“I won’t die, I promise. And don’t blame yourself for what happened to the old man. The knights of Bern are taught to take up the sword of their own volition. They choose to fight. Andreas chose to jump into the abyss. That has nothing to do with you.”
Lucas’s words flew in the face of reason, but he spoke them anyway with full conviction, so of course, my tears wouldn’t stop. I gripped his shirt and begged through my sobs.
“P-promise me you won’t die?”
Please don’t leave me. Please don’t throw me away.
His golden eyes flashed with a dangerous light.
“I promise. But you have to promise me something, too.”
“Huh?”
“Promise that you won’t give up. No matter what happens. That even if I break you, you won’t run. Swear it, Cece.” He gently stroked my stomach with one hand, and with the other, twisted the ring on my finger with the other. But his voice, as he compelled me, was terrifyingly calm. I opened my eyes wide.
His face was still and untroubled, but his eyes were raw and full of emotion. I squeezed his hand tighter.
If Lucas was going to keep living as a Hero wielding the sacred sword, his fate might be full of pain and trials.
One day he might no longer be Lucas, and that might be even worse than death.
And yet here he was, asking me to keep going. That was too kind… Too much.
“If you’re alive, then I’ll never run away. I swear, I’ll do anything, as long as I can stay by your side.”
I leaned against his chest, listened to his heartbeat, and made that vow from the bottom of my heart.
And for some reason, Lucas let out a huge sigh. Rude, husband!
“Haah, I figured you’d say that. That’s what scares me about you. You’re way too decisive.”
He grumbled something like “Are you trying to become a knight or something?” and I almost laughed.
But I knew his heart was heavier than he let on, so I reached out and gently touched his face, whispering softly through the warmth of his skin.
“It’s because I’m the wife of a knight.”
Lucas froze.
“I told you not to worry, but you’re in the same position as her, huh? No wonder you can’t let it go. I do think about the marshal’s wife, but there’s another reason I’ve been running around like this.” He fell quiet for a moment, and when he spoke again, it was about Marshal Webber.
“Andreas isn’t from Bern, remember? He’s from Barlefeldt. He traveled from country to country to hone his swordsmanship. I mentioned how he trained potential Heroes, right? It’s all based on those years of struggle. Everything he relied on to survive, he passed on in those lessons.” Then, with a grimace, he muttered, “Insane, isn’t it?”
I smiled softly and urged him to continue.
“He came to Bern because it was full of strong people. He saved Leon’s father by chance and ended up settling here, then getting married. He didn’t have kids, so he poured everything into the Knights. He rose to the top with nothing but his sword, and by the time I met him, everyone already called him the Hero.”
His golden eyes lit up, full of boyish admiration as he remembered the past.
I wanted to reach out and touch him, but I stopped myself and kept it to words.
“Did you think he was amazing?”
“Well, obviously if you’re a kid learning how to fight, a Hero’s gonna look cool.”
He blushed, maybe thinking I was teasing him, and pulled me onto his lap. He crossed his legs and hugged me from behind. He kissed my neck softly.
“He let me hold the greatsword he always carried on his back. There was a magic stone embedded in it to repel monsters, and it was so heavy, I could hardly believe it.”
“Nngh…”
I clutched Lucas’s arms, holding back whimpers while he left marks on my skin, like he was using my body to soak up all the emotions welling up inside him.
“That magic stone… Turns out it was a gift from the king of Barlefeldt. And for some reason, my training started with that sword. He said, ‘Start with practice swings and never let go of the sword!’ I seriously thought I was gonna die. So I’m looking for that sword.”
His mind seemed to wander as he spoke, even as his body seemed increasingly ingrained in mine. I went along with it at first, but when he muttered those last words, I couldn’t stop myself from turning to look at him.
There wasn’t a trace of emotion on that beautiful face, but I could sense his feelings spilling out.
“The stone’s considered a national treasure. So if something happened to him, they’ll definitely want it back. But there’s no way he’d let go of that sword. And monsters can’t swallow it. So if they find the sword, it’ll be proof that he’s dead.”
Lucas was hoping the sword wouldn’t be found, because if they couldn’t find it there was still a chance the marshal was alive.
“Waah…”
I was the last person who should have been crying. I didn’t deserve to be held in that moment. But I couldn’t stop the sob that escaped me. I couldn’t hold back the tears as his arms wrapped around me.
Lucas didn’t care that his leather gloves were getting soaked. He gently wiped my tears, barking a quiet, bitter laugh.
“Being the wife of a knight’s tough, huh? You probably didn’t want to hear that his body might not be found.”
“That’s not true! My suffering couldn’t compare to a knight’s!”
“I’m not suffering. The search is officially getting called off tomorrow. They told me preparations for a state funeral are underway, and I didn’t cry. My chest didn’t even hurt,” he said.
“That doesn’t mean you’re okay!”
If he were okay, his gloves wouldn’t be this battered. They’d been in perfect condition this morning. I took his hand and placed it in mine, then he turned it over and placed it on his chest.
“I’m not okay. I’m broken. That’s why I don’t feel anything,” he said.