Chapter 8

The deep-blue sky is clearer than I ever thought possible. I check the date as soon as I wake up. It’s April 7. Today is April 7. I check the newspaper and TV just to make sure it really is April 7. I know there’s no meaning in reconfirming it so many times, but ever since the day I became trapped inside the Rejecting Classroom, it’s become the only way to put my mind at ease. The events that took place within the Rejecting Classroom remain in my mind as information, but recalling those memories is like viewing pictures of me that were taken without my knowledge. The Box, Maria, O—I know who and what they all are, but they stir no emotions, no anger or sadness or anything inside me. I’m sure that’s why I’m also slowly forgetting I was once in love. The memories are all so thin and tenuous that they’re slipping through my fingers bit by bit. I’m sure it’s the same for Maria. We were never meant to meet in the first place, so I’m certain we won’t do so again now. Anyway, today is April 7, the first day of school. I’m now a second-year student. My homeroom is on the third floor now instead of the fourth. Just being a little lower and farther to the west isn’t going to change the scenery from the window much. But when I enter classroom 2-3, the atmosphere feels completely different, and my chest tightens with elation. My eyes land on a printout lying on my teacher’s desk, detailing the seating arrangements. I take a seat in the one assigned to me by the chart. I greet my new classmates with a gentle “Nice to meet you,” which they return in kind. Yeah, this is going to be nice. Another face enters the classroom. When he spots me, he raises a hand in greeting. “Wassup, Hosshi? Looks like we’re in the same class again!” He hasn’t said anything strange, but all fifteen of the people in the room turn to look at us. Yep, Haruaki is as loud as ever. “…Hey, Haruaki.” “Huh, what’s up?” I regard him with a suspicious look. “Is it really you?” “…Why’re you looking at me like I could be some sort of fake? You think I have a twin brother or something? Maybe one of those super-famous manga out there has you convinced that all high school pitchers are twins!” “…That’s not it.” I guess it’s going to be a while before I stop suspecting Haruaki… “By the way, Hosshi, have you heard—?” “Hey, it’s Haru and Kazu!” A new voice cuts Haruaki off midsentence. Kokone stands by the door of the classroom with Daiya next to her. Did the two of them actually come to school together like friends? If I point that out, I’m sure I’ll spend the rest of the day enduring Daiya’s mental torture, so I keep my mouth shut. “I felt my heart leap at the sound of a woman’s voice, only to find out it was just Kiri. You really know how to take the wind out of a guy’s sails!” “What the hell type of reaction is that, Haru? Who do you think you are?” “Yeah, well, I know you’re a big fan of mine, but I really have to draw the line at you following me to another class, you know? That’s all I was trying to say.” “Ha! Sounds like you’re just trying to cover up the fact that you’re madly in love with me. You’re such a child. And while we’re at it, maybe you should stop filling up your phone with recordings of my oh-so-cute voice?” “Who the hell would do that?!” “‘Yes, Master!’ …C’mon, Haru, it’s the perfect chance to add another clip to your adorable little collection! Here, I’ll give you another. Maybe you’d like it if I said ‘Welcome home, Master!’ this time?” I don’t know what to make of their conversation, but I do know it’s embarrassing, so I hope they’ll stop soon. “Ugh… Hey, Kazu, you don’t have any firecrackers on you by chance, do you? I wanna light one up and throw it in Kiri’s mouth so we can have some peace and quiet.” “Oh, look, it’s Daiya. He must be jealous because I’m giving Haru here all my finest voice samples. Don’t you worry, though. If you bow down and lick my shoes, I might just call you ‘Big Brother’ in my best little sister voice. Wow, I’m so nice!” “Could I get you to say ‘I’m sorry for ever being born’?” …Here I am in a new class, yet nothing has changed at all. Still, this is exactly what I wished for. I’m sad that Mogi and Maria aren’t here, but this is what I fought the Rejecting Classroom so hard to restore. “…What’re you grinning at by yourself over there, Kazu? You look like a creep.” Daiya brings everyone’s attention to me. “Ew, he’s right! Kazu has a huge grin on his face. He must be having a little laugh to himself or is probably thinking something perverted. Yeah, I’ll bet he’s imagining what it’d be like to have a little fun with the girl sitting next to him.” “I’m not.” I shut that down right away. Kokone purses her lips. “Whose seat is this, anyway? Someone I know? Someone cute?” Haruaki asks, even though he’s sitting in said seat like he owns it. I know the person’s name because I checked who would be sitting there out of curiosity while finding my own seat. “Yeah, it’s a cute girl.” “Really? Who?” She has a desk here. That at least makes me happy. As long as she has a seat here, she can take it one day. Who knows? That seat may not be next to mine anymore by the time she makes it back, but that doesn’t upset me. I smile and say the name of the one assigned to the seat next to mine. “It’s Mogi.” It was raining so hard, you could easily imagine it would never stop. When I heard from Daiya that Mogi had been in an accident, I rushed to the hospital. There would be no school for me today. The place they brought her to wasn’t in the city, so I took a taxi. For someone like me who loves the tranquility of normal life more than anything else, it was an almost unthinkable action. I had no other choice, though. I had to know the outcome after all my struggles in the Rejecting Classroom. I arrived at the hospital before anyone else, even Mogi’s own family. Most people mistook me for her boyfriend, so I ended up waiting with her family until the surgery was completed. The operation seemed to have been a success…at first. But Mogi didn’t regain consciousness that day. I wasn’t allowed in the ICU, so it wasn’t until she was moved to the general ward two days later that I was able to see her. Looking at her lying on the bed like that was painful. The noise of the EKG and artificial respirator rattled my eardrums. Her arms and legs were restrained, and her face was a mess of bruises and scratches. The IV dripped fluids into her arm, which was now purple. The sight of an injured friend in the hospital is enough to elicit tears in anyone. But I wasn’t the one who wanted to cry. I couldn’t, not in front of her. I held back my anguish and peered closely at her face. Mogi looked at me. She seemed the slightest bit surprised, but the muscles of her face hadn’t moved, so I couldn’t be certain. While I had heard from Mogi’s family that she had regained consciousness, I had also been told that, perhaps due to the shock of the accident, she had yet to speak a single word. Despite this, she struggled to open her mouth, as if she wanted to tell me something. I told her not to strain herself, but she kept trying anyway. Her exhalations fogged up her oxygen mask, but eventually, she spoke her first words. “I’m so happy. I’m alive after all.” I couldn’t quite catch everything, but that’s what I think she said. With that off her chest, Mogi began to cry. I wasn’t sure where to look, and my gaze swam over the room before finally coming to rest on Mogi’s tattered bag sitting next to her bed. It was open, and I could see a silver wrapper inside. I knew why it was there, so I reached in and pulled it out—a teriyaki burger–flavored Umaibo. The snack had lost its shape and was now just a bunch of crumbs inside the wrapper. As I ran my fingers over it, I realized I couldn’t bear it anymore and started sobbing. I didn’t understand why then, of all times. I had memories of receiving this from Mogi in that other world, but I couldn’t recall why she’d given it to me. None of that made any difference to my tears, however. I went on to visit Mogi many times in her room after she moved to the general ward. She always did her best to sound cheerful when she spoke to me. “I had a really long dream while I was unconscious,” Mogi said during one of my visits. It seemed she genuinely believed everything had taken place in a dream. A thought suddenly popped into my head. In that world, nothing could alter Mogi’s fate of being hit by that truck. At the same time, nothing could change the fact that she would survive. That could be why the Rejecting Classroom was never destroyed despite Mogi experiencing the accident so many times. Mogi had survived, but she would apparently never use her legs again. She had taken a powerful blow to the back that injured her spinal cord. There was little to no chance it would ever recover. I had no idea what the appropriate response was when I heard this news, so I stayed silent. Apparently concerned for my feelings, Mogi spoke instead. “I thought maybe I would feel like I was better off dead if things ended up like this. You can understand why, right? I’ll never walk on my own again. I’ll never be able to just pop by the convenience store again if I feel like having some dessert. I’ll always have to depend on other people or drag my wheelchair out to go by myself. That’s a lot of work just for some sweets. It’s horrible. But the funny thing is, none of that is enough to make me want to die. I wonder why. I truly, truly do.” …Because you’re happy to be alive. Mogi continued on, without a hint of gloom or false courage. “I’ll be fine. I won’t give up on school, either. I’ll make it back, no matter how long it takes. We may not be in the same year anymore when that day comes, but I’ll still keep trying.” Mogi smiled and flexed her arm weakly. I’m embarrassed to say that I cried in front of her that day. I was just so, so happy that her greatest wish had come true. …Is there anything I can do? I wanted to help however I could, truly. That’s why I asked. After saying it would probably sound a bit forward, Mogi made her request with a hint of flushed cheeks. “I want you to leave a place open for me to return to. I want you to create somewhere I can belong again.” …Again? Did I make a place where Mogi belonged in the past? “……I’m talking about that long dream.” After replying, she blushed for some reason and looked away. I’m at our school entrance ceremony. As I glance over at Haruaki where he sits yawning next to me in the gym, no longer able to feign interest in the principal’s speech, something occurs to me. “Now that I think about it, Haruaki, weren’t you about to say something when I ran into you this morning?” “Huh? …Oh yeah, oh yeah! I heard a rumor that one of the new students this year is really hot!” Haruaki slaps me on the shoulder and winks. “Oh, I don’t really care about that. She’ll just be an underclassman anyway, so it’s not like I’ll have much chance to see her.” “Are you an idiot?! Just looking at pretty girls is enough to make a man happy!” I don’t want to believe this is how everyone sees things. “So when did you hear that rumor, anyway? I mean, I haven’t seen any of the new first-years before this ceremony today.” “That’s the thing. I got the info straight from Daiyan.” “From Daiya?” Now, that I just can’t believe. I’ve never known Daiya to be one to talk about girls. “You don’t believe me, do you? Well, there’s a good reason why only he would know. You’ve heard how Daiyan got only two questions wrong total for all subjects during his entrance exam, right?” “Of course. He never lets anyone forget it, either. He says it was a new school record.” “Welp, I’m afraid to say that record didn’t make it more than a year! Too bad, so sad, Daiyan!” Haruaki could not look any more pleased as he delivers this revelation. There’s really nothing anyone can do for this guy…though I have to admit I understand why he’s so happy with Daiya’s misfortune. “Okay, so what does that have to do with why Daiya knows about this cute girl?” “You aren’t the sharpest, are you, Hosshi? This lovely lady got a perfect score in every subject and blew his record out of the water. One of the teachers apparently decided to tell Daiyan as the previous record holder. He even said the girl was so beautiful, she made a grown-up like him bashful.” That has to be an exaggeration. Why would the teacher be nervous? This girl wouldn’t have even half his life experience. The principal’s speech ends while we’re talking. The teacher in charge of the ceremony takes the microphone. “Thank you. And now we have an introduction from the representative of our new students this year…” “Oh man, here she comes! The beauty everyone’s talking about!” Huh, she must be representative because she’s top of the class. Even I’m getting curious by now, so I scan the stage to see if I can spot her. “Here is the representative for the new students, Maria Otonashi.” …Maria Otonashi? I swear I’ve heard that name before. No way—that isn’t possible. Besides, “Maria” was Aya Otonashi’s nickname. “Yes.” That voice sure does sound like Maria’s, though. Oh yeah, now it all makes sense. “Even if you forget everything, at least remember this: My name is Maria.” Wow, I guess she was actually telling the truth. …Wait. That means I was calling Maria by her first name the entire time…? Argh! Aaaaaahhh! “…What’re you turning red for, Hosshi?” Maria takes the stage with more grace than anyone in the room. Having lived for longer than everyone here, her dignity is already palpable. Just her turning to face the front is enough to set the students abuzz. I know that face well. It’s the face of the girl who was beside me for so long. Her uniform is brand-new. Yeah, this is definitely out of the ordinary. I’ve never once thought of Maria as being younger than I am. Maria casts her gaze over the crowd once she reaches the podium. It stops on me for some reason, never wandering from there. Then she smiles. Simply put, my entire body goes numb. Maria begins her speech, keeping her eyes on me the whole time. The commanding tone of her voice brings the excited students to a hush. “Hey, why does she keep looking this way? Oh, damn, what if she’s fallen for me?!” I hear Haruaki’s joke, but I can’t take my eyes off Maria, much less voice a response. I watch her the whole time. Maria does the same. “This concludes the greeting from Maria Otonashi, the representative of the new students.” She steps down from the stage. The moment she does, all the students go back to their previous level of commotion. Except, this time it isn’t just the students—the teachers are getting in on it, too. No one is more rattled than I am, though. I’m sure of that. Maria is coming this way instead of returning to where she was standing previously. Her force of presence is so strong that the students before her automatically clear a path without a single complaint. And she’s following that path straight this way. It’s leading to me. Why am I not surprised? It seems Maria still hasn’t kicked all the habits she picked up in that other world. She never needed to think twice about her actions there, but things don’t work that way here. I can practically see my precious normal life falling apart around me. All I can do is laugh. “Ha-ha…” What a pain. Yeah, it’ll be a huge pain, but…I won’t think of it that way at all. The last students standing between us move aside. Haruaki, too. The entire area around me has emptied as if I’m in the eye of a storm. Maria stands directly before me in this little bubble of space. I never thought I would see her again, but when I think about it, there’s no reason to expect she wouldn’t seek me out. She’s on a mission to obtain a Box, after all, and with O targeting me, sticking close by is her best option. Maria smiles. She slowly parts her lips to speak. “I think I made some declaration once saying I would always be beside you, no matter how much time passed, and it looks like that oath is still in effect.” With that said, she stands straight and introduces herself properly. “I am Maria Otonashi. Pleased to meet you.” The new student bowed deeply, just as she once had so long ago. And just as I had once done so long ago, I clapped my hands. The sound of my hands coming together resounded through the gymnasium for a moment. Then Haruaki, even though he didn’t really get what was going on, began clapping where he stood next to me. Someone else joined in. The sound of the clapping grew louder, though no one really knew why. In the midst of this sea of applause, Maria raised her face to look at us all. She was no longer smiling. She stood bravely, facing straight ahead with her fists clenched tight.