pounding all day, you know? I’d planned to show off my cute swimsuit, but when I saw Saku shirtless, my mind went blank. I mean, his abs were super defined, his arms were bulging, and his back was broad. When I was lying next to him in the tent, taking a photo, I wondered if he could hear my heart pounding. It was such an embarrassing memory, I couldn’t even make myself relive it. It would be so unfair if you weren’t equally flustered by me in my bikini! …That’s what I was thinking, but maybe it was wishing for too much? Saku kept on talking nonchalantly. “It went by so quickly. Tomorrow’s the last day.” “That’s right. It totally wasn’t long enough!” It really, really wasn’t enough. Over these four days, I had so many more things I wanted to talk about and do together. “Damn, I was planning to eat every single item on the buffet table, too.” “What? That’s such a waste of effort!” “I end up just picking and choosing the stuff I like the most.” “Saku, you know you have to eat vegetables, too, right?” “I’ve heard that once or twice before…” Then we both spluttered with laughter. “Thank you, Yuuko.” Saku surprised me with that. “Huh?” I had no idea why he would thank me, so my response sounded a bit weird. “I mean, you’re the one who invited me on the study trip. I didn’t really intend to come. When I got that call from you, I was thinking of refusing at first.” “Seriously?!” I’d thought he was down, but just needed a final push. “Then did you just really want to see me in my swimsuit?” I was teasing, just a little. Saku smiled. “Maybe. It was a very delicious visual buffet, so thank you for the meal.” “Right, right?” That’s right, that’s right, that’s right! I knew he was just joking, but I was thrilled anyway. It wasn’t the compliment on my bikini, although that did give me a rush of happiness. It was realizing that Saku, who always makes his own choices and takes action—he was rubbing off on me, a little. He’d come because I invited him. Saku continued talking. “If I was the only one who didn’t participate, and everyone just sent me photos, I would’ve regretted it for sure. Spending time with everyone was a blast.” I couldn’t imagine him saying something like this last summer. At that time, he was always clenching his teeth in obvious pain, but he never said anything to me. In just the last four months, Saku had really changed a lot. We had the old Saku back, the Saku he’d been before he quit baseball, maybe. But that wasn’t the whole story. I felt that, as he became a second-year student, as the seasons progressed, the glass that had solidified around his legs had begun to crack little by little. Saku had broken down my glass wall in one hit, but I’m sure the one surrounding Saku was much thicker. Right after we became friends, I wondered why he always acted so casually mean. I wondered why he drew a clear line between himself and Kazuki, Kaito, and me. How could I reach out and touch him, if he was so far away? How could my voice reach him, if he was so far away? To be honest, I still don’t understand Saku’s complex feelings, but what was clear was that he didn’t want to just be seen as a regular nice guy. Well, it’s true that I was caught up in the illusion initially myself. —Right. Just one glance closer, and it all becomes clear. That’s why, even without the vice president incident, I’m sure I would have fallen for Saku. Because ever since… The next day, the day after that, and the day after that… With Ucchi… With Kentacchi, Yuzuki, Nishino probably, and Haru… No matter what was going on, through it all, Saku was my hero. Maybe there was some skewed timing—too soon or too late—but I couldn’t imagine any future that didn’t involve me falling for him. “Yuuko?” I realized he was peering at me. Oh gosh, I hope I didn’t have a dumb look on my face. Or a fawning look? I didn’t want that to be the last memory. It would be the worst if Saku, as a grown adult, looked back on this and thought, “Wow, Yuuko had her mouth hanging open”, or “Yuuko was smirking.” I wanted to leave one last, final, adorable impression. “I’m sorry. I was just thinking about the past.” “Well, I get it. The end of a trip is always kind of sentimental.” That’s true. The end is sad. I don’t want to say good-bye. I spoke in an innocent, bright kind of voice. “So is that it? Don’t you have anything else to say to me?” “I told you thank you.” “Oh, but it’s still not enough! Praise me more!” “I’m always praising you.” “You’re usually being mean to me!” And really, that makes me the happiest. Saku scratched his head in confusion, then… “Yuuko, you always show me scenes I never could have imagined.” Then he gave me my favorite smile. …Oh. It’s true. I wish we could stay like this forever. I wish we could stay like this forever. But I wasn’t the one who made Saku laugh like that. It wasn’t me who broke the glass wall down. No, that’s not all it is… At some point, I’d… No, that’s not the fair way to phrase that. Ever since that day, I’d always…always… I was going to have to face them. —The feelings of the other person. And my own feelings, too.