“Even…,” stammers Zenobia. “Even the elves have been spoiling him like this? No wonder he got so fat.” H-how did you figure it out? That I come here all the time to get waited on? “How careless and negligent can you be?! If something happened, do you really think you’d be able to do anything about it like this?!” “Arf, arf! (B-but I’m so slim now!)” Gaze upon this beautiful body, utterly devoid of superfluous flesh! Of course, it’s the power of the shape-shifting technique maintaining my form… I’m way too scared to think about it to dispel the technique now… “When is this meeting going to start anyway? I had to sneak away during our meal for this, you know. I did make sure to force down the tomato salad, of course!” Folding her arms and complaining is a blond maid—the vampire princess Carmilla, formerly one of the Demon Lord’s generals. Like Belgor, who was sealed in a knife, she too has had her powers stolen, having morphed from a woman with a very sproingy figure into a little girl who looks good with a two-sided updo. Her lust for blood is gone, and now the tsundere maid loves fresh tomatoes more than the blood of virgins. “As meals are luxuries for us, it does not pose much of an issue, but I have work this afternoon as well, so I would very much appreciate it if we finished this quickly…” Taking his monocle off to wipe off the grime is the necromancer Lich, also a former general in the Demon Lord’s army. Like the maid, he’s doing brisk work as a servant. “Even my eyes couldn’t possibly have identified Lady Mircalla and Lord Richmond as Demon Lord’s army generals…,” murmurs Zenobia. Actually, those eyes of yours are blinder than you think. Of course, maybe you’re less blind than the others at the mansion since you were the first who caught on to my identity. “I’d heard you’d both had a change of heart, but can I really trust you…?” she continues. “Isn’t the very fact that two generals from the Demon Lord’s army are living at the mansion a danger unto itself?” More accurately, it’s three. I bet the other one is currently busy being delighted as the old man cares for and cleans him. “Hmph!” sniffs Mircalla. “It’s not like we’re working there because we like it or anything!” No, you definitely seem like you’re satisfied with your maid lifestyle. I always see you around with that group of three, practically whistling while you work. “What…? Then why are you staying so long at the mansion?!” Zenobia barks. “You’d better not be plotting anything evil!” Mircalla’s words were a tsundere cliché, but Zenobia is thickheaded and so she seems to have taken them at face value. She rests a hand on her sword’s hilt and directs a sharp glare at Mircalla, who flinches. “Wh-wh-what do you want?! A fight?! Well, you’ll have your fight! With the king here, that is!” Mircalla hides behind me, bares her teeth, hisses, and threatens Zenobia. Wait. Please don’t rely on me. You combined with the elf girls now clinging to me make me look like a tree that grows beautiful women. “Please calm down, Lady Zenobia,” Richmond says soothingly. “With our powers stolen, we have only the strength of normal humans. We haven’t even enough to commit any evil deeds. Were you not convinced by what the Lady Witch explained to you?” “Mgh…” With Richmond being the voice of reason, Zenobia groans. His powers of persuasion are doubled thanks to his old and mature butler image. He’s such a stylish gentleman now, you’d never think he used to be an enormous bone giant. “You needn’t worry. In the unlikely event that they rebel, the Fen Wolves will waste no time hunting them down and killing them. You should have no complaints then. Human, you keep watch inside the mansion. We shall keep a watchful eye outside it.” That declaration comes from Garo, currently in her human form, leaning against the Worldtree. Despite her black hair, golden eyes, and essentially naked state, strangely, she doesn’t come off as seductive. Perhaps it’s because of how awe-inspiring she is on the inside. Garo is participating in this meeting, too, as the Fen Wolf representative. Her daughters, Shiro and Kuro, who are always following her around, seem to be minding their home right now. It would be too disruptive to have an actual meeting with those two kids in attendance. And certain people—read Zenobia—might have lost it at how cute they are, rendering the meeting useless in another way. “…Fine. I’ll accept that for now,” says Zenobia. “But who are you?” “What? We’ve met before.” Garo raises an eyebrow at the dubious inquiry about her identity. “…Ah, this is your first time seeing me in this form.” Garo slowly does a forward roll in midair, and a moment later, she’s changed into a splendid black wolf. “Grwl? (And now? Do you recognize me?)” “Wha…?! You—You’re that wolf from before…! You can change into a human?!” Zenobia is stunned. I guess anyone would be shocked at a wolf pretending to be a person. Incidentally, Garo learned the shape-shifting technique for the pretty dumb purpose of changing into a human to charm me—someone who is not a furry—so I’d appreciate you not listening to her. “I had no idea you ranked so highly as a monster that you could transform into a person… Wait. If you can do it, then can Routa…?” Pretty sharp for the dim-witted Zenobia. “Of course. It would not trouble His Majesty the king in the slightest.” Uhh, actually, it would. What is going on with those strange expectations of hers? Sure, I can use the shape-shifting technique. In fact, I’m using it at this very moment. All to maintain a size that I can just barely insist belongs to a dog. “Meow. (That’s the dumbest use for it in the whole world.)” Nahura, who has joined up with us via teleportation, climbs onto my back. “Arf. (Don’t call it dumb. That’s rude.)” For me, this is the best use for it in the world. Considering my rate of growth in the past, I’m too terrified to even think about how big I would become if I dispelled the transformation. I’m keeping it on for the rest of my life. And so I can say for certain that I will never, ever transform into a human like Garo does. “Arwf! (Indeed… It’s all for…!)” For my goal to lead a happy life as a pet! That’s the whole reason I quit being a human and reincarnated as a dog. Why would I be so sad I wanted to go back to being a human? Yes to doggy slaves, and no to corporate slaves. “…Well, fine. That’s not what we’re here for anyway,” sighs Zenobia upon seeing me get all proud and haughty. Huh? Why does it seem like you’re fed up? I just said something real good. That’s weird. “Squeak… (I personally don’t think you uttered even a fraction of anything good…)” “Meow. (I just don’t understand how Routa’s brain works. I do understand he’s hopeless, though.)” I am not hopeless. As the usual exchange between us unfolds yet again, Mircalla loses her patience. “Why are we even here right now in the first place? Was there something to do besides introducing ourselves?” She’s a little cranky, probably because all she had for lunch was a salad. Her words are right on the mark, though. Aside from Zenobia, everyone here is acquainted, and even Zenobia has gotten an explanation of most things from Hecate. Like Mircalla says, it would seem that now that we all know each other, there’s nothing else to do, but… “What are you saying?” responds Zenobia. “Generals from the Demon Lord’s army have appeared three times now. It’s only natural to think it will happen a fourth and fifth time. Most importantly, since the Demon Lord himself could be close to reviving, this is an emergency.” Hmm. Zenobia is pretty gung ho today. She must really want to make some plans to defeat the Demon Lord’s army. Is my presence really required for that conversation? Why are they taking for granted that I’m part of their combat force? Did they all forget I’m a house pet? “Squeak. (Please. You are the strongest in this group, milord.)” Oh, you and your little jokes. I’m just a helpless pet—my only strength is my cuteness. “Squeak, squeak? (Would a helpless pet have been able to brute-force his way past three of the Demon Lord’s generals?)” “Mew, mew. (You took them all down pretty handily, Routa. Without you here, the world might have been in grave danger by now.)” Grrr. I just want to be a dog. This Fenrir body is getting in the way of my peaceful pet life. “Fighting one personally has opened my eyes,” continues Zenobia. “If we let even one of the generals do as they please, it won’t matter if we stand at the head of entire armies—humanity wouldn’t be able to fight something like them.” Zenobia’s lousy sense of direction, hasty conclusions, and general uselessness are the things that always stand out about her—but that’s right. She used to be an extremely skilled adventurer. And if Zenobia says it, it must be true. Humanity’s a little too weak, isn’t it? What happened a thousand years ago during its battle with the Demon Lord anyway? “Squeak. (It is true that humankind is weak, but we are the paragons of our own races.)” So it’s not that humanity is too weak, just that this group is a menagerie of absolute monsters. Well, you can count me out of that. “Mew. (No can do, mister.)” “Squeak. (Accept it with grace.)” Damn it… “Until now, we’ve been responding as the enemies revive. But we won’t make any progress if we keep doing nothing until their revivals and losing the initiative. We need to make the first strike this time, before the enemies have a chance to reawaken!” Zenobia emphasizes her point with a tightly clenched fist. Nice. I should have expected such a perfect plan from Zenobia. Well, aside from how nobody knows where the bad guys will be coming from. “Umm, just so you know,” says Mircalla, “I don’t remember where the other generals were sealed. It’s been a thousand years. My memory’s hazy.” “I fear I do not know, either,” adds Richmond. “The last of the five generals are Gigas, the chief of the giants, and Behemoth, the warrior leader of beasts. They were likely sealed somewhere nearby, as we were, but to be frank, it will be nigh impossible to find their locations, since the geography has changed in the last millennium.” “What…?” Swiftly shot down by the two former generals, Zenobia is flabbergasted. Did her plans rely fully on their memories? “The Fen Wolves regularly patrol the forest, but we haven’t found any notable traces of them.” “Elves excel in detecting mana, but we haven’t sensed anything that might be them…” Garo, now human again, and Aruru, lying against me, deliver the finishing blows. “G-great…” Zenobia takes a knee. “That’s it, then… We’re at the end of our rope…!” That was fast. Shouldn’t have even bothered having a meeting. Well, I suppose that was a well-thought-out plan for the muscle-brained Gorillanobia. I’ll pet her on the head. “Arf, arf? (Aww, well, that’s too bad, isn’t it?)” “Hey, stop that! Don’t pet my head like you’re a friend or something! Your paws— The feeling of those paws is—!” Zenobia is being very cute, trying to resist but loving how squishy my paws are. Her face reddens with embarrassment, and she rapidly grows more teary-eyed. I can feel her anger gauge filling. That humiliated expression—I want to lick it. “Ugh…!” As I keep giving her head pats as she bites her lip in frustration, I think. “Arwf… (Well, that does put a damper on things…)” In reality, even if the Demon Lord’s army revives, we can’t do anything until it makes the first move. And it turns out the Hero we were relying on was a fake, brainwashed by a magic sword. Come to think of it, I wonder if that fake Hero, Allie, is doing all right. She set off with a bright and cheerful look after the magic sword’s mental control was dispelled, which is all well and good, but unfortunately, the real Hero has yet to appear. Where are you, true Hero? Please hurry and switch with me and wipe out the Demon Lord’s army. Why does a pet dog like me have to do the fighting? Is there even a Hero in this age to begin with? I just assumed, since people told me the army’s generals are reviving and there’s a Demon Lord around, that there must be a Hero as well. Except they’ve shown no signs of appearing. “What? What on earth are you talking about? The true Hero is your—” “M-Mircalla! The Lady Witch made us promise not to talk about that…!” “Ack!” Huh? What? Wait, do Mircalla and Richmond know something about the real Hero? “I… I, err, I don’t know! I didn’t say anything!” “Arrrf? (Hmmm? You serious?)” The ears of Fenrir hear all. I will not miss even those hushed words. “I’m… I’m telling the truth!” Your eyes are wandering something awful, Mircalla. “Arf, arf. (If you’re not honest with me, you’ll face a punishment of licking.)” “What? That’s not even scary. You can do that all you want.” Huh? Wait, did I just get permission to lick her?! Seriously? I get to lick a beautiful blond girl all I want? This is exciting… “Compared to that witch’s punishment, being licked all over my body is… It’s… Urp, I don’t feel so good…” “Eep…! Mircalla, please don’t make me remember that…!” Richmond yelps. It looks like the two of them have been through some pretty awful stuff. They start trembling all over as their minds flash back to it. How nasty. What on earth did Hecate even make them do? Also, I’m not going to do anything perverted like lick her all over. You got that? Just a little licking on the cheek. You got that? “Meow. (Routa, you’ve never licked someone on the face to begin with.)” Who are you calling a licking virgin?! Look, I’m just— I’m just a gentleman dog, okay? It would be rude to drool all over someone’s face without any restraint! It is not because I’m a chicken. “Mew? (Really? Is that really true?)” I look away from Nahura as she sends a narrow-eyed smirk my way. Len, who is on my head, turns upside down to look at me. “Squeak. (Milord, not that I am on their side, but I believe it would be wise not to trust the Lady Witch too much.)” Wait, what are you getting all serious for? “Squeak, squeak. (Listen to me. I know you’ve noticed that she has been doing much in secret.)” “Arf. (I guess.)” Hecate appears in unexpected places at unexpected times. She shows up at the mansion every now and again to check on Lady Mary, but she’s almost never around when things happen. She appears right as the incidents are wrapping up. Capturing the Demon Lord’s generals and making them into her familiars, drawing that giant magic circle at the waterfall where Len lived… She’s probably hiding a lot more from us, too. “Arf, arf. (It’s true that I don’t know very much about Hecate.)” She’s Lady Mary’s primary doctor, an acquaintance of Papa’s from when he was young, and a legendary witch with amazing abilities that every elf knows about. That’s about all I know. “Squeak. (You see? Even I cannot predict how that one will act. She is clearly hiding information from us. Her objectives are an enigma.)” Len’s right—maybe there’s good reason to be suspicious of Hecate. “Arf, arf. (But Hecate doesn’t seem like a bad person to me.)” Even without knowing her goals, we can acknowledge the outcome: We let the generals slip away, and she captured them and made it so they can’t be evil anymore. Even at the waterfall, if she hadn’t exhausted the mana with a magic circle, a large-scale magical disaster could have occurred. She’s helped us out several times in the past, and she’s never done anything to hurt us. “Woof, woof. (Also, when Hecate talks to the people at the mansion, she always has a really kind look on her face.)” Hecate has the outfit of a seductress, but she’s so mild when talking to Papa and Lady Mary, and it seems like she enjoys it. I can sense that, like me, she considers all the people at the mansion important. Even if Hecate does have an ulterior motive, it’s probably something crucial. And her silence regarding the Hero must be something she deems necessary. “Arf, arf. (So no matter what happens, I’ll trust her. She’s taken good care of me, too.)” “Meow… (Routa… Thank you. I’m sure the mistress would be overjoyed to hear that.)” Nahura, who has tears coming to her eyes, sniffs. “Mew, mewl. (Oh, I said ‘would’—but she actually is, right now. I’m connected to her, so it’s like she’s eavesdropping on the whole conversation. She’s sensitive despite how she looks, and I think she was worried that you might be suspicious of her, Routa. Getting anxious and keeping an ear out like this—it’s embarrassing, at her age. Oh. Oops. Wait, that means she knows that I just revealed all that—)” Remotely punished by something, Nahura gives a yelp and falls over. “Arf… (You just never learn…)” “Mew, mew… (Always saying one word too many is my biggest asset…)” What kind of asset is that? “Squeak. (I suppose a witch who employs such a foolish cat as a familiar cannot possibly be a villain. Very well, then. If you will trust her, milord, so too shall I.)” It looks like Nahura’s selling point immediately helped out. That’s good. You’ve won Len’s trust by being so dumb. “Mew, mew… (I’m honored to have been of service…)” Oh—she just passed out. As she collapses, I pick her neck up in my mouth and toss her onto my back. “Arf, arf. (Anyway, there’s not much else to talk about, so let’s call it for today.)” When I say that, everyone nods. “Ahh, come on,” complains Mircalla. “It’s already past lunch. I ended up missing out on my meal.” “There, there,” says Richmond. “Let’s wait for dinner. Until then, it’s back to work for us. We will be taking our leave now.” The two, accustomed to their roles as servants, give perfect bows and depart. “Lord Routa, if you have the time,” says Aruru, “would you not allow us to wait on you?” Wait on me… What a wonderful phrase. As a pet, the one thing I have in spades is time. Lady Mary is busy with her afternoon studies with Drills, so that’s no problem at all. Entertain me to your heart’s content. “Ahh, thank goodness. Let’s hurry and prepare!” “““Okaaay!””” The elf girls give a hearty response and start preparing to entertain me. “Arw-rw… (Huh-heh-heh… I wonder what today’s snack will be?)” Elf food is simple, with mild flavors. Its tastes are altogether different from the old man’s heavily spiced, more Western style, but they’re delicious in their own right. “Please rest here until we are finished preparing, Lord Routa.” They lead me to a bed of many leaves sitting in a pile on the ground. But don’t make light of simple leaves. These are from the Worldtree, where the elves live. They’re both soft and sturdy. Apparently, if you pound them and take out the fiber, they make good string. The leafy bed feels like a fluffy carpet when I lie down on it. Perfect for naps. “Arf, arf… (The Worldtree sure is something else…)” Its wide trunk serves as the elves’ home, its thick cover of leaves as their clothing materials, and its plentiful nuts as their bread ingredients. The Worldtree is indispensable to the elves. I look up at it; it rises high over the other tall trees in the forest like a tower. It’s a sight to behold. A tree this enormous will surely be able to maintain the elves’ lifestyle from now on. “We have you to thank for the Worldtree growing so tall, Lord Routa. No Worldtree of this magnitude has ever been planted, even in our homeland.” “Arwf? (Wait, what did I do again?)” Things I’ve done at the elves’ village: eat, sleep, and that’s it. “Umm, well, that is… Your urine, that is…” I get it. Don’t say it. I put a stop to Aruru as her face reddens. It seems the same gigantification that happened to the old man’s fields happened with the Worldtree, too. And now that I think about it, I do remember relieving myself around there once when I was too lazy to go off somewhere else to do my business. The Worldtree, needing a large amount of nutrients to grow, hoarded so much that it caused all the plant life nearby to decay. So the stuff that came out of me must have been really good fertilizer. I’ll use the bathroom in the mansion from now on. I must buck up and actually do it, without being lazy—at least when I’m nearby. I’m too scared of the trees or grass in the gardens expanding like that. The old gardener might faint. “Now then, please rest, Lord Routa. If I may humbly offer, I could sing you a lullaby at your side to let you sleep well…” “Hey, no fair!” “That right is reserved for the eldest daughter and village chief.” “Where was I when you decided that?!” The elf girls start loudly badgering each other. Excuse me, but would you mind letting me sleep in peace? “What was that?!” “Arwf?! (Huh? What?!)” Hearing the sudden, angry shout, I jump up. Wait, were we being noisy?! Sorry! It wasn’t me, though! “Shiro and Kuro are missing? Are you sure?!” That shout came from Garo. She’s speaking with someone on the outskirts of the village. “Bow…! (I’m terribly sorry, Lady Garo…! They were with me, and then they were gone…!)” “Gohh… (Wait—it’s not Bal’s fault. I was the one watching them when they disappeared. I only took my eyes off them for a moment, and now…)” In front of Garo, two creatures are hanging their heads—one is Bal, a Fen Wolf with brown coloring, and the other is Redarmor, a black bear with red chest fur. “Goh, gohh. (I think they heard about the meeting from someone. They’ve been wanting to see the king ever since morning. They snuck away from me without me realizing, and I figured they’d come here, so we followed them, but…)” “No, they haven’t come here…” “Bow…! (I’m terribly sorry, Lady Garo…! I shall atone for this carelessness with my life…!)” “Don’t be a fool…!” Seriously. Don’t say stuff like that. “Arf, arf? (Wait, what’s all this about Shiro and Kuro being missing?)” “Sir! I’m ashamed you had to witness that. We will be taking our leave now to deal with a pressing matter.” “Arf. (Wait, what are you saying? I’m obviously going to help search.)” The more searchers we have, the faster we’ll find them. I’m not overly familiar with this forest, but I’m better than nothing. “Y-you would deign to lend us your strength…?! But we cannot allow the king himself to be bothered with such trifles!” “Arf, arwf. (Quit being so formal. I’m one of the Fen Wolves, too, aren’t I?)” Well, actually, I’m just a dog, not a Fen Wolf. It’s more like I’m an honorary Fen Wolf. “My king…!” Garo is moved to tears by this. “Squeak. (You seem lazy about everything, but you’re manly when it counts.)” “Mew? (A natural womanizer, huh?)” Quit being stupid. We have to get going. “Your Majesty…! Thank you…! I will never forget this favor…!” Whoa, hey—don’t embrace me! It poses all kinds of problems! No! No licking! Don’t lick me in thanks when you look like that! Nooooooooooooo!!
Chapter 102
21 min read