The next day, I returned to the Armelia manor. Even though I hadn’t been gone for that long, it felt oddly nostalgic. The imposing white building was bright and beautiful before me.
“Merry!” The moment I walked inside, my beloved fiancé opened his arms wide and embraced me. I clung onto him, not caring who was watching us.
“Louis!” He wrapped his arms around me, hugging me tight. We stayed like that for some time. His warmth and smell were the same as I remembered, and it filled me with relief. I wasn’t sure how long we embraced there like that, but eventually, he let go of me and guided me down the hallway.
He led me to the parlor. We sat on the sofa, pressed up close to each other.
“You came back to me.”
“Yes… Thank you, Louis. It’s all because of you. Because those supplies came so quickly, we were able to wait and ambush the enemy. That’s the only reason we were able to stop them.”
“I’m glad I was able to help.”
I leaned against his chest, listening to his heartbeat. “And…I’m sorry. I couldn’t protect someone who was precious to you.” I clung onto his shirt.
“I heard… Yes, I heard. And I just want you to know that it’s not your fault. That was what Berne chose.”
“Berne?” I looked up at him, not recognizing that name. Oh, wait…
“His real name. Only Father, Alf, and I knew it, but now…”
His real name was Berne… I finally learned it, and I vowed I would never forget it. Instead, I etched his name onto my heart.
“Louis… We can’t make his funeral public, can we?”
“That’s right. Only Father, Alf, and I will attend. Since he was a spy, it can’t be public.”
“Will he be buried with the Armelia family?”
“He will. He probably should be buried with the soldiers, but since it won’t be public, we decided that is where he should be laid to rest, especially when we consider our other spies.”
Berne’s upbringing, and the other spies like him, was shrouded in secrecy. There might be more opportunities for women in espionage as well, such as for Enarene. Since women were technically forbidden from joining the army, it wouldn’t be possible to bury them along with the soldiers. As a result, Berne, and all others like him in the future, would be buried with the Armelia family from now on. And Anna’s name would be engraved next to his.
“Please, let me come to the funeral. I want to talk about Berne and Anna, to remember them.”
“All right.”
We made plans to attend their services together.
✦ ✦ ✦
Time continued to pass, and everything started getting back to normal, but things had definitely changed. Nana, who had been recuperating back in the march, ultimately passed away. I was in Rimmel fighting at the time, so I wasn’t able to be there for her. I felt so guilty and torn up about it that I took time off school to go back to the march and visit her grave.
So many tragic things happened during that time, and I had taken so much time off school as a result that it was a wonder I even passed my tests that term. But after I did pass them, I immediately made plans to go to Madame Caluis’s and celebrated with my guardsmen who fought with me that day, just as we said we would. Louis came with me.
“Everyone! As promised, we’ve got the place all to ourselves tonight, so you can be as wild as you want to be!” I said in the most cheerful voice I could muster.
“Yeah! Let’s drink!!!” They all followed suit. But to be honest, most of our time there was spent reminiscing about the comrades we’d lost.
“This is how they wanted to remember them,” I whispered to Louis. “They’re pretending to be cheerful while they share memories, so their comrades can rest in peace.”
“I see…”
Although we were whispering back and forth, we were sitting very closely to each other.
The ladies teased us because of it.
“I can’t believe you brought a man here, Mer!”
“She’s grown so beautiful… If you make Mer cry, you’ll pay for it!”
Louis looked flustered, which was quite unusual for him. He didn’t know quite how to respond to their lighthearted jabs.
“I can’t believe he’s taking her away from us…” one of the girls said.
“Hey, I think he’s taking her away from us!” A guard lamented.
As everyone bantered back and forth, it began to feel like old times again.
“The girls love me like a little sister, that’s all. I’m sure they know there’s no one manlier than all of you!”
“Should you really be saying that in front of your future husband?” Madame flashed me a mischievous grin.
“I’m sorry, but my future husband is definitely the manliest!” I shot back. “However, I couldn’t ask for better comrades. You’re the only ones I could fight with on the battlefield completely confident that you have my back.”
Everyone smiled warmly at me, and we all returned to our reminiscing.