Chapter 5

“Nice arm band there, Shijou.” “Oh, I’m so sorry for doubting you. Anyone who compliments me for the armband is never a bad person, eh-heh-heh.” Tamaki immediately stopped crying and smiled. “Tamaki will forgive anyone for anything if you compliment her armband. She has a strong persecution complex, but she’s reliable.” “Okay. She seems kind of weird, but she’s a good person. Oh, my name’s Ryouta.” “I am a worthless being with a life like old dirt, but it is nice to meet you, Ryouta.” Tamaki smiled kindly and gently. “I think calling yourself dirt might be too much, but… Nice to meet you, too.” Tamaki’s smile was mature and calm, as you might expect from an upperclassman. There was a magnanimity about her that suggested she’d listen to any of your worries. After all’s said and done, Shiren still is pretty cute, so I guess Sacred Blooded girls are generally high quality, Ryouta thought silently. “Tamaki is really important. She’s like the mediator in the class, and she’s on the library committee. Since we just established ourselves as a country, the collection of books hasn’t been organized yet, so she works on the weekends, too.” “Whoa, that’s really important work!” Since she was coming to school flaunting her armband, she must really love books. “It’s not much. It’s best for utter trash such as myself to do the jobs no one else wants to do,” Tamaki said, her expression warm. “You’re a good person, Shijou, but I think you’re being a little too modest…” People didn’t usually call themselves lowly dirt and utter trash. “But you do love books, don’t you?” “Books are heavy and cumbersome and a waste of paper resources, but such nonsense is perfect for me. And heavier, thicker books can become weapons in times of need.” “I can’t interpret anything you’ve said as a love for books. Is it okay for you to be on the library committee?!” “Tamaki’s just a little negative. Don’t worry about it. Oh, and the official meaning of her name is ‘mourning of the serpent demon.’” “Oh, stop, don’t say that; that’s embarrassing!” Tamaki hid her face with her bag. “Your official meaning was ‘something something purgatory,’ wasn’t it, Shiren? Do all the Sacred Blooded have to have these RPG-sounding names…?” “Well, I have some committee work I must get to. I’ll see you around.” Like a nobleman’s daughter, Tamaki gracefully made off for the school building. “I guess we should get going, too.” Shiren tugged at the chain attached to the collar. “You don’t have to pull. I’m getting kind of nervous.” To Ryouta, this was like transferring to a new school. In short, his high school debut. “But I didn’t think I’d be debuting in the girl’s uniform and a collar…” He vowed to make Shiren buy a male uniform for him. “This is my minion (candidate)!” The second they entered the classroom, Shiren was yelling, and his debut was an instant failure. “Well? I know most of you still don’t have minions. I knew I would never be able to hide my noble blood. Aren’t I magnificent? Aren’t I amazing? You may applaud me as much as you want.” “I knew Shiren was cringy, but now she’s being cringy even in class…” The students in the classroom started loudly discussing Shiren and Ryouta. “Wow, she found a minion already. Sounds like he’s still only a candidate, though.” “That was fast. People like that sure grow up quick, don’t they?” Also— “Wait, Fuyukura lives alone, right? That means…” “Stop, don’t go there. I think there’s only about a two percent chance that they have an innocent relationship.” And— “Why is he dressed in the girls’ uniform?” “I mean, people are into all sorts of stuff, right? Bet he’s a drag queen.” “But he’s not wearing makeup.” “Yeah, if he’s gonna go for it, he should go for it.” Uniform talk aside, they were talking about him in a way that honestly creeped him out. It looked as if high school here had something else in common with Japan—putting teenaged boys and girls under the same roof was a recipe for conflict. The silver lining to this whole tragedy was that none of them came to talk to Shiren directly. But Ryouta wasn’t just an object of observation—he was scoping out the class himself. “The Sacred Blooded aren’t really that much different from regular humans,” he murmured softly. The students in the class just looked like typical high school kids. Since Shiren had Internet, he’d looked up the Sacred Blooded online the night before and found real articles on the whole uproar about their independence back in April. Man, this was big. It was really bad that I didn’t know anything about it… Those articles mentioned all kinds of information, such as how the Empire and Japan were holding negotiations in secret and how they were still uncertain about border lines and all that. Not even Japan could stay quiet if an independent country was established within its borders. “Okay, everyone, take your seats.” A balding middle-aged teacher entered the room. “Fuyukura’s minion, why don’t you introduce yourself now? And go buy yourself a boys’ uniform at the school store during the break. You can pay for it tomorrow.” “Oh good, I’m glad the teacher’s understanding…” He went up to the front, accompanied by Shiren as she was still holding the chain. She probably wanted to show him off. “Hello, I’m Ryouta Asagiri, I’m sevente— Guh! Bluh!” The chain suddenly pulled him downward. “If you make the same mistake again, I’m pulling you another six inches!” “Did I say something bad?!” “You are still unaware of your position as a minion, so I’ll introduce you for you. This is my minion, Ryouta Fuyukura. He’s in the same year of school as us, so he’s transferred here. He’s happy to meet you all.” “Huh? We have the same last name, which makes us sound like we’re marrie— Gruuuugh! Buh!” She pulled on the chain three times harder than she did before. “Don’t be such an embarrassment! Minions take the same last name as their master!” “I never heard about that, so I didn’t know… You coulda killed me there…” And so, class started. First period, math. The material was practically the same as what was being taught at Ryouta’s school, and the textbook was nearly identical to a Japanese one. And Shiren, by the way, was asleep. Second period, English. The material in this class was almost the same as well, but the example sentences were a little odd. “Now, why don’t we have Ryouta Fuyukura, our transfer student, read this one?” The female teacher (probably in her early- to midthirties) nominated Ryouta, so he read the passage. Except his pronunciation made it sound as if he was just speaking Japanese—it was terrible. “Hiroshi: Hello. Jim: Hello. I am from America. Hiroshi: I am from Sacred Blood. Jim (groveling for some reason): Oh, you are great. You are the champion. You are the creative master of space— Hey, what is he talking about?! This is ridiculous? ‘The creative master of space’?!” “Be quiet and continue reading, Fuyukura.” “Your country’s emperor is a very, very cute girl. She is more beautiful than Cleopatra, Yang Yuhuan, Ono no Komachi… Hey, the Emperor sounds pretty full of herself.” “Speaking ill of the Emperor is a jailable offense!” Since this was an empire, their emperor would be a real head of state, but she sounded awfully strange. Besides the issues with the English passages, it was an unexpectedly normal class. Despite being vampires, they didn’t drink one another’s blood at all. In fact, that would only subjugate them to one another, so drinking the blood of other Sacred Blooded was prohibited. Shiren, by the way, was asleep. Third period, history. The mood of this class was a little different from the others. “All right, let’s get started. Today we’re learning about Sacred Blood cultural history,” the teacher said, placing a traditional kamishibai picture-story show on the podium. The opening image read A Simple Sacred Blood History. “Okay, here we go.” The first picture was of villagers smiling happily in the style of a fairy tale. “Long, long ago, the Sacred Blooded lived peacefully, drinking blood throughout the world. It was a wonderful age where they all lived great lives IRL, as it were. But…” The second picture showed a creature that looked like a red ogre whacking people with metal rods. “But the foolish humans got pissed at the Sacred Blooded for their happy normie lives and started oppressing them. They said they couldn’t be friends with us because we drank blood, so they persecuted us. And so they say that all the Sacred Blooded in Europe were eradicated, and they slowly vanished from all other regions throughout the world. In the tenth century, the humans secretly created a global extermination organization called the Virginal Father to start destroying the Sacred Blooded across borders. And our ancestors still survived by living their lives, pretending to be foolish humans.” Ryouta could hear some of the people in the class saying, “Humans really are the worst.” They probably were living as humans just half a year ago, though, so this wasn’t the time for him to be making any witty rebuttals. Additionally, they sometimes used the word human and all related words to include both Sacred Blooded and the literal human species—everyone besides themselves. Ryouta felt uneasy on the inside. He’d done a quick search online last night and found that there was already plenty of publicly available information on the Sacred Blood Empire, and the oppression by humans was apparently true. Humans had worked to erase the Sacred Blooded from the history books over a thousand years ago. He even read that their previous emperor had also been killed. But why were they talking about this in class now? Any of the Sacred Blooded should already know this, and if they were going to learn it at school, this should have been one of the first lessons. Was this just antihuman propaganda that they were teaching throughout the year? If it was, then this could pose a serious problem for the human Ryouta. “However…” The third picture was a beautiful young woman. Beside it was The Emperor. “On April sixth of this year—the sixth day in the Month of New Life, that is—our emperor overcame her grief at the assassination of her father, the previous emperor, and then she gathered all the Sacred Blooded from throughout Japan here in the old city of Akinomiya, caused a revolution, and created the country of the Sacred Blood Empire. Let us work hard so that our country may live on in posterity. Oh, and the name of the illustrator will be on the test.” “That’s what you’re putting on the test?!” Ryouta couldn’t help but speak up. “You’re always supposed to know the illustrator’s name in cultural history class.” “That’s your point?! Oh, hey, Shiren, you’re up.” Shiren was finally awake. “You must’ve been worried when you heard about class, but there’s no need.” Shiren patted Ryouta’s shoulder in an overfamiliar way. “Those are the images of artist Bluh D. Dee. The facial expressions are a dead giveaway. Bluh Dee developed a new genre called kamishibai fanart. I’ll help you review once we get home.” “Still not important enough to learn about in school! And that’s not what I’m worried about, okay?!” “The biggest strength of kamishibai fanart is that it’s created on the assumption that it will be exhibited. Many people have seen Bluh Dee’s art, and so he’s apparently gained quite a lot of work. You could call his plan a success.” “Could you stop saying bloody like it’s a name?” “And don’t worry. The Sacred Blooded aren’t going around saying silly things like Kill the humans. No one will gain anything from that, and it’s not realistically possible, either. Her Eminence was originally planning on letting bygones be bygones.” From what Ryouta had seen in the English textbook, the Emperor had sounded like an odd duck, but at least she was understanding. “There’s a passage about the Emperor on the previous page, by the way.” Ryouta flipped through the pages of the history textbook. “Lemme see—‘After the Emperor’s first name comes her second name, Elisabeta, followed by her third name, Alexandra, followed by her names Floretina Sylvia Rosanna. In short, her full official name is her first name plus Elisabeta Alexandra Florentina Sylvia Rosanna plus last name—’ Yeah, your emperor’s a weird one.” “You’ll be in big trouble if you speak ill of the Emperor, so keep your mouth shut.” “‘Additionally, the Emperor’s full official name is so venerable that it is not included. Her face is so venerable that it is also not included. It is unfortunate, considering her beauty—’ I’m pretty sure the Emperor’s the unfortunate one here.” “Stop! Don’t speak of Her Eminence in contempt! A minion’s sins are his master’s sins, too!” He did feel bad for that, so he decided to stop with the insults. Fourth period, music. First, they had to sing the national anthem at the beginning of the class. “Sacred Blood Empire National Anthem” Flames bellow, blood bursts, oh, let everything burn to the ground The sword glints, the spear pierces, the country of light, the Emperor of the Sacred Blood Empire Again, they were singing praises to the Emperor, but the tune was easy to sing, almost like a pop song. “When the anthem was first released, people were talking about how it lifted their spirits, and how it even felt like the opening to a story. Her Eminence has such wonderful taste.” “I’m slowly becoming immune to your national praise, Shiren, but you’re right about this song being easy to sing.” “Right? It’s also very popular with children.” “The chorus is super-easy.” “There were talks of the Emperor creating a promo video where she transforms.” “Wait… Popular with kids? Transforming…” The tune did sound like something he might have heard somewhere before…on Sunday mornings. “Hey, aren’t the melody for the chorus and the words just a straight-up copy of the theme song from Fish Pier Squad Seafoosiers? It’s practically a parody!” The original lyrics went something like Taking the bait, harpoon pierces, oh, let’s fish it all up. Sea urchin melts, crab innards roar, the men of the sea, Fish Pier Squad Seafoosiers. “And the textbook tells me the Emperor wrote both the music and the lyrics! No way that’s legal! Come on!” But Shiren remained silent. She was obviously listening; she was just ignoring him. “Hey, say something. Wha…?” He finally realized all his classmates were giving him worried looks. “Ryouta, you’ll get arrested if the police hear you say that… That’s not something you should ever talk about… Suspicion that it’s plagiarized is an open secret…” “Does the Emperor have no pride…?” “I keep telling you to stop dissing the Emperor! It’s too risky!” The next song, “Ah, Our Emperor of the Sacred Blood Empire,” was another cover of a song from a very famous anime. *Due to various reasons, the lyrics have been omitted. “This is…another cover of an anime song.” “Mm. It’s a cover of an anime theme song about a robot from the future and a clumsy boy and their friends—the brawny son of a shopkeeper, a boy with spiky hair who’s the son of a company president, and a girl who takes three baths a day and takes violin lessons but is horrible at it and loves sweet potatoes but hides it and has a pet canary and is related to an art critic—and their adventures together.” “Why did you describe the last one in so much detail? And what about the rights for it?” “Her Majesty said it’s not a problem since we don’t have diplomatic relations with Japan.” “Is she just a hack?!” And so the very exciting (to Ryouta the human) series of morning classes came to an end. Then came the much-awaited (especially to Shiren) lunchtime. Ryouta went to the cafeteria, pulled along by his collar. He’d had no idea he’d be going to school today, so he hadn’t made any lunch. “By the way, Shiren, do you have a job or anything?” Business was booming in the cafeteria, so the two took their places at the end of the line. It wouldn’t be their turn for a while. “Ryouta, a student’s job is to concentrate on her studies. We are not permitted to take part-time jobs at maid cafés or anything of the sort.” “No, I didn’t mean it like that. And why did you say maid cafés as your example?” “There are currently thirty within the Empire.” That didn’t seem sustainable considering the population ratio; ten or so would probably go out of business before long. “Basically, I’m asking if you have enough money to just use the cafeteria without really thinking about it.” He’d been wondering, but it wasn’t an easy question to ask. “I get an annual pension of two and a half million sacred yen. It’s plenty for me, so long as I don’t make any lavish purchases.” “Pension? Oh yeah, your parents— Nah, never mind.” He had a bad feeling about suddenly broaching the topic of her family problems, so he stopped. “This is a one-thousand-sacred-yen note, in case you were interested.” Shiren handed Ryouta a bill. “Considering what I’ve seen so far, I’m guessing I’m going to see the Emperor’s face drawn on it? Wait, you’re not supposed to show her face, right? Then what’ll—?” Immediately next to Hideyo Noguchi’s face on the regular old thousand-yen note, it said “SACRED YEN.” In marker. By hand. “This is clearly a Japanese thousand-yen note.” “No, it’s sacred yen. The workers at the Imperial Mint write ‘SACRED YEN’ on each and every note. Right now, the Empire’s economy is running well without any extreme deflation or inflation due to the hard work of the people. As we are an independent country, we are obviously circulating a currency that’s different from Japan’s.” Shiren had her chest puffed out. She sounded proud. Not that there’s much chest for her to puff out, Ryouta thought. “Also, counterfeiting can land you a prison sentence of up to ten years or a donation of four hundred milliliters.” “A blood donation is punishment for the Sacred Blooded, huh…?” “That’s right. The Sacred Blooded are special because we drink blood. There is nothing more insulting than having your blood taken. If you see anyone in Japan giving donation trucks nasty looks, there’s a ninety percent chance they’re Sacred Blooded.” “You guys sure are a pain. Oh, hey, it’s our turn.” As they chatted, they finally reached the front of the line. Ryouta decided to order a reasonably priced udon of 250 sacred yen, since he had no money of his own. Shiren ordered the most expensive thing on the menu, the Sacred Blood lunch, for 520 sacred yen. He was a little irritated that she chose something so much more expensive than he did. Still, it wasn’t his money. “Hey, there’s two seats open over there.” She pointed to a dimly lit table far in the back corner. “Why’d you pick the corner out of all these tables? Isn’t that just going to make us feel—?” Just as he started asking his question, Ryouta noticed something. There were a lot of gazes focused on him. Most of the students were looking at him oddly, and a portion of the jealous looks came from the boys. Sure, it was probably stressful seeing an unfamiliar student next to his apparent girlfriend (?). Of course people would get pissed if someone so brazen showed up out of the blue; that much was inevitable. He could handle it, especially since it wasn’t like anyone was going to suddenly punch him. But when he heard what the girls were saying when they passed by, he realized he actually couldn’t. “That boy looks delish.” Th-they’re definitely talking about me like I’m a snack… And so Ryouta sat at the corner table. “All right, time to eat. Hey, this is better than I thought.” The red miso–style soup and the firm udon noodles went well together, almost too well for a school cafeteria. It was way better than what they had at his old school. “Exactly. The Emperor’s goal is to create a country satisfied with food, clothing, and shelter. It might just be the school cafeteria, but she wants more than to keep us from starving. She wants to fulfill the four pillars: Fast! Cheap! Delicious! And you can collect points! Otherwise, it can’t operate as a business.” “The more I hear about her, the less great the Emperor seems.” “See, look, every twenty points you get a discou— Oh, I was so busy talking with you I forgot to show them my point card…” Shiren’s face had gone pale. A card with seven collected points on it fell onto the table. “I forgot because I was talking to you. I should’ve been able to get two points today… This is all your fault…” “Hey, come on! Don’t blame your own mistakes on my existence!” “Ryouta, you’re in charge of my cards from now on. I’m going to Freshmart Warakia after school, so make sure you show the membership card. Members get twenty percent off on some products.” “The Sacred Blooded don’t have much of a culture, do they? But still, this udon is really good. It’s a little spicy, but I think I’ll finish the broth.” You could put anything into a rich seafood-based broth, and it would be good. “Wait, but this dark-reddish soup isn’t…blood, is it?” The idea frightened Ryouta, so he checked with Shiren just in case. He’d already had more than half of it, though. “Oh, this mincemeat katsu is so crispy! This is the royal straight flush of flavors!” “You don’t need to talk like you’re on TV. Listen, this isn’t human blood, is it?” “……Hey, you ever wonder who really masterminded the Honno-ji Incident and took down Nobunaga Oda?” She was clearly avoiding the topic. “I think I’m gonna go to the bathroom…” “Oh, I was joking. It’s not blood; it’s not. It’s just regular red-miso soup! Blood is a particularly expensive ingredient, so we don’t use it with school lunch!” “Well, that’s a relief. Then I guess we’re fi— Wait, so you do use it in expensive meals?!” Ryouta decided he wouldn’t be visiting any expensive restaurants. Shiren had already polished off her food. She ate quite a lot for being so small, as always. “Hmm. Your homemade meals are nice, Ryouta, but a simple cafeteria lunch is also delightful.” “Yeah, the student cafeteria here is good. So what were our classes in the afternoon?” Shiren seemed somewhat uncomfortable at that. “What is it? You look like a guy who accidentally got on the women-only car on a train.” “It’s because you keep saying weird things… Idiot…” Twenty minutes later, Ryouta realized what she meant by that. The next class was health and physical education. “It’s just class, so I don’t have to pay attention…but it’s still embarrassing…” Health and physical education meant learning about how the body was built, and Ryouta had never really gotten used to the topic in his own school, either. He was not thrilled about this class. And on top of that… “Okay, we’re starting on this page today. Can you see, Ryouta?” Shiren slid her textbook over to Ryouta across their connected desks. He’d received textbooks for Japanese, math, English, and all the basic subjects, but he ended up sharing a text with Shiren for less frequent classes, like health and PE. Sharing this textbook with a girl almost felt like some kind of erotic humiliation. This hour was apparently also special to the Sacred Blooded, so the boys in particular were behaving unnaturally. “Okay, class. This is very important, so no need to feel embarrassed,” the female teacher said, but that only made him more aware of the whole situation. The title on the page in question read “Licking the Blood of the One You Love.” This was way more than he’d expected… In the book, there was a photo of a man and a woman licking off the blood on each other’s hands and feet. “We Sacred Blooded greatly increase our own physical ability by licking the blood of the ones we love. We still don’t understand the exact mechanics of it yet, but research confirms a secretion of a hormone related to motor capacity. However, considering how strong the effects are, licking a loved one’s blood is counted as doping in marathons and other sports. As such, the practice is forbidden in those contexts.” Everything the teacher said went in one ear and straight out the other. “Your face is bright red, Ryouta. I thought you were Japanese…,” Shiren pointed out from beside him. “Hey, this is a crazy fetish for Japanese people, too… And you’re blushing just as much as I am.” Her face was so flushed, it almost looked as if she had a fever. “I was afraid of people calling me Shiren the Bloodied Blossom.” “Can you not start acting like an edgelord out of the blue?” He was 100 percent sure no one was going to call her that. “Hey, do the Sacred Blooded think about licking the blood of the people they like?” He could only ask the question because he had no romantic feelings for her. “Y-yeah. Both men and women think about it. Blood usually comes from open wounds. By putting a lot of your own saliva into the wound, it’s just the same as making someone your minion…” That was only if he were Sacred Blooded, though. Biting Ouka, then licking her blood…then she’d do what he wanted… Crap, he was getting excited! The thought of sucking Ouka’s blood was too much of a turn-on! As he dreamed of the impossible, Ryouta felt a bit of blood dripping from his nose. Just as Shiren said during lunch, she took Ryouta to the grocery store once class was over. He wanted Tamaki to show him around the library as one of the committee members, but it would be risky to ignore Shiren’s orders. They arrived about five minutes after leaving school. Like before, a new sign that read FRESHMART WARAKIA hung over what was originally a different grocery store. “This is the closest supermarket to the Fuyukura household. There’s a nice selection of produce here. It is called a Freshmart, after all. Shocked, aren’t you?!” “I don’t think there’s anything here for the Fuyukura household to brag about!” The shop was a regular grocery store, with the fruit and vegetable sections right at the entrance. It appeared many of the customers were shopping in pairs, be they couples or otherwise. “There are masters here shopping with their minions. I guess it’s a common sight, though…” Shiren’s face was slightly red, and she was starting to shrink in on herself. She wasn’t tugging as hard on the chain, either. “These minions look less like their master’s underlings, and m-more like their lovers…” Suddenly thrust in front of a swarm of couples, Ryouta started feeling a little weird. No way… The two of us probably look the same… “Oh, those two over there are definitely crossing the line. The grocery store isn’t an amusement park! Get a room!” Embarrassed, Shiren tried to complain, but her voice betrayed her. “Do you think these couples suck each other’s blood like we saw in the health textbook…?” It still hadn’t been that long since class, so it was extra-fresh in their minds. But wait, human couples probably did something similar, even high schoolers. He’d never really thought about it before. “L-listen here, R-Ryouta. A master and minion must know their places as master and servant. This debauchery is honestly depraved. Don’t you ever make this mistake… I-I’ll never forgive you if you put your arm around me or whatever…” “Obviously. I’d never do something like that…” Shiren’s expression was something halfway between relief and disappointment as she briefly took a deep breath— No, that’s just what it looked like to him. No way she would look disappointed! You’re getting distracted! Ryouta silently gave himself a pep talk. Concentrate on shopping. Become one with the shopping. Shiren also appeared to have shaken off the previous mood. “I assign you as the head of cooking in our household, Ryouta. You will create superior dishes suited to my tastes!” “Stop moving the goalposts like that. But I guess you might put blood in the food if I left it to you.” She handed him a shopping basket, and Ryouta began placing vegetables in it. It irritated him, being ordered around like this, but he didn’t mind being in charge of cooking. “These cabbages are pretty cheap. I could put together twice-cooked pork with some mushrooms. Do you have oyster sauce at home?” “Ooh! You don’t sound like a high schooler! I bet you were actually the star of your home ec club, weren’t you?” Shiren’s eyes glittered. She probably wasn’t eating very well, generally. “I wasn’t in the home ec club or anything, but growing up, I didn’t really have a choice but to cook for myself.” “Growing up…? Did you not have a mother…?” Shiren’s expression clouded over. “Nah, it’s nothing that tragic. She’s alive and well.” “Then, like, was she your stepmother and never made you any food because she was bullying you?” “Why do you want to destroy my home life so bad?! I mean, you already have, in a way! And my mom’s food is really good, just so you know. A Chinese person would eat it and yell Haochi!” “Then it doesn’t sound like you had older brothers or sisters who you weren’t actually related to and didn’t let you eat because they hated you.” “I’m telling you, it was nothing like that! It was my sister! She had a major obsession with me and brought me cake every day even though I never asked for it! I’d eat the cream puffs she got for me without a care in the world, until later when I found out they were from a real famous shop that she lined up for before it even opened. The more I learned about what she brought me, the harder it was to eat them!” “Okay, then I can’t think of anything else. Why?” “My mom puts things in the food that shouldn’t be there.” “Like trash?” “I’m telling you, quit with the bullying. There’s always a good chance the food’s drugged. Like with aphrodisiacs and stuff.” Shiren looked confused. He really didn’t want to explain, but he had no choice but to do it. “I told you before—human girls get way too into me… And my own birth mother isn’t an exception. I think the first time was in sixth grade—I suddenly got really sleepy while I was eating, and I fell unconscious and ended up locked in a confine—I mean, my room…” “You were just going to say confinement room, weren’t you?! What kind of house did you live in?!” “The way I grew up, the only food I could safely eat was stuff I made myself… And I wanted it to be good, so I practiced.” His hapless fate had given him a skill that proved to be useful in this situation—life sure had a funny way of working things out. “Right, where are your parents, Shiren? They didn’t seem like they were at home.” The topic of parents was a tricky subject, but she’d asked him first, so he was free to ask her without any guilt. “Oh, Ryouta…” Shiren’s expression changed. Had he crossed a line? What if they were deceased?! “S-sorry. I didn’t mean to offend you…” “You move too fast, Ryouta… It hasn’t even been twenty-four hours since we met. And we’re only master and minion, at most…” “I’m really sorry for hurting your fee— Huh?” Shiren’s cheeks were as red as a prized apple, exactly how she’d been when they saw the couples upon entering the store. Probably even redder. “Don’t tell me you want to meet my parents already…? Do you really want to marry me that badly…? I am proud to say I’m higher than number two on the cute rankings at school, but… Let me just reiterate that I’m nothing more than your master. Think of it as a love across impassable social boundaries and just give up! B-but it’s not like I hate you or anything, okay?!” “Time out, time out! You misunderstood me! This is a mistake! And you don’t have to brag about being the cutest girl in school in such a roundabout way!” “Even minions can legally become nobility… But if that happens, it’s not like I won’t—” “Okay, enough! We’re shopping! First, we’ve got our cabbage here.” Akinomiya had always produced cabbages, so they were cheap. Many of their own vegetables were locally grown. He quickly placed one into the basket. “Put some tomatoes in next.” “Oh, the shiitake mushrooms are cheap. I can use this tomorrow.” “And tomatoes.” “Peppers are great, too. Maybe I could make some pepper steak.” “And you need tomatoes.” “We could use bananas for breakfast, so I’ll get a bunch of those.” “We could also use tomatoes for breakfast.” “How many tomatoes are you putting in?! I look away for two seconds, and my basket is full of tomatoes!” Seven tomatoes had popped into existence among the other vegetables. “Tomatoes are a staple of the Sacred Blood diet. Tomato farmer Kenichi Takashima says, ‘A tomato a day keeps the doctor away’!” “Your source is a stakeholder in the industry, so that’s not very convincing! And wait, are you telling me the Sacred Blooded are okay with tomatoes in place of blood? They’re just the same color!” “H-how rude of you! We don’t place that much importance on superficial similarities! It’s all about the flavor!” “Do you like red or green peppers better?” “Red peppers.” “You do care more about looks! Peppers might be different colors, but they taste the same!” “What a despicable thing for a cook to say. Unlike green peppers, red ones are slightly sweeter.” “Okay, Master Chef, then why don’t you cook it instead? We’re moving on!” And so they finished their business in the produce section. Beyond it was the section for fish and meat. “Fish, hmm. We’ll be having more meat for a little while, so we’ll skip that. Hey, what’s that over there?” Next to the meat section was a row of clear bags filled with red. “I haven’t seen an ingredient like this before. What do we have—? Blech.” When Ryouta approached and saw what the product was called, he couldn’t even finish the sentence. HUMAN BLOOD TYPE A: 200 ML—683 SACRED YEN YOUNG HUMAN BLOOD TYPE B: 200 ML—1286 SACRED YEN HUMAN BLOOD TYPE O: 200 ML—1488 SACRED YEN HUMAN BLOOD TYPE A (TOKYO UNIVERSITY GRADUATE, YOUNG BUSINESSMAN, ¥60 MIL SALARY, PHOTO INCLUDED): 200 ML—2471 SACRED YEN “I thought so…” “Let me dispel any misgivings you might have—the Sacred Blooded don’t attack unsuspecting humans or anything like that. We send out fake blood donation trucks and collect blood that way. The trucks are terrifying, but on the flip side, it’s a way for us to secure our precious blood. Plus, blood is an indulgence if anything. We don’t have it as often as Japanese people have pork or beef, so there’s no need for you to worry.” “How much blood given out of goodwill has disappeared into people’s food…?” Ryouta turned his gaze to the snack section to distract himself from his crawling skin and saw some tasty-looking potato chips, although they were from a brand he’d never heard of. Now with human blood for a limited time!! it declared in large letters on the front, like a normal bag would advertise 20 percent more volume. “I can’t put blood into my food…” “Fine. I’ll compromise with that.” The sun had already long set by the time they finished shopping. “Ooh, a sunset red as fresh blood!” “Can you use a metaphor that sounds more like something a high school girl would say? Is this normal for the Sacred Blooded?” “Well, what do you think, Ryouta? Have you gotten a sense of what it’s like here in the Great and Grand Empire of Sacred Blood?” “I learned that Sacred Blooded are pretty much the same as us.” After a full day, that was the conclusion Ryouta had come to. Unsurprising, since the country had been made by people who had been living in the guise of humans (and probably over half as Japanese humans, specifically). “I honestly thought Akinomiya would have had more of a demonic makeover, so I’m relieved.” Akinomiya historically had many valuable cultural assets, the most notable of which was the Akinomiya Shrine that had given the city its name. The main and worship halls had been built in the Muromachi period and were current national treasures. “We only ever act in moderation, of course. People who buy too many ‘grown-up’ things are treated as children; our culture values temperance.” “By the way, aren’t we a little too far from the road home?” They weren’t going the opposite direction, but they were rather off track. “Mm. To end our day, I was thinking of showing you one of the cores of Sacred Blooded culture that makes us who we are.” “What do you mean?” “Well, you seem to have the opinion that the Sacred Blooded and the Japanese are the same. There are many ways to characterize a people, Ryouta. Language, traditional practices, and what else?” “Uh, I guess the gods they believe in, so…religion?” “Yes, that’s right. The Sacred Blooded have a faith called the Holy Church of the Sacred Blood. And the greatest cathedral with the greatest authority is just beyond here.” “Huh, I didn’t know something like that was around here… Wait.” He had a sinking feeling. Now that he thought back on it, both the school and grocery store had been repurposed to something similar to the original establishments. And the road they were on was the approach to Akinomiya Shrine. A large torii gate towered right above Ryouta’s head. “See, Ryouta, this is the First Cathedral! Be sure to make plenty of offerings!” No, it couldn’t be… The cypress-thatched, gabled roof of the magnificent, three-bay-wide main hall now had a gothic-style spire, and a new garish pink annex was sitting next to the temple itself. A sign that read FIRST CATHEDRAL sat square in the middle of the torii. “Ahhhhh! The shrine! An officially designated national treasure!! Did it get a demonic makeover?!” “It’s a beautiful sight, making a building so old into something new. Inside is the archbishop, Alfoncina the Thirteenth, who holds the greatest authority in our country’s religious world. A mere minion like you typically wouldn’t be able to meet her, but we are acquainted, so I’ll make an exception to introduce you. You should be glad for your master’s compassion.” Alfoncina XIII—now that was a majestic name. Would she be wearing robes with a big crown on her head like a Roman pope? Would she whisper, Repent!? An image of Alfoncina XIII rose to his mind’s eye. “Why do you know someone so important anyway?” Shiren ignored Ryouta’s simple question, and— Kalang-clang-clang! Kalang-clang-clang! —rang the shrine bell with wild abandon. “That’s odd; I’m ringing the call bell, but she’s not coming.” “Hey, I’m pretty sure that’s not supposed to be a call bell. Are you sure it’s okay you can call her so rudely like that? We’re not gonna be thrown into jail for disrespecting a sacred place, are we?” They were here to see an archbishop, so Ryouta was on edge. It was no big deal if she was rude to her minion, but it would be bad for them if she forgot herself in front of someone with power. “Hmm, she’s not coming out at all. She can’t be away, either. What is the meaning of this?!” Shiren was beginning to get irritated, and she started ringing the bell with even more vigor. “Calm down! “You have your wallet with you, right, Ryouta? Give me a hundred ye…sacred yen.” “You can just call it a hundred yen.” Ryouta did as he was told and pulled out a one-hundred-yen coin. “How do you like this, Archbishop?!” Shiren held the coin high above her head. Ting. She threw it into the donation box. At that moment, the door to the shrine opened. “Thank you for your donation! I am the (eighteen-year-old) archbishop! How may I be of service today?” The woman who emerged was wearing a haphazardly arranged priestess uniform. Instead of a traditionally red hakama covering her legs, hers were all black. “So you only come out when someone puts money in the donation box, Archbishop? You’ve added a whole new meaning to the phrase ‘cash on arrival.’” “Well, we can’t build any more annexes to the cathedral without money, can we? Oh, I don’t believe we’ve met. Hello!” “Oh, I apologize on behalf of this rude idiot, Archbishop Alfoncina the Thirteenth!” Ryouta hurriedly lowered his head and prostrated himself. He grabbed Shiren’s head to pull her down with him. He heard her complaining (“Hey, what are you doing to your master?!”), but even a minion had to obey the higher authority. “Ha-ha-ha, there’s no need to humble yourself like that. Come in, come in. It’s a little untidy, though.” The archbishop seemed unbothered as she went inside the shrine. Ryouta was relieved she didn’t seem to be too aware of the social hierarchy. They entered the shrine and found cushions ready for them to sit on. A woman and an elder wearing black hakama immediately appeared from a side hallway with what Ryouta chose to believe was juice. They placed the cups down, then left. “Those were the archbishop’s minions. Once you reach her status, you get to have more than a dozen minions,” Shiren leaned over to explain. “Hmm, I don’t know if they’re my minions—more like my staff? We need plenty of hands to keep the cathedral running.” Ryouta looked at the archbishop once again. She had an abundance of hair ornaments—probably religious items—and she wore some kind of animal skull around her neck. The skull had an African feel to it, but her clothes were traditional Japanese. The combination was unnerving. But still—she was cute. Her light-pink hair and large greenish eyes brimming with curiosity really reminded him of a girl from a fantasy RPG. And unlike Shiren, she had an alluring maturity about her, despite how they were supposed to be only a year apart. What he wanted to say was that this was the first time around here he’d met an attractive woman who was also mature. There’s no way she’s more beautiful than Ouka… But I guess Shijou was cute, too—the Empire is incredible. Are these their genes? “You’re staring at the archbishop, Ryouta.” Ryouta felt a little awkward when Shiren pointed out the intensity of his gaze. “Ha-ha-ha, boys sure are honest, aren’t they? By the way, Shiren, who is he? He’s not your boyfriend, is he?” “He’s my minion.” “I’m her minion.” For the first time, Shiren and Ryouta were on the same page. He was ashamed calling himself a minion, though. “His name is Ryouta. I found him yesterday. He still has some growing to do, but I will turn him into a minion with fantastic service, who will take care of the sore spots, who will be open twenty-four hours, who will work to be the cheapest of all Sacred Blooded and provide free tech support for a five-year period!” “I’m not a big-box electronic retail store!” But the archbishop wasted no time taking a crack at her. “Your minion, hmm? But he clearly smells like a regular human.” “I’m… I’m still too young, so my blood power wasn’t strong enough yet!” “Hmm. Then are you going to bite this Ryouta every day to make him your minion? How adorable.” The archbishop looked at the two of them with a somewhat sly smile. Ryouta spat out his juice. “Not if I have anything to say about it! It would hurt way too much for her to bite me every day, so no thank you!” “Awww. Then why don’t you bite Shiren as well? That way, you’ll both be even.” It wasn’t just the air around her that was so adult—even the way she talked was mature. Ryouta wanted to crawl into a hole… “I-I’m going for a walk! You teach Ryouta about the church or whatever!” Shiren left, probably because of the awkwardness. She’d even left the chain attached to his collar. If he tried to follow her, it would jingle. “Hey! You’re being irresponsible!” And so, he ended up one-on-one with the archbishop. Ryouta had never really dealt with situations like this very well; in the past, he’d been in a similar position, and someone had made advances on him. Being alone with women had become traumatic for him. “Oh my, it’s just the two of us.” The archbishop was staring hard at him. She must see him as a little brother. Yeah. “Er, uh, yes, you’re right…” “Why did you go to school in the girls’ uniform? Are you into that? Or is Shiren?” “I don’t have my own, so… Wait, why do you know that?!” “Oh, the reason is simple. This might be a little too sexy.” The archbishop suddenly stood, undid her sash, and boldly threw off her priestess clothes. “Whoa! What are you doing?!” Ryouta instinctively turned his gaze downward, but the clothes she’d removed fell into his field of vision. This was too much! “You can look, silly. I’m not wearing what you’re expecting,” she told him, perfectly carefree. It was okay if she was right, but…her clothes were in a heap on the floor… But if she said it was okay, then she shouldn’t mind. Right, okay. He wasn’t at fault here! Ryouta steeled himself and lifted his gaze only to see the archbishop wearing a gym uniform. “Ta-daa! It’s me, Alfoncina, from Year Three, Class Two. I’m an upperclassman at your school.” “Oh, right, eighteen is still high school age, isn’t it? But is the archbishop allowed to be a high schooler? Pardon my disrespect, but I thought it was a job for someone with more experience…” “Why not? I saw someone online say Everyone after elementary school is old before.” “I mean, that opinion is kinda biased, but sure, you could use it… Wait, you’re right; it was online…” He felt as if he’d seen an article online that said something like “Here Comes the Young and Beautiful Archbishop!” “A high school archbishop draws attention, doesn’t it? It’s perfect for advertising, since the Emperor isn’t allowed to show her face. And so, I think we’ll be seeing a lot of each other at school from here on out!” It made more sense when she explained it. It sounded as though it was all carefully planned out. “Well then, little Ryouta, I’ll show you around the cathedral! Follow me!” The archbishop put her priestess clothes back on and smiled brightly. “Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!” As they discussed how Ryouta came to find himself in the Empire, the archbishop burst out laughing. She could hardly believe any of it—both how he was cursed to have women follow him everywhere and how he didn’t know a thing about the Empire. “Wow, it really does take all kinds. Now you’ll have to live here in the Empire despite your ignorance, so be sure to learn about the Holy Church.” The archbishop explained to him as she guided him around the shrine. “At first, the Holy Church of the Sacred Blood was not a well-defined faith, and we didn’t have any organization like this. I think it was only first properly established about five hundred years ago. Those people from long ago believed we needed something to help us retain our sense of self as a people, and that we should have a real religion to accomplish that.” “I see. I’ve only just arrived here, so this is very informative.” Her outspoken nature was a relief to Ryouta, since he was still getting to know her. But damn, she’s hot. This should be illegal… She was called the beautiful young archbishop, and if she ever decided she wanted to be an idol, she had the face for it. She was proportioned well enough to be in pinups, and she had to be at least an E cup. “All right, next we’ll be going into this room. Please watch out for the step there.” The archbishop took Ryouta’s hand and showed him around what used to be the shrine. If they had been in town, it would have been like going on a date with an older student he’d always looked up to. Even Ryouta, who thought he had chosen Ouka, felt a little flustered. “Man, I sure wish someone like you had found me instead of Shiren.” Shiren herself wasn’t around, so he felt free to joke at her expense. “Really now?” The archbishop froze in place in the middle of the hallway. Had he made her mad since he had insulted her friend? “Well, I mean, not that it would ever happen even if I did mean it, so…” “Now that I’ve explained most of the Holy Church of the Sacred Blood to you, let me hear more about you, Ryouta. Who are you? How did you come to the Empire?” She was still smiling, but it was an odd question. “Wait, I thought I just told you about that.” “So you like hiking in your free time, and you didn’t know that Akinomiya had become Empire territory. You left your country and came into the city where you happened upon Shiren, who took you in since you had nowhere to go? Dear me, that won’t do at all.” There was something odd about the way she was acting. “That’s much too suspicious to be a lie.” The archbishop whirled around to face Ryouta, but she wasn’t smiling. “After the Emperor, I’m the second most likely target for assassination. You need to be a little sneakier about it. The Virginal Father sure have been faltering lately, haven’t they?” Her eyes were filled with enough hate to kill a bunny or hamster, or so it looked to him. And yet, her mouth was spreading wide in a grin. “This really is a misunderstanding! I’m not…” “There were quite a few in the past—people who wanted to kill me and take back Japan’s dignity. And it was so obvious that they were clearly just after my body. Doesn’t that make you laugh? I had them killed, of course.” The air around them had turned bloodthirsty, nothing like before. She would kill him at this rate. “You’re making a mistake! I’ll explain at school tomorrow!” Throwing politeness to the wind, Ryouta dashed forward. He needed to get out of this building, and fast! “I don’t think you’ll be able to leave the cathedral unharmed.” He heard her icy voice behind him. “Um, did we come this way? Crap! It’s all redone, so it’s like a maze now!” He wanted to punch himself for thinking yesterday that he could live peacefully in this country, if even just for a brief second. Considering his position, being mistaken for a spy wasn’t out of the question. No matter where he ran, there were minions—the archbishop’s, of course. There was no time for him to admire the cathedral, either. “I feel like I’m getting farther and farther from the exit…” He then found himself in front of a room with a plaque that read ALFONCINA’S ROOM. It was probably a dead end in here, but he had no choice but to go inside. “I can at least lock the door from the inside, right? …Uh.” Ryouta slipped inside and frantically locked the door—and then he fell speechless. The room was buried in dolls. Well, they weren’t so much dolls as figurines of cute girls. Rows and rows of characters with pink and blue hair and glittering eyes. “Why does she have so many figurines…?” “So you saw.” The archbishop entered behind him. She held a key in her hands. Apparently, she’d unlocked it from the outside. “Well? What do you think? The thirty-eight magnificent members of the Alfoncina Krafted Band caught you in their brilliant trap. I call them AKB38.” “Damn, you are plagiarizing like crazy just because we don’t have any diplomatic relations!” “So now that I’ve led you into the most important idol room of the temple, what do you think?” “They’re just figurines… And you’ve really messed up some of them; they’re way more inappropriate now…” He wasn’t sure he could take having this room as his deathbed. “Look there, farther in.” The archbishop was pointing to the bronze statue of a girl. Bat-like wings sprouted from her back. It looked like Dracula flying through the sky—no, something about it seemed more divine, more holy. He was cornered right now, yes, but Ryouta was enthralled by the statue in spite of himself. That was how overwhelmingly beautiful it was. He’d only ever experienced something like this in an art museum before. “That is the Goddess of Blood, the deity of the Holy Church of Sacred Blood. The most important rituals take place before our god here in this room. For example, executions of evildoers.” “Crap! I’ve got better things to do right now!” There were no windows in this room. “Well then, I think my little trick should start taking effect just about now.” Ryouta’s body was suddenly sapped of strength, and he collapsed. “I had a little poison mixed in with your juice. There’s no serious threat to your life, though.” If the situation were any different, the archbishop would’ve been wearing a sultry smile that could’ve made his heart skip a beat. Everything had been part of her plan from the very start. Ryouta hated how he’d underestimated her. “Are you going to kill me now…? But I guess it’s all my own fault. I had no idea the next town over was a totally different country…” “Oh, it’s not your fault.” The archbishop cupped Ryouta’s face with her hands. If we were in a manga, she’d be about to take my neck and snap it in half… There was no way he would get home alive if they thought he was a part of the Virginal Father, the secret society of humans who wanted to kill the Sacred Blooded. And he’d just learned about them in school today. “Oh, what a lovely face you have. Look at the line of your nose and the shape of your eyes.” Now she was toying with his face. He just wanted her to kill him and get it over with. “Your eyebrows are neat, like you take good care of them. Oh, you’re perfect!” If you’re gonna do it, just do it! “And look how cute you are when you’re frightened. Why don’t you try on my priestess clothes? I’m sure you would look great in them!” At least she liked him, apparently. “Uh… What about me being a spy or that you’re going to kill me and stuff…?” “Oh, that hardly matters!” “Yes it does matter!” Of all the things to disregard, that shouldn’t have been one of them! “You haven’t noticed? I’ll be honest—I tricked you.” Tricked…me… What she said registered in Ryouta’s mind right away. “Wait, what do you mean…?” “How about four hundred thousand a month?” That was an oddly precise number. The archbishop slowly leaned closer and closer to Ryouta. “How does four hundred thousand a month to be my minion sound? I might be just a high schooler, but I have quite the salary—so how about it? All you need to do is let me suck your blood…” “Don’t tell me you were treating me like a spy just to lead me in here?” “My, I’m happy we finally have our own country, but that means all the humans are gone, and there’s no way for me to get any fresh blood anymore. Then I thought about how oh-so-lucky I was that Shiren brought in my very type of Japanese boy. I think you’re the only Japanese person in this entire country.” “I’m telling you, I’m Shiren’s minion! Taking someone else’s minion isn’t ethically—” “Legally, you are still just a plain human. And if I’m left with no choice but to bite a spy, then that still counts as self-defense, right? Well, anything untoward I’ll just cover up with my power as archbishop.” He shivered. He felt the same fear as he did when his sister had assaulted him not too long ago. “Oh, are you nervous? Don’t tell me you—” What she whispered in his ear knocked him for a loop. “G-g-girls shouldn’t say stuff like that! It’s crude!” The archbishop smiled pityingly at the flustered boy. “Oh, so you are inexperienced. It seems like I won’t be getting your approval, so I’ll have to use force. I suppose I’ll start with your right arm, then, hmm? First, antidote.” She extended her tongue and licked his arm. Out of context, it was pretty erotic.