“D-die.”
Everybody’s a critic. Komari munched on senbei, glaring at me like I was worth less than the crumbs in her mouth.
“Did you hear a word I said? I did nothing wrong. Heck, I was being a pretty good senpai if you ask me.” How was that so hard to understand? I went for the last senbei with a sigh.
Kaju snatched it from me. “Oniisama, that girl is off limits. You are too weak.”
“What’s that supposed to—”
“It means she’s off limits!” Kaju turned away with big, pouty cheeks.
First Komari, now Kaju. I could only imagine the venom Yanami was itching to spit.
I turned to her. Only to find her dabbing her eyes with her handkerchief.
“Oh my gosh, I had no idea!” she blubbered.
She was sobbing. Like, legit sobbing.
✦ ✦ ✦
“Uh, Yanami-san?”
She threw herself onto the table and started to pound it. “Do you even have a soul?! How are you not torn up about this?! Shiratama-chan had her childhood friend stolen! It’s besties versus bitches, Nukumizu-kun, and there’s only ever one winner! It’s criminal!”
“Actually, her sister’s a childhood friend of his too. That makes Shiratama-san the criminal in this scenario.”
“Uh, nuh-uh. ’Cause she’s a bestie, isn’t she?”
That was all it took to escape the law, huh? Yanami sniffled and thought about her own logic. Looked like she was getting lost in it, which was my chance to change the subject.
“So, we good? That clear everything up? Meeting adjourned.” I made to stand, but Kaju and Komari, flanking me, grabbed hold of my clothes.
“There’s more of the story to tell, Oniisama.”
“But I told you everything that happened.”
“Y-you know why she was suspended.” I could just barely make out the sharp look in Komari’s eye through her bangs.
“Hey, I said I’d talk, but that doesn’t mean I have to spill every little—okay, fine.”
Interrogation tactic. Give up before they can hurt you. I gave them the summary of her wedding venue trespassing story.
I sipped. The tea had long gone cold. “There. That’s literally everything. There’s nothing more I can tell you.”
“Good job.” Kaju patted me on the head. Wasn’t my sister just the nicest?
Yanami blew her nose, crumpled the tissue up, and tossed it toward the bin. She looked pretty nonplussed. “She should feel lucky all that got her was a suspension. That’s, like, actually a crime.”
A rare nugget of common sense from her. Side note, she’d totally missed, and I wasn’t picking that tissue up myself.
“It’s not like she was hurting anyone, though. She just wanted to wear her sister’s dress and take a few photos. Just cute girl things.”
“Sneaking into a wedding venue at night isn’t ‘cute girl things.’”
True enough. Was starting to worry she was using up all her normal person juice for the year with all these totally reasonable statements. Regardless, she had a point. Shiratama-san was certainly cute—but also a little bit nuts. That coming from me, the guy who practically ran a weirdo day care.
Maybe our desperation for members was clouding our judgment a little.
“You might be right, Yanami-san.”
“Yeah, so it might be best for everyone if we just—”
“I-I think…!” Komari’s voice cracked. As if startled by her own volume, she suddenly hung her head. “I-I think we m-maybe shouldn’t be so judgmental. Because she’s…not suspended anymore.”
It was a little uncanny, hearing Komari be so frank yet still so skittish. I nodded. “Took the words right out of my mouth.” Yanami gave me a sarcastic look that said “really?” that I ignored. Yeah, I was “really” talking out of my ass right now. “We have no right to judge her. We’re all Tsuwabuki, and Konuki-sensei asked us a favor. We should try to have her back.”
I was met with silence. Uh-oh. Wrong conclusion?
After exchanging glances with Komari, Yanami pointed out, “You realize that we’re accessories now that we’ve all heard her situation. Her sister’s wedding is coming up, and if she pulls something again, it’ll be on the lit club.”
“That’s true, but…”
Yanami shook her head in resignation when I lost steam. “All right. We’ll talk to her.”
“Huh? You guys?”
“Some things take a girl’s touch. That work for you?” I nodded. She stretched. “Cool. Whew, that work up an appetite for anybody else?”
Kaju stood. “I’ll get us some more tea and snacks.”
“Oh, thanks. That wasn’t shade, promise.” She waved to her as she left. Not shade, no, but a little bit of social engineering for sure.
I waited for her to be totally gone. “So, about that SD card.”
“Oh.” Yanami crawled around on all-fours, eventually making it to the bin and the crumpled tissue next to it. “Scrunched it up with this on accident. Want it back?”
Slowly and with a deadened expression, I shook my head. So Yanami shrugged innocently and tossed it.
✦ ✦ ✦
SHIRATAMA RIKO INTERVIEW TRANSCRIPT
INTERVIEWER: YANAMI ANNA
The interviewee, Shiratama Riko (henceforth referred to as Shiratama-chan), sits in front of me. She looks nervous. It makes me nervous too.
I offer some Jelly Mix. She takes a cube. Her hands are small. Her skin is pale and pretty. Like shiratama. And kinda like me when I was a first-year. You shoulda seen me.
SHIRATAMA-CHAN: Thank you. These are the ones with the edible wrapping, right? I love those!
She unwraps the packaging. She’s right. As a veteran, I can confirm that, at least when it comes to jelly fruit snacks, those oblaat wrappings are much more fun to eat than the sugar-coated stuff.
SHIRATAMA-CHAN: Nothing screams “Toyohashi” quite like this stuff, huh? I remember being surprised when I learned other regional variants all use sugar.
Regional? But isn’t the sugar-covered kind just the fancy stuff? You only eat it when you’re celebrating something. My dad always got it for me for my birthday as a kid. I tell her that, and she laughs.
SHIRATAMA-CHAN: I’ve never heard that before. I like your dad.
She eats the candy. This calls for a Yanami family meeting, but anyway.
INTERVIEWER: So, Shiratama-chan. I want to talk about last Sunday.
She freezes. I start to say something else, but then she lowers her head.
SHIRATAMA-CHAN: Right. I totally stole your president. I’m sorry. I really do think that was mean of me.
INTERVIEWER: I mean, I don’t actually care what you do with him.
SHIRATAMA-CHAN: You don’t? He’s just so wonderful, I was worried I was imposing on him too much. I was expecting you to chew me out, to be totally honest.
Literally what is she talking about? Nukumizu-kun? “Wonderful”? The girl must be desperate. As her senpai, I have a moral duty to set her straight. I sit up as tall as I can.
INTERVIEWER: Shiratama-chan, you do know that’s Nukumizu-kun you’re talking about, yes? The guy who’s really weird about his sister? Can’t form a proper sentence without adding an “uh” or “um” every other word? Acts like he’s all that? Weighs more than…nobody. Forget that last part. He’s the one you’re talking about?
She cocks her head all cutesy. She looks confused.
SHIRATAMA-CHAN: Yes, that’s the one. So are you two…dating? Is that it?
I jump to my feet. The audacity.
INTERVIEWER: Uh, no? What? Hello? What did I do to deserve this?
She looks scared. My bad. Lost my cool. Her reactions are still cute, though. Sorta like me when I was a first-year. You really shoulda seen me.
I sit back down and nibble on a jelly cube. It restores my sanity.
INTERVIEWER: Look, we don’t do romance in the lit club. It’s banned. Not that I’d go for Nukumizu-kun of all people if it wasn’t. Guy’s more jellyfish than man. Wait, what were we talking about again?
SHIRATAMA-CHAN: I’m not sure.
She holds her finger up to her temple. It’s very cute. Like me when I was a first-year. Seriously. You had to be there.