Chapter 4

EPISODE 2 LET’S LEARN ABOUT SACRED BLOODED LIFE AND CULTURE! “Oh, long time no see, Ryouta. Although I suppose this is a dream.” Ouka was smiling at Ryouta. If Ouka said he was dreaming, he was. She stood before him, and she looked old enough to be a high school student now. Ryouta had known her only up to fourth grade. “Why are you coming into my dreams, Ouka? What do you want?” Ryouta responded, his gaze trained on his feet. He was still shy around his first crush, even when he was asleep. “W-well, this is your dream, after all, and it’s not going to have any effect on my reality, and it’s not like I know the truth of this dream, so that’s why it’s a very low risk on my part to show you mercy.” That was really roundabout. She then averted her gaze. “What I am trying to say is, you can kiss me if you want.” “Wuh… Wh-wuuuuh?” “Ugh, your flustered reaction isn’t exactly attractive. This is an exception, okay? An exception. This is a dream anyway, and it seems like you’re in serious trouble out in the real world… Come on, do it quickly, or you’ll wake up!” So it was a dream after all. The kanji characters that made up Ouka’s name really did fit her perfectly: a regal flower. She never acted shy like this. But if he could kiss her… “Are you sure it’s okay?” Ryouta slowly approached her. “Don’t make me repeat myself. It might be a dream, but I’m still embarrassed about this!” Ryouta placed both hands on her shoulders. He then gradually leaned forward to press his lips to hers—aaand right when he thought he was in the clear, Ouka bit him. On the neck. “GYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!” When he woke up, he found teeth deep in his neck. But of course, they belonged to Shiren. “What are you doing…? Can you stop biting me for a hot second?” “You’re up. Well, I thought I could make you my minion today…” Now that she mentioned it, he’d fallen unconscious after she bit him yesterday, but nothing particular happened today. He must be building some immunity to it. “You’re the reason I dreamed about—! …Sigh, no, never mind.” He was embarrassed to say he had dreamed about his first crush, so he didn’t. Man, what a waste of a dream that turned out to be… “Hmm? What’s the matter, Ryouta? You look like a high school baseball player who’s had his dreams dashed.” “No, it’s nothing, really…” “Either way, a minion must offer a comfortable wake-up for his master. To have to be woken up is an enormous dereliction of duty. Be ready—for all the days I wake up first, I will take a bite out of you.” “Easy for you to say, but that means you’re threatening my life first thing in the morning!” “It is now time for breakfast, then. Get ready, quickly. Oh yes, you need this, and this.” She clipped on the chain to his collar. “All right then, let’s go to the dining room!” Shiren gripped the chain as she went down the stairs. “This is just plain slavery… I should get out of here soon… Gah! Slow down on the stairs! I’m gonna fall!” The day had only just begun, and Ryouta already found himself sighing. They had last night’s leftovers for breakfast—miso soup and some side dishes. “Yum! You have a talent for cooking, Ryouta. Allow me to praise you!” “More that you’re just really bad at it. I can’t believe you almost put ketchup in the soup.” Ryouta had made most of last night’s dinner. He’d always had a knack for cooking. He was basically freeloading off her, so he had planned to at least do the housework. “Yes, this is delicious! The salt on this fried mackerel is absolutely divine! More rice!” He scooped her some seconds from the rice cooker beside him. As the one who did all the cooking, he found it worth it in the end to have someone genuinely tell him she enjoyed it. “You sure eat a lot, Shiren.” “Only because it’s so good!” “Seriously, aren’t you going to put on some weight if you wolf it down like that?” Shiren’s chopsticks froze in midair, and it became so quiet that Ryouta wondered if he’d suddenly gained the power to stop time. “Ha…ha-ha-ha…” A dry laugh slipped from Shiren’s lips. Her face was smiling, but her eyes were dead cold. Whoops, he’d crossed a line he shouldn’t have. “Oh dear, this will not do, Ryouta. It is the most taboo of taboos to speak of weight gain in front of women. If you said this in front of the Emperor, she would have to resort to violence and punch you in the face. Well, I won’t act so aggressively. I’ll just poke at you in warning.” “Ha-ha… I’m sorry. I won’t talk about getting fat in front of you anymore.” “Then allow me to caution you.” Shiren dug her pointer finger into Ryouta… …’s right eye. “Graaaaaaaaaaagh! That’s my eye, my eye!!” Ryouta writhed, pressing a hand to his face. It was such a strange sight, someone might be inspired to upload a video of it and call it “The True Meaning of Agony.” “Gasp…gasp… What the heck are you doing?! That defies all the laws of common sense!” “As I promised, I simply poked you in warning. I’ll go for both of your eyes next time. If you don’t like the idea of that, then slap some glasses on and become a glasses character! Do you understand me now? This is why you don’t talk about getting fat in front of girls. That would be like telling a boy that…uh…” From the way the conversation was going, it sounded as if she was going to give an example here, but she faltered. Her face was red for some reason. “Don’t tell me you got so embarrassed at your own example you can’t even say it?” “Shut up! Th-th-th-th-that’s not it at all!” She dug her finger into his eye again. (Don’t try this at home, kids.) “Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaagh! I can see my ancestors…!!” Afterward, Ryouta profoundly reflected on all the types of violence in the world. He turned on the TV to the news, also to change the mood. It looked as if they were just in time for the typical horoscope hour that came with the morning news. “And now for the Sacred Blood News satellite, our segment on today’s blood-type horoscope. The luckiest people today will be those with blood type B! Drinking will give you energy, and you may receive special praise from your boss. Next luckiest will be those of blood type O! You might find a trinket you’ve lost if you drink! Next on the list is—” “Hold it! Change the channel!” Other channels featured shows such as Morning Bloodpool, Good Bloody Morning, and other news broadcasts with names that did nothing to reassure him. Of course, Ryouta had never seen these before. “Why are you being so loud first thing in the morning?! Where are your table manners? I’ll poke you again.” “All these bloody news channels— Blech!” There was a tug on the chain attached to his collar, and Ryouta retched. This was difficult during mealtime. “Be quiet, servant. This is the land of the Sacred Blooded, so of course the programs on TV will be for the Sacred Blooded. But never fear—we have the broadcast rights to popular shows from Japan, so they air episodes of Precure and Se-san and special Friday night showings of Miyazaki films.” “Why are they all anime?” “There are no companies within Empire territory that create animations yet. You could also say our population isn’t large enough to support the industry, so we have no choice but to buy the rights. Mm, yes, the food is delicious. This just confirms my feelings that a traditional Sacred Blood breakfast is much better than just plain bread!” “I don’t know if I would call this traditional Sacred Blood food…” “This food isn’t exclusive to Japan, you know. It’s our time-honored cuisine as well, and for a reason. It would take a good three hours to explain about the creation of traditional dishes and Sacred Blooded involvement, so we’ll leave that for another time.” Everything about these people was setting off his bullshit detector. “Huh. I was just wondering, by the way, but is that your uniform?” he asked. Shiren was wearing a blazer, which was clearly a part of a school uniform. “Yes. I am a high schooler, after all. Year Two, Class Three of the Sacred Blood First High School. Hmph!” She suddenly pulled on his chain, and Ryouta’s face slammed into the table. “You were just thinking, You don’t look like a second-year student at all. You look like a sixth grader, weren’t you?” “I never said anything like that! Stop using your master privileges so sudden— Guh!” She pulled on his chain again. “Stop talking back to me like that. You will be my minion one day, Ryouta. You’re infinitely close to becoming my minion for real. I’m not asking you to call me Lady Shiren, but at least be polite. If you need ideas for softening your language, I can suggest some stock phrases such as ‘the great’ or ‘even greater than Venus, the goddess of beauty.’” “You are way too full of yourself, Lady Shiren. You need to adopt a more reserved attitude, Lady Shiren. You’re very short—are you sure you don’t have a condition, Lady Shiren?” “I’m going to poke both of your eyes in five hours.” “Please don’t; you’re freaking me out! If you’re going to, then just do it now! I always eat my least favorite foods first!” “It’s almost time. Get changed, Ryouta. I will take the chain off you only for now.” “Wait, I’m going to school, too?” That was unexpected. He was under the impression he’d be forced to stay home and do all the cleaning. “The Sacred Blooded have an obligation to give their minions the education they want, and minions have the right to the education they want within reason. A minion without intelligence is an embarrassment to his master. That’s why you will graduate from high school and get into a good university. You will get into Tokyo University, even if it kills you. And no dinner for you if you are not in the top ten of your graduating class.” “My ‘rights’ started to sound a little compulsory there…” Well, beats staying home all day and doing chores, Ryouta thought. He’d have to do them when he got home anyway, though. “Indeed, you should thank me. And I want to parade my potential minion around at school.” “I think I just heard you muttering something under your breath there.” “Just your imagination. Now go, quickly! Your change of clothes is already waiting for you in your room!” PUBLIC HIGH SCHOOL NO. 1, ESTABLISHED TO NURTURE THE TALENT THAT WILL CREATE OUR NOBLE FUTURE The school’s full name was long. “This is my school: Public High School No. 1, Probably Established to Just Inflict Pain on Us and I Wish They Loved Us More.” “You only got the very first part of that right.” “Oh no! I thought I memorized that for my quiz!” “They quiz you on your school name? What kind of school is this…?” The walk was about fifteen minutes from the house to the school gates. It was just an ordinary public high school; only the name had been changed. As the two stood before the gates, the flow of students into the school passed by them and into the school grounds. To be honest, their school uniforms looked just like Japanese uniforms at first glance. Every time a student passed the duo, they stared and whispered “What is that?” and “Ewww!” Ryouta heard all of it. He felt like he’d become some kind of pervert. He always attracted the attention of girls in Japan, but this kind of attention was a first. “Heh-heh. It seems my minion (candidate) has caught everyone’s attention! My minion (candidate) will rule the world in the next five years as its supreme overlord!” “Stop! Don’t pick out my path in life without telling me! And they’re not looking at me because I’m your minion! Let’s just get to class, okay?” “Is it my beauty, then?” “Don’t interpret it so optimistically. First, this collar!” Ryouta poked at the collar on his neck. The chain rattled. He’d walked through town to school, being led on a collar by a girl. This was totally perverted. Plus, to make matters worse, the collar was only one of the things she’d made him wear. “And what are these clothes?! These aren’t normal!” Ryouta swished the skirt he was wearing. He had on the same girls’ uniform that Shiren wore. Of course, that included the skirt on the bottom. “What else am I supposed to do? I don’t have a male uniform in my house. I would never make you wear my clothes; I’m not a deviant. And the only ally I could borrow a uniform from was Tamaki.” Sure, without any close male friends, she probably wouldn’t have been able to borrow any. “Then at least let me come to school in the regular clothes I was wearing yesterday…” “They were rather sweaty since you had been hiking in the mountains for hours. If you wore them, then everyone would remember you as the sweaty boy.” That wouldn’t have been good, either, but it would’ve been better than coming to school in the girls’ uniform. But it was too late. “Still, it looks better on you than I thought. You have a feminine face, so you sort of look like a girl if you squint.” “Oh yes, that’s exactly how it looks, heh-heh.” Ryouta heard an unfamiliar voice, and a moment later, the unfamiliar girl who belonged to it appeared. She had long, glossy black hair. The first impression he got was that she was a traditionally beautiful girl, trim and tidy. She was so beautiful that a foreigner would’ve praised her as the epitome of Japanese charm. “You look like a girl from behind, but your strides are a little too wide when you walk,” she remarked. “Right. And you should keep your arms closer to your center,” Shiren added. “If they go too far forward, you look fatter.” “Okay, I don’t need your advice, and I’m not really interested in learning how to cross-dress. And who is this?” There was too much for him to comment on, so he went in order. “Oh, this is my classmate and only comrade, Tamaki Shijou.” “‘Only’? How lonely are you? Wait, so this uniform belongs to you!” “Hello, I’m Tamaki Shijou. Yes, that uniform is mine. Oh, a boy is wearing it… This is too much; I didn’t know it’d be used for such a fetishistic activity…” When she realized what was happening, tears began welling in Tamaki Shijou’s eyes. “No! You’re completely misreading this! I swear!” “Don’t tell me you did a-a-all sorts of unmentionable things wearing the uniform? I’m so scared; what if I can’t wear it anymore?! And it’s brand-new, too! My third mother bought that for me before she died!” “I haven’t done anything weird, okay?! I just put it on before leaving for school! And why did you have to bring up something so serious?!” Shiren tapped Ryouta on the back and leaned over to whisper, “Tell her you like the library committee armband she’s wearing.” Now that she mentioned it, he noticed the red armband around her right arm. The character for book was written large on it.