Chapter 120

I, Yuzuki Nanase, placed a phone call to Chitose Monday night. I wanted to make some adjustments to the cheerleading squad’s full practice starting tomorrow. It took him a little longer than usual to answer. “’Sup?” “…Uh-huh… Yeah?” With just that one comment, I realized something was wrong. His reactions were slower than usual, and his voice was sort of dull and low. “What happened?” Chitose was silent for a moment, then spoke sort of distractedly. “…No, sorry, it’s nothing.” “Just spit it out.” There was another short silence. Then he muttered, sounding somewhat hesitant: “I…did something thoughtless.” “That’s ’cause you never think.” Finally, we were communicating. I found myself sort of sighing and chuckling at the same time. Chitose continued, his voice miserable. “I made Asuka mad.” “You what?” I paused. I wasn’t expecting that. From the way Chitose was acting, it was clear she wasn’t just sulking over something. It was hard to imagine calm and intelligent Nishino getting genuinely angry, though. “Chitose, just making sure, but you started with a nice kiss, didn’t you? Nothing too handsy?” “What? Don’t be gross.” Phew. Chitose finally seemed to relax. “But thanks, Nanase. That helped take my mind off things a little.” “Someone once told me that serious matters should be reduced to silly jokes.” “Oh yeah? I’ll have to thank that someone later.” “So,” I prompted, “what happened?” “It’s dumb, but…” Chitose slowly told me what happened after school today. I could understand both sides of the situation. Yeah—this was tough. Both Kureha and Chitose had good intentions toward Asuka, but they just weren’t all seeing eye to eye. After hearing everything, I spoke. “Just my opinion, but there was no one to blame. It was just a big misunderstanding.” I could understand how Nishino felt, getting mad without meaning to. Just like when I saw Chitose and Kureha dancing together. I guess Asuka felt like her spot had been stolen. Even if Kureha was just an innocent younger girl… In fact, I think that was the whole reason why. Asuka must have had a moment of panic. She was worried that Kureha’s innocence would be enough to destroy her bond with Chitose. Worried that our state of temporary peace would be destroyed by some outsider taking the initiative and ignoring the unspoken rules. “Hah.” I sighed. I was almost annoyed with myself for finding all this so relatable. “I’m sure she’s regretting it now that she’s calmed down.” “I’m the one with the regrets…” It was true; Kureha had grown very fond of Chitose. But she liked the rest of us, too. And she seemed especially nervous when talking to Mizushino. Maybe she was used to guys being flirty with her. From my perspective, Kureha’s attitude toward Chitose, with some minor exceptions, seemed to be completely appropriate for a younger girl and an older guy in her school. “Anyway.” I sighed again. There was no way this guy, my mirror, would be oblivious to the implications. Even when I asked him to be my fake boyfriend, he had to look at it from all the angles first. He would’ve drawn a firm line in the sand if Kureha started making lovey-dovey eyes at him. But that hadn’t happened. So Chitose wasn’t able to be too curt with Kureha. “I’m sure Nishino will just apologize tomorrow. Then you and Kureha apologize, too, and that’ll be that. You shouldn’t take it all so seriously.” “I was thinking of calling or texting her and apologizing, but…” “No, that’ll only pressure her. Better not.” If it were me, I’d be even more upset if it seemed like I’d made someone apologize when I was the one in the wrong. “…I see.” “Uh-huh.” We then quickly went over our plans for the following day. Finally, Chitose wrapped things up, sounding quite a bit lighter. “Thanks a lot, Nanase.” “Good night, Chitose.” It was all right. Our September wasn’t over yet. The next day after school, all the after-school clubs were canceled so that we could prepare for the school festival. The entire Blue Team cheer squad, including me, Saku Chitose, were now gathered in Gym 2. This was the first time all the first-, second-, and third-year students were getting together since that initial meeting. I was a little anxious about seeing Asuka, but it turned out that Nanase was right. As soon as she entered the gym, she came right over to me and Kureha. “I’m so sorry about yesterday! …I really don’t know what got into me.” She bowed her head low. Kureha and I quickly apologized, too, all three of us in a circle with our heads bowed. Anyway, I’m just glad it wasn’t awkward. I breathed a sigh of relief to see Asuka chatting happily with Kureha. Then us second-years, plus Asuka and Kureha, demonstrated the choreography for the others. Once the pair dance section was finished, the first- and third-years erupted in excitement. Everyone was making comments and clapping. “So cool!” “The seniors are so good at dancing!” “Kureha’s so lucky, being paired with Chitose!” “It looks hard to memorize, but if we can pull it off, we’ll win for sure!” I looked at Nanase, and we both grinned. Everyone seemed on board. After that, we explained the key points of the choreography step by step, then split into several teams for individual practice. It was easy with Kureha, Asuka, and us second-years there to guide the others. I realized all over again how great the training camp was. If we kept up the pace, everyone should be ready in time for the big day. We continued practicing until just before sunset, then decided to end the day early. As everyone started to file out of the gym, Haru came over and said, “Hey, Chitose, why don’t we stop by Higashi Park?” “Okay, but why?” “Let’s play catch. It’s been a while.” “Right. Today we’ve been doing nonstop instruction, I guess.” Without club practice, Haru seemed a little antsy for some physical movement. Haru looked at her partner. “You’re coming, too, right, Yuzuki? Then we can grab katsudon on the way home.” Nanase readily agreed. “Sounds good.” Then Haru turned to the junior girl who’d been listening intently to our conversation from nearby. “If you’re not too tired, Kureha, why don’t you come with?” Kureha’s face brightened instantly. “Really?” Haru puffed out her chest. “Hee-hee. We’ll show you the secret technique to playing catch.” “You’re still a rookie, too, you know.” But despite my jab at Haru, I was grinning. After that unpleasantness with Asuka, I’d been a little anxious. But the others really did seem to have taken Kureha under their wing. I, Haru Aomi, think the current state of everyone’s relationships is A-OK. My partner, my junior, and the you who I adore. The four of us rode our bicycles side by side along the road at dusk. Just like Yuzuki has her own important place, and Nishino has hers, I have the past summer… The one we arrived at together. Although the season has passed, the heat remains in my heart. And even though Chitose’s baseball career is over for now, I still want to invite him to play catch every once in a while. Just to make sure. Like…this is where I belong. Or at least, I’m the only one who can connect with you in this way. Not long after, we arrived at Higashi Park, and that’s when I turned to my partner, having just remembered something. “By the way, Nana, Mai’s coming to practice the day after tomorrow.” Yuzuki frowned suspiciously. “What for?” “…Not sure. For fun?” “She thinks she can just come and go to our home court anytime she wants, hmm?” I laughed at this, pulling on my glove. Despite being so stiff and serious at first, she’s really become much softer and kinder lately. It’s just like him and me, I thought, and I couldn’t help but grin. Yuzuki and Kureha sat down on a nearby bench. Always the same, I thought as I looked at my partner. She’d had plenty of chances, but Yuzuki had never once tried to join in our game of catch. She’s got the athletic prowess, of course, and though we’re in the same sports club, she’s way more dexterous and adaptable than I am. I know she’d pick it up quickly once she gave it a try. Obviously, it’s got to be boring just watching. And who would miss the chance to dip a toe into Chitose’s world this way? But, I thought, gripping the ball, Yuzuki isn’t the type to go crossing the line. I guess she thought of playing catch as “my” territory. And even though Yuzuki often visited Saku’s place, I would stay away. We were each maintaining our own positions. Defending our own zones. That’s how we all manage to maintain such a good balance between romance and friendship. “Here we go!” I wound up and tossed the ball. My form had a ways to go, but my control had really improved. Phwump. The ball landed neatly in Chitose’s glove. “Nice.” He threw the ball back. His pitches have gotten a little faster recently. That makes me happy, ’cause it’s like he’s saying I can handle it. Excited, I stuck out my glove, but I guess I was a bit overeager. The ball bounced off my thumb. Kureha ran to grab the ball and brought it back to me. “Here, Haru.” “Thanks, Kureha.” Watching us, Chitose said: “You’re still trying to anticipate the ball too much. You need to let it come to you.” “All right.” Whoosh. Phwump. Zwoosh. Thump. What started as a game of catch meant to cheer on Chitose had ended up being something I cherished, too. On the first day of school, I was annoyed at hearing about Yuzuki’s secret. But actually, it was cool. You, Yuuko, Ucchi, nor Nishino—none of you can do this. It’s a secret between him and me. When he’s in a good mood, he gets cocky and throws curveballs and high fly balls. When he’s in a bad mood, the ball seems to be a little more erratic. Whenever he looks at me, I feel it in the chest, like a direct hit. This is something none of the other girls know about…something that belongs only to me. I think right now, that alone is enough to satisfy me. After we played catch for a while, I suddenly remembered the presence of our junior. Uh-oh, I accidentally left both Yuzuki and Kureha sitting alone. I yelled over to them. “Kureha!” “Coming!” Kureha came running eagerly over, and I peeled off my glove. “Wanna give it a try?” “Can I?!!!” I wouldn’t encourage her if she was a normal, unsporty kinda girl… That could get dangerous. But watching her at the training camp, I realized she’s athletic and adaptable, too, like Yuzuki. Chitose would go easy on her, too, so there was no problem. Kureha put on the glove excitedly. She rolled the firm baseball around in it curiously. Thinking about myself when I was younger, I smiled. “Okay, Kureha. Most girls instinctively try to chuck the ball like it’s the shot put or something. But actually, you should kinda twist your body like this, and when you throw, you pull back with your other hand, see?” Kureha lifted her head, eager to try. “Got it!” Chitose, standing a ways off, snorted. “That’s an explanation I’ve heard somewhere before.” The three of us laughed, and then Kureha got into position. Wow, she’s really prepared… She took a big swing like a pro pitcher, raised one leg high, spread out her whole body like a fan, bent her arm back like she was drawing a bow, then released the ball like she was loosing an arrow. Swooosh. Thunk. Chitose’s glove produced a clean, pleasant sound. “Huh…?” I was shocked by the scene I’d just witnessed. Seems Chitose felt the same way. “Huh…?” He was frozen in place, staring at the ball in his glove. Though I wouldn’t go as far as to say Kureha’s form or throw were on par with those of an actual professional baseball player…it certainly reminded me of something you might see during a pro-level warm-up. Thud. Thud, thud, thud, thud. Suddenly, my heart started pounding hard in my chest. Chitose rolled the ball around his glove as he spoke. “Kureha, you’ve got some experience, it seems?” Kureha flapped her hands no. “Not at all. My older brother played Little League baseball, so I’d often play catch with him or act as the batting pitcher, see.” …What the heck? That’s cheating. “Huh? That was impressive, considering you haven’t even received any proper training.” Don’t praise her. Please. Not like that. “My brother liked to teach. And I like sports. I guess I learned fast.” Right… She picked up the dance steps faster than me, too… Chitose looked excited. “So is this your first time actually playing with a hardball?” “Yeees,” Kureha answered hesitantly. “It’s harder than I thought it would be, and a little scary. It’s amazing how easily you handle the hardball, Haru!” I don’t need your pity. I felt like an idiot, giving her advice like I was sooo superior to her. Chitose gave her a lopsided smile. “Well, let’s start with something light.” He threw the ball back to Kureha. Zwoosh. You said light! That’s not light. Thump. Thump. Thud. He’s throwing the ball just as hard as he was throwing it to me earlier… Phwump. Kureha caught the ball easily. “It’s fine! I can handle this much, no probs.” This much…? I thought, gnashing my teeth. Kureha returned the ball easily. The ball smacked into his glove, and Chitose grinned impishly. “Wanna go harder?” “Yeah! Gimme what you got!” Chitose threw a harder and faster ball than before, and… Zwoosh. Phwump. …Kureha caught it gracefully, then threw it back smoothly. Shwoosh. Phwack. Chitose grinned. “Looks like you can handle a little harder.” “I can handle whatever you got!” This… This is… Shwoop. Phwack. Zoom. Crack. Chitose looked overjoyed… “How ’bout this?” “Bring it!” Whoosh. Thwap. “You’ve got good control, Kureha.” “I won’t let you get bored, Senpai.” Our secret thing? There’s nothing secret or sacred here… Kureha gently caught Chitose’s ball and threw it back with a smooth motion. Swoosh. Perhaps Kureha got too cocky, but her throw was way off target. I smirked nastily—and I actually saw myself, from the outside, like an observer. Chitose dashed to the side, like he was running to catch the girl herself from falling, if she’d been falling. He grabbed the ball with the tips of his glove and whirled. He went down on his knees, but he still threw it back. This time, he was the one with a wild throw, sending Kureha dashing after it. An elegant but passionate pitched battle just for the two of them. The skirt of her uniform fluttered up gently, revealing Kureha’s smooth, youthful thighs. Suddenly, horribly, I was aware of how womanly she looked. Her soft-looking lips; plump, jiggling breasts; a slim waist; a perky, high butt; and slender legs. The sight of her, facing off against Chitose under the setting sun, made me want to cry. That’s cheating. I suddenly realized I was clenching my fists so hard, my nails were eating into my palms. Don’t take my special place on top of everything else… Chitose grinned like an excited Little Leaguer. “I think you could actually pull off batter-pitcher practice, too.” No… Don’t show that smile to another girl. “I’ll bat and pitch with you anytime, Senpai!” If you want to bat and pitch…then do it with me. “Great! Then I won’t have to deal with Atomu anymore.” Hey! I’m right here! “Okay, I’ll step up, then!” I thought I was the only girl you practiced baseball with! The summer we’d discovered together was fading away…and becoming fall. Just like the trees bloom little by little and then their leaves fall. “Our” season was receding. Don’t go. Don’t leave me behind. Look, I’m right here. “…Give…” Before I realized what I was doing, I found myself marching over to Kureha. “Give it back!!!” I snatched the glove from her beautiful, delicate hands. ““…?”” I realized they were both staring at me, holding their breath, and I snapped out of whatever had taken hold of me. What? Just now, did I…? Kureha looked at me with frightened eyes. It must have hurt her, the way I yanked the glove off so forcefully. She was rubbing her left wrist very subtly, low by her side. Her concern for my feelings crystallized into a sharp sensation of regret that made me want to run away… Or maybe just throw up on the ground right then and there. …Thud, thud, thud, thud. Kureha lowered her gaze sadly and spoke in a weak voice that made her sound like a different person. “Um, Haru…? Was I being too rough with your glove or something?” No, that’s not it. You haven’t done anything wrong. So please don’t make that face. Thump, thump, THUMP. My heart was pounding, and my chest felt tight. I needed to apologize fast…and hopefully turn it into a joke. The more I thought about it, though, the more I couldn’t find the words. I’m sure he was trying to dispel the bad vibes… …That’s why he went out of his way to sound amused. “What’s the problem, Haru? Jealous ’cause Kureha was too good?” I get what you’re doing. I know what you’re trying to do for me. I should get on board and laugh and pout, the usual routine. But I’m sorry… I can’t. “Shut up!!!” Because it’s not a joke if it’s true. I hugged the glove to my chest and hightailed it out of there. “Haru!” “Haru!” Sorry, Chitose. Sorry, Kureha. Once I’m myself again, I’ll apologize… Later… I caught a glimpse of Yuzuki’s face in my peripheral vision… I could tell she wanted to say something. I know. You don’t need to tell me off. I know I suck. I grabbed my sports bag, shoved my glove inside, and straddled my GIOS. I pushed down on the pedals, trying to shake off my blurred vision.