All right, I get it. By standing with Cecilia, Yana’s declaring she has no need for a ruler who won’t stand with Aram. She’s forcing Islan’s hand.
But what wasn’t clear was why the hell my one and only wife, a woman worthy of utmost respect and reverence, was up on stage, performing the mortally dangerous Sword Dance as entertainment for these foreign buffoons.
“The chieftain’s daughter’s gone off stage. It’s just the princess now… Wait, is Bern’s princess going to perform the Sword Dance?! But I heard Princess Shireen was the only one who could do that?!”
“She certainly looks bold. I’ll assume she has some skill, but even if she fails, it should be worth a few laughs. If nothing else, she’s an indulgence for the eyes.”
“You don’t see skin like hers on a Majaarian woman. And her markings only add to her sensuality. No wonder the Hero wants to hide her. It’s hard not to hope even though we don’t stand a chance with her…”
The crowd’s whispers, at first hushed and fearful, soon became unabashedly vulgar. Their filthy comments reached my ears, even though I had no interest in hearing them.
I balled my hands into fists, directing my glare at Yana, who still stood behind Cecilia. Just then, my beloved lifted her arms, the same markings as mine etched all over them.
The sleeves of her robe were gathered just above the elbow, and they fanned out like veils, shielding Yana from view as if to tell me, “It’s not Yana’s fault.” And even if everyone said this was what Cecilia wanted, it wasn’t like they cared. The eyes they watched her with were those of ravenous dogs, glinting with obscene curiosity.
I couldn’t take it.
So I turned all my fury on the one I loved. “You’re supposed to be beside me. You belong only to me.”
That’s how it should have been. That was the only possibility that made sense. And if Majaar refused to abide by that rule…then it didn’t deserve to exist.
“Cecilia. Cecilia Cline Herbst. Please, while I can still hold myself in check, come back to me.”
The mana at my feet roiled as I started to whisper, but before I could finish, her eyes sharpened coldly.
A string of bells chimed, silencing the room, and she eased into a slow, graceful twirl. Her bright green eyes swept over the crowd as she moved, flashing a look of rebuke so powerfully pure the audience stared back in astonishment. One sweep of her gaze was enough to take over the whole room.
Dirk wasn’t easy to faze, and even he rubbed his arms like he’d caught a chill and muttered, “Wow. She looks at bugs with less contempt than that. Well, she’s made it clear this dance is for one person in particular. The rest of us might as well be furniture. My sister-in-law sure knows when to go hard, huh?”
For one person in particular.
The second he said it, I froze.
She kneeled in the center of the stage, her skirts swirling around her. She lifted her head gracefully and then pointed the blade toward herself.
Her eyes met mine.
A fierce love shone in her emerald irises. As I frowned, she gave me the sweetest, softest smile I could ever imagine.
I’m yours and yours alone, so please, look only at me. Love only me. Love me so much you could kill me.
There was no mistaking it. This was a confession.
It was so deep and devastating that I nearly laughed out loud.
“You’re so unfair.”
One smile was all it took for her to plunge me into hell, where all I could do was grit my teeth and watch. No matter how hard I worked to clear the path and keep her safe, it always ended with her shouldering the burden anyway.
I’d admit that a small part of me wanted her to worry about me and think of me, to carry me with her, even if it made things harder.
I wasn’t stupid. I knew I couldn’t be the only thing in her world. I knew I couldn’t own her entirely—not unless I erased everyone else from existence, and even then, she’d never smile again, and I’d just lose her anyway.
But even broken and despairing, she would be breathtaking.
That kind of destruction was only a very last resort, though. For now, I just wanted a moment. Just one breath, one blink, one heartbeat where I filled her thoughts completely.
I wanted her to hear nothing but my voice.
I wanted every word she spoke to be for me alone. I wanted her to sink her rose-colored nails into me, for our heated breaths to melt together, neither of us knowing where one of us ended and the other began.
I would be so happy if I could drink the tears that fell when she looked at me.
If I could have moments like that every day, then maybe I could let go when our final goodbye came. Not happily, of course, but I could console myself with trying again in the next life.
She had no idea that she gave me back much more than I ever hoped for.
And maybe she wanted to build a better world around me, too.
But in a world where I only had eyes for Cecilia, where she was the only one who shone, she must have seriously underestimated just how much she meant to me if she was still trying so desperately to win me over.
But I didn’t blame myself for getting swept up in her growing affection when her bright green gaze softened only for me.
I never imagined how blissful it would be to spend my life drowning in her tender love. To call her simply my wife or my ally was not enough. Nor did I imagine it would feel this dangerous.
Every day, I told myself I was going to smash the chains binding her to her title of princess, but no matter how tightly I held her, I couldn’t free her from them. And though I chipped away at her bonds, I was unraveling, too.
It’d taken such care to ease her into my real nature, to get her used to me, but somehow, we’d reached the point where the idea of holding her with these hands that had taken so many lives made me hesitate for the briefest moment.