“If you shoot a lot of rats, Moffle will take a great souvenir photo with you! Do your best, everyone!”
Ahh, he thought. He’d grasped the gist of it: They’d be firing the laser pointers at something like those animatronics from before, competing for points. Unlike the previous attractions, this seemed like it might have some game-like appeal.
“Okay! Start the battle!”
The double doors in the back of the room opened automatically. It was, apparently, an attraction where the visitors had to proceed on foot. It seemed like a recipe for trouble if there was a big crowd there, he thought, but there was no need for concern in that regard—after all, even on a Sunday, the place was totally deserted.
“Go on,” Isuzu urged him, and Seiya proceeded in.
He found himself in a passage designed to look like a kitchen: there was a fancy wash station, an oven, grill, etc. Animatronic rats popped out randomly here and there.
He fired.
He turned the water gun-shaped laser pointer towards a rat and shot.
He hit. He missed. He missed. He missed. He hit. “Faster than I expected...” Even more rats appeared, one after another.
He missed. He missed. He missed. He missed. He finally hit...
“They’re too fast,” Seiya criticized.
“We’re coming to the storage room,” Isuzu said in reply. “Be on your guard.”
“Huh?” They moved from the kitchen into the storage room, where the naughty rats started coming even faster.
He missed. He missed. He missed. He missed. He missed.
“Hold on a minute! This is a little too hard, don’t you think?!”
“You’re wasting a lot of ammo.”
“What the hell did you expe—”
“You waste a lot of breath, too.”
It wasn’t all animatronics; some of the rats were holograms as well. They’d appear, feint left or right, then disappear without even giving you time to take aim. It would be impossible for an ordinary human’s eyes to follow them.
They ended up coming to the final room without racking up many points at all.
Then came another announcement: “Too bad! You didn’t kill very many! Great try, though!”
“W-Were we killing them?” Seiya interjected. “I thought we were ‘teaching them a lesson’!”
Why the hell was the premise so violent? Wouldn’t hearing the word “kill” in a family-friendly atmosphere be kind of a shock to most people?
Despite Seiya’s objections, the announcement continued. “Moffle is very grateful to you! Go get your souvenir photo taken with him in the next room!” The door in the back opened for them.
Since just standing around wouldn’t get them anywhere, he and Isuzu walked towards it in grim silence. They dropped their guns into the return box, then proceeded down the hallway that would take them to the last room.
“You’ll be able to have your souvenir photo taken with Moffle now,” Isuzu told him.
“You mean that ‘Fairy of Sweets’ thing?”
“Yes,” she replied. “He’s AmaBri’s headliner mascot.”
“...I’m not really interested in getting a picture with some guy in a costume,” Seiya admitted.
“Just meet him, would you? It’ll be fun,” she said, in a tone utterly bereft of such.
With an air of resignation, Seiya followed after Isuzu.
The corridor led them into a small photo studio. The right half of the room was set up like a bakery, stuffed with prop donuts and cakes, and there was an old-fashioned mechanical register on the counter.
I guess it’s the backdrop for the photo with this Moffle person, he thought, but the mascot in question wasn’t anywhere to be seen. There wasn’t even a clerk present. The studio was completely uninhabited.
“What’s going on here?” Seiya wondered.
“We get guests here so rarely...” Isuzu apologized. “He’s probably resting in the back.”
“......”
“Press the service bell next to the register. Then he’ll come.”
Seiya did as he was told. The bell let out a pleasant ‘ding.’ He waited for a while.
At last, from behind the counter, the mascot— Did not arrive. He tapped the bell again, this time with a little more force. Still, nobody came.
“...I’m thinking he’s not in,” Seiya concluded. “Let’s just go.”
“No. Let’s wait a little longer.”
“Why should I? I’m under no obligation to wait here in this half-assed attraction for some minor mascot to grace me with his presence. I mean—” He was interrupted by a clack.
The iron employees-only door—hidden behind the counter—opened, and the mascot in question plodded into view.
“Moffu.” He was about 2.5 heads tall, his silhouette soft and huggable.
Is he supposed to be a mouse? Seiya wondered. His appearance was undeniably rodentine, but his plump, rotund body was a bit more akin to that of a wombat or a guinea pig. Definitely a strange creature, either way.
He had big button eyes and plush, stubby arms, and he was wearing a white chef’s costume and hat. All fairly by-the-book signifiers of cuteness, but he had to give them credit for getting that much right.
“...That’s the park’s headliner mascot, Moffle, the Fairy of Sweets,” said Isuzu, by way of introduction. “Height: 144 centimeters. Weight: Top secret. Top running speed: 35 km per hour. Special skills: Making cakes and playing soccer. Favorite food: Anything sweet, especially donuts. In addition to his current patisserie gear, he also has tuxedo gear for formal outings.”
“What’s with the ‘new mobile suit’-style explanation?” Seiya asked.
Moffle stepped up to Seiya and Isuzu, his feet squeaking as he went.
“Moffu.”
“I want a souvenir photo with him,” Isuzu told the rodent. “Okay?”
“......” Moffle gave a firm nod in response to Isuzu’s question. He whipped a smartphone out from under his apron, manipulated it adroitly with his squishy paw, then held the phone up to Seiya and Isuzu and snapped the picture. He then showed them the image on the smartphone, as if to say, “There, I took it.”
“Wait, wait... Why did you take a picture of us?!” Seiya demanded.
“Moffu...” Moffle’s brows knitted—a pretty impressive bit of suit design.
“Don’t glare at me! We’re your customers, you know!”
“Calm down, Kanie-kun,” Isuzu urged him.
“Shut up! I am calm!”
But Seiya was sensing something from this mascot creature that was hard to put into words: something like destiny. Not the good kind of destiny, of course. It felt more like a sense of deep foreboding—like meeting your mortal enemy, or a bad penny that would keep turning up.
“W... Well anyway,” Seiya spluttered, “I’ve had enough of this. Why would I want a souvenir photo with this minor-league, worthless, wise-ass mascot anyway? Let’s just move on already.”
But as Seiya started heading toward the exit— “Moffu!” Suddenly, Moffle kicked him in the butt.
“Wh-What are you doing?!” Seiya shouted as he picked himself up and whipped back around.
But Moffle’s response was far from contrite—he actually tilted his head toward the floor and made a motion like spitting.
Definitely a wise-ass attitude.
“The things you said about him made him angry,” Isuzu told him.
“Whatever I said about him, what the hell kind of mascot kicks a customer?! Look, now he’s baiting me like he’s a boxer!”
Moffle was performing a little light footwork, hissing through his teeth while jabbing rhythmically into the air.
“Why, you little...!”
So some jerk in a costume wants to fight me, does he? Fine! I don’t want to get stuck with the bill for damaging the suit, but I can’t just let this stand. I can’t leave here until I lay this guy out, just once. Seiya was about to step forward to do just that when—
“Moffu!” Moffle came running. He closed the gap between them in an instant. His paw tore through the air and hit Seiya right in the solar plexus. Ker-MOFF!
“Hnngh!” Seiya’s breath caught in his throat.
It was hard. It was heavy. It was one hell of a fist—rather, a paw. No simple mascot in a costume could dish a blow like this. Then again, no matter how rotten the theme park might be, maybe it meant something to be a headliner mascot...
Seiya fell to his knees, doubled over.
Looking down his nose at him, Moffle beckoned him with his paw.
“Damn you...”
But Seiya wasn’t finished yet. His dignity couldn’t bear the thought of not getting a single clean hit in against the bizarre cuddly mouse-thing. His weak point... what’s the mouse’s weak point?
“That’s enough.” Isuzu’s musket slipped in between them. She must have pulled it out again at some point. “Any more of this could get one of you killed. I won’t let a place of hopes and dreams like the House of Sweets be stained with blood. I need you both to stop it, right now.”
“When exactly did this place contain hopes and dreams, again?” Seiya scorned.
“Moffu...”
“If you insist on continuing,” warned Isuzu, “you’ll both have to deal with me.” Another musket appeared from underneath her skirt. With one in each hand, now, she thrust them mercilessly at Seiya and Moffle both.