Chapter 100

“You’re getting more and more specific!” “We will name them Nobunaga, Mitsuhide, and Hideyoshi, so that they will grow up to be outstanding warriors.” “That sounds like the makings of a bloody tragedy, so please don’t!” “And if all three of them are girls, then we’ll name the oldest Antoinette—” “Why are you choosing names that spell out death for all of them?!” “Then what about Antonio?” “That’s a boy’s name!” “Names are but decoration. With enough love, children can be named Piggo or Limpie.” “No, they can’t! And if you loved them, you wouldn’t give them names like that! You’re ensuring trouble in their future!” “W-well… That hardly matters now… First, we have to make the children…” Things were going in an awful direction. “H-here I go… This is my first time, so I’m not entirely sure what to do…” Sasara placed a hand on his trousers. This was bad—it seemed like things were really going to happen… “Oh, aren’t these cheap jeans from Uniqlo? Pfft.” “Don’t fault other people’s clothes! Where else am I supposed to get clothes from? The Fuyukura household is in dire financial straits!” “Your belt is quite cheap, too… Your whole outfit is cheap… And I cannot believe you came to a dinner party in jeans in the first place.” “Stop acting like the fashion police! Hearing that in this situation makes it hurt even more.” “W-well then… Here I go…” Ryouta was about to get his jeans pulled down before he could think of anything to stop it. “Wait! You’ll definitely regret this when you get back to normal! Stop it!” “—Zzz…” But that was when Sasara’s consciousness cut out. She had fallen asleep with perfect timing. “I’m safe. In a way, talking about all that stupid stuff to waste time really saved me…” Ryouta wished he could feel total relief, but he was still tied up, so he couldn’t. “I need to get out of these bindings and lock the door; otherwise, I could be in trouble…” Kiyomizu had already taken out all the guards, and now anyone was free to come into his room. He wasn’t entirely sure if there were rules to how being “bashful” worked, but he had a feeling that he was in the most danger as the only man in the group. “Ehem, ehem.” It was then that he heard a familiar voice from above. Rei, Ryouta’s older sister, was on the ceiling. To be more precise, she was on the chandelier. “Why are you up there, Rei…?” “I can react quickly from here if your chastity is put in danger, Ryou, so I thought it would be the perfect ehem, ehem, ehem. And then right at the perfect moment, I’ll— Ahh!” The cable holding up the chandelier broke under her weight. “Here we— Guh…” Rei made hard contact with the floor and lost consciousness. Ryouta thought he saw a fragment of the chandelier sticking out of her skin, but she was probably fine. She had always been fine in the past, so there was no reason to believe this time would be any different. “Phew, I’m glad her bad luck came through at the right time.” She was his actual sister, so her affection for him was a lot more troublesome to deal with than that of the others. This was a relief. “But there’s no way this is the end… The door’s still open… There are no guards, so anyone can come in…” As he waited, half resigned to his fate, the door opened a smidge. The first thing he saw were long rabbit ears. “I was bored, so I came over.” “Oh, hey, Kokoko. I could tell it was you by your rabbit ears.” “Don’t be silly. I’m a fox. Don’t compare me to a lower creature like a rabbit.” She had grown up being told that she was a fox, so she still thought of herself as one. It wasn’t a joke—she genuinely believed it. “What’s your favorite food?” “Carrots! …And fried tofu.” “You said carrots first, didn’t you? So why are you here…?” Kokoko barged into his room. She had a white sack on her back. It was stuffed with all sorts of things, like some kind of infinity pocket. She produced some fried tofu from it. “I brought some really good fried tofu. Be grateful.” “No thanks!” “You sure are picky, aren’t you? Then I suppose I can give you a carrot.” This time, she had veggies. “At least cook it first!” “What…? You know I rarely ever give things to other people, right…? O-only like once in a hundred years…” Tears filled her eyes. Right… She has divine blood, so she only ever receives offerings from others… Even though she was acting this way because of the bashful shroom, maybe this was something he should accept. And Kokoko’s affection was a lot more childish than the others; it didn’t seem like things would reach a point of no return with her. “Okay. I guess I’ll take the carrot.” “Right. I’ll get you ready, then.” She pulled down Ryouta’s pants. “You’re all tied up, so it makes it hard to take them off.” “Wait. What did you mean by ‘get me ready’?” “I’m going to stick this carrot up your buttho—” “Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!” If he screamed like that in an apartment, someone would definitely come over to complain. “A god’s words are final. And anyway, you said you wanted this.” “Don’t try to feed me where the sun doesn’t shine! You can just put it in my mouth instead!” “But wouldn’t feeding you through your mouth be kind of embarrassing…? Our eyes might meet…” Kokoko shyly looked away. Her embarrassment is childish, too. It’s almost adorable… “That’s why your butthole is perfect since we can’t look at each other.” “It’s not perfect! It’s not! It really isn’t!” “Also, I bought one of those video cards to watch a naughty video and saw some S-M like that. A man had a carrot up his butt.” “That’s the reason?! And those videos aren’t for kids!” “I’m a god, so I’m way over eighteen age-wise.” “What a cheap double standard…” “Therefore, I’ll be putting this in your butt.” “‘Therefore’ doesn’t fit the mood here!” “It may change into pleasure over time.” “I don’t want to keep trying!” And with his pants having been pulled down… “Hey, I feel slee— Zzz, zzz…” —Thunk. Kokoko collapsed to the floor. “Phew… That was probably the biggest danger I’ve faced so far…” “Zzz, zzz… Pfft, it really went in his butt, zzz, zzz…” “Hey! Don’t carry it over into your dreams, too! Get up! …Wait, no, I don’t want you to wake up! Stay asleep! But don’t dream about that, either!” “And a second one goes in… Zzz, zzz…” “Why do I have to be defiled in someone else’s dream…?” He decided to be relieved that the damage wasn’t real, at least. But there were still enemies remaining. “Buona sera, Ryouta! You’ve got quite the harem here~.” This time, it was Alfoncina. Here’s more bad news… Ryouta froze. Alfoncina was typically on the sultry side even on a normal day, so he wasn’t thrilled to find out what she would be like under the effects of an aphrodisiac… Being tied up right in front of her made him like a mouse in front of a cat. And she had bitten him before, too. “Kiyomizu, Sasara, Rei, Kokoko—you look like quite the lady-killer here, don’t you~?” “Real lady-killers aren’t typically tied up like this… Uh, I don’t expect anything, but I have to ask. Could you undo this rope?” “No.” “I didn’t think you would.” Alfoncina climbed up on the bed with Ryouta. Sigh, I guess I’d better steel myself for this… “Hee-hee, I’ve been neglecting you of late, haven’t I, Ryouta?” She reached out to stroke his cheek. He shivered. An inexpressible feeling coursed through his body. He couldn’t not get excited when she did stuff like that to him. He was in anguish. “Oh, just bite me already! It’s not like I can run away!” Any minute now, he was expecting to feel her chomp down. But she did no such thing. All she did was deliberately stroke his hair and cheek. Her expression seemed a bit different than usual, too. There was an air of anxiety about her, and a look of worry on her face. “What’s wrong, Alfoncina…?” “You think I’m a carefree woman with no restraint, don’t you, Ryouta? But to tell you the truth…I just want to spend precious time with the one I love…” “You… Did you say ‘love’…?” No, no, no—this had to be the effect of the mushrooms. Don’t worry about it, Ryouta… “It’s so nice to just lounge around and do nothing like this with the one I love.” Alfoncina gently embraced him. His heart was pounding out of his chest, but the warmth was winning out over the intensity. “You don’t mind if I just stay like this, do you…?” “N-no, not at all, go ahead…” He couldn’t say no after she’d asked in such a pleading voice. “Being archbishop is so stressful. I have to show up for political functions and the like. For now, let me stay with you a while and refresh myself, okay…?” “Sure, if that’s what you want…” “…Hic.” He then heard what sounded like a hiccup. “Hey, Alfoncina, are you crying?” He looked up to see her eyes pooling with tears. “Working as archbishop is so hard! I just wish I had someone to dote on me sometimes! Waaaah!” “Alfoncina, is this what happens when you get affectionate? Are you the crying-drunk type?” Her personality was so different from what it normally was that Ryouta was getting confused. “I’m scared… I wish I could run away sometimes… I’m so tired… Hic… Sniff.” “It’s okay, there’s nothing to be afraid of. Everyone’s here to help you. Calm down now…” “But the manga work is almost thirty times more busy and painful!” “You aren’t balancing your work at all!” “I know… I’m so busy. Maybe it’s time I step down as archbishop…” “You should quit doing manga instead! You can’t quit being arch-bishop!” “I’ve been working hard for twenty-one years now, so maybe it’ll be okay to announce my retirement on account of burnout…” “Hey, you’re a teenager! When have you worked for twenty-one years?!” “Just indulge me please… Okay…? Is that okay?” she wheedled. This wasn’t fair. “Fine, fine, I’ll indulge you all you like…” “Hic, hic… Zzz, zzz…” As he soothed her, she eventually fell asleep—maybe all her crying had tired her out. “That was a shock. I’d never seen that side of her before…” Ryouta wriggled around and managed to get his legs free, then rolled to the side of the bed. “Please don’t let anyone else come, please…” Clack. The door opened once again. “Are you awake, Ryouta?” “Sorry for bothering you so late…” It was Shiren and Tamaki. They must have just come out of the bath; both Shiren’s long pigtails and Tamaki’s black hair were a bit damp. Two of them at the same time? I really hope they’re not under the effects of the toxin… “There’s something we’d like to talk to you about, Ryouta,” Shiren announced, marching into the room. There was a meek look on Tamaki’s face as well. “What is it?” “Who would you pick—me or Tamaki?” “What kind of quiz is this?!” He had no idea what exactly she meant by “pick.” It didn’t matter what she meant, though, because all those meanings were bad. Now that he looked closer at them, he didn’t see any shred of rational thought left in their eyes. The mushrooms again. “Ryouta, I know Tamaki drank your blood once.” Oops. That was indeed something that had happened. “Outwardly, you’re my minion. That said, it isn’t official. So if you’re planning on picking Tamaki, then I’d like to hear you say that out loud right now.” A rather weighty question had been presented to him. They shouldn’t be talking about something so important while they were essentially drugged, but that was the only reason they’d brought it up at all. “Please make a choice, Ryouta… Of course, I won’t mind if you say to me, Get out of here, trash. You know me—I don’t have any big expectations. But if, if there’s a chance we can be together, then I’ll do all I can to work hard for you…,” Tamaki said feverishly. Or maybe she had a literal fever. “Well, it’s obvious that Ryouta’s going to pick me, his master.” “No, sorry to be forward, but neither of us can guarantee that will happen,” Tamaki said back. That was unusual. “Hey, what on Earth does that mean, Tamaki?!” “Because if you two were that in love with each other, then things would never have come to this.” “Not true! Ryouta and I aren’t bound by love, but by something else—like loyalty! That’s all!” “Then you can have the loyalty, so please allow me to take the love. I would be perfectly happy with that alone…” “How casually brazen of you, Tamaki! But there’s no way I could give that to you!” “Indeed. It’s Ryouta who is making the decision.” It was slowly becoming a bloodbath in here. “Hmph! It’s still obvious he’s going to pick me!” “No, he will pick me!” “No, me!” “Me!” Shiren and Tamaki took one big step closer to Ryouta. “What are you going to do, Ryouta?” They were rapidly closing in on him. Ryouta took a step back and fell, sitting onto the bed. He couldn’t retreat any farther. Shiren and Tamaki settled on either side, sandwiching him. I’ll just have to give a safe answer here… This had been the scariest development so far. The pressure on him was unbearable. “Look, I’m Shiren’s minion, and I know I have to serve my master well—” “Who cares about service right now?!” He’d tried a defensive play, but it was shot down immediately. “The question is—who between me and Tamaki are you going to choose?! Who cares about service and minions?! If that’s the problem here, then I’d serve you, Ryouta!” Shiren yelled with panic in her voice. Even though this was all the poison’s fault, he could easily tell that those were her true feelings. “Now give us your answer.” She reached out to put her hand on his collar, the proof that he was her minion. “Yes, Ryouta, put an end to this!” They both shoved their faces close to his. He desperately tried to find ways he could end this situation peaceably, but he couldn’t think of anything. Then at the last moment, he got the perfect idea. “Uhh, well… This is an important question, so I might have to give you my answer in another three days…” His strategy was to put off his conclusion until long after the effects of the mushrooms had worn off. Pretty clever, if I do say so myself! That should get me through this! “I see, so he can’t choose one over the other.” “He cannot find an answer, can he?” Yes, exactly! “Which means he wants both of us.” “We tied for first place.” “How did you jump to that conclusion?!” He felt them grab each of his arms, right and left. “I will do literally anything and everything for you all of the time, Ryouta… I might gross you out, but I will make sure you feel good…” With her free hand, Tamaki began unbuttoning her shirt. “You don’t need to do any of that! I mean it!” “Hmm. F-fine, then I’ll just have to do better…” Shiren also began to unsteadily remove her skirt. “Stop! We’re all going to regret this later, so cut this out right now!” “Cut what out, Ryouta…? Do you mean you’d find it hotter if I left my shirt on…?” “Don’t ask me these things!” “Oh, that’s right… Which manga do you like from Kairakuten?” “You can’t seriously think that’s a good way to ask what turns me on!” “Then shall we buy a video card and have a look?” “I mean it, you don’t need to check!” “All right, Tamaki, whoever turns Ryouta on wins.” “Don’t put stupid rules in place!” “Shall I massage you with my underwear right after I take it off, Ryouta?” “I really don’t know how to answer that kind of proposition! I am not that perverted!” But once they had stripped down to their underwear— “Oh, I’m sleepy…” “Yaaawn…” —both of them fell asleep. At last, Ryouta was saved. He sighed and removed the rope binding him. It had loosened when Tamaki tried to take off his clothes and had come off more easily than he had thought. That was the one silver lining of this situation. He would hate to spend the whole night tied up. “That was close, but I think most people have fallen asleep now… Wait, there’s still—” “—Me left.” Ouka slowly entered the room. She got here before I could escape… The first words that popped into Ryouta’s head were final boss. “Ouka, those poison mushrooms have made a real mess here. You’ve had some, too, so go back to your room and go to sleep.” “Oh? I’m fine. I took the antidote beforehand.” “What…?” Ouka chuckled triumphantly. “Everyone always pays attention to the bashful part of the bashful shroom, but the sleep-inducing effect that comes right afterward is more important.” “There you go, plotting again… But I guess you’d never throw a party for free, would you? There’s always a catch.” “How cheap do you think I am?! It is true that the other party was canceled! And we weren’t getting the money back, cancellation or no, so I put together this little event! Otherwise, I wouldn’t have done anything since it’d be a waste!” “You are cheap! You got mad at me for being right!” It was very unfair for her to be upset with him. “But why on Earth did you do all this…?” Her motivations didn’t really add up. “Can’t you figure it out…?” Ouka’s eyes darted around aimlessly. “I thought this would let us have a calm chat together… I barely get any time off, you know.” Oh yeah, we have known each other for a long time… They had been friends back in elementary school, and by the time they’d reunited, Ouka had become the leader of another country. Even though they were classmates now, they still didn’t have any time for idle chatter just between the two of them like they used to. And maybe that would never change so long as she bore the title of emperor. “This room is full of bodies.” “And that’s your fault…” Everyone who had come in to show Ryouta affection and then promptly fell asleep were all scattered throughout the room. And then there was the one unconscious after taking a fall. “We can’t have a nice easy chat in a place like this.” “Yeah, the population density’s a little high in here…” “Th-then…why not come to my room? I have drinks ready for us…” Ouka’s voice suddenly jumped an octave. She’s nervous about something… Wait, but… Something was unnerving Ryouta, too. “You didn’t put any weird traps in your room or anything again, did you?” “I’ve done no such thing! What are you going to do? Are you coming? Or not? Make up your mind! It’s making me feel awkward!” Ouka complained, her face red. Ryouta didn’t have the courage to joke about her blushing for no reason. “You’re right… I’ll come over, then. If you don’t mind…” “I don’t… It’s better that way…” “But being alone together in the same room is kind of…y’know…” “I-it’s all right… Because I know you’re a gentleman, Ryouta… You won’t try anything funny…” “That’s nice of you to say…” “B-but… You have to follow my rules when you’re in my room… I’m the emperor, after all…” “Status-wise, at least…” The two gradually made their way toward the corridor. But then there came a powerful sense of bloodlust. Oh no, is there an assassin somewhere in the building? It was so strong that even Ryouta sensed it right away. It was right behind them. Someone behind them really wanted someone dead. That’s right, the most important person…Ouka, the emperor, is basically without protection here… If there really was an assassin, then… This could be a crisis leading to the destruction of the Empire. No—who cared about the Empire? Ouka’s life was in danger. Ouka, I will protect you, no matter what… When he turned around… …he saw it was Sasara. She’d gotten to her feet, looking almost like a zombie. “Hey, weren’t you aslee—?” “It smells…like…Lady Ouka…” Well yeah, obviously, she’s right there—was what Ryouta was thinking, just as Sasara leaped at Ouka. “Lady Ouka! Let us love each other forever both in our dreams and in our reality!” “What is going on?! I’ve never heard of the affection effect being so powerful that it shakes off the induced sleep!” It seemed like the bashful potency remained even after losing consciousness. And because Ouka had passed by, Sasara had woken up. “Using normally unharnessed subconscious power, I have managed to stand! All for my love for Lady Ouka!” “Hey! It’s not fair to cheat with the power of love!” “Love makes the world go ’round, Lady Ouka. Love is limitless.” “I’m saying it’s cheating! Go to sleep!” “Forgive my rudeness, Lady Ouka!” Sasara leaped at Ouka, like a carnivore attacking its prey, and straddled her. When their eyes met, Ouka realized something. This was bad. It was impossible to tell if Sasara was in a sleepy haze or still under the effects of the bashful shroom, but either way, she was unable to control herself. “Oh, Sasara. Anything more than this is forbidden. This is really, really bad, like lèse-majesté bad. Like R18+ bad, like—ah, ahh…” Ouka’s clothes were already disheveled. Her underwear was visible. Ryouta, frozen in shock from the sudden turn of events, finally snapped back to his senses. He had to stop them; otherwise, there would be trouble… Things were already bad. “They may both be girls, but I have to help her… Hey, Sasara, get out of there.” Ryouta moved forward to pull Sasara away. “ I W I L L K I L L A N Y O N E W H O G E T S I N M Y W A Y. ” Her glare was so intense that someone with a weak heart would probably die from shock. O-oh, there’s the bloodlust I sensed earlier… “Begone. If you interrupt me, I will kill you. I mean it! I will risk my life to live in this moment! I do not care if I die afterward! In fact, dying in the act would be like dying in heaven!” She expressed her rock-solid determination, though this was completely the wrong time and place for that… Ryouta hesitated. Would he steel himself, too, and risk dying to save Ouka? Or would he give up and get out of there? It wouldn’t be very manly of me if I couldn’t save my own childhood friend— “Ryouta Fuyukura! You are greatly mistaken if you think your lukewarm ideas of justice can get in the way of my long-cherished desires! Little things like common sense and morality will mean nothing in the face of my fury!” “That’s an absurd thing to be so valiant about!” “If you want to stop me, then you may as well draw my own blade and cut me down right now! But I will not stop until you do! I will not stop until I die! That is the resolve of a knight!” “I think you’ve misinterpreted something there!” There was…nothing he could do to stop her. They’re both girls, so they probably don’t mind. This is just girls being close, Ryouta explained to himself. “Right, I guess I’ll sleep in the ballroom downstairs tonight. The floor might be a little cold, but I don’t think a guy could sleep in this room, so it’s not like I have a choice. Yeah.” And he honestly thought he would be killed if he tried to go against Sasara. “Hey, Ryouta, wait, wa—” “I can’t hear you; I can’t hear anything…” “Hey—Sasara! Don’t take…any more off… Ah…” Ryouta left the room without looking back. It wasn’t his fault. It was the world’s fault. No, actually, it was clearly Sasara’s fault. The next morning, everyone was having breakfast together. “Sigh… I feel so sluggish…” Ouka, for some reason, seemed really tired. “If I may, Lady Ouka, did something happen? You have been sighing this whole time,” Sasara asked with a bright smile; there was no malice behind it. It didn’t seem like anyone remembered any of the things they said or did while under the effects of the bashful shrooms. It was unclear as to why everyone had been in Ryouta’s room and why Ryouta himself had been sleeping downstairs, but there was a tacit agreement among all of them not to touch on the subject, considering things might get a little sticky. “You seem happy, Sasara.” “Yes, I had quite the fantastic dream. Would you like to hear it, Lady Ouka?” “Do not tell me under any circumstances.” “I’ll give you a hint: You and I—” “Seriously, say nothing! And you’d better forget about it, ASAP!” Ouka sounded frightened when she spoke. Only Sasara, who had woken up again to act, seemed to vaguely remember the night before. “No chance. I wrote it down in story form on my computer before I forgot about it.” “You get to work way too quickly!” “It was the perfect length for a novella, so I think I might send it in and try for a new author’s award.” “I don’t want to hear anymore. I seriously don’t want to hear about this…” Ouka was shaking. She was probably thinking about what she would do if it got published… “Hey, Ryouta.” Ryouta jumped when Ouka said his name. At the end of the day (or night), he had abandoned her to her fate, so it felt like he was sitting on needles. “What is it, Ouka…?’ “It’s bad to trick people, isn’t it…?” Ouka murmured, looking unusually worn out. “Y-yeah. You should never resort to using poison…” Ryouta and Ouka sighed at the same time. ““Sigh…””