Chapter 101

Nothing was sharper than that cursed blade. It could glide through iron and shave off thin slices of diamond. And now that magical sword was unleashing all its incredible power. “Fwa-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!! Take this! Take that! Tell me: How does it feel to yield to my blade?! Does it frustrate you?! Eh? Does it madden you?!” Glistening purple, the white blade flashed and flashed again, each time smoothly slicing through everything it touched. With every swing, a voice resounded, its laughter thick with rapture. “Heh-heh-heh! How pathetic you look! You’ll know what it means to be carved up, fresh, only to be softly plated and topped with a nice acidic nutrient-rich dressing!! It’s what you deserve!” The voice’s owner roared with laughter at the completion of this task. “Arwf… (Someone’s in an awfully good mood…)” Tucked in a corner of the kitchen, I sigh at the loud laughter. My gaze is on a heaping salad. A pile of vegetables sits on a large dish, fresh and juicy, water droplets snapping off it. “And done,” announces the master of the kitchen, an older man named James, putting down the knife in his hand. The previous shouts do not belong to the old man using the knife, however. No. That voice belongs to the knife itself, which—or who—just finished its work. “You’re a sharp one. Vegetables have never looked more alive. And you show no signs of ever dulling. No… In fact, you seem to be getting sharper with each cut…!” “Heh-heh-heh. So you do understand. My new servant… I, and only I, am the ultimate magic sword Belgor! Dicing, slicing, quartering—I care not what method we use! Bring the cuts on! With you, I will slice through any ingredients they can throw at us with grace!” “Arf…? (Is that really enough for you, ‘ultimate magic sword’…?)” The knife is actually a magicked blade that drained the lives of many while in control of the Hero’s mind. More accurately, it’s a demon who was possessing the Hero’s sword before Hecate stole his power; now he’s being used in the mansion as a kitchen knife. “Now I know for certain! In the history of all my servants, it is you who are the most talented! You have mastered the blade in all its facets, from its base to its tip, not depending on strength but using skill! A stark difference from those false Heroes who wielded me, merely relying on the sword’s capabilities to do their job for them! One thousand years since I was sealed away—and for the first time, I have learned the bliss of being truly swung!” The old man’s skills are apparently greater than those of generations of Heroes. Just what I’d expect from him—a phrase I feel like I’ve been using a lot. Still, it’s not as though he’ll ever be using those skills in battle. If the magic sword is satisfied with his current station, then all is well. “Ahh, I can’t get enough! How long until we receive more ingredients, my servant?! I can yet function!” Truly a remark unthinkable from Belgor, the ambassador of hell, formerly a general in the Demon Lord’s army. Supposedly, he was a wicked demon bent on wiping out humanity, but it appears he’s all but forgotten that role and now finds joy in life as a knife. “Arf, arf… (Well, just as long as the mansion is at peace and he doesn’t get in the way of my comfy pet life…)” The salad, incidentally, isn’t a meal for Papa or my lady, but for the maidservants. We may not have many here in the mansion, but there are still almost ten. It’s all on one big plate for efficiency’s sake—this way, they can all split it up themselves. “Chef, I’ll bring this over! Toa, grab that side!” “Y-yes, ma’am!” After entering the kitchen, Betty, the energetic maid, and Toa, the one with black twin tails, put the big plate of salad onto a cart and wheel it away. “Right, and I’ll be done once I plate the rest,” says James after them. “I’ll bring it over myself so you can start eating before me.” “Heh-heh-heh. With our powers combined, my servant, even food for so many becomes nothing more than a bunch of little chopped-up pieces in an instant!” Belgor talks about it joyously, but it seems the old man can’t hear his voice. James begins humming and putting the rest of the food on plates. “Arf, arf. (I guess he wouldn’t be able to stay sane if he had to listen to that rackety laughter every time he used the knife.)” Even if Belgor did plot something untoward, the old man would never be brainwashed since he can’t hear him. With that, all the fuss concerning the Hero is settled. “Arrrwww… (Feels good to take a nap on another peaceful day…)” Having finished my lunch earlier than the old man and the others, I decide to idle my time away in comfortable contentedness. I rest my head on my bushy tail and close my now-heavy eyelids. “Arrrw. (Good night.)” “Hey, don’t go to sleep. Get up.” I hear an intimidating voice from above me. “Arf? (Excuse you? Who was that? I was just about to idle my time away in comfortable contentedness.)” “I thought something was strange when you never showed up… I’ve been waiting for you ever since I hurried through my meal, you know.” The swordswoman Zenobia, her blazing red hair aflutter, stands there with her hands on her hips. For some reason, she seems ticked off. “Arf, arf. (Now, now. Anger is bad for your digestion, Zenobia. Let’s just take a nap together. Here, I’ll scoot over for you.)” And if you want to use me as a body pillow, all the better. “I said, don’t go to sleep! We talked about having a meeting to go over future plans today!” Huh? That’s news to me! “Why…you…” As I give a blank look, Zenobia glares at me, veins popping out of her temples. “Squeak. (Ah, yes, she did talk about that, didn’t she? You were half-asleep at the time, milord, which is likely why you do not remember.)” As I sleepily rub my eyes, Len pokes out of my mane. “Squeak? (It was all about how the Demon Lord’s generals are only reviving near this mansion, remember?)” Ah well. It’s annoying to think about, but all three of the ones who have revived so far have done so in the forest close to the mansion. The occurrences keep getting me wrapped up in battles I don’t want to fight, all to protect my peaceful pet lifestyle. And to make matters worse, my true identity has been revealed to Zenobia. I was scared that this time she’d tear me apart for sure, but after she got a synopsis from Hecate, she actually seems to have become our ally instead. But why is Zenobia so zealous about this? We should just laze around forever as fellow NEETs. “Squeak, squeak. (It’s only natural the girl would be so passionate. She has been entrusted with the defense of the mansion, albeit half-intentionally on her part. And to best defend it, she suggested that we gather up all those who know what’s happening to exchange information and prepare for the next enemy’s coming.)” Oh? Zenobia, you really are eager. I have to say, insisting you’ll protect the mansion—that takes wonderful pluck. I expect good things from you. Keep that enthusiasm up and protect everyone at the mansion, including me, the pet. “You’re literally our most powerful resource! What are you acting so carefree for?!” “A-arrrwf! (N-no, stop it! Don’t pull on it like thaaaaat! You’ll pull my collar oooofffff!!)” Zenobia snatches my red collar—the symbol of my pet-ness—and drags me away. How could you count a mere pet as part of your combat power? That’s just tyrannical! Don’t you have the kindness in your heart to protect a cute little puppy like me? “Squeak, squeak. (The sheer gall to call yourself a cute puppy… It is amazing, in a manner of speaking.)” “Woof, woof! (Hey! What are you talking about, Len? No matter how you look at me, I am a cute little puppy! Wait a minute, Zenobia! You can’t just drag a reluctant dog out for a walk! That’s cruelty! I’ll tell on you to my lady about this animal abuse!)” Well, I could tell on her, but my lady has never once understood a word I’ve said. “Don’t give me that woof woof crap! I already know you’re Fenrir, the Fen Wolf King! Lady Hecate herself told me! You think pretending to be a dog will work on me?!” “Rrrgggh!! (I am a dog, I am!! And even if I am the Fen Wolf King, Fenrir, I’m still a really cute Fenrir who is only a few months old!!)” I desperately struggle against Zenobia as she tugs on my collar. The old man, who has grown accustomed to seeing things like this, finishes his cooking without appearing to pay any attention to us and sets the plates onto a wheeled cart. “I don’t know what you two are up to, but that one’s been steadily polishing his eat-sleep-repeat habit recently. Would you mind taking him for a walk or something?” Zenobia bows to the old man as he leaves the kitchen. “Yes, Lord James, leave it to me. Just you watch—I’ll beat the laziness right out of this creature!” What’s wrong with a pet doing nothing but eating and sleeping?! Nooo! Meetings are awful! I don’t want to go to a meeting! You’re exceeding your authority! If you want me to do something, you must go through my owner first! “Ugh! Just get over here!” “Yip! (Lady Mary! Help me! Help meeeeeeeeeeeeeee!)” In the end, I was dog-napped from the mansion against my will and brought to the elves’ village in the forest. It’s the perfect place to talk about things without being overheard by the people at the mansion who know nothing about the Demon Lord’s army. “Oh, Lord Routa, you look so tired… You poor thing…” Aruru, the eldest of the elf sisters and the current village administrator, embraces my exhausted self and strokes me. When she does, Zenobia, who dragged me all this way, levels a sharp glare at me. Even under her scrutiny, though, Aruru doesn’t forget to give me head pats. “Humans are all the same…,” she says. “It seems they don’t understand just how grand you truly are, Lord Routa.” “How foolish humans are for not understanding how wondrous the king is.” “Yeah, the king’s really great!” “That’s right. All we have now is ours thanks to the king.” “The king is strong and kind—he is our divine protector.” The sisters gather, even Iruru and Oruru, and they start brushing me and feeding me snacks. Oh, that tastes good.