27,755th Time “Hey, do you notice anything different about me today? Anything at all?” asks Kokone, her features as familiar as ever. I know she’s directed this question at me before. What was the answer again? “…You’re wearing mascara.” “Ooh! I knew you’d get it right!” Looks like I chose the correct response. “…So what do you think?” “Yeah. ’Scute.” This smoothly delivered answer also turns out to be correct. My tone wasn’t entirely serious, but Kokone grins and nods as if the word “cute” is enough to satisfy her. “Hmm, I see you’ve got a lot of promise, Kazu. Maybe that failure of a human being over there could learn a few things from you.” Kokone folds her arms smugly across her chest and turns her head towards Daiya. “If you’re gonna go around saying that, then the quick death of a bitten tongue might be the best option.” “You’d be doing the world a favor, so by all means, go ahead.” “I meant your tongue.” “Ha! Does that mean you’re hoping for a deep, passionate kiss? I know I’m adorable, but you’ve got to get ahold of yourself.” And with that Daiya and Kokone begin their usual rapid-fire exchange of insults and abuse, completely oblivious to any change in my behavior. Eventually, Daiya brings up the new transfer student arriving today. Otonashi can’t arrive soon enough. “I’m Aya Otonashi. I have no use for any of you except Kazuki Hoshino and the owner of a certain item.” The classroom is instantly in an uproar. Uh, hey, Otonashi? You’re a transfer student, so it’s easy for you to put some distance between yourself and the class, but I’ve been a part of this class for almost a year. I can’t really do the same. “What does she mean by ‘owner’? Who owns what? Is she talking about someone connected to Hoshino?” “I think she’s just talking about his girlfriend.” “So Hoshino has a girlfriend, and this transfer student Otonashi is looking for her? I wonder why.” “There’s probably something going on between him and this Otonashi girl, too! Maybe they’re going out…or maybe he’s cheating on his girlfriend with her!” “Yeah, that has to be it! That version is more interesting, so let’s go with that!” “I bet Otonashi got herself tangled up in a messy love-hate relationship with our playboy Hoshino and transferred here in pursuit of him.” “That means Hoshino managed to seduce a hottie like her! Lucky bastard!” The story spirals onward as everyone ignores that I’m sitting right here. Where the hell are they coming up with this stuff?! “Actually…Kazu has been stringing me along…,” Kokone comments. “What?! You’re the other woman?” “No…I think I was more of a side fling. I was, like, the third girl in his harem, but I’m pretty sure there were lots of others.” “Tch… Damn, what a player!” Kokone fakes a few tears, and even Daiya contributes to the chaos with a few uncharacteristically loud remarks. It figures they’d choose now to team up, the jerks. “…What a mess,” I hear Otonashi mutter. “I was trying to keep my distance from the class, but now I’m right in the middle thanks to you.” Uh…are you sure it’s really my fault? As soon as first period ends, Otonashi and I make a mad dash from the classroom. Naturally, this sets everyone off, with a few of the boys in particular shooting me dirty looks, but I pay none of it any mind. We arrive at the usual spot behind the school. No more class for us. “I see. Now I know that the trade-off for winning you over to my side is being mired in all your relationships. Damn… What a pain!” Um, no, the real issue is with how you introduced yourself. “But this is the first time in 27,755 transfers that giving the class the cold shoulder has become a disadvantage. It’s truly interesting.” “Well, you may be having fun with it, but I’m certainly not…” “Don’t be like that. I can get a little excited when I come across something new like this. I never imagined cooperating with you would change things so much. This is a welcome opportunity for us.” “What do you mean?” “I mean we could come across some new facts I might not have found on my own.” When she puts it that way, working together might make this all worth it. But still… I have to admit Otonashi is onto something, though. After all, she had no idea what Class 1-6 was like before today. She had no point of comparison. One good example is how she had no clue my feelings for Mogi appeared suddenly between yesterday and today—in other words, during the loops of the Rejecting Classroom. “But how exactly do we proceed from here?” “…That’s the thing, Kazuki. Perhaps you hold the key to the Rejecting Classroom.” “Huh? So does that mean you still suspect me?” “Not at all. Let me ask you this: Why do you retain your memories?” “Uh…I don’t know?” “It’s puzzling, right? There’s definitely something about you that sets you apart from the other people here, but even then, doesn’t it seem strange that you’re the only one with memories from before?” “Well…yeah, of course.” “My theory is that this is also part of the owner’s plan.” “Uhhh…” “You’re as slow as ever. Basically, allowing you to hold on to your memories is one of the end goals of the owner.” So me retaining my memories is part of the purpose of the Rejecting Classroom? “That’s not possible. I don’t always keep them, you know. If it weren’t for you, I might have lost them like everyone else.” “That’s definitely a wrench in my theory. Still, there’s a distinct possibility that the flaw in how the Rejecting Classroom redoes the past is the same as the one allowing your memory retention. If we think of it in the simplest terms, the ‘bug in the system’ could be that you holding on to your memory is messing up the rewind.” It certainly does seem possible, but it’s still all so vague and hard to swallow. “What would be the point in allowing me to keep my memories?” “As if I’d know that.” …She says that with derision. “But I do know what emotion above all others stirs people to action.” “Which one?” Otonashi fixes me with something akin to a glare as she continues. “Romantic feelings.” “…Romantic…?” The look on her face is borderline scary, so I don’t process the words straightaway. I get it now, though. Romantic feelings. Love. Yes. “That sounds pretty cute coming from you.” She fixes me with a chilly gaze. “What’s cute about it? Love that obsessive is basically the same thing as hate.” “The same thing as hate?” I’m perplexed. “…B-but they’re totally different…” “They’re the same… Well, I suppose they are a bit different, actually. This kind of love can be an even more vicious emotion than hate if the person is truly unaware their feelings are tainted. It’s absolutely horrifying.” Horrifying… “That’s enough talk about that. Do you have any ideas, Kazuki?” “You mean of someone who might have feelings for me? There’s no way anyone could…” My voice trails off as something trips my memory. There is someone. At least, as long as that phone call asking me to meet up wasn’t some sort of prank. “You’ve thought of someone, haven’t you?” “…” “What is it?” “…Uh, so. Just because someone likes me doesn’t automatically make them the culprit, right?” “Of course not. That wouldn’t be enough to conclude they’re the owner of the Box. We’d still need to investigate them, though.” “No…well… It’s just that this person couldn’t be the one responsible for all this.” “What makes you so sure they aren’t?” I know why. It’s that I just don’t want them to be. “As long as we’re in the Rejecting Classroom, we have an infinite number of opportunities to find them. If there’s even the slightest chance they could be the culprit, we have to follow up on it.” “…But that way of doing things hasn’t ever succeeded before, right?” “I must have touched a nerve. Yes, that’s right, but the idea that the owner wants you to retain your memory is an entirely new perspective. I’ve never started my investigations from there. We may be able to glean some information I never could before.” “But—” “If you really trust them so much, wouldn’t you want to clear up any possible doubts about them?” Of course. She’s right. The truth is that I do have doubts, and I’m afraid of what we might find if we started digging. “…All right, I understand now. I’ll help you.” “You shouldn’t be helping. You should be taking the lead.” …She’s right about that, too. I’m the one who wanted out of the Rejecting Classroom, after all. There’s something that’s bothering me, though. Something feels really off. “At any rate, let’s get to work.” “H-hold on a sec.” “What’s there to hesitate about?! I’ve had about as much of this as I can take!” What seems so wrong…? Oh yeah. That has to be it. “What’s the matter, Kazuki? Your face is red.” “Uh, well, it’s just that…” Why is she calling me Kazuki instead of Hoshino? “What? You aren’t making any sense. Hey, why are you blushing?” “…S-sorry, just forget about it.” When did she start calling me by my first name? Not even my parents call me that. My face must be getting even redder. “…? You’re strange. Anyway, we need to get moving.” Otonashi turns around and walks off. “O-okay…” Maybe I should start calling her something besides Otonashi. Maybe call her Aya like she calls me by my first name. …Whoa, whoa, whoa!! Nope, nope, not a chance, absolutely not!! Maybe something like “Miss Aya”… No, that’s really stilted. Going by her last name puts too much distance between us now that we’re working together, too. I need something more easygoing… “Uh…” Only one thing comes to mind. It’s going to be really hard to say, but I’ve said the name several times already, so I should be able to get used to it. “…Maria.” I say it softly, just to test it out, but Otonashi instantly stops and turns around. Her eyes are wide in surprise. “Ack! S-sorry!!” Her acute reaction makes me apologize reflexively. “…Why are you sorry? You caught me off guard, that’s all.” “…You’re not mad?” “No need to be. You can call me whatever you want.” “I—I see…” Otonashi—no, Maria—smiles a bit. “Still, ‘Maria’ of all names… Heh-heh.” “Ah, well, if it bothers you…” “I don’t care. You just reminded me of something, though.” “Uh… What?” For some reason, Maria smiles kindly. “That you’re a funny guy, Kazuki.” I’m snooping. I’ve returned to the classroom and am now rummaging through the belongings of the girl who has feelings for me. I don’t like what I’m doing, of course, and I’m really feeling like I’ve strayed from the straight and narrow this time. It’s PE right now, so Maria made the call that it would be better to dig through the suspect’s things and find some clues before confronting her directly. I agreed, though I couldn’t bring myself to say so, which is why I went along with the plan despite my wounded morals. There’s no point unless I do some rummaging, too. Maria’s already gone through everyone’s things many times before. Judging by our current predicament, she hasn’t had much luck with it. That makes sense, though. Maria didn’t know any of our classmates before today, so she wouldn’t be able to tell if anything was weird or not. “Phew…” This girl’s textbooks are unexpectedly full of neatly color-coded underlined sections, and her notebooks contain small, rounded letters in a vibrant assortment of colors. There’s a doodle of a cat in the left margin, and another picture of a cat in the same place on the next page. The same with the page after that, too… That’s when I realize that together, the pictures make a flip-book. As I flip through the pages, a cat flies into space on a rocket made out of cans. I have to chuckle at that, which provokes a glare from Maria. Our suspect’s bag is full of the cute articles anyone would expect a girl to have. Most everything is either pink or white. Her iPod is jam-packed with J-pop. She must have her wallet with her, because it’s nowhere to be found. “Oh!” I find a cell phone covered with pretty decorations. A treasure trove of personal information. My hopes of finding a few leads are dashed to bits when it turns out the phone is locked. I won’t be able to explore its hidden secrets, but I’m kinda glad I don’t have to look through it, too. Next, I open the makeup pouch beside a pink mirror. This must be foundation, and that’s probably some colored lip balm. Here’s a pencil for drawing on eyebrows and scissors for trimming them, and this brand new one here must be…mascara. “…” Huh? Something isn’t right. “Did you find something, Kazuki?” “……I’m not sure, but…” I dig through the makeup bag. There doesn’t seem to anything suspicious inside. “Maria, what do you think of this pouch?” “Well, I’ve certainly seen it before, but I never found anything strange about it…” Maria’s face freezes as her sentence trails off. “—Wait, that’s impossible. She shouldn’t have this. If she did, I would’ve noticed during the 27,755 times before. But…she actually—” “What is it? Did you think of something?” “…Did you notice anything else, Kazuki?” “…Huh? …Well, it did strike me as unusual for her to have it.” “How could this be?” Maria has a pained expression on her face. I resume digging through the bag to see if anything else turns up. Down toward the bottom, my fingers make contact with a texture I know well. I pull the object out. “Ah—” Something is coming back to me. The familiar packaging triggers a memory. “So maybe if I’d made a move on you differently, you might’ve gone out with me?” “Okay, I get it. I’ll just keep after you until you finally return my feelings.” No way. No way. No way. I refuse to believe this. This is BS. It has to be a coincidence, nothing but a random fluke, but it’s too out there for my brain to have made it up… “Maria, what’s your favorite food?” “…What’s with you all of a sudden?” Maria frowns at me. “…Hey, what’s wrong, Kazuki? You look pale.” “…Mine is Umaibo.” I show Maria what I found in the bag. It’s one of my flavored rice sticks. “My favorite is corn potage, but I’ve never told anyone because nobody really cares. I snack on them in class all the time, but I’m always eating different flavors since I like to give them all a try. There’s no way anyone would know that I like corn potage the best.” “You aren’t such a big fan of the teriyaki burger flavor, though.” “Which one’s your favorite?” I stare at the snacks again, wanting to believe this is some sort of mistake. Every time I look, they’re always the same. They’re corn potage flavor, not teriyaki burger. The memory they’ve conjured up is telling me something. Even if it’s a coincidence that she has a corn potage Umaibo in her bag, the images in my mind are declaring irrefutably that she has to be the owner. “Kazuki.” Maria grips me firmly by the shoulders. Her nails dig into my skin and drag me back into awareness. “This is the part where I’d like to say ‘She has to be the owner. We finally found her,’ but I don’t think that’s the case…” She sounds so bitter that I have to ask what she means. “There’s no way the person who managed to fool me for 27,755 transfers would make such a careless mistake.” “But I thought you said you never actually knew who the owner was?” “That’s not quite right. For all we know, I could have identified her as the culprit many times before this. But I wasn’t able to remember it was her.” “Huh? Why?” “I’m not exactly sure, but it most likely has to do with the rules of the Rejecting Classroom. It’s not impossible when you think about it. The Rejecting Classroom will exist as long as the owner continues to believe time is looping. If they’re identified, it would cause the whole premise of the classroom to collapse. That’s why the rules are set up so anyone who learns the identity of the owner will forget.” “…But this time we found out it’s her.” “True, but it’s no cause for celebration.” Maria continues angrily. “What I mean is that if we don’t do something this time, we’ll lose everything we’ve learned.” I can see what she means. If we mess this up, our memories will be wiped, and we’ll have to start our hunt all over again from scratch. Maria is grinding her teeth in vexation. She’s used to having as many tries as she needs, so she finds this situation with no room for failure extremely irritating. “…Hey, you normally only get one try in the game of life, anyway. There’s no pressing the reset button and loading from a save point, not even for the little things.” I thought that sounded pretty cool, but Maria only gives me a chilly look. “Did you really think that would cheer me up?” “S-sorry… You just looked so upset that I had to say something.” Maria’s mouth softens at my apology. “Oh, I’m definitely upset, but it’s not because we’re in a tight spot.” “…So then why?” “Don’t you see? The Rejecting Classroom hasn’t ended, even though I’ve managed to locate the owner several times in the past. You know what that means, right?” I tilt my head. I can’t tell if Maria’s angry at me, the culprit, or herself as she spits out her next words. “It means the owner has beaten me every single time.” “Kokone.” “Oh, if it isn’t Kazuki Hoshino, Mr. Loverboy himself.” Kokone teases me in her usual silly tone of voice. It’s lunch break. The class didn’t go easy on Maria and me after we skipped all our morning classes. Maria put an end to it pretty quickly by refusing to utter even a single word in response. But it seems our classmates can’t keep their curiosity in check, because now they’re staring. Not that I don’t understand why. “Um, hey, Kokone. Actually, I—” I stop myself midsentence. Her normally cheerful expression has been replaced by a much more serious one, and she’s taken hold of my sleeve. With a quick glance toward Maria, she leads me from the classroom. “I have something I want to ask you. No dodging the question.” Releasing her grip on me once we’re beside the door, Kokone continues. “What’s going on between you and Otonashi?” “…Why do you ask?” I already know the answer, but I put the question to her anyway. Her only response is to lower her gaze, though. “It’s not that easy to explain.” Kokone remains silent, her eyes fixed on the floor. “But Otonashi isn’t the person I like,” I add. Hearing this, she looks up at me with wide eyes. “So that means…” Something catches her attention, though, and she doesn’t finish. The action doesn’t slip by me unnoticed. She’s peering hard into the classroom, as if searching for someone. Her eyes stop scanning. They’re focused on Kasumi Mogi. As of March 1, I wasn’t yet in love with Mogi, and I haven’t interacted with her at all so far during this 27,755th transfer. “The truth is, Kokone, there’s something I need to ask of you. Could you—?” “No, it’s fine. You don’t need to say it. I think I understand things pretty clearly now.” Kokone smiles and continues. “How about meeting in the kitchen after school? We can talk about everything there, Kazu.” At first, I wonder why she chose the kitchen, but then I remember that Kokone is in the home economics club. “I don’t think there will be anyone there today.” Kokone looks at me again as I nod okay. Her expression is unreadable. “Kazuki.” Maria calls me over from where she was watching on the other side of the door. She’s probably signaling to me that it’s time to leave. After telling her I would see her later, I start to turn away from Kokone. “Ah, hold up a second.” I stop short and face her again. “Hey, I just want to ask you something. You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to, though…” “What is it?” “Who is it that you like?” I answer without a moment’s hesitation. “Mogi.” As she hears this, Kokone lowers her head to hide her face. But I see her expression before it’s completely hidden. There’s no way I could miss it. Kokone is smiling. School is over for the day. As soon as Maria and I rushed into the kitchen after hearing a scream, we knew just how badly we had failed in everything. We missed this opportunity that would never come again. Just as expected, Kokone Kirino and Kasumi Mogi are inside. No, to be more exact, Kokone Kirino and something that was once Kasumi Mogi are in the room. The kitchen is covered in blood. The one behind all of this stands gripping a kitchen knife, its blade still dripping wet. “Kazu.” The look on her face doesn’t change once she notices me. “…Wh-why…?” I don’t understand. Why did she need to do this? Mogi is watching me, her diminutive figure drenched in blood, with the same blank expression she always wears. This time, however, the unmistakable gleam of reproach is in her eyes. Yeah, of course there is. There’s no doubting that I’m the one who caused this situation. “It hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts…” Mogi’s been quietly mumbling this whole time as if casting a curse upon me. I don’t want to hear any of it. Suddenly, I want to plug my ears and block it out, but I don’t. I lost free control of my actions the moment I saw Mogi’s bloodstained body. Her words force their way into my ears. I fight my hardest to avoid understanding them, but it’s no use. The words swell and surge like an avalanche, pouring over me until they engulf my immobile form. Mogi is speaking to me. She’s condemning me and voicing her hatred. “It hurts.” 27, 755th Time “It took me long enough, but I’ve finally realized I don’t need you anymore.” The girl tilts her head in confusion, maybe caught off guard by how suddenly I spoke. “Surely you realized you were getting in the way? Don’t you think that was wrong of you? You and I used to be friends.” But we aren’t anymore. I’m sure she probably still considers me a friend. Up until yesterday, we were so close we would talk about our love lives together. But I’ve changed. I don’t think of her that way now. We aren’t friends anymore. This isn’t just because I’m different. It’s because she can never doubt anything about the new, changed me. Even if I don’t speak to her like I once did, she’ll never notice. “Nothing can keep me from changing.” That’s the rule that governs this world. Say I changed in the normal world, and the others didn’t. Like how she still thinks of me as a friend. If something about me was different, it would draw attention as something unusual. That would be enough to interfere with my own evolution. It could turn into something like the mess one of my classmates caused by showing up to school with post-summer-break blond hair. And if I were stuck staying the same in circumstances like that, I couldn’t do what I wanted. Which would prevent me from achieving my sole wish, to greet today with no regrets. That’s why I have this helpful little rule. Yes, this world was made so everything would work in my favor. Even so… Even so, what? I can’t think of anything past that point. I get the feeling I shouldn’t. That’s why I decide to stop trying and choose a different topic. “Love is a lot like spilling soy sauce on white clothes, don’t you think?” Her head is inclined, as if she doesn’t understand my comparison. “It happens sometimes, right? And even if you wipe it off, it’ll always leave a stain. It’ll be there forever, so every time you see it, you’re going to remember that time you spilled soy sauce on yourself. It’ll always be there, so there’s no way to forget.” I open a drawer in a cupboard. “Pretty frustrating, right?” I grip the knife inside the drawer. “That such a stain was able to break me.” I pull out the knife. I’ve used this implement several times before for this very purpose. It’s the sharpest one here. She goes pale at the sight of what’s in my hand. Even though she probably has a pretty good idea of what comes next, she still asks me why I’m doing this. Maybe a part of her still believes I’m not going to do what she thinks I am. “What am I doing? Ha-ha.” Sorry, but I think this might… “I’m rejecting you.” …go exactly the way you feared it would. I xxxxx the xxxxx into her xxxxxxx. I try not to process the agonizingly black emotion threating to well up inside me. It’s impossible to resist, and all of this would be pointless if not for its presence, but I still fight it anyway. I don’t want to experience this feeling. I just want to keep pretending I don’t know what it is. She collapses, and blood spews from her mouth. She looks like she’s suffering. Poor thing. I’ve probably messed things up. I should have kxxxed her quickly so she wouldn’t have to go through this pain. “Making a mistake at this point can be pretty scary, you know. Boys get insanely strong when they’re in danger. Even the skinny guys are several times stronger than I am. It really hurts if they hit you when they’re terrified like that. What’s really frightening about it is that look in their eyes. Like I’m trash. How did I mess up last time again…? Oh yeah, I used a thin knife that looked cool. It wasn’t really meant for killing people. That’s another thing—stabbing and cutting people is very unpleasant. It’s gross. I even throw up sometimes. And then I start crying because I don’t understand why everything has to be so awful for me. But in the end, as long as the same people keep doing the same things, the results will never change, and the future I wished for will never come. That’s why I have to get rid of them. I don’t have any other choice. It’s horrible. Why have I been forced to do this?” The girl stares at me, the vitality fading from her eyes. “The truth is, maybe I didn’t need to stab you like this. ‘Rejecting’ someone all comes down to my prerogative, you know? I haven’t found any other effective method besides this, though. I’ve never been able to do it successfully without killing them with my own two hands. Completely erasing someone from the bottom of my heart is harder than you’d think. It weighs on my mind. I avoid that person out of guilt. Once that happens, I realize I never want to see them again and finally reach a place where I can truly ‘reject’ them. Once I do that, no one remembers them, not even me, no matter what happens.” Her head is hanging limp, as if she no longer has the strength to look up at me. “I understand. I’m terrible, right? All of this is awful. But what else am I supposed to do? …Sorry, it’s not like you would know. Ahh, why do I always blabber on like this? I know. I’m scared, so scared that I just can’t keep quiet. I want to think that if I explain why I do all this, maybe someday one of you will forgive me. But I understand. There’s no way you can forgive me for this, right? I’m sorry. I really am. I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I’m sorry for being so selfish. But I’m the one who is suffering the most, don’t you see? I blame myself for all of this. I know I’m a horrible person. So I honestly couldn’t care less what you think of me.” Who am I talking to? I realize it doesn’t matter, though. I was never speaking to anyone, ever. I never thought of the person collapsed on the floor here as my friend. No matter what, I’m always alone. “N-no—” I still don’t want to admit it, though. I say all this as I remain in this place that isn’t mine, continually being reminded of how alone I am whether I like it or not. Come on. Hurry up and get here. “Kazu.” When did I start calling him that? We became close several times during the endless loops, and he even gave me permission to use his first name, but he’ll never remember any of it. That’s when the door opens. And there he is. Kazuki Hoshino, the object of my obsession. He stops short and stands in shock as he beholds the grisly scene before him. Beside Kazuki is that sour-faced, interfering Aya Otonashi, that parasite who lives off the Boxes. “…You finally came, Kazu.” I’m disgusted at my own words. How stupid am I? How many times has Kazuki failed to live up to my expectations? You’d think I would have thrown him away time and again after these countless betrayals. He isn’t here by coincidence. I braced myself, invited him here, and showed him this scene. Despite this, I always hope for a miracle when Kazuki arrives like this. I hope he’ll take me from this place back into the real world. That’ll never happen, though. Kazuki’s eyes are open wide. “Kazuki, I understand how you must feel, but you knew this was what we would find.” That unwanted nuisance is saying something. “The owner is Kasumi Mogi.” Kazuki looks at Xxxxxx Xxxxxx with eyes as round as saucers. Her name? Oh, I forgot it. I can’t even remember when it left my memory. “Wh-why?” Why did I do this? I can’t hide my anger at Kazuki’s failure to understand such a simple thing. My eyes curse Kazuki as I bare my heart to him. “It hurts.” Saying it just once doesn’t help. “It hurts, it hurts.” It still isn’t enough. “It hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts…” Even so… “I want to live.” 27, 755th Time Now that I think about it, Mogi isn’t wearing any makeup. Unlike Maria, I don’t know much about cosmetics, so it doesn’t jump out at me at first. But Mogi has a makeup pouch in her bag. Why? Maria’s theory is that she got tired of it. I can’t remember at all, but I’m sure at one point Mogi used to care about her appearance. In the Rejecting Classroom, though, she could no longer see the meaning in making herself look good and eventually just stopped trying. The pouch is still in her bag, as it was on March 1 before the Rejecting Classroom came into being. Now Mogi finds putting on makeup and even taking it out of her bag to be a pain. The only person who would reach such a state would be someone with over twenty thousand transfers’ worth of memories, and the only person capable of having those would be the owner. Which means the owner is Kasumi Mogi, the one I love, and the one who loves me. “There’s something I have to tell you, Kazu.” Kokone said something like that when she asked me to come meet her during the 27,754th loop. “Kasumi likes you.” She knew how Mogi felt about me. I’m sure she was friends with her until yesterday and even offered her advice. We wanted to call Mogi out, but doing so would put her on guard. With her having outwitted Maria so many times in the past, we couldn’t afford to give her any time to prepare. That’s why we decided to involve Kokone and take advantage of her busybody nature. If we could somehow convince Mogi that I was going to confess my love to her, she just might show up. That resulted in Kokone being murdered. I remember what Mogi said to me. “Will you go out with me, then?” I wonder how many times she’s asked me this. How long has she liked me? If the feeling was mutual, then why did she say what she did? “Wait until tomorrow.” That’s how she answered me, right? Mogi seems oblivious to the blood everywhere, her face blank. Just like it always is. Was she so emotionless in the past? I don’t think so. There’s a bright and smiling Mogi in some of my memories, but she doesn’t seem the slightest bit real. The only Mogi I can imagine is this cold and silent one before me. What if the Mogi that was full of life, the one I’ve never met, is the real Mogi? Where did she go? “She’s been consumed.” Maria answers my unspoken question. “The endless cycle of repetition has devoured every last bit of her,” she says, regarding the emotionless Mogi with contempt. I’m reminded of something I thought once before, that there’s no way the human mind can withstand so much repetition. Mogi went through all of this 27,755 times, and now here she stands bathed in blood. “…It’s Kazu’s fault,” she declares, her eyes fixed on me. “Kazu drove me to this!” “…Mogi, what did I do?” “Mogi,” she echoes, the left side of her mouth twitching upward. “I told you. I know I’ve told you. I’ve told you hundreds of times.” “Wh-what are you talking about…?” “I told you to call me Kasumi!!” …I didn’t know that. How could I? “I told you hundreds of times, and you listened hundreds of times. So why? Why do you always forget?” “I mean… There’s nothing I can do about that…” “Nothing you can do about it?! What is that supposed to mean?!” Even though Mogi is screaming hysterically, her face is still almost entirely devoid of emotion. I’m sure that over the course of the thousands of repetitions, she’s lost sight of the meanings behind different expressions and forgotten them entirely. She can no longer laugh, cry, or grow angry. “Don’t listen to her, Kazuki.” Mogi finally turns her glare toward Maria. “Don’t call him that like you know him so well!” “I’ll call Kazuki by whatever name I choose.” “No, you won’t! …Why does he remember you and not me…?” “Mogi, you’re the one who made it this way. This type of system makes it easier for you to do things over.” “Shut up! I never wanted that!” Now that you mention it, Mogi did seem frightened that I remembered Maria during the 27,754th loop. At the time, I thought my strange behavior was what set her off, but knowing she’s the owner puts a different spin on things. Seeing that I remembered Maria and not her detonated all of Mogi’s pent-up frustration and sent her into a panic. “Kazu…” I’m not used to having Mogi call me that. No doubt she’s asked me if it’s okay to call me Kazu, just as she told me to call her Kasumi. I forgot, but she never did. “You said you liked me, Kazu.” “…Yeah, I’m sure I did.” “I returned your feelings. I said I liked you, too.” “…” My only recollection is of Mogi telling me to wait until tomorrow. I can remember nothing else. “I don’t remember you saying that.” I don’t have any other answer for her. “Do you know how happy that made me? I worked so hard every time things started over to make you notice me. I tried changing my hair, putting on mascara, flirting with you, learning your hobbies, learning how you talked… And then you know what happened? A miracle. Something about you clearly changed. I could tell you were interested in me. You were receptive, even though you turned me down so many times before. And would you believe it—you even confessed your feelings to me! My efforts finally paid off. I thought there was something next, something I would enjoy. I even thought this incessant repetition might come to an end. But then… But then, you…” Mogi stares at me without a hint of emotion. “You forgot.” I lower my head, unable to hold her gaze. “You forgot, but I had faith that the next time you might not. Each time I confessed my love to you, each time you confessed yours to me, I had hope, such great hope, but you never, ever remembered. Before too long, I gave up trying to make you remember, but I couldn’t stop that faint glimmer of hope each time you said you loved me. Who knows? Miracles do happen, right? But that’s also why it hurt more and more every time, more than you could ever imagine.” I was never able to imagine myself in a relationship with Mogi, yet she somehow managed to make this impossible thing into a reality during the endless loops of the Rejecting Classroom. She made me fall in love. Maybe that’s why the memories I do retain are always so vague. But even if she did, it was pointless. There would never be anything beyond that point. She would win me over, and then it would end. This love was doomed to be unrequited. There would be no relationship, no gold at the end of the rainbow; her feelings would never be reciprocated. “That’s why I eventually stopped wanting you to confess your feelings. But that didn’t stop you from saying it. You kept saying you liked me. It made me happy, but it hurt even more. That’s why I had no choice but to say what I did.” Mogi repeats that phrase I’ve heard so many times in the past. “Wait until tomorrow.” My chest tightens. Those words brought more suffering to Mogi than they did to me, even though I was on the receiving end of them. If all this is true, then why didn’t she try to put an end to the Rejecting Classroom herself? Her feelings will never be rewarded, and even if that isn’t her main objective, it’s plain to see she’s experiencing unimaginable suffering. “Kazu…do you understand now? It’s your fault that I’m in pain. All of it, everything, every single last bit of it is because of you.” “What a joke.” Maria angrily interrupts Mogi’s monologue. “You’re obviously just trying to pass the buck to someone else. Admit it. You couldn’t take the pain of your own Rejecting Classroom, so you want to claim Kazuki is the one responsible.” “…No! It’s his fault this hurts so much!” “You can think that if you want. But I know Kazuki doesn’t feel that way. It’s not even possible for him to remember you. He only has what memories he does now because he has his own purpose. It has nothing to do with your twisted love.” “That’s… How do you know that?!” “How, you ask?” Maria stands tall, her tone mocking. “The answer is simple.” Her next words are chilly and to the point. “No one in the world has watched Kazuki Hoshino more than I have.” “Wha—?” Maria’s sharp claim sends Mogi into silence. Her mouth opens and closes as if she’s trying to come up with a retort, but no words are forthcoming. My mouth is shut for an entirely different reason. It’s hard not to be embarrassed when someone says something like that about you. “B-but I’ve been watching Kazu for just as long—” “That time was worthless.” Maria’s comeback is unfounded, meant to provoke. “From the way things have turned out here, it’s obvious that time meant nothing. Take a look in the mirror. Take a look at your hands. Take a look at what’s lying there at your feet.” On Mogi’s face are clots of dried blood, now almost black. In her hands, the knife. And at her feet, Kokone’s lifeless body. “So go ahead, say whatever you want. Say that you’ve been watching Kazuki for as long as I have. But just ask yourself if you believe that means anything.” Mogi’s head sinks, as if the very core of her being has shattered. I can’t think of a thing to say to her. “……Heh, heh-heh-heh. You’ve been watching Kazu more than anyone in the world? Sure, that might be true. Heh-heh-heh. But it doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter one bit.” Mogi giggles, her head still hung low. “Hmph, how pathetic. You’ve finally gone mad.” “Finally…? Heh-heh… What are you saying?” Without raising her gaze, Mogi turns the point of the knife toward Maria. “Do you really think I’m concerned with staying sane anymore?” Mogi raises her head. “Let me fill you in on a little secret, Otonashi. The people I kill vanish from this world.” Her face is still as blank as ever. “That’s why it doesn’t matter! It doesn’t matter how much you’ve watched Kazu, because you’re just going to disappear!!” Mogi lunges toward Maria with the knife. I shout Maria’s name, but all she does is watch Mogi rush at her disinterestedly and without a hint of panic. She deftly grabs the wrist of Mogi’s right hand, her knife hand, and twists her arm into submission. “Ngh…” It’s a completely lopsided struggle, to the point that I’m embarrassed for yelling. “Sorry about this, but I’ve been studying martial arts this whole time. Reading a direct approach like yours just now was as easy as taking candy from a baby.” The knife drops from Mogi’s hand with a clatter. Now disarmed, all she can do is look dazedly at her weapon where it lies on the floor. “…Just like taking candy from a baby, huh…?” Mogi mutters bitterly, her gaze still on the knife. “…Heh-heh.” She’s still in pain, but she’s smiling. “Is that funny?” “‘Is that funny?’ you say? Ah-ha-ha, ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!” Mogi’s mouth opens wide as the laughter bursts forth. The expression on her blood-smeared face is nowhere close to being a smile, however. Though she’s laughing, her cheeks hang slack. Where her eyes should be crinkled in amusement, they’re now open even wider than before. Maria grimaces in disgust as she watches. “Of course it is! You compared grabbing my arm with taking sweets from a child! Oh, that is rich, even from you, the great Aya Otonashi! If this isn’t your greatest screw-up yet, I don’t know what is!” “I haven’t the slightest idea what you find so amusing.” “Oh really? Then let me ask you this: Could you really steal something from a baby?” I still don’t understand why Mogi is laughing, but Maria has fallen silent. “You got me. Yay, good job, congratulations. So now what? What was it you were trying to do again?” “…” “I know. I’ve heard it many times, in fact. You want to put an end to this world of repetitions, right? You want to get ahold of the Box, right? And how do you go about doing all that? Oh yeah! Don’t you need to kill me?” “…That’s right.” “I already knew how skilled you were in the martial arts. You yourself have said so many times before. So why are talking like you outwitted me? You made a complete fool of yourself! Did you really think I wouldn’t know any of this? I’m so embarrassed for you! It must be humiliating! Hey, you know I go back to the past each time just like you do, right? I know you front to back, too! I dropped my knife. You’ve got my arm in a lock. So…?” Mogi’s voice grows serious, and she speaks in a low tone. “What are you going to do with me?” “…” Maria doesn’t answer. “Otonashi, the kind the gentle soul. Otonashi, who could never kill me. Otonashi, who could never torture me. Otonashi, who could never even break a bone. Would that pure heart that abhors violence so much even allow her to wrench something from the hand of a little infant? I don’t think so. Absolutely not.” Now I see why Maria was defeated so many times in the past. Once things escalate to the point where violence is the only solution, she’s rendered powerless. And Mogi is well aware of this. “Think about it. I could’ve killed you—rejected you—any time I wanted to. Do you understand why I haven’t, even though you’re nothing but a nuisance to me? Sure, it can be convenient to have you around, like how you always save me from the accident. But that’s not it. I realized something the first time you figured out I had the Box, when you couldn’t corner me.” Maria clenches her jaw. “You’re not even worth the effort.” I’m reminded of something Daiya said once. The protagonist was at a disadvantage against the transfer student because she had more information to work with. Thing was, he actually had it wrong. It’s the protagonist—Kasumi Mogi—who has the information, and the transfer student is the one at a disadvantage. “I’m sick of this pattern.” Mogi sounds deliberately bored. “But things are different this time. Kazuki is here.” “You’re right! How about we try letting things take a different course, then?” Mogi kicks the handle of the knife on the floor. Slick with blood, it twirls and skids over and comes to rest against my feet. “Pick it up, Kazu.” The knife? I look back down at it. The knife glints red, even more wet with blood than before. “C’mon, Kazu, don’t you love me? If you really do…” I look up, watch the words form on her lips. “…then you’ll give me the knife so I can kill you.” What the…? I don’t understand. I know the meaning of the individual words, but I don’t understand what she’s saying to me. “Are you listening? I said give me the knife so I can kill you.” There it is again. I didn’t mishear. “What’re you playing at, Mogi?! I know you’re in love with Kazuki! Why would you ask him to do such a thing?!” “You’re right—I do love him. That’s exactly why I want him to die. Kazu is the reason why I’m suffering. That’s why I want him to disappear from my sight. It’s the obvious conclusion,” Mogi says, like it’s just common sense. “I knew Kazu was coming this time, so why do you think I let you all think you had tricked me into showing up? I had a mission to accomplish. There was something I decided to do… I decided to kill Kazu.” She meets my eyes as she spits, “If I kill Kazu, I can reject him. He’ll be gone. If that happens, I’m sure I won’t suffer anymore. I can stay here forever.” “Mogi, that’s nonsense! You— Ungh! Ah—” Maria suddenly grunts and falls to her knees. She’s holding the left side of her body. “…? Maria?” Something is sticking out of the left side of her abdomen. Huh? Was she stabbed? “Ah—M-Maria!!” Maria examines the object in her stomach. Gritting her teeth, she yanks it out with all her strength, grunting slightly in pain. Her eyes full of hatred for Mogi, she tosses the tool aside. I look at the object clattering to the floor. It’s a folding pocketknife. “You really slipped up. All the martial arts training in the world can’t help you if you never see the attack coming. If you were a boy, you’d probably be fighting back right now, but that thin blade will do fine for a skinny little thing like you. Sorry, but you can’t bulk up here no matter how much you train. That’s just the way this world works!” Maria tries to stand, but it seems the wound is somewhere vital, because she can’t. An unending stream of blood flows from where she has her hand pressed to her side. “I’ve experienced a lot here, too, so I figured it’s better to keep one of these on hand. I always hide this knife on me.” Mogi approaches until she’s right before my eyes. She stoops down and picks up the kitchen knife. “Ahh!” There she is, not on guard against me at all, leaving herself completely open, and all I can do is let out a pitiful yelp. It’s as if I’m paralyzed. I can’t move. All I can do is stand there like a post that’s been hammered into place. My consciousness threatens to abandon my body, as if my thoughts have skidded to a halt in refusal to accept the impossible scene unfolding in front of me. “I told you, Aya Otonashi. It doesn’t matter, because you’ll be gone soon.” Mogi straddles Maria and raises the knife high. She brings the blade down without the slightest bit of hesitation. Again and again, until she’s certain Maria is breathing no more. Maria never lets out even the slightest gasp of pain the entire time. “It’s too bad. I might have let you live if you were content with being the annoying little shit-circling fly you are, but no, you just had to try and make a move on my Kazu, so this is what you get.” With that final bit of spite, Mogi stands up. Maria lies motionless. For a moment, Mogi looks down at the kitchen knife she plunged into Maria’s body over and over, and then she casually tosses it over to me. Instinct draws my eye to the weapon that drank Kokone’s blood, and then Maria’s. “Okay, now it’s your turn.” I kneel down, trembling in fear, and gingerly reach out to touch it. I can’t stop myself from pulling my hand back at the slippery texture. Trying to swallow my terror, I extend my hand once more. It won’t stop shaking, and I can’t seem to grasp the knife. I close my eyes and somehow manage to pick it up. My eyes open. I’m holding the knife that stabbed both Kokone and Maria, and that fact makes my hands shake even harder. I feel like I’m going to drop it. I grip it with both hands to keep the trembling in check. It’s no good. There’s absolutely no way I’ll be able to use this knife to do anything. “What’re you doing, Kazu? Hurry up and give it to me.” No, it isn’t just me. None of us should be able to use this to do anything. If so… “…Who made you do this?” Not even Mogi should be capable of all this. It just isn’t possible… As long as nobody’s manipulating her. Mogi gives me a puzzled look. “…What’re you talking about? Are you trying to say somebody ordered me to do this? Are you okay, Kazu? You know that isn’t true.” “But I fell in love with you.” “Why are you saying that now?” “The Mogi I know would never do any of this, no matter how desperate she became, not even after twenty thousand times through the cycle. The girl I fell in love with would never do this!” Mogi seems at a loss for words for a moment, but she soon gives me an angry look and makes her reply. “Oh, I get it. You’re trying to appeal to my emotions so I’ll spare you. How despicable. I never knew you were this much of a coward, Kazu. You aren’t willing to lay your life down for mine, are you?” Of course I’m not. I don’t want to die, and I don’t think doing so would save her. “…Kazu, do you think it’s wrong to kill another person, no matter the reason?” “…Yes.” “Hee-hee-hee. Oh, how noble of you! Yes, you’re so amazingly just. I can hardly stand it.” Mogi stares into my eyes as she speaks. “Well then, how about spending your whole life…no—forever—inside this endless loop?” Her words are cool and heartless. She must know full well that’s the last thing I want. “After all, if I give you the Box, I’m going to die.” Does she mean she’ll die if the Rejecting Classroom comes to an end? Maria never said anything about that. “Do you understand? Removing me from the Box is the same as killing me. Do you think I’m lying? Do you think I’m just saying whatever it will take to protect the Box? Well, I’m not. If you give it some thought, you’ll know I’m right. I mean, why do you think I wanted to return to the past in the first place?” What would make her want to redo time? Maybe if something happened that couldn’t be undone? “Hey, don’t you think it’s funny that I’m the one who always gets hit by the truck? Sometimes Aya Otonashi would take my place, but… Oh, wait! You did get hit instead of me a few times! But in general, it’s always me.” “Ah!” No way… I finally touch upon a plausible reason why Mogi has never tried to put an end to the Rejecting Classroom. That traffic accident is an unavoidable phenomenon within the world of the classroom. The truck always hits someone, most especially Mogi. For some reason, it’s inevitable. I once said that I didn’t believe there was any way to change things that had already taken place. Maria responded that it was normal to feel that way, and that the owner most likely felt that way, too. So even if I had the opportunity to destroy the Box, the moment I did, it would mean— “Are you prepared to let that truck kill me?” —I would end the life of the person I loved. There’s a loud clanging noise. I’m not sure what it is at first, but it’s the sound of the knife slipping from my hand. “You couldn’t even give me this yourself. How pathetic…” Mogi walks up beside me and picks up the kitchen knife. She’s going to kill me. Having committed so many crimes already, the only way for Mogi to rationalize any of this is to keep committing more. Otherwise, the weight of her conscience would crush her. There’s no coming back for her. She’s lost all means of restraining herself, and now her rampage is going to kill me. She’s even capable of murdering someone she loves. I’m sure that from the moment she committed her first homicide, Kasumi Mogi was no longer Kasumi Mogi. Her emotionless mask of a face is spattered with the blood of two people. I can no longer stand, so she kneels down to my height. She puts her arms around me, the knife still in her hand. Her arms rest on my shoulders, and she places the blade against my carotid artery. Mogi brings her face close to mine, opening her mouth to speak. “Just keep your eyes closed, if you can.” I do as I’m told. Something soft touches my lips. I know instantly what it is. At long last, I feel a certain emotion boiling up within me, the one I didn’t feel when I saw Kokone’s lifeless body or even Maria’s stabbing: rage. I can’t allow this. “This isn’t the first time we’ve kissed, you know. Sorry it always has to be forced like this.” I will never forgive her. I don’t remember any of those kisses, and I’m sure I won’t remember this one. “Good-bye, Kazu. I loved you.” Is she really satisfied with just a bunch of made-up memories she can never share? It’s entirely possible. She’s become that used to solitude. I feel a sharp pain run along the muscles of my neck. I open my eyes in defiance of Mogi’s request to keep them closed. She seems flustered under my silent reproach, but the suddenness of it all means she never takes her eyes off me. Yes, I’m finally able to meet her gaze directly. I grab Mogi’s hand. From the corner of my vision, I can see a red liquid flowing from my neck and dripping from her hand. “…What do you think you’re doing?” “I…can’t allow this.” “What, are you trying to say you’ll never forgive me? Heh-heh… That’s fine. I already knew that. But it doesn’t matter. This is good-bye, after all.” “You’re wrong.” “…About what?” “It’s not you who I can’t forgive—it’s the Rejecting Classroom that’s stolen away our normal lives!” I tighten my grip on Mogi’s slender wrist, completely restraining her arm. My vision goes black for a second. Maybe the bleeding from my neck is fatal. “L-let go of me…!” “No!” I still don’t know what to do. I know I won’t be able to kill Mogi. Even so, the knowledge that I can’t allow the Rejecting Classroom to go on burns bright and clear within me. That’s why I can’t let myself disappear here. “Let me kill you! Please, let me do it!” Mogi is screaming. Her words are meant to push me away forever, but they only sound like cries of pain to me. Like she’s wailing in agony. …Yeah, I see it now. It took me a long time, but I’ve finally figured it out. Mogi is crying. On the outside, she’s as blank and emotionless as ever. There are no tears running down her cheeks. I look at her directly. She instantly averts her eyes. Her legs, so slender that it’s almost a surprise they can support her own weight, are trembling. With her facial expressions gone, Mogi can no longer recognize her own feelings. She doesn’t even know when she’s crying. She has no more tears. I’m sure they all dried up long, long ago. I’m sorry I didn’t notice sooner, Mogi. “I won’t let you kill me! I won’t let you reject me!” “Shut up! Don’t make me suffer any more!” I’m sorry, but begging won’t work on me. That’s why I yell, “I’ll never leave you in this place by yourself!” I think I feel Mogi’s strength waver for a moment. But then… “Ah—” Everything goes pitch-black. A slap to my cheekbone temporarily restores my vision, and the scene looks different than it did before. Mogi’s red-black slippers are directly before my eyes. My hand is no longer holding her wrist and instead lies limp on the floor. Mogi didn’t do anything to me. I just collapsed on my own. I had just reached a point where I could possibly get through to her, and now my body won’t work. I can’t even move my mouth properly. “I’m so stupid.” I can hear Mogi’s voice. “With just a few words, a few simple words, I…” Unable to lift my head, I can’t see what Mogi’s face looks like. “……I have to…kill. I have to kill. I have to kill. I have to kill. I have to kill. I have to kill. I have to kill. I have to kill. I have to kill. I have to kill. I have to kill.” Mogi is repeating the same phrase over and over, as if trying to convince herself. Her slippers move. Someone’s blood splashes, a few drops spraying my face. I can faintly see the gleam of the kitchen knife. Yeah, she’s going to use it on me. “This time it’s really good-bye, Kazu.” Mogi kneels down and gently strokes my back. “I have to kill.” She then plunges the blade into… “I have to kill myself.” …her own body. 27,755th Time “I have to kill myself.” I repeat this mantra to myself frantically. I have no other choice. It’s the only way to keep the false “me” from taking control again. I give up on everything. I can’t think of any other way to atone for the things I’ve done. There’s a knife stuck in my body. I’m lying on top of Kazu where he’s sprawled on the ground. His face is so close. Eyes wide, he finally notices what I’ve done. Don’t look at me like that. I try to smile and put him at ease, but I realize I no longer can. It’s been so long since I smiled or cried. The warmth bleeds from my body. Everything inside me is draining out. I hope the despicable things inside me will all be purged, too. “I’ll never leave you in this place by yourself!” Thank you, but I know that isn’t possible. It was never possible from the very beginning. You knew that, right? After all… …I’ve been dead this whole time. 0th Time Ah. I’m about to die. Time seems to drag on interminably as I lie where I landed after the truck sent me flying. There’s no surviving an impact like that. I’m going to die. This is the end. N-no… I’ve wished I was dead plenty of times before, but those were foolish thoughts from someone who never seriously considered what dying really means. Death. The end. Nothing more after this point. I’m learning how terrifying all of this is in my final moments. If this is what dying is, then I wish I could have died before love changed my world. But I know love now… I have a purpose… I haven’t even been able to reach out to the one these feelings are for… It’s all too horrible. “Hmm, well, isn’t this an interesting situation.” A man (or maybe a woman?) suddenly appears. I have no idea how they got here. Why are they able to speak to me like this is normal? It’s unclear where they are in relation to me. I turn around and around, but I can’t even tell what direction I’m facing. All the same, I know their eyes never leave me. None of this is possible. No, that isn’t true. This is some other place. The strange person is right in front of me, but I can’t figure out where that is. This place is perfectly nondescript, yet special. “No, I’m not talking about your accident. That kind of thing happens all over the world. What interests me is the fact that the accident took place next to a certain boy who caught my eye.” What is this person talking about? I’ve heard of people seeing apparitions before they die, but never anyone being transported to some strange place to have a conversation like this. I wonder if this person is a spirit of death or something. The figure before me looks like no one, but at the same, I feel like they could become anyone. There’s one thing I’m certain of, however: This person is wonderful. Silhouette, voice, scent—I find everything about this mysterious figure enchanting. “I’m curious about something. How will he react to a Box used near him? Oh, and I am rather intrigued to see how you would use one, too. All humans interest me, you see, even if just in passing.” None of this makes any sense to me, but I can see the person smile. “Do you have a wish?” A wish? Of course I do. “This is a Box that can make any wish come true.” I accept the item. I can tell it’s real the moment I touch it. I know there’s no way I could ever give it up. Please, even if my fate can’t be changed, please at least allow me to go back and redo a few things. Even just the previous day is fine. There’s still something I need to do. If I can do that day over again, I know I can tell him how I feel. And if I do that, I know I won’t have any regrets, no matter the outcome. Please, just give me back a little bit of time. I know it’s impossible to undo what’s already happened, but that’s still what I want. Once I’ve voiced my wish, the Box opens its lid like the mouth of some carnivorous beast before fading from sight into the surrounding space. Yes, okay. That should be fine. “Heh-heh…” The person with the charming laugh gives a brief opinion of my wish before vanishing. “Why do they always hold back…?” And with that, I’m ejected from that wholly unmemorable yet fantastic place. I arrive in a dark, damp chamber that reeks with the odor of countless corpses left to rot. The uncomfortable room makes even a jail cell seem like heaven. I’m sure I’ll collapse if I spend even an hour here. Soon enough, though, everything becomes a bright white, as if the room is being painted over. The color is so pure, I can’t see the boundaries of the room anymore. A scent like incense made from sugar candy drives out the foul smell. With each blink, the space gains a blackboard, desks, chairs, and other classroom fixtures. Once everything is in place, all that’s left to do is summon the necessary people, the ones who were in the classroom the day before. Once they’re here, we can do it all over. I can redo yesterday. But no matter how much everything is plastered over, this will still be that chamber worse than a prison cell. This is my afterlife, packed full of white, white, sweet hope. That’s why I have to do it. If there’s no chance of accomplishing my heart’s desire, then before all these pretty decorations are stripped away, before my disgraceful actions come to light, I have to destroy this Box with my own hands.
Chapter 6
56 min read