Chapter 3

“…Excuse me? Is that any way to react? It’s like you’re saying, ‘Well, there’s no way to deny it, so get over it.’” “That is what I’m saying. Look, Saku. You’re hot, and girls love you, so you’re bound to have haters. It’s all jealousy.” Honestly, I agreed with Yua. It was pointless even trying to figure out who could be writing all the online burns about me. It could be Jock Blocker, the meathead I tangled with just before spring break started. Or it could be some rando with a grudge against me, someone who wasn’t even on my radar at all. Just think about any famous creative…an actor, a musician, a writer, what have you. The more popularity they get, the more haters they accumulate at the same time. There are plenty of jerks out there who want to drag down successful people and expose whatever weak points they might have. In fact, when your proportion of fans to haters is about fifty-fifty, that’s when you know you’re doing all right. The thing that really scares me is not being gossiped about at all. “But it’s crazy! I mean, here’s a super-hot, stylish guy, gifted at sports, with top-notch grades, excellent at getting along with everyone, is super nice and is also an excellent leader—with, I might add, a real penchant for wit and dirty jokes. I’m great. Why do they hate me?” “If you really can’t guess, I’d be happy to fill you in. But I have a feeling you already know.” As we passed through the now-familiar school gates, we picked up our copies of the class lists being handed out. Starting in second year, the classes would be separated into sciences and humanities, and the class list would show the breakdown. Personally, I prefer the system where they post it up on the bulletin board—it’s more exciting somehow—but this way it’s easier to see what class everyone else is in, so I guess it makes more logical sense. As she scanned the class list, Yua’s face lit up. “Yes! We’re in the same class again. Here’s to another year together!” “It’s not just us. The class list is basically the exact same as last year.” “Yeah, but…you could at least act a little more excited to be in the same class with me again!” I chuckled, shrugging off Yua’s sulking. Then I took a closer look at the list. Along with me and Yua, the main players from the popular group of last year’s Class Five were all reunited, having opted for the humanities course. Our school has a policy of trying to keep kids together as much as possible, even when they need to separate us for the course selection. This helps mitigate the stress that comes with an abrupt change of peers, and it helps us focus on our studies instead of trying to make new friend groups all the time. You get to stick with your buddies, and the social hierarchies remain in place. It’s a common policy with high-level, college-admission-oriented schools like ours. So it really didn’t come as too much of a surprise to me. That said, outside of our original group, there were plenty of unknowns from other classes mixed in, too. I heard from an upperclassman once that the social sciences and humanities groups both always end up with a mishmash of students like this. Even though they try to avoid switching us around as much as possible, because each class of students chooses their own courses, there’s a limit to what they can do on the faculty side. So some kids end up without many of their old friends where they’re placed, or no friends at all. They try to fix that to an extent by lumping them all together—with, of course, the troublemakers and the nuisance kids. Then they try to plug up the gaps by shoving in small groups of amenable popular kids who are good at getting along with everyone. I mean, the faculty doesn’t actually admit to this, of course. But everyone talks about how the second- and third-years definitely have both “popular classes” and “loner classes.” “And we’re still Class Five, too. Aw, I was just thinking about how those ‘Saku Chitose from Class Five’ online takedowns would soon be outdated. But for at least another year, they’ll stay current.” “Yeah. I’m sure those anons will be thrilled they don’t have to go back and edit all their messages to say ‘Saku Chitose from Class Two’ or whatever.” “Hey, whose side are you on anyway?” “’Sup? Mornin’.” I lifted a casual hand in greeting as I opened the door to Year Two, Class Five’s classroom, my voice bouncy and perky. I had no idea who I might find already in the classroom, but I had carefully tailored my greeting to fit all eventualities. It was very much a greeting meant for a brand-new class of unknown variables. “Hey, Saku! Morning! Aaah, hey, Ucchi!” A greeting came floating my way, cutting through the excited classroom chatter and hustle and bustle, as clear and sharp as a bird singing in the morning light. The owner of the voice was Yuuko Hiiragi, and while her greeting was rambunctious and unrefined, she had the looks of an elegant young lady, the very definition of the class princess. Her hairstyle must have taken three times as long to arrange as Yua’s had. Her curves were in all the right places; she had that “ideal” figure that has all the guys doing a double take. You could put her in one of those all-girl pop ensembles with, like, twenty members, and she’d still stand out as one of the best. Everyone fawned and fussed over Yuuko, and she took it all in stride. She almost expected it. Kinda like how a newborn baby never thinks to question whether it’s adorable or not. And she was so natural about it that everyone gave her a free pass. Sometimes, perfect girls do exist—and not just as the main female character in novels and manga. She transcended petty concepts like being stuck-up or arrogant and was accepted by everyone. Incidentally, the kids at school had all pretty much decided among themselves that Yuuko and I were endgame. Or at least, that she was “first-wife” material for me. “We’ve got Yuuko, Kazuki, Kaito… Wow, the key players are all here.” “Hey, Yuuko. Hey, you two.” Yua and I both returned Yuuko’s greeting and walked over to where Yuuko and the others were standing in a circle, while they naturally moved aside to make space for us. “Yay! We’re all together again!” Yuuko raised both hands to solicit a double high five from me. I slapped her hands with mine, then interlaced my fingers with hers. “Are you glad, too, Saku?” “Of course. If you and I had been separated, Yuuko, I’d have to drag myself to school every day in despair.” Yuuko always treated me like the funny guy friend. She thought nothing of getting touchy-feely with me like this. In fact, she had probably greeted Kazuki and Kaito the exact same way only moments before. Yuuko never even thought about things like being disliked or thought of as annoying by other people. She was very affectionate with everyone. And she didn’t just act that way with us popular guys. She acted like that with everyone, even the nerdy ones. And of course, they would get the wrong idea, actually think they had a chance with her, and then try to ask her out. She’d end up with this total ??? look on her face. It had happened way too many times to even count. Her character being what it was, she was always walking a fine line between being loved or being despised by everyone. But she never crossed that line. Yuuko was naturally sweet and kind, and she treated everyone the same, be they popular or dorky, boy or girl. People loved that about her. That’s why she was at the top of the hierarchy, one of the most popular girls in school. I was just contemplating the popularity of Yuuko when Yua turned a scornful eye on me. “This guy here was really enjoying himself on the walk to school, scoping out all the new first-year girls.” Yuuko turned to look at me, too, quickly linking arms with Yua and furrowing her brow. “Ew, Saku, what a creeper! When you have such pretty girls like us in your grade already!” “…You’re just jealous you didn’t have a hot guy like me from the year above you waiting to appraise your looks when it was you making that first innocent, heart-pounding walk to high school. Am I right, Yua?” The adorable twosome giggled and rolled their eyes at me. We were having a good time—until all of a sudden, someone karate chopped me in the midsection. Ouch. “Sorry, dude. I thought you were due a punch or two.” The one responsible was Kaito Asano, who was grinning teasingly at me. He was already the star player of the basketball team and had barely even started second year yet. He was your typical jovial jock type with a great physique and superior sports skills. And he was taller than me. I could only hope that male-pattern baldness was in his future. “You gotta give it to him for the timing, though. He had to cut you off; that flirty playboy shtick was wearing thin on your charming concubines.” Kazuki Mizushino grinned like a shark. How was he the star player of the soccer team already, when he was barely in second year? He always acted so suave, but the kid knew what he was doing. And he was arguably better-looking than me. I could only hope an explosive diarrhea attack during class lurked in his future. “Saku, you seem somewhat annoyed.” …Hmph. And he was always pointing out the elephant in the room. “It’s cool. I was just thinking about how you two are a couple of annoying bugs trying to get between me and my harem. Three’s company, but five’s a crowd, you know. And I’d cut out that ‘concubine’ business real quick unless you want to read your name on the school gossip website sometime soon.” Everyone snorted as I snarked at Kazuki, keeping one eye on Yua. Grinning, Kaito threw his arm around my shoulder. “Aw, Saku. The message boards getcha again?” “Screw you. Why do you look so happy about it?” “Why wouldn’t I? A rogue like you who leaves girls weeping all over school… You need to suffer the consequences, or the cosmos will fall out of alignment!” “If I’m up there with my real name, this jerk ought to be, too. That’s where the universe is off-balance.” But Kazuki merely smirked. “Hate to break it to you, but I never leave girls crying. I simply love ’em and leave ’em wanting more.” “Oh, spare us.” Now that I was done verbally sparring with Kaito and Kazuki, I cleared my throat to indicate a change of subject. “Anyway, it looks like Team Chitose is back in business.” “I prefer Yuuko Hiiragi’s Angels.” “Nah, Kaito’s Dynamite Bombers.” “Kazu’s Creative Agency.” “Yua 5.” “Welp, time to disband! Too many creative differences!” We all shared a fist bump to seal the deal. “Morning!” “Mornin’!” The classroom door kept sliding open as we stood talking and goofing off together, and kids kept coming in all bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. Everyone seemed nervous, walking into a new classroom and an unfamiliar social environment. “Hey, it’s Chitose. You grow your hair out over spring break? I can cut it for you.” “No, thanks. Knowing you, you’ll cut a major artery by mistake.” Haru Aomi was the girl who had offered me the haircut. She was in Class Three last year. She had long limbs and was the shooting guard on the girls’ basketball team. She wasn’t really all that tall, but she had a model-like physique—not exactly skinny, just sort of lean and small-boned. She didn’t fuss over her hair like Yua and Yuuko did; instead, she kept it in a short ponytail so it didn’t get in the way. She didn’t have the assets of the other two girls, but there was something about her bobbing ponytail and exposed neck that tended to catch your eye. Kaito inserted himself into our conversation then. “Hey! You should greet me first. We’re both on basketball teams.” “Oh, I’ve seen enough of your face. There’s nothing exciting about it. Right, Nanase?” “I’m sick of Kaito, too. But I’m glad Chitose and Mizushino are here. A little eye candy for once!” Yuzuki Nanase popped her head over Haru’s shoulder. She had glossy shoulder-length hair that made me think of a shampoo commercial. She was in Class Three last year, too, the point guard on the girls’ basketball team. She and Haru were BFFs, probably known throughout the whole prefecture. But mostly for their plays on the basketball court. If you did a poll of who was the most popular girl in our year, Nanase’s name would definitely pop up alongside Yuuko’s. If Yuuko was a pop-idol type who combined cuteness with status, then Nanase was more like an actress. She could go from playing a cute role to an absolute beauty, from friendly to aloof, from ballsy to a shrinking violet you ended up wanting to protect. Personally, though, I had the feeling she was more calculated than Yuuko. Yuuko was oblivious to her own charms, but Nanase radiated an aura of perfection that seemed perfectly constructed. I had the feeling she was always thinking about how she was perceived at school. I could tell, because so was I. Both girls had great figures, but where Yuuko was marshmallow-soft in all the right places, Nanase was nice and firm. …I wasn’t talking about their chests. Get your mind out of the gutter. Nanase was grinning now, walking up to me. “Well, now that we’ve got the hot guys all here…I guess it’s time to feast our eyes! Show us those pecs, boys!” Kazuki and I immediately leaped into theatrics, covering our chests with our schoolbags and squealing. “Nooo! Don’t objectify my body!” “Women are only after one thing!” Then Haru got in on the action. “Aw, come on, don’t be prudes, boys. Just lie back and count the stains on the ceiling tiles. It’ll be over before you know it.” “Er, what year were you girls born in, again? Why are you acting like creepy, mustache-stroking advertising executives from the fifties?”